


IT'S BASICALLY DISCORD

by hanzo shimada (ubercharge)



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Chatlogs, Dirty Talk, Drama, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Violence, Multi, Self-Indulgent, Sibling Bonding, Silly, daddy jokes, elaborate shitpost, mccree crying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2018-07-25 18:55:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 47
Words: 76,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7544062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ubercharge/pseuds/hanzo%20shimada
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>grandiose shitpost streamed directly into your computer from hanzo shimada</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. LOG 1: PART 1/3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like i said on tumblr this is basically me shitposting but with _class._ it was [this fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7324573/chapters/16637323) that reminded me of the whole chat-style fic trend (if i can call it that). i read one forever ago and it was ridiculous. otherwise, i lived - still live - in paragraphs, be it fic or rping. my shitposts and similar jokes in conversations with friends are the closest i get to chat-style writing, so it was oddly refreshing to read that fic, and i strongly recommend it. this is also inspired by [this meta tf2 fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2643368/chapters/5902349) (one of the best pieces of writing ever to exist), and the homestuck memos for being exemplars of clusterfuckery. kinda riffed off their format for the technical stuff. //

**\-- OVERWATCH CHAT --**

**LENA:** ok im logged in! the dna scanner kept messing up and wouldnt process me :(

 **WINSTON:** Did you hold still like it told you to?

 **LENA:** youre supposed to stay STILL for that??

 **WINSTON:** ...You got in, and that’s what matters. Keep your computer on you and you won’t have to log in again each time.

 **LENA:** of course, love!

 **LENA:** i wouldnt leave my guns behind anyway theyre kind of attached :P

 **ANA:** what the fuck is this

 **WINSTON:** A chat group, Captain Amari. It was in today’s announcement.

 **ANA:** does anyone actually pay attention to those

 **WINSTON:** Well... no.

 **ANA:** yeah thats what i thought

 **ANA:** anyway why do we need a chat group lol

 **WINSTON:** We can use this for a variety of things, actually! For people who miss the announcements, we can pin important messages for later viewing, notify everyone to said messages, and so on.

 **WINSTON:** Oh, and we can also use the voice channels to communicate in case our regular channels are down.

 **ANA:** can i have a blue name too

 **WINSTON:** No. It’s for the administrators. For the time being, I’ll leave that task to myself.

 **ANA:** damn

 **REINHARDT:** isn’t this program basically discord?

 **WINSTON:** Modelling it after a widely used chat program seemed like the wisest decision.

 **REINHARDT:** hold on, can you add the airhorn bot to this server?

 **WINSTON:** No, Reinhardt.

 **REINHARDT:** well why not?

 **WINSTON:** It’s not the same program, they just look similar.

 **WINSTON:** Anyway, this program is different because it’s more private. People won’t be poking into our conversations here. I suppose it’s not impossible, but it’d be very difficult.

 **REINHARDT:** where’s the one-on-one chat?

 **WINSTON:** It’s the same as Discord, in the top left icon.

 **REINHARDT:** i could’ve guessed that

 **ANA:** lmao but you didnt

 **REINHARDT:** i just need to ask someone to play an airhorn for me!

 **ANA:** i cant believe youre trying that old joke on us

 **REINHARDT:** i didn’t think any of these kids would appreciate the humor.

 **ANA:** i didnt think you had a sense of humor in the first place

 **REINHARDT:** now that’s just rude. :(

 **LENA:** err is this what the chats supposed to be used for?

 **LENA:** @WINSTON

 **WINSTON:** @LENA: Sorry, I was away from the keyboard. I was hoping we could talk strategy or utilize it in a more practical way.

 **ANA:** why didnt you just type afk

 **WINSTON:** I thought that typing out ‘away from the keyboard’ would make my apology sound more sincere.

 **ANA:** i mean its ok we all know what it stands for anyway

 **JACK:** Hey everyone! what’d i miss here? :-)

 **ANA:** nothing important

 **WINSTON:** Nothing important.

 **JACK:** Now we can talk strategy, right?

 **ANA:** ughhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **ANA:** we just had our strat sesh yesterday can you like

 **ANA:** chill

 **ANA:** for 24 SOLID hours

 **JACK:** But there’s so much more we can do here! i left my phone in my room yesterday and none of you would lend me yours so i couldn’t project the holo diagrams. :-(

 **ANA:** we didnt want to lend you our phones because youd make the session go a lot longer than it needed to

 **ANA:** were already fully prepped for next mission dude

 **JACK:** :-(

 **GABRIEL:** whatd i miss.

 **ANA:** nothing important

 **GABRIEL:** ok. figured.

 **ANA:** wheres the kid

 **GABRIEL:** told him to run a few laps to get him out of my hair.

 **ANA:** hahaha nice

 **ANA:** holographic five

 **ANA:** did you open that text i almost sent a holographic fistbump instead

 **GABRIEL:** yeah i got it.

 **ANA:** k cool

 **JESSE:** you made me run laps for your own amusement???

 **GABRIEL:** no.

 **GABRIEL:** did you even read what i typed. i made you run laps so youd fuck off.

 **JACK:** Looks like somebody’s in trouble!

 **GABRIEL:** shut up jack.

 **ANA:** hahahahaha oh wow get told

 **JESSE:** i wouldve left you alone if youd just asked!

**\-- REINHARDT added AIRHORN BOT to the server. --**

**REINHARDT:** YES

 **WINSTON:** NO

 **REINHARDT:** !airhorn

 **JACK:** JESUS CHRIST!

 **ANA:** you cant hear me laughing but i want everyone here to know im laughing

 **GABRIEL:** that was loud.

 **ANA:** your own fault for keeping your phone at top volume to listen to your awful angry music

 **GABRIEL:** theres nothing wrong with my taste in music.

 **LENA:** what was that??

 **REINHARDT:** i added a bot that plays an airhorn noise to anyone in the voice channels when you type the !airhorn command

 **REINHARDT:** normally i wouldn’t bother with this kind of silly behaviour, but it was too funny to resist

 **REINHARDT:** you kids with your holographic facetiming need to understand what the pinnacle of humour was on the internet back in my day

 **GABRIEL:** literally nobody here wants to hear about the internet in 2016.

 **LENA:** yeah, whatd they do back then anyway? ride dinosaurs to work?

 **REINHARDT:** @WINSTON: how'd that play out loud to everyone?

 **WINSTON:** It plays to anyone in the voice channels.

 **REINHARDT:** so we’re all auto-added to the voice channel by default? who thought of that

 **WINSTON:** Some parts of this chat client are experimental. The issues are still being ironed out.

 **LIAO:** eyyy whaddup crew

 **JACK:** Weren’t you out doing something? running an errand earlier?

 **LIAO:** that was EARLIER bruh im done running errands for the day

 **LIAO:** genji and i sparred a lil hes a good opponent

 **JESSE:** why aint he here now?

 **LIAO:** uhh iunno i think he was stretchin or w/e

 **LIAO:** even cyborgs gotta stay limber dude

 **JESSE:** you didnt hurt him didja?

 **LIAO:** nah it was just friendly sparring

 **GENJI:** Help

 **ANGELA:** You injured him enough for him to be in the infirmary. :(

 **JESSE:** oh my lord

 **GENJI:** Haha kidding did i miss anything important

 **ANA:** no

 **ANGELA:** @ANA: Torbjörn and I are working on a new biotic device that I believe you’d be interested in. He’s working right now, but I’ll make a chat group for us to discuss it.

 **ANA:** oh sweet

 **LIAO:** can i see :O

 **ANA:** no didnt you see her @ me not you

 **LIAO:** :(

**\-- WINSTON banned AIRHORN BOT from the server. --**

**REINHARDT:** NOOO

 **ANA:** you monster

 **WINSTON:** It had to be done.

 **REINHARDT:** no it didn’t :’(

 **LIAO:** time to play some funeral music anyone got a track on em?

 **GABRIEL:** i do.

 **LIAO:** gabe why tf do u have funeral music on ur phone

 **GABRIEL:** thats none of your business.

 **ANA:** its probably his ringtone lol

 **LIAO:** can u imagine??

 **ANA:** yea

 **GABRIEL:** its not my ringtone.

 **JESSE:** to be fair nobody has their phone off vibrate or silent

 **JACK:** You dont even need a phone these days! i mean i still have mine because im attached to it but my eyepiece is so much more convenient.

 **GABRIEL:** do you have your phone on you right now.

 **JACK:** Yes of course! i take it with me everywhere i go, you never know when it can come in handy. the more computers you carry, the more practical, right?

 **ANA:** werent you JUST talking about how you left your phone in your room yesterday and thats why you couldnt show us those low quality holo diagrams?

 **JACK:** Sometimes i forget my phone but i dont mean to. :-(

 **JACK:** Wait where'd my phone go

 **JACK:** Crap!!

 **GABRIEL:** you didnt leave it in your room. you left it in mine.

 **LIAO:** wh

 **ANA:** well now things are getting interesting

 **GABRIEL:** shit.

 **JACK:** What? theres nothing wrong with me being in gabes room yesterday!

 **ANA:** jack we were in your strat session almost all day and you passed out at the dinner table because you talked for like twelve hours straight

 **ANA:** the only time you couldve been in gabes room was before the meeting

 **ANA:** which started at like

 **ANA:** 7am

 **LIAO:** im on the edge of my seat rn holy shit

 **JACK:** Whatre you implying?

 **LIAO:** nothing we didnt already know buddy

 **ANA:** im not even mad

 **ANA:** im just disappointed you didnt tell me sooner

 **JACK:** Ana... :-(

 **ANA:** get your nose smiley away from me

 **LIAO:** i cant believe gabe and jackre fucking!!

 **ANA:** i can

 **ANA:** i brought this up months ago why didnt you believe me

 **LIAO:** idk i guess i couldnt visualize it

 **GABRIEL:** we arent having sex.

 **ANA:** dont dig your grave deeper than it already is reyes

 **ANA:** do you want me to tell your mother

 **GABRIEL:** no dont.

 **GABRIEL:** dont lie to my mother about my relationship status. shes going to want me to propose if you give her that kind of idea.

 **LIAO:** omfg

 **ANA:** omfg

 **JACK:** ?????

 **JACK:** I’m sorry i’m lost now??

 **LIAO:** ur ‘boyfriend’ wants to marry u

 **JACK:** What!!

 **GABRIEL:** stop.

 **LIAO:** ggjvbdfmlhdf

 **LENA:** dont push gabe hell be ready when hes ready!!

 **LENA:** if they didnt want to tell us then lets be respectful of that ok??

 **JACK:** I’m so confused! can someone please fill me in without it being a joke?

 **LIAO:** can u confirm if u and gabe r fucking

 **JACK:** Um...??

 **GABRIEL:** why is this happening.

 **ANA:** because you two slept together and didnt fill us in on the juicy gossip

 **LIAO:** yea were disappointed in u both :(

 **LIAO:** mostly ana tho her disappointment could kill a man

 **LIAO:** or in this case two men lol

 **JESSE:** GABRIEL AND JACK ARE FUCKING SINCE WHEN WHAT

 **JESSE:** HOW DID I MISS THIS

 **GABRIEL:** jesse i swear to god.

 **ANA:** lol dont get grounded

 **JESSE:** i was eating

 **JESSE:** but clearly i missed out on some real important conversation

 **GENJI:** I saw this coming from a mile away

 **ANA:** see genji understands

 **GENJI:** Its like you were are purposefully blind to them sneaking away

 **GENJI:** One after the other but in the end

 **GENJI:** Always together

 **LENA:** well they are good friends!

 **LENA:** the best of friends

 **REINHARDT:** just guys being dudes?

 **GABRIEL:** not you too.

 **ANA:** just gals bein pals

 **GABRIEL:** neither of us are gals.

 **ANA:** figured you wouldnt get the joke

 **GABRIEL:** where the hell did winston go. hes the only admin in this group.

 **LIAO:** hes probly got work to do unlike u

 **LIAO:** u got stuff to do too tho

 **LIAO:** u know

 **LIAO:** stuff

 **LIAO:** [[eyebrow_raise_4.gif]]

**\-- GABRIEL left the server. --**

**JACK:** Look what you guys did! now hes gonna be grumpy for the next week

 **ANA:** @WINSTON: readd the big baby

 **LIAO:** i can hear him listening to loud music in his room

 **LIAO:** but its not his ‘PISSED OFF’ tracklist

 **LIAO:** so i think were in the clear

 **WINSTON:** What happened?

 **GENJI:** The inevitable id say

 **JACK:** :-/

 **GENJI:** How can you use that emote and take yourself seriously

 **GENJI:** Overwatch never ceases to amaze me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ if this was realistic, half the group wouldn’t even be using their names nor call signs as their chat name, and most of the chat names would be in lowercase. but this was so much easier to read.


	2. LOG 1: PART 2/3

**\-- WINSTON added GABRIEL to the server. --**

**GABRIEL:** what.

 **LENA:** we missed you, love!

 **GABRIEL:** youre all annoying as hell.

 **JACK:** :-(

 **ANA:** hey dont make your boyfriend sad reyes

 **ANA:** ill come over to your room right now to beat you up

 **GABRIEL:** id like to see you try.

 **ANA:** ok 1 sec

 **LIAO:** uh oh

 **GENJI:** @ANGELA

 **ANGELA:** Did someone call a doctor? :)

 **GENJI:** Read the above, dr. ziegler

 **ANGELA:** Uh oh.

 **LIAO:** yep

 **GENJI:** Now what

 **JESSE:** i dont know about you but im runnin over to gabriels room as fast as these legsll take me

 **JESSE:** my phones already on record

 **GENJI:** And yet you are still able to reply to us

 **JESSE:** the group chats gotta know what its gotta know genji!!

 **GENJI:** Valid point

 **GABRIEL:** h

 **LIAO:** h?

 **LIAO:** u ok gabe

 **GABRIEL:** hr

 **LIAO:** ????

 **GENJI:** We dont have all day to decode your minimalist messages captain reyes

 **JESSE:** LORD

 **GENJI:** Whats happening jesse

 **JESSE:** HOLD ON IM RECORDING

 **JESSE:** not sure what gabriels typin out though

 **GABRIEL:** hrl

 **LIAO:** hes clearly trying his best

 **MEI:** Was this a bad time to check in?

 **LIAO:** perfect timing actually

 **GABRIEL:** hlrlfklmn ,jk,mlkmklmcxvfk m, m,lmm,vcxm,cmk

 **LIAO:** thems fightin words there gabe

 **JACK:** What on earth??

 **JACK:** Gabe I’m coming over to your room, ok?

 **LIAO:** yesss the bf saves the day

 **JESSE:** how cant yall hear this from your rooms???

 **LIAO:**  i put my headphones on after gabe started playin his shitty music

 **MEI:** I’m nowhere near the rest of you right now!

 **GENJI:** Im not in my room im covering for dr. ziegler while she checks on the

 **GENJI:** Situation

 **GABRIEL:** HELP MLFLKFJGHFLDBMDFLMFDLGM DLHNKFD M,VFGCV BVBM,NMJN,K BHNJ MBHNJJN

 **GABRIEL:** SHES SMACIKING M Y HEAD OJN NTNHE CKEYBOARDBHJNJKKJJHBN

 **GABRIEL:** L,BKVH;VBB;VN’LBV;NP’GBV;BNCVL;V;LBCNCF;LL;NBV,B

 **JACK:** Don’t worry i’m almost there!! wow this base is huge.

 **ANGELA:** Oh dear.

 **GENJI:** This is what you get for using a mechanical instead of entering the current era

 **GENJI:** There are so many better keyboards

 **LIAO:** yea seconded lmao

 **WINSTON:** It’s almost two in the morning, aren’t you guys going to bed? Some of you have to be up early.

 **LIAO:** but shits goin down in gabes room

 **WINSTON:** That’s not exactly what I’d consider out of the ordinary.

 **LIAO:** touche

 **GÉRARD:** Its ‘touché’ actually!

 **LIAO:** touche

 **GABRIEL:** nothing is amiss please ignore everything i tyPTYIRGBJLEFJMVKDLFLGJDFCFHGVN BVGM ,VCX M,CV X,V C STOP S TOP J FGSTOP STOP STOP

 **GABRIEL:** ANA  IS BEATIGBI ME U PTHIS IS NOT L EGAL

 **GABRIEL:** @ANGEA

 **GABRIEL:** @ANGLEA

 **ANGELA:** Haha, that’s me!

 **ANGELA:** Sort of. :)

 **GABRIEL:** AREL YOU FCOMING TO HELP   OR NOT

 **ANGELA:** Yes, of course. Hold on.

 **JESSE:** i think angela just kicked the door down but i was lookin at the chat dammit

 **LIAO:** wtf how

 **LIAO:** theyre automatic and they slide open not swing

 **JESSE:** i guess gabriel didnt lock his??

 **JESSE:** i mean ana got in

 **LIAO:** o tru

 **JESSE:** any of yall on my stream rn open it up

 **LIAO:** man i fuckin hate that app the lag issues are so 2020s

 **JESSE:** just open it

 **LIAO:** hold tf on to ur buckin bronco im opening it

 **LIAO:** yowch thats gonna scar lol

 **LIAO:** this also bein recorded? i need a copy

 **JESSE:** yeah of course

 **GENJI:** Well it looks like dr. ziegler is going to have her hands full

 **GENJI:** I didnt even know captain reyes had that much blood in his body

 **ANGELA:** He’ll be fine, don’t worry!

 **LIAO:** ngl even im a lil worried

 **ANGELA:** I brought my staff. It’s not like this is the first time Ana has injured him.

 **LIAO:** ive got a bruise on my arm from her daily punch hello

 **JESSE:** same

 **ANA:** hey im back

 **LIAO:** is gabe dead

 **ANA:** lol no angela was like ‘stop you cant do that’ and i was like ‘witness me’ and she was like ‘no’ and i was like ‘ok’

 **LIAO:** well u sure did tell him what for

 **ANA:** correct

 **GÉRARD:** Ana you have got to stop punching gabriel for fun

 **ANA:** he deserved it

 **GÉRARD:** But its rude!

 **ANA:** look i know im not usually a violent person

 **LIAO:** um

 **JESSE:** um

 **ANA:** but he was all ‘come fight me’ and i was like ‘ok’

 **GÉRARD:** Why would he ask you to fight him? He’s not good at fighting back

 **ANA:** eh hes ok on the field

 **ANA:** but his big ego heres gonna be his downfall

 **LIAO:** savage

 **ANA:** we had a heart to heart conversation while it was happening anyway

 **GÉRARD:** Oh wow really? What about?

 **ANA:** idk feelings and stuff hes got a lot of them

 **LIAO:** shocker

 **ANA:** right?? lol

 **JACK:** You didn’t hurt him too bad, did you? :-(

 **ANA:** angelas there hell be fine dw

 **JACK:** Oh, well... good then. i was really worried!

 **ANA:** i know loverboy i know

 **JACK:** So, um, what did you talk about?

 **LIAO:** omg

 **ANA:** ask him yourself

 **ANGELA:** Sorry, I just knocked him out! He’s going to be asleep until tomorrow.

 **JACK:** Oh no!

 **ANA:** good

 **WINSTON:** Everyone, go to bed! It’s late and you can talk in the morning.

 **LENA:** aww but i was just catching up on jesses stream

 **JESSE:** wait hold on

 **JESSE:** [[gabriel gets beat up.avi]]

 **LIAO:** NICE LMAO

 **ANA:** ok first youre gonna be in so much trouble tomorrow with gabe

 **ANA:** second do you have an hd version

 **JESSE:** yeah ill dropbox it

 **ANA:** thank you

 **LIAO:** share it w/ me too pls

 **LENA:** and me!

 **JESSE:** ill dm the link to yall

 **LIAO:** thank u

 **MEI:** I don’t know how you guys can watch that!

 **LIAO:** schadenfreude my dear mei

 **LIAO:** besides we all kinda wanna punch gabe sometimes

 **LIAO:** like yea we love the dude but

 **LIAO:**  he gotta learn how to chill u feel me?

 **MEI:** I agree, but please remember to be nice to him tomorrow!

 **JACK:** Yeah. :-(

 **ANA:** dw gabe and i have a mutual understanding

 **ANA:** theres a lot of punching involved

 **ANA:** hes usually the receiver

 **GENJI:** I cannot imagine a better friendship

 **GENJI:** Except maybe for the one between commander morrison and captain reyes haha

 **JACK:** See, genji understands! we’re just friends.

 **GENJI:** No did you not see the ‘haha’ i added

 **GENJI:** We all know youre sleeping together i was making a joke

 **JACK:** !!!

 **ANA:** nobodys judging jack in fact you probably settled some bets

 **MEI:** (Would settle one more if he admitted it in text, though.)

 **MEI:** (Please.)

 **JACK:** I don’t have to confirm or deny anything! our personal lives are none of your business.

 **GENJI:** We know that and were not trying to invade your privacy

 **GENJI:** Its just

 **GENJI:** Everyone already knows

 **GENJI:** The sooner you tell us the sooner we can bake you a cake

 **JACK:** Well i do like cake.

 **GENJI:** Exactly we all win

 **JACK:** What kind of cake?

 **REINHARDT:** ‘congrats on the sex’

 **JACK:** >:-(

 **GENJI:** I think it depends on whats available actually

 **GENJI:** Who here can bake

 **ANA:** ill do it

 **ANA:** i need the practice anyway baking seems like a useful skill

 **REINHARDT:** it’ll come in handy when you’re a grandma

 **ANA:** ......

 **ANA:** ok i know youre teasing but for some reason the idea is really cute

 **REINHARDT:** [[dog_puppies_1945.png]]

 **LENA:** aww

 **REINHARDT:** whoops, wrong image

 **REINHARDT:** [[winkthumbsup.gif]]

 **REINHARDT:** ok i’m going to bed now, don’t stay up too late

 **LENA:** less aww but granny ana is a cute mental image nonetheless!!

 **ANA:** ahh fareehas so young though

 **LIAO:** shes 22

 **ANA:** shut up shes young

 **ANA:**  and every time i think about her dating someone or getting married i get protective lol

 **LENA:** im sure youll trust her when the right time comes ana :)

 **ANA:** i mean raising her around ow... shes exposed to a lot of bad stuff

 **ANA:** maybe i should stop beating gabe up just to prove a point or whatever

 **GABRIEL:** pleaes

 **ANA:** she really looks up to all of you

 **ANA:** but our jobs are so dangerous

 **ANA:** idk if i want her working this kind of job

 **LIAO:** well its natural of u to feel that way

 **LIAO:** but ur girls gotta find her own path

 **LENA:** especially coming from a family like yours... theres a lot that she might want to live up to!

 **ANA:** yeah idk

 **ANA:** she doesnt have to go through what i did

 **ANA:** i want her to be able to fight if she ever needs to defend herself and i want her to protect people in need

 **ANA:** but she doesnt have to join ow for me to be proud

 **JACK:** You’re a great example, ana, of course fareeha looks up to you.

 **LIAO:** ok i rly hate to kill the mood but this hd clip is destroyin me

 **ANA:** no please kill the mood it was getting a little too real there

 **LENA:** yeah!! i finished watching the whole thing and...

 **LENA:** @GABRIEL: i didnt know you felt so strongly about jack??

 **GABRIEL:** what.

 **LENA:** its in the video, love!

 **LENA:** you really poured your heart out earlier, didnt you?

 **GABRIEL:** what video.

 **GENJI:** I cant tell if hes joking or not

 **GABRIEL:** what.

 **GABRIEL:** video.

 **ANA:** i dont think hes joking

 **LENA:** did i say something bad?

 **GENJI:** Captain reyes no offense but how did you not notice all those people standing around you

 **GENJI:** And one of them holding up a phone

 **GABRIEL:** i was a bit distracted by anas boot going into my ribs.

 **GENJI:** Ok valid point

 **GABRIEL:** now someone tell me.

 **GABRIEL:** what video.

 **ANA:** you mean you didnt spill out your feelings on stream on purpose

 **ANA:** i was really hamming it up for the recording

 **ANA:** i thought you were aware

 **GABRIEL:** what are you talking about.

 **GENJI:** Oh no he wasnt kidding

 **LENA:** oops...

 **JESSE:** hey yall

 **GABRIEL:** you.

 **JESSE:** what about me

 **GENJI:** Now is not the time jesse

 **GABRIEL:** dios mio.

 **JESSE:** did i miss someth

 **JESSE:** oh no

 **GABRIEL:** im going to break your other arm off.

 **JESSE:** ARENT YOU SUPPOSED TO BE ASLEEP

 **GABRIEL:** jack woke me up.

 **GENJI:** You are not helping your implied argument here captain reyes

 **GABRIEL:** shut it.

 **GENJI:** Im just saying

 **ANGELA:** @GABRIEL: Go back to sleep!  >:(

 **GABRIEL:** no.

 **GABRIEL:** you dont tell me what to do.

 **ANGELA:** @ANA: There’s another weapon I would like you to try out.

 **ANA:** you have my interest

 **ANGELA:** It’s a sleep dart.

 **ANA:** my interest is piqued

 **ANGELA:** I’m coming over to your room right now.

 **GABRIEL:** shit.


	3. LOG 1: PART 3/3

**GENJI:** Wait no what do i do with these papers

 **ANGELA:** Just alphabetize them, please.

 **GENJI:** Hold on hold on

 **GENJI:** Does ‘n’ come first or does ‘m’ come first

 **ANGELA:** ‘M’ comes first.

 **LENA:** sing the alphabet song if you forget!

 **GENJI:** Lena youre a genius

 **LENA:** no problem love!! :)

 **JACK:** What’s in the video i want to know. :-(

 **LENA:** oh gosh

 **LENA:** well

 **MEI:** It’s oddly sweet when you ignore the parts Gabriel was being hit.

 **MEI:** Is he okay?

 **JACK:** Well, he’s awake. he’s hiding in the closet right now.

 **MEI:** That... does not sound good?

 **LIAO:** it sounds hilarious go ana go

 **JACK:** I think i can hear ana outside. he’s not really eager to see her again!

 **MEI:** After what happened to him, I don’t think we can really blame him.

 **LENA:** well according to what angie said shes just gonna try and sleep dart him?

 **LENA:** he shouldnt be awake now anyway!!

 **ANGELA:** He really shouldn't.

 **ANGELA:** But bestowed unto the sleeping maiden was true love’s kiss...

 **LIAO:** OMG EVEN UR IN

 **ANGELA:** It was too cute to resist.

 **ANGELA:** Besides, Jack had to steal something from my lab to wake Gabriel up.

 **ANGELA:** I’m actually livid.  <3

 **LIAO:** still jokin around tho

 **ANGELA:** It is better to channel that energy into jokes than violence.

 **LIAO:** r u calling ana out

 **LIAO:** @ her next time

 **ANGELA:** No, that kind of statement could be a jab at several people.

 **ANGELA:** Most of you, in fact.

 **GENJI:** Wow i wish my brother couldve seen that

 **LIAO:** lol yea imagine how #sick that #burn would b

 **GENJI:** :fire::fire::fire::fire::fire:

 **LIAO:** :joy::ok_hand::100:

 **GENJI:** Yes that is the exact expression i am making

 **LENA:** uh are you sure about that love?

 **GENJI:** I was being sarcastic

 **GENJI:** I cant make that face

 **LIAO:** i mean we wouldnt b able to see it anyway

 **GENJI:** You know i was considering asking to have my eye

 **GENJI:** Like you know the light thing over where my eyes are

 **LIAO:** yea what about

 **GENJI:** Ok so

 **GENJI:** Make it so i can do faces with that

 **LIAO:** theres not a ton of space there tho

 **GENJI:** No but

 **GENJI:** Maybe i could do emojis

 **GENJI:** Imagine (´◕ω◕`) but in neon green

 **LIAO:** how did u find that so quickly

 **GENJI:** Im a cyborg ninja dude and you question me on how i am able to find an emoticon quickly

 **LIAO:** touche

 **GÉRARD:** Liao please

 **LIAO:** i refuse to copy an accented ‘e’ just to shut u up

 **GÉRARD:** >:(

 **LIAO:** (´◕ω◕`)

 **GENJI:** Haha thats the spirit

 **GENJI:** Ill ask dr. ziegler when shes back

 **MEI:** ヽ(゜∇゜)ノ

 **MEI:** (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

 **MEI:** ♪(*ﾉ・ω・)ﾉ♫

 **GENJI:** Wow i need all of these but coming from my face

 **LIAO:** wait genji ive got one for ya too

 **LIAO:** (¬‿¬)

 **GENJI:** I hate it but i also love it

 **GENJI:** Thank you

 **LIAO:** not sure when ud use it tho

 **GABRIEL:** maybe if i was around.

 **GENJI:** Holy shit

 **LIAO:** holy shit

 **LENA:** holy shit!

 **ANGELA:** Holy shit.

 **MEI:** Holy shit!

 **ANA:** holy shit

 **JESSE:** holy cow

 **GENJI:** Captain reyes do not flirt with me please tend to your boyfriend

 **JACK:** No its okay!

 **LIAO:** im screamin

 **JACK:** Genjis cute!

 **LIAO:** JGHFLDKGHMDFLBDMFLKFLGM ,KL,KM

 **LIAO:** ARE U GUYS SEEIN THIS!!!!!!

 **JESSE:** i think a part of me ascended into gods arms reading that

 **LIAO:** SAME!!!

 **LIAO:** EVEN ANA REPLIED N SHES ON A SLEEP DART MISSION

 **ANA:** i mean did you see that... i had to

 **ANA:** plus jack keeps locking the door when i unlock it

 **LIAO:** 1st jack p much just confirmed he n gabe are dating

 **LIAO:** 2nd both jack n gabe confirmed they would tap that cyborg ass

 **LENA:** and who can blame them?

 **JESSE:** not me

 **JACK:** ...Not me.

 **LIAO:** not me lol

 **LIAO:** wait hold on wtf i was just passing the infirmary

 **LIAO:** @GENJI: what is makin that noise??

 **LENA:** what noise are you talking about love?

 **LIAO:** idk like some kinda steam hissing and a fan whirring

 **LIAO:** dont know enough about our medical tech to guess what it is

 **LIAO:** should i go check it out?

 **LENA:** yeah but be careful!

 **LIAO:** ok

 **JESSE:** wait i think i know what you mean

 **JESSE:** did he already go in

 **LENA:** i think so

 **JESSE:** its just genji

 **LIAO:** false alarm boiz it was just genji

 **JESSE:** see i told you

 **JESSE:** he does that when he overheats

 **LIAO:** y do u know that

 **JESSE:** how dont you?? dont you spar with him?

 **LIAO:** well yea but i play rly loud music when i work out so i dont hear that stuff

 **JESSE:** it happens every time he looks at gabriel

 **GENJI:** Hey

 **JESSE:** i aint lyin to the group chat for your benefit

 **GENJI:** Didnt you masturbate to a picture of my brother

 **LIAO:** OMG

 **ANGELA:** Oh my.

 **LENA:** this is getting interesting!!

 **MEI:** This is getting scandalous!

 **JESSE:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **GENJI:** Yeah thats what i thought cowboy

 **GABRIEL:** wow. i can hear jack and ana laughing. and im in the closet.

 **JACK:** I can’t help it!! that really just trumps gabes flirting with genji thing

 **ANA:** gotta agree there

 **JESSE:** I HAVE NEEDS

 **GENJI:** He almost killed me why are you like this

 **JESSE:** i like his face

 **GENJI:** Wow

 **GENJI:** Do you hear that everybody

 **GENJI:** Jesse likes his face

 **JESSE:** hey at least im not lustin after gabriel

 **LIAO:** u cant make that comment now ur gonna offend both jack AND genji

 **GENJI:** I am not offended

 **GENJI:** Clearly jesse has poorer taste than i do so i am not angry

 **JACK:** I’m a little offended. :-(

 **GENJI:** Look what youve done cowboy

 **JESSE:** aw shucks im sorry jack

 **GABRIEL:** im a little offended.

 **JESSE:** not sorry anymore

 **JESSE:** anyway @GENJI: is he single

 **GENJI:** Why do you assume i stay in contact with a person who tried to kill me

 **JESSE:** is that a yes

 **GENJI:** I dont know jesse he wont answer my emails or messages or texts or snaps or any of the posts ive tagged him in

 **JESSE:** can i get his handle or number or anything

 **GENJI:** No jesse

 **JESSE:** please

 **GENJI:** Jesse

 **JESSE:** ill never tease you about your weird crush on gabriel

 **GENJI:** Sigh

 **GENJI:** Im going to try meeting up with him one day but i do not foresee it being in the near future

 **GENJI:** Thats all i can promise

 **JESSE:** good enough

 **JESSE:** but not good enough for me to shut up about your weird crush on gabriel

 **GENJI:** (●︿●✿)

 **LIAO:** wow i feel so sorry for the people who r asleep rn

 **LIAO:** theyre rly missing out

 **GENJI:** If only winston was here to moderate the chat

 **LENA:** maybe we should ask him to mod someone else when hes back?

 **LENA:** then someone else could keep an eye on things

 **JESSE:** do you really think any of us would make a good mod

 **JESSE:** even if we did do you think wed do anything

 **LENA:** ...no not really

 **JACK:** @ANA: I’ll take care of him!! please go he won’t come out :-(

 **ANA:** i cant leave

 **ANA:** doctors orders

 **ANGELA:** I don’t trust you two to let Gabriel sleep. Let Ana dart him then report back to me with the results.

 **ANA:** yea we gotta test this sooner or later what better time than now lol

 **GABRIEL:** i can think of a few.

 **ANGELA:** You’ll be fine, Gabriel!

 **GABRIEL:** i dont sleep this early.

 **ANGELA:** I’m overriding your room’s lock right now.

 **GABRIEL:** shit.

 **JACK:** :-(

 **JACK:** Gabe, i’m sorry...

 **GABRIEL:** its ok. put me on the bed or something.

 **JACK:** But i sleep there

 **GABRIEL:** oh my god. everyone knows weve slept together. no use lying about it anymore.

 **GABRIEL:** also.

 **GABRIEL:** were in MY room.

 **GENJI:** To be fair a lot of us knew anyway

 **GENJI:** But watching you two try and keep it a secret was cute

 **LIAO:** ^^^

 **JESSE:** wow

 **JESSE:** well im goin to bed gnight yall

 **LIAO:** same im boutta pass out bye boiz

 **LENA:** night loves!

 **MEI:** I have to go to bed soon, too. It was nice talking to everyone!

 **ANA:** wow sleep darting gabe was fun i wanna do that again

 **JACK:** Did you have to put him on top of me?

 **ANA:** yea

 **JACK:** I guess i’m going to bed, too, then.

 **ANA:** nighty night

 **GENJI:** I still have all these papers

 **GENJI:** You people are the worst leaving me

 **ANGELA:** Haha I should help.

 **GENJI:** Dr. ziegler you know i dont mind giving you a hand or two but there really is so much paperwork here

 **GENJI:** How do you deal with this

 **ANGELA:** It comes with the job.

 **GENJI:** You mean you have to take care of us and do your research and prototypes and everything but at the end of the day you still come back to all this paperwork

 **ANGELA:** Yes.

 **GENJI:** Wow i am suddenly angry at how useless everyone else is in comparison

 **GENJI:** This was quite the all-consuming shame

 **ANGELA:** More than inadvertently confessing to Gabriel in a group chat?

 **GENJI:** Well

 **GENJI:** Somehow yes

 **GENJI:** I appreciate your work

 **ANGELA:** Thank you, Genji. We should get some rest, too.

 **GENJI:** Yes we should goodnight dr. ziegler

 **ANGELA:** Good night.

 **ANA:** WHO UP CLICC LIKE

 **GÉRARD:** Salut!

 **ANA:** BYE

 **GÉRARD:** :(


	4. LOG 2: PART 1/1

**\-- OVERWATCH CHAT --**  

 **WINSTON:** Good morning everyone!

 **WINSTON:** I see you were all putting the chat to use last night.

 **LIAO:** we were mostly just yellin at each other

 **WINSTON:** Yes, I suppose that was the most likely outcome anyway.

 **WINSTON:** @EVERYONE: Remember to use this chat client for all chats from now on, particularly if they contain sensitive information in relation to Overwatch or your subdivision (I’m looking at you, Blackwatch). I would recommend using it for your casual conversations as well, whenever possible, to build the habit.

 **JESSE:** what if we dont have wifi or data

 **WINSTON:** Jesse, we pay for your cellphone plan. You should have data.

 **JESSE:** wait yall pay for that for me

 **JESSE:** why the fuck dont i have data

 **GABRIEL:** did you turn it on.

 **JESSE:** i dont turn data on its expensive i always go over the limit

 **GABRIEL:** thats your fault.

 **GENJI:** Yes jesse you really should not download hd holograms when youre on data

 **JESSE:** i know what im about son

 **GENJI:** What you mean like my brother

 **JESSE:** are you ever gonna get over that it was just one time that i

 **JESSE:** yknow

 **JESSE:** diddled my trouser snake to him

 **GENJI:** Was it really

 **JESSE:** well

 **GENJI:** Nevermind i do not want to know

 **WINSTON:** I believe it was @LENA who suggested to give another agent administrator privileges. I’ll do that now.

 **LENA:** yeah! you cant always be watching over us haha

 **GENJI:** I dont believe having another moderator would make this chat any better

**\-- WINSTON made ANGELA a MODERATOR. --**

**JESSE:** damn it winston

 **JESSE:** shes just gonna mod genji

**\-- ANGELA made GENJI a MODERATOR. --**

**JESSE:** look what youve done

 **GENJI:** I take back what i said this chat is already better

 **ANGELA:** I believe Genji can help us moderate the chat. Winston and myself are busier, after all.

 **GENJI:** Was that an insult

 **ANGELA:** No.

 **ANGELA:** Maybe a little.

 **ANGELA:** No!

 **GENJI:** Wow

 **JESSE:** why cant i be a mod

 **WINSTON:** You’ll just ban the first person to disagree with you.

 **JESSE:** thats the best part of having mod powers though

 **WINSTON:** Then I’m not making you a moderator.

 **JESSE:** dang it

 **GENJI:** Haha

 **GENJI:** Shouldnt commander morrison and captain reyes be the mods though

 **ANGELA:** Technically, yes.

 **WINSTON:** But to be practical, no.

 **GABRIEL:** why not.

 **WINSTON:** You would also ban anyone to disagree with you.

 **GABRIEL:** point taken.

 **WINSTON:** Both of them are busy as well. Of course we all have work to do, it’s just that we have to take into account how much work before we add little responsibilities like this chat.

 **JESSE:** i still think i should be modded

 **GENJI:** I dont

 **LIAO:** most of us would make bad mods lol

 **LIAO:** esp ana n me

 **ANA:** seriously if youre gonna bring me up at least have the decency to @ me

 **LIAO:** oop

 **LIAO:** sorry abt that

 **LIAO:** @ANA

 **ANA:** anyway wheres jack

 **GABRIEL:** hes on a mission.

 **ANA:** a mission... what

 **ANA:** its not until next month

 **JESSE:** coffee run?

 **ANA:** we have coffee in base

 **GABRIEL:** wasnt that one of your favourite things about overwatch.

 **GABRIEL:** you wouldnt shut up about it for a week after you got here.

 **JESSE:** oh yeah

 **JESSE:** coffee back around route 66 tasted like dirt

 **JESSE:** the coffee heres better but only in comparison

 **JESSE:** still not as good as the cookies in base though

 **GENJI:** Is it really

 **JESSE:** yeah havent you had the chance to try them yet?

 **JESSE:** the sugar cookies are the best

 **GENJI:** Are you serious

 **JESSE:** oh

 **JESSE:** OH

 **JESSE:** jesus im so sorry

 **GENJI:** Im impressed

 **GENJI:** Its only 9 am and youve already managed to say something stupider than yesterdays entire chat log

 **JESSE:** oh cmon it was an honest mistake

 **GENJI:** Im not sure how you forget a persons inability to eat

 **JESSE:** i am not a smart man

 **GENJI:** You can say that again

 **GENJI:** Oh wait let me do it for you

**\-- GENJI pinned a message: [JESSE: i am not a smart man] --**

**JESSE:** damn

 **GENJI:** This is wonderful

 **GENJI:** Not the part where i cant eat regular food though

 **LIAO:** haha dont let the power get to your head buddy

 **GENJI:** Do not tell me what to do

 **JESSE:** @WINSTON: stop him before hes drunk on his newfound power

 **JESSE:** dammit whered he go

**GENJI:** 笑笑笑笑笑

**JESSE:** what does that mean

 **GENJI:** Laughter

 **LIAO:** oh is that what were doing now

 **LIAO:** @MEI: get in here

 **MEI:** Yes?

 **LIAO:** its time the floodgates have opened

 **MEI:** What do you mean?

 **LIAO:** its time for chinese internet slang

 **LIAO:** even though i have no idea how to use it

 **LIAO:** im just gonna google it lol

 **JESSE:** aw cmon

 **JESSE:** i dont wanna look up all your weird foreign phrases

 **GABRIEL:** @JESSE: consider spanish.

 **JESSE:** this is why youre the mentor

 **JESSE:** gg

 **GABRIEL:** vales verga.

 **LIAO:** it wasnt that good a game

 **JESSE:** it doesnt stand for good game its laughter

 **JESSE:** also @GABRIEL: why cant we get along

 **GABRIEL:** is that an actual question.

 **GENJI:** 8888

 **JESSE:** ok now what does THAT mean

 **GENJI:** Applause

 **GENJI:** Ggrks

 **JESSE:** bless you

 **GENJI:** I wasnt sneezing i was telling you to google it yourself if you want to know

 **GENJI:** Bastard

 **JESSE:** that wasnt even in japanese

 **GENJI:** You were meant to understand it

 **JESSE:** ok rude

 **GABRIEL:** haha.

 **JESSE:** who uses numbers in chats anymore do people seriously still do that

 **MEI:** 4242

 **JESSE:** mei

 **MEI:** It means yes!

 **JESSE:** oh

 **JESSE:** ok how was i supposed to know that

 **LIAO:** u werent

 **LIAO:** that was the point

 **JESSE:** point taken

 **ANA:** no seriously @GABRIEL whered jack go

 **GABRIEL:** why do you ask.

 **ANA:** hes like... my boss and youre wondering why i ask where he is

 **ANA:** even i gotta do paperwork reyes

 **GABRIEL:** like i said.

 **GABRIEL:** hes on a mission.

 **ANA:** ugh for what

 **GABRIEL:** thats classified.

 **GENJI:** Is he just in your room right now

 **GABRIEL:** not at the moment. no.

 **GENJI:** I want to accuse you of lying but my lie detector did not go off

 **JESSE:** you have a lie detector??

 **GENJI:** 笑笑笑笑笑

 **GENJI:** No

 **JESSE:** oh

 **JESSE:** well it would be cool

 **GENJI:** I agree it would be cool

 **ANA:** @GABRIEL: look can you just tell me where jack went

 **ANA:** ill be a lot more patient waiting if you do

 **GABRIEL:** is that a threat.

 **GABRIEL:** i can mute the chat.

 **ANA:** i have you on ten different social media accounts

 **ANA:** plus your number

 **ANA:** so just tell me

 **GABRIEL:** he told me not to tell anyone.

 **GABRIEL:** why cant you respect that.

 **ANA:** because i have papers i want to get out of the way

 **GABRIEL:** ask someone else.

 **ANA:** why do you have to make this so difficult

 **GABRIEL:** im not the one being difficult.

 **GABRIEL:** he told me not to tell anyone. so im not.

 **GENJI:** Your loyalty is admirable in the face of the delivered threats

 **GABRIEL:** gracias gatito.

 **GENJI:** Oh

 **GENJI:** Oh no

 **JESSE:** you broke him

 **GENJI:** Oh no i kind of like this

 **JESSE:** goddammit genji

 **JESSE:** resist his charms and ill give you the rest of my alfajores

 **GENJI:** What is that

 **JESSE:** oh its a food item and its

 **JESSE:** wait

 **GENJI:** Wow

 **JESSE:** im so sorry

 **JESSE:** i didnt

 **JESSE:** that wasnt on purpose

 **GENJI:** Its a good thing i already pinned your earlier message about not being a smart man

 **GENJI:** I wish i could pin it twice

 **JESSE:** my point about resisting gabriels charms still stands

 **GENJI:** @GABRIEL: Would you like to produce a counter offer to jesses disaster

 **JESSE:** rude

 **GABRIEL:** @GENJI: why dont you come to my room and find out yourself.

 **GENJI:** This is a superior counter offer already

 **JESSE:** gabriel please

 **GABRIEL:** voy a follar ese buen culo que tienes hasta que seas un desastre.

 **GENJI:** I have no idea what that means hold on i have to translate it

 **JESSE:** adajfldsgjdsldsvbs

 **GABRIEL:** te voy hacer tan engreído esta noche debajo de mi.

 **JESSE:** dont take my only ally in this cold dark world

 **JESSE:** you filthy filthy man

 **GABRIEL:** estoy seguro de que no podrás caminar mañana.

 **JESSE:** i cant fend for myself

 **GENJI:** You will have to learn in my absence

 **GENJI:** Im sleeping with your  sensei

 **GENJI:** Sorry

 **JESSE:** i cant believe this

 **ANA:** does anyone know where gerard went??

 **ANA:** first jack now hes out too

 **ANA:** its like everyone has work to do

 **JESSE:** aint that usually the case

 **ANA:** yes but its inconvenient right now

 **ANA:** @GÉRARD: you there??

 **ANA:** @GÉRARD: touche

 **ANA:** touche touche touche touche touche

 **ANA:** quebec QUEBEC QUEBEC

 **LIAO:** well if that doesnt work he must be busy

 **LIAO:** better luck next time

 **LENA:** what do you think hes working on?

 **GABRIEL:** talon.

 **ANA:** definitely talon

 **LIAO:** its been talon for a while now

 **GENJI:** Is there another possibility

 **JESSE:** he wont shut up about talon

 **JESSE:** its always talon this and talon that

 **JESSE:** ‘oh talon tried to kidnap me again’

 **JESSE:** ‘talon keeps trying to kill me’

 **JESSE:** we get it

 **LIAO:** ur worried about him rnt u

 **JESSE:** well

 **JESSE:** yeah

 **JESSE:** what kinda person did yall think i was

 **GENJI:** The kind to make fun of my inability to eat

 **JESSE:** that was an accident!

 **GENJI:** It happened twice in the past hour

 **JESSE:** both times were accidents

 **WINSTON:** Do you guys think we should use our call signs instead of our names, in case anyone does hack in?

 **JESSE:** uh a lot of our call signs ARE our names

 **WINSTON:** Noted.

 **WINSTON:** So is that a yes or a no?

 **LENA:** i like my call sign lets change it

 **ANGELA:** Seconded.

 **GENJI:** Shouldnt we be able to change our names anyway

 **WINSTON:** I don’t want people abusing the feature.

 **GENJI:** So what youre saying is i cant be ‘Green Cyborg Ninja Dude’

 **WINSTON:** That is correct.

 **GENJI:** くそー

 **GENJI:** Mod powers and i cant even change my name

 **WINSTON:** You can change your icon if you want. I’m going to change the names now.

 **GENJI:** What can i do with a size constraint of 40x40 pixels

 **JESSE:** youd be surprised

 **GENJI:** What is that

 **JESSE:** whats what?

 **GENJI:** Your icon

 **GENJI:** You just changed it what is that

 **JESSE:** oh nothin much

 **JESSE:** just a beetle penis

 **GENJI:** Why

 **JESSE:** didnt you read what winston said

 **JESSE:** we can change our icons

 **GENJI:** But why did you pick that

 **JESSE:** i thought the first reaction id get would be funny

 **JESSE:** turns out i was right

 **LENA:** did you... have that on hand?

 **JESSE:** naw i looked it up just now

 **LIAO:** im lauighin so hard omfg jess!!!!!

 **WINSTON:** Names have been changed.

 **GENJI:** Cool

 **ANA:** cool

 **LIAO:** cool

 **MEI:** Cool?

 **TORBJÖRN:** Cool.

 **GÉRARD:** bien

 **REINHARDT:** cool.

 **WINSTON:** This might come in handy one day, we’ll see.

 **MCCREE:** lemme guess i cant really join in the ‘cool’ joke cause my first name aint my call sign

 **GENJI:** Well it just would not be the same would it

 **GENJI:** Jesse

 **REINHARDT:** unless you want to change your call sign to jesse?

 **MCCREE:** but ‘mccree’ sounds so much cooler

 **GENJI:** Fljk

 **GENJI:** I laughed so hard i dropped my phone

 **MEI:** Was that... a joke? About sounding cool?

 **LIAO:** white people are a joke mei

 **MEI:** Point taken!

 **MCCREE:** hey im only half white

 **ANA:** and half disappointment

 **MCCREE:** im mixed ok why cant yall be respectful of that

 **ANA:** im sorry jesse

 **ANA:** ill make fun of you for other things though

 **MCCREE:** thanks ana

 **MCCREE:** yall dont really think im that lame though??

 **GABRIEL:** wow.

 **ANA:** im not gonna say youre cool

 **LIAO:** jesse i love u but uh

 **LIAO:** ur not cool

 **MCCREE:** havent yall seen my belt buckle

 **GABRIEL:** here we go.

 **MCCREE:** im not just cool ok

 **GABRIEL:** here it comes.

 **MCCREE:** im a BADASS MOTHERFUCKER

 **GENJI:** You are like a puppy who rolled in mud and walked into the clean house

 **GENJI:** Then shook its fur and got mud everywhere

 **ANA:** which is to say a disappointment

 **MCCREE:** :(

 **GABRIEL:** just wow.

 **MCCREE:** lemme guess youre gonna say somethin nice and encouraging

 **GABRIEL:** i wasnt planning to.

 **ANA:** jesse we love you very much

 **GABRIEL:** why are you typing ‘we’.

 **ANA:** but that doesnt mean we think youre cool

 **ANA:** is anyone here cool

 **LIAO:** idk i think genjis kinda cool

 **GENJI:** Thank you

 **LIAO:** np :v::kissing_smiling_eyes:

 **ANA:** no not him

 **ANA:** im the only one whos cool around here

 **GENJI:** I cannot argue with that

 **GENJI:** Even after liaos compliment

 **LIAO:** yea anas the coolest cat we got

 **LIAO:** luv u gurl

 **ANA:** cool

 **GENJI:** Cool

 **MCCREE:** oh hell no we aint doin that again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ thank you to sekiis and deathbloodssomfort666 for gabe’s filthy lines. the original translation prompt was 'i'm going to fuck that nice ass of yours until you're a purring mess beneath me. i'll make sure you won't be able to walk tomorrow'.
> 
> genreaper is a rare pair so yeah im gonna write it into my self indulgent shitpost fanfiction


	5. LOG 3: @GENJI & @MCCREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kind of (accidentally?) turned this into some weird thing about genjis sex abilities/life so you can skip this chapter. its obscene. //

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @GENJI & @MCCREE --**

**MCCREE:** so hows it like

 **MCCREE:** fuckin my MENTOR

 **GENJI:** Are you upset

 **MCCREE:** no

 **GENJI:** You seem upset

 **GENJI:** Are you

 **GENJI:** Jealous

 **MCCREE:** god no

 **MCCREE:** theres a lotta other stuff i dont wanna think about especially after finding out about ana a few weeks ago

 **MCCREE:** id rather just talk about somethin thats not so heavy for once

 **GENJI:** Does this not strike you as a rather personal topic though

 **MCCREE:** aw cmon genji were friends aint we

 **GENJI:** Well yes

 **GENJI:** That does not mean i am eager to discuss my sex life with you

 **MCCREE:** bullshit

 **MCCREE:** scroll up every dm ive gotten from you starts with ‘Hey let me tell you about that one time i had sex with someone’

 **GENJI:** While this is accurate

 **GENJI:** I am usually drunk

 **MCCREE:** can you remind me how the hell you get drunk??

 **MCCREE:** you dont even have half your organs

 **MCCREE:** you dont have a BLOODSTREAM isnt that something you need to get drunk?

 **GENJI:** Dr. ziegler has been very kind to me

 **MCCREE:** speaking of you gettin drunk without blood

 **MCCREE:** how do you uh

 **GENJI:** I uh

 **MCCREE:** how do you have sex??

 **GENJI:** Oh boy

 **MCCREE:** hey its an honest question!

 **MCCREE:** sorry if im prying but i gotta say im curious

 **GENJI:** No its fine

 **GENJI:** You do have a point i have made something out of telling you all about my sexual experiences and i do not mean for it to bring you discomfort

 **MCCREE:** trust me i aint mind

 **MCCREE:** youve got some good stories in your arsenal

 **GENJI:** I certainly do

 **GENJI:** Anyway it was dr. ziegler who wanted me to be able to

 **GENJI:** You know

 **MCCREE:** why cant you just say fuck

 **GENJI:** Something about the word strikes me as particularly vulgar

 **MCCREE:** dont you swear in japanese?

 **GENJI:** Yes of course especially with my brother though of course im worse

 **MCCREE:** of course

 **GENJI:** But in english its different

 **GENJI:** Im not sure how to explain it

 **MCCREE:** dont fear swear words genji

 **GENJI:** Fine

 **GENJI:** I dont really care anyway

 **GENJI:** It was dr. ziegler who wanted me to be able to fuck

 **GENJI:** There i said it

 **MCCREE:** wait why her

 **GENJI:** I cannot say

 **GENJI:** Scientists are certainly interesting people

 **MCCREE:** alright yeah... fair point

 **GENJI:** I dont think she made it happen because she thought i definitely needed to have sex

 **GENJI:** I think she encouraged it because she was curious

 **MCCREE:** about cyborg sex?

 **GENJI:** Yes basically

 **GENJI:** It sounds odd now that i think about it and to say this

 **GENJI:** Well it actually got rather thought provoking at times

 **MCCREE:** how?? yknow this stuffs all beyond me

 **GENJI:** It started with her deciding what to give me

 **MCCREE:** oh so you can only get fucked or fuck

 **GENJI:** No that is not what i am saying at all

 **GENJI:** I can do both

 **MCCREE:** i aint even gonna ask for the details there hoo boy

 **GENJI:** She thought it would be fun to give me a dick

 **GENJI:** And whatever is the casual and colloquial english term for the other genitalia

 **MCCREE:** fghjdlhffgjdlh

 **GENJI:** But then she got into technical details

 **GENJI:** And i was not opposed to any of this

 **GENJI:** I never felt she was violating my privacy

 **MCCREE:** did things happen... that mightve been weird for others to see??

 **GENJI:** Oh yes all the time

 **GENJI:** It was very interesting for her to record information about my stamina and other points being a cyborg

 **GENJI:** Its different from doing the same things as a

 **GENJI:** Non cyborg

 **MCCREE:** what youre sayin is we should all be sex bots

 **GENJI:** Well its not like you have to be a cyborg to enjoy yourself jesse

 **GENJI:** Dr. ziegler certainly enjoyed herself

 **MCCREE:** hold on hold on HOLD ON

 **MCCREE:** YOU HAD SEX WITH ANGIE???

 **GENJI:** Was

 **GENJI:** Was this not apparent

 **MCCREE:** no genji it was not

 **GENJI:** What did you think was happening that she was recording

 **MCCREE:** shit i dont know

 **MCCREE:** observations through a window while you got fucked by some sex machine

 **GENJI:** No jesse

 **GENJI:** I am the sex machine

 **MCCREE:** how is this the first time im hearin of this

 **GENJI:** Its not like we were telling everyone we had sex

 **GENJI:** It was for science

 **MCCREE:** ok yeah im sure angela wanted to have sex with you ‘just for science’

 **GENJI:** It was also because i am great at sex

 **GENJI:** We had fun but that doesnt mean it meant anything romantic

 **MCCREE:** and this is the first im hearin of it

 **GENJI:** I cannot say my first thought after was ‘i should tell jesse all about the experience’

 **MCCREE:** does gabriel know?

 **GENJI:** Yes hes made some comments about me being the overwatch bicycle

 **MCCREE:** how many... how many people have you slept with

 **GENJI:** What you mean in overwatch or in total

 **MCCREE:** in ov

 **MCCREE:** do you keep track of all the people youve had sex with??

 **GENJI:** I could name

 **GENJI:** Ah

 **GENJI:** Well i could give you a range

 **MCCREE:** alright just overwatch then

 **GENJI:** Dr. ziegler for starters

 **GENJI:** Captain reyes and commander morrison though captain reyes likes to be with us separately and commander morrison doesnt mind

 **GENJI:** Liao once but we were both drinking so im not sure if that counts

 **MCCREE:** oh my lord

 **GENJI:** Lena also once but we were both very very drunk

 **MCCREE:** she does prefer girls

 **GENJI:** Oh also

 **GENJI:** Most of blackwatch

 **MCCREE:** wait WHAT

 **GENJI:** Captain reyes is into some interesting things

 **MCCREE:** why wasnt i invited what the hell

 **GENJI:** Jesse if you wanted to have sex with me all you had to do was ask

 **MCCREE:** aint it weird cause im into your brother

 **GENJI:** You have no idea how many of my brothers admirers i fucked because i knew he was not interested in them and never would be

 **MCCREE:** whys that

 **GENJI:** Hanzo is picky

 **MCCREE:** dammit

 **GENJI:** Im not saying you dont have a chance with him

 **GENJI:** He mightve mellowed out over the past few years and

 **GENJI:** Lowered his standards

 **MCCREE:** youghta tell me about him sometime

 **GENJI:** I will

 **GENJI:** For some reason that even i cannot say what it is

 **GENJI:** I think you two would be good for each other

 **MCCREE:** really?

 **GENJI:** Yes that was not a joke

 **GENJI:** Its like there are many loud voices in my head shouting at me telling me you two are destined to be together

 **GENJI:** Both of you are a mess

 **GENJI:** Also im a cyborg ninja i cannot be wrong im too cool

 **MCCREE:** aw shucks thanks

 **MCCREE:** i think

 **GENJI:** So are you still interested in sleeping together

 **MCCREE:** oh hell yeah

 **MCCREE:** it could be fun and aint that what friends do

 **GENJI:** Um

 **GENJI:** Not necessarily

 **MCCREE:** well whenever yaint takin it from gabriel come look for me

 **GENJI:** He has mentioned that situation before

 **MCCREE:** he what now

 **GENJI:** It went something like

 **GENJI:** Hmm

 **GENJI:** Ok i think he said something about stealing one of those collars

 **GENJI:** You know the ones that light in the dark

 **MCCREE:** ???

 **GENJI:** The shock collars

 **MCCREE:** well now

 **GENJI:** And there would be handcuffs involved

 **GENJI:** He would hold me back by the leash and you would be on the bed

 **GENJI:** He said he would make you beg

 **GENJI:** If you did a good job he would allow me to service you

 **MCCREE:** i cant believe gabriel would put this much thought into a threesome scenario

 **MCCREE:** thats real specific

 **GENJI:** This was after a rather rough session so he said a lot of things

 **GENJI:** He also said he was certain you would love that scenario

 **MCCREE:** goddammit gabriel

 **MCCREE:** i wont lie he aint wrong

 **MCCREE:** but it really grinds my gears he knows me that well without KNOWIN me

 **GENJI:** He is good at knowing people i think thats one of his jobs

 **MCCREE:** what else did he say

 **GENJI:** Um

 **GENJI:** He said he liked me a lot but in spanish

 **GENJI:** I dont think he anticipated id understand but i did i have a few languages downloaded

 **MCCREE:** aww shit thats actually real sweet

 **MCCREE:** didnt think mean ol gabriel had it in him to care this much about others

 **MCCREE:** first jack now you too

 **GENJI:** Maybe he said it just because i compliment him a lot

 **MCCREE:** he dont respond well to flattery

 **GENJI:** I believe it had to do with his pride though

 **GENJI:** Compliments in the bedroom are different

 **GENJI:** Especially when you are being told your girth is unmatched

 **MCCREE:** oh god the mental image

 **GENJI:** Well i did not lie i have never been with anyone as well equipped

 **MCCREE:** genji youre killing me here

 **GENJI:** Listen jesse this is what you wanted is it not

 **GENJI:** A weird sex conversation

 **GENJI:** I have slept with many people

 **GENJI:** And your sensei is the most impressive

 **MCCREE:** i got way too curious

 **MCCREE:** im not sure if i wanted to know that about gabriels dick size

 **GENJI:** Today you have learned something new

 **MCCREE:** thanks genji

 **GENJI:** Youre welcome

 **GENJI:** Now open your door i have a surprise

 **GENJI:** Not to ruin the surprise but i am the surprise

 **MCCREE:** dammit genji you ruined the surprise

 **GENJI:** Oops

 **GENJI:** Not to prolong the ruining of the surprise but captain reyes is also the surprise

 **MCCREE:** WHAT

 **GENJI:** hola cabrón.

 **MCCREE:** WHAT!

 **GENJI:** open the door.

 **MCCREE:** FUCK YOU

 **MCCREE:** WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

 **GENJI:** genji was in my room. i was literally petting his head for your whole conversation. you should listen to him purr.

 **GENJI:** it was his idea to come over here. i brought the collar leash and handcuffs.

 **MCCREE:** DAMMIT

 **MCCREE:** DAMN YOU

 **MCCREE:** DAMMIT IM REALLY TURNED ON

 **MCCREE:** FUCK

 **MCCREE:** ...FINE.

 **GENJI:** buen chico.

 **MCCREE:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


	6. LOG 4: PART 1/1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time passes. //

**\-- LOSER CHAT --**

**MCCREE:** i miss ana

 **TRACER:** yeah :(

 **MORRISON:** We all do. :-(

 **GENJI:** Again with the nose emote

 **MORRISON:** She always hated them, didn’t she? every time i used one, she’d yell at me for it.

 **GENJI:** Yes in captain amaris absence i am obligated to hate them twice as much for her

 **LIAO:** nobody change the chat title

 **LIAO:** that was her edit and we gotta keep it like that forever

 **MERCY:** She stole my phone to change it, and I remember she was so proud of herself afterwards.

 **REINHARDT:** she even unbanned airhorn bot for a second.

 **REINHARDT:** just to !airhorn once.

 **MCCREE:** are yall not gonna be serious about this or

 **GENJI:** It would be emotionally taxing jesse

 **GENJI:** I do not think anyone here wants to be serious for too long

 **MCCREE:** yeah point taken

 **MCCREE:** if gerard was here hed have something to say

 **MERCY:** Something poignant. Poetic, even.

 **LIAO:** hed also correct u for typin his name w/o the accented ‘e’

 **MCCREE:** haha he really hated how we did that on purpose

 **LIAO:** it was one of his more charming features

 **REINHARDT:** i think his wife would disagree there

 **TRACER:** oh definitely!!

 **TRACER:** she thought plenty of things about him were charming

 **MCCREE:** uh

 **MCCREE:** aint she the one who killed him

 **MCCREE:** i know it was only a month ago but im pretty sure thats something that happened??

 **LIAO:** no yea it was amy

 **MCCREE:** ana was taken out by a sharpshooter wasnt she?

 **TRACER:** :/

 **MCCREE:** uh

 **MCCREE:** @MORRISON

 **MORRISON:** I don’t really want to talk about it. :-(

 **MCCREE:** sorry pardner

 **MCCREE:** this chats gonna die without them aint it

 **LIAO:** yea its just not the same

 **LIAO:** ana was rly the life of this chat imo

 **GENJI:** Even gerard added the occasional amusing comment

 **TRACER:** they were all so french

 **LIAO:** ppl dyin left nd right round here... lol hard to keep our spirits up enough to crack jokes nd shit

 **GENJI:** Time heals all wounds

 **GENJI:** Time and top of the line technology

 **REYES:** ana wouldve loved that joke.

 **GENJI:** Thank you captain reyes

 **MCCREE:** dammit gabriel say somethin serious

 **REYES:** when do i ever do that.

 **MCCREE:** wow sarcasm

 **MCCREE:** so funny

 **LIAO:** remember when ana beat him up

 **MCCREE:** i still have a video of that

 **TRACER:** wow youve held onto it for this long??

 **GENJI:** Would it be irreverent to post it now

 **REYES:** not particularly. but were not up for tonight if you do.

 **GENJI:** I will not post the video

 **GENJI:** Someone with nothing to lose post it

 **GENJI:** @MCCREE

 **MCCREE:** genji are you just forgettin the part where gabriel is my superior officer or what

 **GENJI:** No i did not forget

 **GENJI:** But what do you have to lose

 **MCCREE:** a lot????

 **LIAO:** thats quitter talk

 **LIAO:** anyway i aint scared of gabe

 **LIAO:** [[gabriel gets beat up HD VERSION.avi]]

 **REYES:** i will beat you up.

 **LIAO:** jokes on u thats what ana wouldve wanted

 **LIAO:** i can imagine rn in the chat itd look somethin like

 **LIAO:** AMARI: lol fight fight fight

 **LIAO:** AMARI: loser vs loser

 **LIAO:** then someoned be all 'what would fareeha say if ur encouraging this fight' nd shed stop

 **REYES:** wow.

 **REYES:** im going to hold onto my threat. for now. but only because that was very accurate.

 **LIAO:** shes w/ us in spirit...

 **MCCREE:** i can picture it

 **MCCREE:**  right when you two were goin at it shed knock you both out with those sleep darts she got attached to

 **MCCREE:** then shed take the crown

 **REYES:** being hit with those is. not fun.

 **LIAO:** LOL when she darted u at the table it was the best

 **REYES:** no it wasnt.

 **LIAO:** yea well not for u obvs

 **LIAO:** gerard was nice that one time he removed ur face from ur soup bowl

 **REINHARDT:** remember when she said the day jack and gabe broke up would be the day all hell broke loose.

 **REYES:** stop talking.

 **REINHARDT:** i’m not talking

 **GENJI:** I remember that quite vividly

 **GENJI:** She seemed very sure about that statement

 **LIAO:** yea it was... actually kinda scary

 **TRACER:** she told us like she was telling us a fortune? or a prophecy??

 **LIAO:** haha its a good thing thats not happenin anytime soon right boiz

 **LIAO:** uh

 **LIAO:** boiz??

 **MORRISON:** :-/

 **REYES:** ...

 **LIAO:** welp were all fucked nice knowin yall

 **SOMBRA:** lol


	7. LOG 5: DRAGONS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is centered around [the dragons short](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJ09xdxzIJQ) so i recommend watching it before reading this. i make a LOT of shitposts about the dragons short because ive rewatched it like 30 times
> 
> also watch [my genji video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Oet2pht_JY) for a laugh at my mlg ow prowess //

**GENJI:** こn

 **GENJI:** Is anyone still here

 **GENJI:** Im going to stream my visit to the shimada castle

 **GENJI:** While i am at it i might as well change the title of this chat because i finally have a topic ana would be proud to see it changed for

**\-- GENJI renamed group from LOSER CHAT to SUB TO GENJI ON TWITCH.TV + WATCH HIM BEAT UP HIS BROTHER HANZO --**

**GENJI:** Hm maybe i should add ‘chat’ to the end to clarify

**\-- GENJI renamed group from SUB TO GENJI ON TWITCH.TV + WATCH HIM BEAT UP HIS BROTHER HANZO to SUB TO GENJI ON TWITCH.TV + WATCH HIM BEAT UP HIS BROTHER HANZO CHAT --**

**GENJI:** Ok looks good

 **MCCREE:** howdy

 **MCCREE:** whoa almost forgot this group existed

 **GENJI:** How have you been jesse

 **MCCREE:** think im gonna catch a train

 **GENJI:** Arent you a wanted criminal or something

 **GENJI:** I am not good at keeping up with the news but if i remember correctly

 **GENJI:** Well i have seen your face around

 **MCCREE:** you know how it is

 **GENJI:** I have not been murdering people jesse

 **GENJI:** So no

 **GENJI:** I do not know how it is

 **MCCREE:** this is about your brother though aint it

 **GENJI:** Yes

 **MCCREE:** remember way back

 **GENJI:** Unfortunately

 **GENJI:** Yes

 **GENJI:** I have a lot of memory

 **MCCREE:** well you did make me a promise

 **GENJI:** I did not think you would bring that up now

 **GENJI:** But like i said i will be streaming the visit so you can watch

 **TRACER:** hey loves!!

 **TRACER:** all right?

 **GENJI:** I am doing fine im in hanamura

 **TRACER:** im in england and ill watch the stream!

 **TRACER:** how about you jess?

 **MCCREE:** im in the states

 **MCCREE:** ive got time to sit and chat before i catch the next train

 **TRACER:** arent you a wanted criminal or something?

 **MCCREE:** irrelevant

 **TRACER:** if you ask me that sounds plenty relevant!

 **MCCREE:** irrelevant

 **GENJI:** Well anyway i planted some cameras around last night he should be here after nightfall

 **GENJI:** I have my facecam as well it was a lot of work but now as long as my mask is on its hooked up to the stream too

 **MCCREE:** you really went all out for this didnt you

 **GENJI:** Yes i thought it would be a nice fight to document

 **TRACER:** why do you assume itll be a fight?

 **GENJI:** You do not know hanzo

 **GENJI:** I know hanzo

 **TRACER:** fair enough

 **TRACER:** whoops be right back

 **GENJI:** See you

 **WINSTON:** You guys shouldn’t be in this chat. It’s borderline illegal.

 **GENJI:** But it is not illegal

 **GENJI:** We are only talking and it just so happens we are also former overwatch agents

 **WINSTON:** Okay, true.

 **WINSTON:** I’d be careful even though this channel is still secure.

 **WINSTON:** I’m going to run a shield test. @ me if you need me.

 **MEI:** Oh this group is back? How is everyone doing?

 **GENJI:** Going to meet my brother for the first time in a decade

 **GENJI:** And yes i will be streaming

 **MEI:** I’d love to watch!

 **GENJI:** Thank you for your support

 **TORBJÖRN:** Hello!

 **TORBJÖRN:** I’m still in Russia, but it’s nice to see everyone here.

 **GENJI:** Will you be watching the stream

 **TORBJÖRN:** Sure, it sounds like a good way to burn some time.

 **MERCY:** Oh my. This group is active again?

 **GENJI:** We are gathered here today to watch my brother and i have a fight

 **GENJI:** Where are you dr. ziegler

 **MERCY:** That... is not reassuring. I’m in the Middle East, but I’ve been moving around a bit.

 **GENJI:** Daijoubu

 **GENJI:** Ill be fine

 **MERCY:** Remember how we met, Genji.

 **GENJI:** It wont happen that way again

 **GENJI:** I will be fighting back this time

 **GENJI:** Except i wont hurt him because i need him to be alive

 **MCCREE:** damn right you do

 **GENJI:** Jesse now is not the time to lust after my brother

 **GENJI:** I am going to beat him up

 **MCCREE:** im gonna watch it anyway

 **GENJI:** Good this is a good number of people for an audience

 **GENJI:** Wait where is winston

 **GENJI:** I want him to be here for this important day too

 **GENJI:** How long does a shield test take

 **REINHARDT:** don’t underestimate the power of a STRONG SHIELD!

 **GENJI:** Oh good youre here too

 **REINHARDT:** i’m in greenland but i can always spare time for a chat with this group.

 **GENJI:** Is lena back yet

 **MCCREE:** nope

 **GENJI:** Damn it

 **GENJI:** Is the stream up

 **TORBJÖRN:** Yes, we can see the castle and the cat videos you’re watching on your phone.

 **GENJI:** Ok good

 **MCCREE:** ill dm you some more cat videos to pass the time

 **GENJI:** I would appreciate that

 **GENJI:** ...

 **GENJI:** Its been like an hour where is he

 **GENJI:** Im being stood up

 **MCCREE:** well its not like he knows youre waiting

 **GENJI:** Ive been sitting on this ledge for so long i need to stretch

 **MEI:** I’m sure he’ll show soon.

 **MCCREE:** jesus christ youre flexible no wonder gabriel liked you so much

 **GENJI:** Thanks

 **GENJI:** I think

 **GENJI:** Lenas not back yet either should we be worried

 **REINHARDT:** she can take care of herself, genji.

 **TORBJÖRN:** What was that?

 **MERCY:** I got it, too. Is this a trick?

 **MCCREE:** it dont seem like a good one

 **GENJI:** Ow

 **MERCY:** Are you okay, Genji?

 **GENJI:** Yes im fine that notification made me fall im climbing back up

 **REINHARDT:** was that winston?

 **GENJI:** Im looking at my screen and wow it is

 **GENJI:** Mister ‘overwatch activity is illegal so be careful chatting in here’

 **MERCY:** Why would he issue a recall now?

 **REINHARDT:** should we try talking to him?

 **TRACER:** hes got things to do, loves! but that really was him!

 **TRACER:**  we just spoke!!

 **GENJI:** Hes killing my moment

 **MEI:** To be fair, your ‘moment’ has been going on for a while now.

 **GENJI:** That is not my fault blame my brother

 **GENJI:** Wait wait wait

 **GENJI:** I see him

 **GENJI:** My brother i mean

 **GENJI:** This is not a joke look hes there look

 **TRACER:** we have the stream open, love, we can see :P

 **GENJI:** Are you fucking looking

 **MERCY:** Yes, Genji.

 **REINHARDT:** im looking

 **MEI:** Is he heading to the castle?

 **GENJI:** Yes im going to follow keep an eye on the top left cam

 **TRACER:** it’s moving so fast!

 **GENJI:** No offense but i dont think you of all people can complain

 **MEI:** Are those... arrows? I thought you told us he was a swordsman.

 **MEI:** (Then Jesse made an inappropriate joke.)

 **GENJI:** He was

 **GENJI:** Better than me in fact

 **GENJI:** But he put the sword away after he thought he killed me

 **TRACER:** oh wow... thats kind of sad!

 **MCCREE:** that omnic has a cool head i like th OH

 **MERCY:** They’re dead now, aren’t they? :(

 **GENJI:** Most likely yes hanzo knows where hes aiming

 **MCCREE:** holy shit he just shot a cellphone outta the guys hand

 **GENJI:**  Oh yes focus on that and not the dead omnic

 **MEI:**  I didn’t think he’d be so ruthless.

 **GENJI:** Im sure the person who almost killed me was supposed to be nice and friendly i did not mean to shatter your expectations like this

 **TRACER:** its different when were watching it though...

 **GENJI:** Hes going in now

 **GENJI:** There look

 **GENJI:** His sword being displayed

 **MCCREE:** show us his face

 **GENJI:** Hold on i need to get inside that means lights off watch the other cams

 **GENJI:** Ahh sparrow feather

 **REINHARDT:** does that mean something?

 **GENJI:** Yeah it was kind of my thing

 **GENJI:** Young sparrow and all

 **MEI:** That’s adorable!

 **GENJI:** Thank you

 **MCCREE:** wow hes even hotter now

 **GENJI:** Do not masturbate to my brother while i am streaming

 **MCCREE:** im not!

 **GENJI:** Whoops he sensed me

 **GENJI:** Someone transcribe his words mine are automatically written down

 **REINHARDT:** how’d he sense you?

 **MCCREE:** your lights are off that means stealth mode right??

 **GENJI:** All of you need to stop assuming anything about my brother

 **GENJI:** Or either of us for that matter

 **GENJI:** Us ninjas are on a whole other level

 **MERCY:**  [“You are not the first assassin sent to kill me. And you will not be the last.”]

 **GENJI:** Thank you dr. ziegler

 **TRACER:** are... people after your brother?

 **GENJI:** Hanzo is not what youd call

 **GENJI:** Good at making friends

 **MCCREE:** i like him already

 **GENJI:** [You are bold to come to Shimada castle, the den of your enemies.]

 **MERCY:** My, my.

 **MERCY:**  [“This was once my home.”]

 **MEI:** [“Did your masters not tell you who I wDUCK GENJI

 **MEI:** ([was?”*])

 **TRACER:** NICE dodge!

 **GENJI:** [I know who you are... Hanzo.]

 **MCCREE:** using his name i like it

 **MCCREE:** his expression

 **MCCREE:** holy cow

 **MEI:** Be careful!

 **TRACER:** i cant believe hes shooting at you like this!!

 **REINHARDT:** i didnt know arrows could curve like that.

 **GENJI:** [I know you come here every year on the same day.]

 **MCCREE:** ooh that growl

 **MCCREE:** yess

 **MERCY:** Watch out!

 **TRACER:** look at him go!

 **TORBJÖRN:** Hanzo’s going to run out of arrows if he keeps missing like this.

 **GENJI:** [You risk so much to honour someone you MURDERED.]

 **MCCREE:** destroy him genji

 **MCCREE:** because sadly i cant

 **MEI:**  [“You know _nothing_ of what happened.”]

 **MCCREE:** he can tumble and roll too

 **MCCREE:** that was great i want him to do that roll again

 **TRACER:** what a block that was, love!

 **TORBJÖRN:** Splitting arrow, eh? That’s new.

 **REINHARDT:** fast deflects there

 **TRACER:** very impressive!!

 **GENJI:** [I know you tell yourself that your brother disobeyed the clan.]

 **GENJI:** [And that you had to kill him to maintain order. That it was your duty.]

 **MERCY:**  [“It was my duty.”]

 **MERCY:**  [“And my burden.”]

 **TRACER:** i think hes running out of arrows to nock...

 **MCCREE:** there goes another whacked away like it was nothing

 **GENJI:** I know my wakizashi is cool

 **MERCY:**  [“That does not mean I do not honour him!”]

 **GENJI:** Okay guys

 **GENJI:** Watch this

 **TORBJÖRN:** We’re watching.

 **REINHARDT:** we’ve been watching the whole time

 **MEI:** And transcribing!

 **TRACER:** whoa

 **MCCREE:** WHOA

 **MERCY:** Did that just happen??

 **REINHARDT:** cut it in HALF???

 **TRACER:** that was

 **MCCREE:** hot

 **MCCREE:** he growled again... thank you

 **MERCY:** Careful now!

 **MEI:** What a kick! Is he going to fall off the edge?

 **GENJI:**  He wont

 **TRACER:** dont stab him!

 **GENJI:**  I wont

 **GENJI:** [You think you honour your brother Genji with incense offerings?]

 **GENJI:** [Honour resides in one’s actions.]

 **MERCY:**  [“You dare... to lecture me about honour?”]

 **MEI:** He’s looking to the side...

 **TRACER:** umm is your brother stronger than you love? you sure you can hold him there?

 **GENJI:** Hes going to overpower me pretty easily but dont worry

 **MERCY:**  [“You are not worthy

 **MERCY:** Oh that looked like it hurt!

 **MERCY:** -to say his name!”]

 **GENJI:** Ow

 **GENJI:** Im okay

 **MCCREE:** whats his tattoo doing what is that

 **MEI:** Is it... glowing?

 **TRACER:** whats he saying?

 **GENJI:**  "[“RYUU GA WAGA TEKI WO KURAU!”]

 **GENJI:** Stop gawking and check this out

 **GENJI:** [RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE!]

 **MERCY:** This is... amazing.

 **MEI:** I didn’t know your sword could do that.

 **GENJI:** Its not my sword its me

 **TRACER:** im speechless here, love

 **REINHARDT:** i can’t believe this magic nonsense i’m seeing.

 **MCCREE:** i have no idea what those words mean but im really turned on

 **MCCREE:** he looks surprised

 **GENJI:** Of course hes surprised

 **GENJI:** He doesnt know its me

 **GENJI:** Hes probably going to mention it hold on

 **MEI:** Steam hiss. :o

 **MERCY:** I recognize that sound. :)

 **MERCY:**  [“Only a Shimada can control the dragons... who _are_ you?”]

 **TRACER:** AAA

 **TRACER:** oh i really thought you were gonna lop his head off there!

 **GENJI:** I wont hurt him dont worry

 **MERCY:**  [“Do it, then. Kill me.”]

 **MERCY:** :(

 **MEI:** Aw...

 **MCCREE:** be nice to him

 **GENJI:** [No.]

 **GENJI:** [I will not grant you the death you wish for.]

 **GENJI:** [You still have a purpose in this life... brother.]

 **MEI:**  [“No... no.”]

 **TRACER:** things are getting very dramatic!!

 **REINHARDT:** you two have a lot to sort out.

 **GENJI:** I know

 **MERCY:** [“My brother is dead.”]

 **MEI:** More steam hissing. :o

 **TORBJÖRN:** There goes the facecam.

 **GENJI:** Use the other cameras thats why theyre there

 **MCCREE:** but i wanted to stare at hanzos face some more

 **MEI:** He looks so surprised to see you...

 **MCCREE:** well he did think genji was dead

 **MERCY:**  [“Genji.”]

 **GENJI:** Thats me

 **MEI:**  [“What have you... become.”]

 **TORBJÖRN:** Welcome back, facecam.

 **MCCREE:** good

 **GENJI:** [I have accepted what I am. And I have forgiven you. Now you must forgive yourself.]

 **TRACER:** shoulder touch!

 **GENJI:** [The world is changing once again, Hanzo. And it’s time to pick a side.]

 **MEI:** That was a very long jump.

 **GENJI:** Cyber augmentation remember

 **MCCREE:** still dizzying to follow on the camera

 **MERCY:** He’s moving again, Genji.

 **GENJI:** I know

 **TRACER:** he grabbed the arrow from the wall, love!!

 **GENJI:** Sounds like hanzo

 **MEI:** I think he may try to shoot you again!

 **GENJI:** Unsurprising

 **MERCY:**  [“Real life is not like the stories our father told us.”]

 **REINHARDT:** hanamura is very pretty.

 **MEI:**  [“You are a fool for believing it so!”]

 **MEI:** Oh. :(

 **GENJI:** [Perhaps I am a fool to think there is still hope for you.]

 **MCCREE:** ooh

 **MEI:** Ooh.

 **MERCY:** Oh, goodness.

 **TRACER:** ooohhhhhhhhhh

 **GENJI:** [But I do.]

 **TRACER:** oH!!!!!!!!!

 **MCCREE:** OHHH

 **MCCREE:** the face he just made there

 **REINHARDT:** wow... wow

 **GENJI:** [Think on that, brother.]

 **MEI:** Should I be tearing up??

 **MERCY:** I’ll be honest, I am.

 **TRACER:** hes going back inside

 **GENJI:** Im not gonna follow that was supposed to be my exit so ill stay on the castle roof

 **GENJI:** He is likely going to brood and be grumpy for the rest of the night

 **MERCY:** I have a question, Genji.

 **GENJI:** Yes dr. ziegler

 **MERCY:** Does the Shimada Castle have wifi?

 **GENJI:** Not decent wifi these days

 **GENJI:** Not since our father died 

**GENJI:** It was because of hanzo and i asking for it that we had great wifi

 **GENJI:** I was streaming with data

 **MERCY:** You... what now.

 **MEI:** Isn’t that expensive?

 **TRACER:** especially to stream??

 **REINHARDT:** why didnt you just hack into the wifi? better than wasting data.

 **MCCREE:** fuckin rich folks

 **GENJI:** What else could i have done

 **GENJI:** I may be a cyborg but i am not a hacker

 **MERCY:** You _do_ realize you can connect to your own wifi network?

 **GENJI:** What do you mean

 **MERCY:** You... you ARE a wifi hotspot.

 **GENJI:** I what now

 **GENJI:** Since when

 **MERCY:** Since you were rebuilt!

 **MERCY:** You think I’d allow my team to give you cybernetic enhancements and not include wifi in the package?

 **GENJI:** I do not recall this being a point of discussion

 **MERCY:** Hm... Well, I suppose you were a little out of it at the time.

 **MERCY:** We got to test a lot of anesthetics on you!

 **GENJI:** Wow

 **GENJI:** I couldve saved so much money

 **MERCY:** It’s a good thing you’re rich. :)

 **MCCREE:** FUCKIN rich folks i swear

 **GENJI:** Yeah thats true why am i even complaining

 **MERCY:** I’ll help you with the wifi setup later.

 **GENJI:** Thank you dr. ziegler

 **GENJI:** Ok stream is over thank you for visiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ cant stop fucking listening to the fucking [s76 bakemonogatari video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrIl1ncb_ZY)
> 
> also another plug for [ArcaneAdagio's chatlog fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7324573) because im gonna be referencing it. we yell at each other sometimes and swap logs. there are going to be connected jokes just you wait


	8. LOG 6: PART 1/2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go boiz //

**\-- SUB TO GENJI ON TWITCH.TV + WATCH HIM BEAT UP HIS BROTHER HANZO CHAT --**

**WINSTON:** Hello, everyone!

 **WINSTON:** Thank you all for responding so quickly to my agent recall.

 **TRACER:** of course, love! :)

 **WINSTON:** After some recruiting, negotiations, and long conversations, I am proud to announce that there will soon be new members added to this chat.

 **MCCREE:** is that a good thing for them??

 **WINSTON:** Considering the unprofessional nature of this chat’s history, no.

 **WINSTON:** However, there have been situations in which this chat proved useful, so we will continue to use it.

 **GENJI:** I remember

 **MCCREE:** yeah like the time liao asked us to grab him more toilet paper

 **GENJI:** How did that problem arise

 **GENJI:** The facilities have automated systems to refill toilet paper

 **MCCREE:** someone jammed it

 **MCCREE:** classic prank

 **GENJI:** It was probably ana

 **MCCREE:** aint it always

 **GENJI:** If it was not liao making the blunder himself then yes

 **GENJI:** It was usually ana

 **TRACER:** she did love to mess with liao, didnt she?

 **GENJI:** Yes very much

 **MEI:** That was part of their friendship!

 **MERCY:** Like when she beat up Gabriel.

 **MEI:** Oh, those were some painful times for him.

 **MCCREE:** i still have that one really good clip

 **MCCREE:** yknow the one where he also rambles about jack

 **GENJI:** I miss him

 **MCCREE:** i sure as heck dont

 **GENJI:** You did not know him like i did

 **TRACER:** tmi!!

 **GENJI:** Let me mourn my dead lover

**\-- WINSTON added BASTION, D.VA, HANZO, JUNKRAT, LÚCIO, PHARAH, ROADHOG, SYMMETRA, ZARYA, ZENYATTA to the server. --**

**MCCREE:** hanzo??

 **GENJI:** Ah yes there he is

 **MCCREE:** oh boy

 **MERCY:** It will be interesting to meet him. You’ve told us so much about him, Genji.

 **GENJI:** There has been a lot to tell dr. ziegler

 **MERCY:** @WINSTON: We still have administrator privileges, correct?

 **WINSTON:** Correct.

 **MERCY:** Good to know.

 **WINSTON:** There is another person whom I have to add, but I’m getting an error message when I try. I’ll have to manually troubleshoot.

 **WINSTON:** Keep things reasonable in my absence.

 **MCCREE:** dont we always?

 **WINSTON:** Well, no.

 **GENJI:** I think jesse was being sarcastic

 **WINSTON:** Apt, all things considered. @ me if you need me.

 **DRAGON DADDY:** Someone please help me change my name.

 **GENJI:** HOLY SHIT

 **MCCREE:** who in the heck

 **MCCREE:** is that your brother genji??

 **GENJI:** JUDGING BY THE PROFILE AND ID YES

 **MCCREE:** dfgdflhdffdmlb

 **MCCREE:** did you do that

 **GENJI:** UNFORTUNATELY NO

 **DRAGON DADDY:** Is there a reason I cannot change it back.

 **MERCY:** You have to be a moderator to change the names in this server. :)

 **GENJI:**  ANGELA

 **MERCY:** :)

 **DRAGON DADDY:** Am I missing something here.

 **MCCREE:** christ he types like gabriel

 **GENJI:** How dare you compare gabriel to my brother

 **MCCREE:** well he put a period where a question mark should go

 **MCCREE:** aint that just like somethin gabriel would do

 **GENJI:** Wow

 **GENJI:** Yes actually it is

 **GENJI:** Why did you have to bring that up

 **MCCREE:** if i have to suffer through this you do too

 **GENJI:** You are the second worst

 **GENJI:** Hanzo will forever be the worst though

 **DRAGON DADDY:** Ok.

 **GENJI:** No im kidding i forgive you

 **DRAGON DADDY:** Ok.

 **GENJI:** Oh no youre right he does type like reyes if reyes used automatic capitalization

 **GENJI:** This is unbelievable

 **MCCREE:** maybe we can just ignore it??

 **GENJI:** It will take me a thousand years to recover from this revelation

 **DRAGON DADDY:** Is.

 **DRAGON DADDY:** Something the matter?

 **MCCREE:** A QUESTION MARK

 **GENJI:** THANK GOODNESS

 **DRAGON DADDY:** I see.

 **GENJI:** For that i will change your name back to normal

 **HANZO:** Ok.

 **D.VA:** ㅎㅇ!!

 **D.VA:** hey party people!!!!

 **GENJI:** Hello

 **GENJI:** Who are you

 **REINHARDT:** you really dont know who that is?

 **REINHARDT:** that’s HANA SONG

 **GENJI:** Um

 **REINHARDT:** the streamer?

 **GENJI:** Umm

 **REINHARDT:** she’s in the korean military

 **GENJI:** How many more ‘um’s must i give you before you get the point

 **D.VA:** ㄱㅊ i dont expect everyone to recognize me lmao

 **D.VA:** just

 **D.VA:** MOST people

 **GENJI:** Nice to meet you hana

 **D.VA:** ㄳ nice to meet you too!

 **MCCREE:** not again with the foreign slang

 **MCCREE:** i aint lookin all these up

 **GENJI:** You will be fine reading just the english jesse

 **MCCREE:** yeah i hope so

 **MCCREE:** anyway what would liao say if he was here

 **GENJI:** He would bring back embarrassing past instances

 **GENJI:** Assorted chat logs about all of us as an ‘introduction’ of us to our new agents

 **MCCREE:** that gives me an excuse to dig up some dirt haha

 **GENJI:** Same here

 **GENJI:** He was particularly invested in joking about you in relation to reyes being like an adoptive father

 **GENJI:** And by extension morrison and amari like adoptive parents as well

 **MCCREE:** aw hell no

 **GENJI:** It is time to dig up some dirt

 **GENJI:** Haha

 **MCCREE:** dammit genji

 **HANZO:** We already know who all of you are.

 **MCCREE:** oh yeah

 **MCCREE:** then who am i

 **HANZO:** Does it matter.

 **D.VA:** ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

 **D.VA:** i almost dropped my phone frm laughing so h a rd

 **MCCREE:** you will know me handsome

 **MCCREE:** i swear it

 **HANZO:** My name is Hanzo.

 **HANZO:** It’s not that hard to spell.

 **MCCREE:** oh no hes perfect

 **HANZO:** Also.

 **HANZO:** Why is that the chat title.

 **GENJI:** No reason

 **HANZO:** I see.

 **LÚCIO:** hello hello!

 **MCCREE:** howdy

 **LÚCIO:** how’s everyone doing today? :)

 **GENJI:** Seeing as i just located the video i was looking for

 **GENJI:** Pretty good i would say

 **LÚCIO:** that’s great! glad to hear it!

 **JUNKRAT:** SHOW US IS IT FUNNY

 **GENJI:** Yes its hilarious

 **GENJI:** Though it will make more sense to the original group im sure we can all bond over making fun of jesse

 **MCCREE:** hey

 **GENJI:** Yo

 **JUNKRAT:** I LIKE MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE

 **JUNKRAT:** LETS SEE IT

 **D.VA:** ㅋㅋ whyre you typing in allcaps

 **JUNKRAT:** I DONT KNOW IT SEEMED LIKE THE RIGHT THING TO DO

 **JUNKRAT:** HEY WHERES ROADIE

 **ROADHOG:** present.

 **JUNKRAT:** ALRIGHT GREAT

 **MCCREE:** wait i recognize those names

 **MCCREE:** aint yall internationally wanted criminals or somethin

 **JUNKRAT:** YEAH SO WHAT

 **MCCREE:** whyd you join overwatch

 **JUNKRAT:** THEY ARE GIVING US SO MUCH MONEY TO BLOW THINGS UP

 **JUNKRAT:** ALSO SHOWERS

 **D.VA:** oh yeah they really do pay a lot dont they??

 **D.VA:** im here cause they have something going on with the korean military

 **MCCREE:** they have things going on with a lot of militaries i think

 **LÚCIO:** i was recruited! :)

 **LÚCIO:** sending the money back home. and i still get to do concerts between training!

 **PHARAH:** I believe most of us were recruited.

 **MCCREE:** FAREEHA!!

 **PHARAH:** Hello Jesse! :smile:

 **MCCREE:** !!!!!

 **PHARAH:** Anyway, I know Ms. Zaryanova and Ms. Vaswani were recruited.

 **SYMMETRA:** Indeed, I was.

 **LÚCIO:** aw heck no.

 **SYMMETRA:** Oh, it’s you.

 **LÚCIO:** yeah it’s me. :/

 **SYMMETRA:** What are you doing here?

 **LÚCIO:** we were both recruited, like it says above.

 **GENJI:** Awkward

 **GENJI:** Lets move on

 **GENJI:** Embarrassment time

 **GENJI:** [[Good job jesse.mp4]]

 **MCCREE:** wait what

 **D.VA:** can someone transcribe it? i misplaced my headphones and dont wanna play it out loud :/

 **GENJI:** Sure hana

 **GENJI:** I will even take the liberty of typing out everyone’s words as they type and text

 **GENJI:** For the full effect

 **D.VA:** youre the real hero

 **GENJI:** Reyes: good job today.

Jesse: thanks dad

Jesse: why is everyone staring at me??

Genji: You just called captain reyes ‘dad’

Jesse: what? no i didnt i said ‘thanks man’

Reyes: do you see me as a father figure mccree.

Jesse: no!!

Jesse: if anything i see you as a BOTHER FIGURE cause youre always BOTHERING me

Ana: hey show your father some respect

Jesse: i didnt call him dad!

Liao: please tell me someone got that cuz i see like six phones out this table alone

Genji: I did

Jesse: WHAT

Reyes: haha.

Liao: thank u genji we can always depend on u

Reyes: dont upload that.

 **JUNKRAT:** NICE

 **JUNKRAT:** NOW MAKE FUN OF JESSE SOME MORE

 **MCCREE:** WHY

 **D.VA:** ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

 **D.VA:** OMG

 **TRACER:** i remember that!!

 **TRACER:** @MCCREE: does this make genji your dad too??

 **MCCREE:** NO!!!!!!!!!!!

 **GENJI:** Hahaha

 **GENJI:** Just call me daddy

 **MCCREE:** IM NOT DOING THAT

 **HANZO:** Why would that make genji his dad.

 **GENJI:** Um

 **TRACER:** oh genji never told you?

 **HANZO:** Told me what.

 **MCCREE:** hes typing like gabriel again

 **MCCREE:** god help us

 **GENJI:** Nothing its nothing

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @GENJI & @TRACER --**

 **GENJI:** I have not told my brother

 **GENJI:** What he does not know will not hurt him

 **TRACER:** im so sorry love!! i didnt mean to bring it up :(

 **GENJI:** Its okay im sure he will forget about it soon 

* * *

  **\-- SUB TO GENJI ON TWITCH.TV + WATCH HIM BEAT UP HIS BROTHER HANZO CHAT --**

 **MCCREE:** aw genji... you mean... you havent told your beloved older brother?

 **MCCREE:** well shoot

 **MCCREE:** goshdarn

 **MCCREE:** yall

 **GENJI:** What

 **GENJI:** What are you saying

 **GENJI:** Why are you using all those cowboy words what are you doing

 **MCCREE:** shucks genji

 **GENJI:** Why shucks

 **MCCREE:** i just think hanzo oughta know dont you

 **GENJI:** No he really doesnt

 **HANZO:** Know what.

 **D.VA:** is this some kinda sibling drama??

 **JUNKRAT:** I LOVE IT

 **JUNKRAT:** LETS HAVE SOME MORE OF IT

 **TRACER:** oh no

 **MCCREE:** i mean brothers as close as you two oughta know everything about each other right

 **GENJI:** I disagree completely

 **GENJI:** There is no reason for that topic to come up

 **GENJI:** Let us talk about something else

 **GENJI:** How is the weather today

 **MEI:** It’s cold where I am.

 **JUNKRAT:** PRETTY WARM OVER HERE JUST LOOK OUT THE WINDOW

 **GENJI:** Wow very interesting please tell me more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ brooklyn 99 reference because its such a good fucking show and i need the next fuckin season right now immediately. i love andy samberg so much fuck shit damn


	9. LOG 6: PART 2/2

**\-- SUB TO GENJI ON TWITCH.TV + WATCH HIM BEAT UP HIS BROTHER HANZO CHAT --**

**MCCREE:** cmon genji im sure hanzo would love to know

 **GENJI:** No he will disapprove he disapproves of everything

 **MCCREE:** anyway gabriel aint my dad but uh

 **GENJI:** Jesse you are treading on very thin ice right now

 **MCCREE:** the reason lena made that joke in the first place?

 **GENJI:** Jesse

 **HANZO:** Hm.

 **MCCREE:** hmmmmmm

 **GENJI:** Do not tell him

 **GENJI:** You can lie for my benefit jesse we are flawless actors

 **JUNKRAT:** DOESNT IT DEFEAT THE POINT OF LYING IF YOURE GONNA SAY THAT

 **D.VA:** yeah not a smooth move there

 **GENJI:** Shut up

 **MCCREE:** hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 **HANZO:** Is there a reason you are arguing with Mccree right now Genji.

 **MCCREE:** its McCree actually

 **HANZO:** Ok.

 **GENJI:** No reason

 **GENJI:** We have plenty of arguments that is what things are like around overwatch

 **GENJI:** So many arguments

 **JUNKRAT:** THATS FUN RIGHT

 **MERCY:** It’s a nightmare.

 **MCCREE:** @HANZO

 **HANZO:** Yes.

 **GENJI:** No

 **MCCREE:** your lil brother fucked gabriel reyes

 **HANZO:** What.

 **GENJI:** I must go

 **HANZO:** Hold on.

 **GENJI:** No thanks

 **HANZO:** Which one is Reyes.

 **TRACER:** the one jess called ‘dad’!

 **MCCREE:** STOP BRINGING THAT UP

 **JUNKRAT:** BRING IT UP AGAIN

 **HANZO:** I see.

 **GENJI:** Stop that

 **GENJI:** Close your eyes

 **HANZO:** I do not understand.

 **HANZO:** Why is this a big deal.

 **GENJI:** Wait what you dont care

 **MCCREE:** dang it

 **HANZO:** Genji’s sex habits have been more of a benefit to my life than not.

 **HANZO:** And in any case.

 **HANZO:** It is none of my business.

 **GENJI:** Arigato kamisama

 **MCCREE:** hold on hold on

 **MCCREE:** how would genji getting laid help you out?

 **MCCREE:** hows that even work??

 **GENJI:** Fuck

 **GENJI:** Lets change the topic again

 **TRACER:** even i know the answer to that one, love

 **TRACER:** dont you listen to genjis drunken rambling??

 **MCCREE:** when hes drunk im usually also drunk

 **TRACER:** oh... yeah that sounds about right

 **TRACER:** we should have another party night soon!!!

 **D.VA:** i love parties sounds fun!!

 **LÚCIO:** seconded. :)

 **JUNKRAT:** YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **PHARAH:** My mother loved and hated Overwatch parties in equal measure.

 **MCCREE:** cause she had fun but she always got hungover

 **GENJI:** Her fault for not drinking enough water

 **PHARAH:** I will not make the same mistakes, so don’t worry.

 **MCCREE:** aww its like it was only yesterday you were a lil kid though

 **PHARAH:** Jesse, please.

 **MCCREE:** i know i know im just saying

 **GENJI:** Do not get caught up in nostalgia here

 **GENJI:** Ana would disapprove of your tears because they would drown us

 **MCCREE:** hey

 **GENJI:** Wheres @ZENYATTA

 **TRACER:** dropped their phone maybe?

 **GENJI:** Omnics do not drop their phones trust me on this

 **ZENYATTA:** I don’t own a phone. It never seemed like a useful piece of technology for me.

 **GENJI:** Oh hello there

 **GENJI:** Master what are you using to reply to us

 **GENJI:** If not a phone

 **ZENYATTA:** A tablet, of course.

 **GENJI:** Wow what happened to ‘your life will not be dictated by material goods my dear pupil’

 **ZENYATTA:** How else would I be able to communicate with the group out of the battlefield? It seemed like a necessity in this situation.

 **D.VA:** wouldnt you just be able to like

 **D.VA:** use yourself

 **D.VA:** you are a technology

 **GENJI:** Yes thats how i streamed my fight against hanzo

 **HANZO:** You were streaming that.

 **GENJI:** Shh

 **HANZO:** What’s your twitch.

 **GENJI:** Gn.g shimada

 **GENJI:** What else would it be its always that

 **GENJI:** Wait

 **GENJI:** Are you subscribing to me

 **HANZO:** Maybe.

 **ZENYATTA:** The tablet has more applications. Literally.

 **D.VA:** that was an unnecessary pun

 **ZENYATTA:** I suppose you could say it was.

 **D.VA:** ㄴ

 **D.VA:** NO

 **MCCREE:**  HECK no

 **GENJI:** Haha

 **ZENYATTA:** Punnecessary.

 **D.VA:** ㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴ

 **D.VA:** UGHHHHHHHHHH

 **GENJI:** Hahaha

 **HANZO:** I found it.

 **GENJI:** What

 **MCCREE:** whatd you find?

 **HANZO:** A chat log.

 **GENJI:** Of what

 **GENJI:**  I mean let us not bring up the past here

 **HANZO:** After you told me your Twitch handle I remembered what your Skype name was.

 **GENJI:** You are dastardly

 **GENJI:** Its GN.G isnt it its been that forever

 **HANZO:** Yes.

**HANZO:**

[6/29/2059 6:54:08 PM] GN.G: Is tsukiko bothering you again

[6/29/2059 6:54:09 PM] hanzo: Yes. Why do you ask?

[6/29/2059 6:54:11 PM] GN.G: She was bothering me too

[6/29/2059 6:59:13 PM] GN.G: She is very

[6/29/2059 7:00:45 PM] hanzo: Interested.

[6/29/2059 7:09:19 PM] GN.G: That is putting it lightly

[6/29/2059 7:09:22 PM] GN.G: Anyway ill take her out tonight

[6/29/2059 7:10:33 PM] hanzo: Didn’t you have a date?

[6/29/2059 7:12:40 PM] GN.G: I rescheduled

[6/29/2059 7:12:45 PM] GN.G: He will understand

[6/29/2059 7:13:06 PM] hanzo: You seemed excited for it though.

[6/29/2059 7:13:08 PM] GN.G: I was

[6/29/2059 7:13:11 PM] GN.G: But id rather get tsukiko off your back

[6/29/2059 7:13:26 PM] GN.G: I mean our backs

[6/29/2059 7:13:27 PM] GN.G: You know brother it would make your life easier if you just liked people

[6/29/2059 7:15:39 PM] hanzo: I cannot help not being interested.

[6/29/2059 7:15:49 PM] GN.G: I know brother

[6/29/2059 7:16:05 PM] GN.G: Dont settle

[6/29/2059 7:16:17 PM] GN.G: I looked that phrase up last night and i think i used it right

[6/29/2059 7:17:34 PM] hanzo: You did.

[6/29/2059 7:17:49 PM] hanzo: Don’t you have fun though?

[6/29/2059 7:17:49 PM] GN.G: You mean on these flings

[6/29/2059 7:17:54 PM] GN.G: I guess so they are nice people even if they arent for us

[6/29/2059 7:18:04 PM] GN.G: Remember youta and noa and kaede

[6/29/2059 7:18:09 PM] hanzo: I didn’t want to date any of them. But that’s not their faults.

[6/29/2059 7:18:47 PM] GN.G: Haha

[6/29/2059 7:19:06 PM] GN.G: Its ok hanzo i understand

[6/29/2059 7:20:55 PM] GN.G: It was fun to spend nights with them

[6/29/2059 7:21:14 PM] hanzo: I would hope so.

[6/29/2059 7:21:27 PM] GN.G: Lets see a movie tomorrow im tired of going on dates with random people

[6/29/2059 7:21:59 PM] GN.G: It might be fun but its still exhausting doing it all the time

[6/29/2059 7:22:30 PM] hanzo: Sure.

[6/29/2059 7:22:34 PM] GN.G: I get to pick which movie though

[6/29/2059 7:23:06 PM] hanzo: Fine.

 **MCCREE:** that is a long log

 **MCCREE:** time to read the whole thing

 **GENJI:** That is not the chat log i was expecting

 **TRACER:** wow that was... actually... kind of cute??

 **D.VA:** whyre you both talking in english

 **GENJI:** Practice

 **MCCREE:** dang it was

 **MCCREE:** 2059 thats before the uh

 **GENJI:** Yes it is before the uh

 **MCCREE:** righty-o

 **HANZO:** So like I said. I need not mettle in Genji’s affairs.

 **GENJI:** Thank you brother

 **GENJI:** And @MCCREE: eat shit bastard

 **MCCREE:** i aint even gonna complain

 **MCCREE:** that weird brotherly affection/hate thing is too funny to watch

 **D.VA:** agreed tbh

 **HANZO:** Also.

 **GENJI:** Oh no theres an also

 **GENJI:** Why is there an also

 **HANZO:** Reyes is rather attractive.

 **GENJI:** Oh

 **MCCREE:** GOD

 **D.VA:** ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

 **D.VA:** PLOT TWIST??

 **TRACER:** haha i wonder what gabe wouldve replied to that!!

 **GENJI:** Probably something like ‘thanks.’

 **TRACER:** dyou think itd make him blush??

 **MCCREE:** i mean considerin hanzos nice face

 **MCCREE:** heck yeah

 **GENJI:** Jesse please youve never seen reyes blush

 **MCCREE:** what sure i have

 **MCCREE:** a few times

 **MCCREE:** like when you were drunk that one time and slapped his ass REALLY hard

 **GENJI:** Wow what an example

 **GENJI:** In any case i am obliged to agree

 **GENJI:** He wouldve appreciated hanzos compliment

 **MCCREE:** he aint big on flattery

 **MCCREE:** but this IS hanzo so

 **TRACER:** yeah you have a good looking brother!!

 **HANZO:** How do any of you know what I look like.

 **TRACER:** weve known genji for years love

 **TRACER:** youve been the topic of many conversations and stories!!

 **HANZO:** I see.

 **WINSTON:** I’m glad to see our new recruits are settling in nicely.

 **D.VA:** i guess you could say that

 **WINSTON:** @BASTION @D.VA @HANZO @JUNKRAT @LÚCIO @PHARAH @ROADHOG @SYMMETRA @ZARYA @ZENYATTA:

 **WINSTON:**  Remember, everyone gets a complimentary article of Overwatch clothing. Pick whatever you’d like from the store linked in the sidebar.

 **MCCREE:** oh man i remember my first shirt

 **MCCREE:** it was a black hoodie cause i wanted to match with the rest of blackwatch

 **MCCREE:** then i got a grey hoodie the next year and a white hoodie the year after

 **GENJI:** My first was a hooded jacket and i got another on my last anniversary

 **GENJI:** Its very comfy

 **GENJI:** @HANZO: Pick the hooded jacket so we match

 **HANZO:** Ok.

 **JUNKRAT:** @ROADHOG: LETS BOTH GET HOODIES SO WE MATCH

 **ROADHOG:** ok.

 **JUNKRAT:** YEAH!!!

 **LÚCIO:** i like the tank top. :)

 **D.VA:** ill take a hat! im still wearing out my lucio tank  ㅋㅋ

 **LÚCIO:** aww! i have a pink d.va tank top!

 **D.VA:** ok we HAVE to take a selfie together our fans would love it

 **LÚCIO:** sure sounds good!

 **SYMMETRA:** I’ll take a t-shirt.

 **PHARAH:** I’ll go with the track jacket.

 **MCCREE:** your mom loved the overwatch track jackets

 **MEI:** (Except for the part where they don’t have pockets on the inside.)

 **MCCREE:** she sewed in pockets herself remember

 **MEI:** To hold more sleep darts.

 **MERCY:** I’m so glad I gave her that gun. :)

 **MCCREE:** she was always ready for gabriels rude comments

 **GENJI:** Every single time jack or liao or myself had to carry him back to his room was an ordeal

 **GENJI:** But i forgive ana for it

 **GENJI:** Because it was really funny

 **PHARAH:** Well now I can have my own. :thumbsup:

 **ZARYA:** I will have a tank top.

 **D.VA:** ok hear me out

 **LÚCIO:** listening!

 **D.VA:** what if instead of free shirts upon joining overwatch

 **D.VA:** we got...

 **D.VA:** FREE PUPPIES

 **LÚCIO:** i like this idea.

 **MCCREE:** yes yes a million billion times YES

 **GENJI:** Or kittens those are nice

 **D.VA:** YEAH

 **JUNKRAT:** THATS A GOOD IDEA I LIKE IT

 **TRACER:** theyd be so cute!!

 **TRACER:** @WINSTON

 **WINSTON:** No.

 **MCCREE:** @MERCY

 **MERCY:** No.

 **GENJI:** @MERCY

 **MERCY:** ...

 **MERCY:** I’ll consider it.

 **TRACER:** good job genji!!

 **D.VA:** NICE

 **MCCREE:** HECK YEAH

 **JUNKRAT:** PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **WINSTON:** Damn it, Angela.

 **MERCY:** How was I supposed to say no to that!

 **WINSTON:** All he did was @ you!

 **MERCY:** Yes, but.

 **MERCY:** But.

 **MERCY:** I just.

 **MERCY:** I couldn’t.

 **MCCREE:** genjis charms come in handy again

 **MERCY:** That’s not it!

 **TRACER:** genji being genji comes in handy again :P

 **GENJI:** As liao would say

 **GENJI:** Good job boiz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ [GN.G is a reference to one of my favourite ow comics ever](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/147791809966/njikeartist2-dva-no-ones-beating-my-high)


	10. LOG 7: @MORRISON & @REYES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHORT CHAPTER LOVES
> 
> NOBODY ASKED FOR REAPER 76 ANGST BUT I PROVIDE //

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @MORRISON & @REYES --**

**MORRISON:** hey.

 **MORRISON:** i know you’re not gonna see this. but i don’t know.

 **MORRISON:** i think i had to say something.

 **MORRISON:** get my thoughts out, i mean.

 **MORRISON:** i don’t even have data since i’m not exactly on overwatch’s cell plan anymore. too busy being dead.

 **MORRISON:** but maybe one day i’ll forget i sent these messages, and i’ll turn on the wifi, and then they’ll actually send.

 **MORRISON:** until that day, i might as well be talking to a ghost.

 **MORRISON:** maybe i am.

 **MORRISON:** i don’t know.

 **MORRISON:** i miss you.

 **MORRISON:** i miss you and i miss holding you and being held by you.

 **MORRISON:** haven’t spoken to him in a while, obviously, but i’m sure genji misses you too. maybe more than i do, because he probably thinks you’re dead.

 **MORRISON:** i know you’re not.

 **MORRISON:** you can’t be dead. you’re too stubborn for that.

 **MORRISON:** i am, too.

 **MORRISON:** old soldiers, right?

 **MORRISON:** we don’t go down easy. and we’re pretty damn hard to kill.

 **MORRISON:** we don't...

 **MORRISON:** die.

 **MORRISON:** uh, anyway.

 **MORRISON:** i’m supposed to be mad at you, i think. but i’m not. and i don’t want to be.

 **MORRISON:** or maybe you’re supposed to be mad at me?

 **MORRISON:**  i try not to think about it.

 **MORRISON:** those nights we spent together were nice. countless nights.

 **MORRISON:** i’m not a sappy person. i guess not. not anymore, like i used to be when we were together.

 **MORRISON:** but what we had wasn’t nothing. it was... everything. it was everything to me.

 **MORRISON:** even my. whatever it is, whatever i’ve become now. my being more callous.

 **MORRISON:**  even my being more callous doesn’t matter in terms of me talking about my feelings. which you always told me was ok to do.

 **MORRISON:** things are different now.

 **MORRISON:** so.

 **MORRISON:** why do i miss you so much?

 **MORRISON:** i’m sorry, gabriel.

 **MORRISON:** i hope i do remember to send these someday. but not now.

 **MORRISON:** i think a part of me is scared, but a bigger part of me wants you to see what i have to say.

 **MORRISON:** i don’t care how sensitive i sound.

 **MORRISON:** i hope i get to see you again. i doubt it’ll end up pretty, but i think... i think i _need_ to see you again.

 **MORRISON:** i’m sorry.

 **MORRISON:** i love you.

 **MORRISON:** i miss you.

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @MORRISON & @REYES --**

 **REYES:** damn it morrison. with ana saving your ass again. of course.

 **REYES:** and now this.

 **REYES:** fuck you.

 **REYES:** fuck.

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @MORRISON & @REYES --**

 **MORRISON:** missed me, reyes?

* * *

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @MORRISON & @REYES --**

**REYES:** no.

 **REYES:** maybe.

 **REYES:** fuck you.

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @MORRISON & @REYES --**

 **REYES:** yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ +yr chapterly reminder to read [ArcaneAdagio's fantastic chat log fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7324573/chapters/16637323) do it you gotta
> 
> [a few](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/147413556036/mxprieto-qu%C3%A9-tango-hay-que-cantar-para-poder) [reaper 76](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/146703004673/ojiisanholic-u-probably-dont-want-that) [things i like](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/146625171991/casuallysuplexes-i-think-the-guitar-on-reapers) [cause they](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/148163703831/im-incredibly-depressed-right-now-and-your-reyes) [are good](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/147910265041/hinoart-this-time-this-is-non-fatmilk-s-idea)


	11. LOG 8: PART 1/1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made [a playlist for this fic](http://8tracks.com/uberchargecovu/it-s-basically-discord). most of these are songs i listened to while writing this along with _lone wolf meets coyote_ and _hola, gatito._ it’s a clusterfuck befitting these wild logs. enjoy :^) //

**\-- SUB TO GENJI ON TWITCH.TV + WATCH HIM BEAT UP HIS BROTHER HANZO CHAT --**

**D.VA:** hey losers

 **D.VA:** whos awake

 **TRACER:** i am!

 **MCCREE:** whadyou want ana

 **MCCREE:** ohg

 **D.VA:** what??

 **D.VA:** whos ana

 **D.VA:** your girlfriend???

 **MCCREE:** NO

 **TRACER:** hahahahaha!

 **D.VA:** your friend

 **MCCREE:** uh

 **D.VA:** your sister

 **MCCREE:** no

 **D.VA:** your mom

 **GENJI:** Correct

 **MCCREE:** fuck off genji

 **GENJI:** Im always online so i dont have to fuck off

 **GENJI:** At any time

 **GENJI:** Ever

 **HANZO:** Unfortunate.

 **GENJI:** Brother please

 **HANZO:** No.

 **GENJI:** I didnt even ask anything

 **HANZO:** My answer remains the same.

 **GENJI:** Wow

 **D.VA:** whyre the old folks awake anyway

 **MCCREE:** wh

 **MCCREE:** i aint old

 **D.VA:** yeah you are!

 **D.VA:** well ok how old are you?

 **MCCREE:** 37

 **D.VA:** thats old

 **GENJI:** Jesse being insulted by a child

 **GENJI:** Now this i like to see

 **D.VA:** who’re you calling a child???

 **GENJI:** How old are you

 **D.VA:** 19!!

 **GENJI:** Holy shit

 **GENJI:** An infant has infiltrated our ranks

 **HANZO:** Are you referring to yourself.

 **GENJI:** What

 **GENJI:** No i obviously meant hana

 **GENJI:** You are so rude at night

 **MCCREE:** thank you hanzo

 **HANZO:** Ok.

 **GENJI:** @MCCREE: Youre trying too hard

 **GENJI:** That is my advice

 **MCCREE:** that aint advice

 **GENJI:** That is my advice you filthy westerner cowboy

 **MCCREE:** we used to be friends genji

 **GENJI:** In which dimension did this phenomenon occur

 **MCCREE:** i aint ever gonna get over the fact

 **MCCREE:** part of your wantin to learn more english was to insult me

 **GENJI:** Ana encouraged it

 **GENJI:** And dr. ziegler has many words up her sleeve

 **JUNKRAT:** WHO UP

 **LÚCIO:** CLICK LIKE!

 **JUNKRAT:** YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **LÚCIO:** YEAHHHHH!!

 **D.VA:** its 2076 you guys seriously

 **D.VA:** i havent seen that joke in years

 **REINHARDT:** it’s not a bad one.

 **D.VA:** umm yeah maybe by the standards of dinosaurs??

 **REINHARDT:** oh please even a few of you younger folks can appreciate old memes.

 **D.VA:** theyre not funny anymore!!

 **LÚCIO:** speak for yourself, i think some of the classics are hilarious. :)

 **REINHARDT:** oh yes like when im charging

 **D.VA:** oh no

 **REINHARDT:** i like to think:

 **D.VA:** UGH HERE IT COMES

 **REINHARDT:** **LEEEEEEEROYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY**

 **REINHARDT:** **_JEEEEEEEEENNNNKINNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS_**

 **D.VA:** thats it overwatch is dead to me

 **GENJI:** I remember when hanzo backcapped the last point he said

 **GENJI:** All your base are belong to us

 **D.VA:** ㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴ

 **D.VA:** WHYYY

 **LÚCIO:** wow. those are... really old.

 **HANZO:** Yes. I remember that.

 **D.VA:** HES NOT EVEN TRYING TO DENY IT

 **D.VA:** THATS NOT EVEN A GOOD MEME UGHH

 **MCCREE:** what the hells a meme

 **D.VA:** omfg

 **GENJI:** Jesse you are embarrassing yourself again

 **MCCREE:** its an honest question

 **D.VA:** this discussion is killing me

 **ZARYA:** In Russia, you kill discussion.

 **D.VA:** AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH _HHHHHHHHH_

 **D.VA:** like i said in yesterdays battle

 **D.VA:** @SYMMETRA is the only cool adult around here

 **SYMMETRA:** I know one meme.

 **D.VA:** <3

 **MCCREE:** you woulda loved ana

 **GENJI:** Ana was the coolest

 **GENJI:** Also myself

 **GENJI:** But mostly her

 **TRACER:** amen to that!

 **D.VA:** how old was she

 **MCCREE:** around reinhardts age

 **REINHARDT:** she was a year younger, actually.

 **D.VA:** hey pops @REINHARDT how old’re you

 **REINHARDT:** 61

 **D.VA:** HOLY FUCK

 **D.VA:** YOU REALLY ARE A DINOSAUR

 **REINHARDT:** and to me, you are but a wee baby child.

 **D.VA:** WHAAAAAAAT

 **JUNKRAT:** WHOA YOURE EVEN OLDER THAN ROADHOG

 **JUNKRAT:** WHOS LIKE

 **JUNKRAT:** UHH

 **JUNKRAT:** SUPER OLD

 **JUNKRAT:** @ROADHOG

 **ROADHOG:** im sleeping.

 **JUNKRAT:** HOW OLD ARE YOU??

 **JUNKRAT:** I DONT THINK YOU EVER TOLD ME

 **ROADHOG:** not important.

 **JUNKRAT:** BUT IM CURIOUS

 **ROADHOG:** go to bed.

 **JUNKRAT:** PLEASE

 **JUNKRAT:** CMON

 **ROADHOG:** 48.

 **JUNKRAT:** THANK YOU

 **ROADHOG:** now go sleep.

 **JUNKRAT:** OK BYE GOOD NIGHT CHAT

 **D.VA:** uh

 **D.VA:** see ya

 **LÚCIO:** 48 is pretty old, don’tcha think?

 **D.VA:** 37 is old already

 **D.VA:** everyone over 40 is ancient

 **LÚCIO:** hahaha so true!

 **MCCREE:** i mean whatever

 **MCCREE:** @ everyone in the 30s: drinks on me

 **GENJI:** You cannot afford that

 **MCCREE:** hey

 **GENJI:** No that wasnt a joke or insult for once

 **GENJI:** I dont think most people here would be able to afford that

 **GENJI:** I am serious

 **MCCREE:** pfft well how many people here are in their 30s anyway

 **MCCREE:** im sure i could buy drinks for us all

 **GENJI:** According to the profile database

 **GENJI:** Besides us there is also @HANZO @PHARAH @MEI @MERCY @BASTION

 **MCCREE:** alright well first of all i dont think the omnic needs to drink

 **ZENYATTA:** It might appreciate some oil.

 **MCCREE:** ok one cup of omnic juice for the omnic

 **MCCREE:** and some booze for the rest of the gang

 **MCCREE:** thats six people to get drunk

 **GENJI:** Well i can adjust my own tolerance and you have the alcohol tolerance of a

 **GENJI:** Someone who has remarkably low alcohol tolerance

 **REINHARDT:** like the protagonist of the webcomic prequel.

 **GENJI:** Um

 **GENJI:** Ok sure what he said

 **REINHARDT:** nobody appreciates a good elder scrolls game these days.

 **D.VA:** get with the times!! fallout is better anyway

 **REINHARDT:** you take that back

 **D.VA:** no!!!

 **GENJI:** Anyway

 **GENJI:** Considering those two factors you would still have to contend with the others

 **MEI:** Not me, though I appreciate the hypothetical gesture!

 **MEI:** (I’m in Asia right now.)

 **MCCREE:** that ticks another person off the list dont it

 **GENJI:** Yes it does

 **PHARAH:** My tolerance is about average.

 **MCCREE:** are you sposed to be drinking

 **PHARAH:** I’m 32 years old, Jesse.

 **MCCREE:** i know i know its just

 **GENJI:** We still remember you as being so young

 **PHARAH:** I know. I’m not offended. :)

 **GENJI:** Fareeha you are the only good person in this group chat

 **GENJI:** Along with dr. ziegler of course

 **PHARAH:** Aww.

 **MERCY:** Are we talking about alcohol?

 **MCCREE:** yep

 **MERCY:** Don’t you remember the last time a person thought they could out-drink me?

 **MCCREE:** uhh no

 **MERCY:** Alright. Do you remember the last time _you_ thought you could out-drink me?

 **MCCREE:** nope

 **MCCREE:** should i

 **MERCY:** Considering the amount of alcohol you consumed that night, perhaps not.

 **MERCY:** @TRACER may have a clip, though.

 **TRACER:** oh hey! yeah i might ill look for it!!

 **TRACER:** that ones SUPER embarrassing

 **MCCREE:** aw heck no

 **MCCREE:** ok fine i can cover a few drinks and a few more just for angie

 **MERCY:** How kind of you.

 **MERCY:** But don’t strain your wallet for something as silly as a gesture that will remain hypothetical.

 **MCCREE:** ive got cash why dont yall believe me

 **MERCY:** You’ve wasted so much money on hats.

 **MCCREE:** listen

 **MCCREE:** i was able to afford to buy a hat for every week of the year

 **MCCREE:** theres no way i WASNT gonna do it

 **MERCY:** Mhm.

 **PHARAH:** Why would you spend your money on 52 hats?

 **MCCREE:** well with overwatch covering big stuff like lodging and food i had some cash to throw around

 **MCCREE:** and i wasnt gonna send it back home

 **PHARAH:** So... you chose to buy 52 different hats.

 **MCCREE:** yep

 **MCCREE:** best bulk purchase ive ever made

 **MCCREE:** anyway next happy hour party im coverin drinks

 **GENJI:** You really do not have to worry about it

 **MCCREE:** haha like a few drinks will break the budget

 **MCCREE:** cmon genji

 **HANZO:** Oh. You’re buying us drinks?

 **MCCREE:** uh

 **MCCREE:** heck yeah??

 **HANZO:** Hm.

 **GENJI:** I should not have @’d him

 **MCCREE:** well whys that

 **MCCREE:** hes in his 30s aint he

 **MCCREE:** let him join our drinks crew

 **GENJI:** Even with an artificial alcohol tolerance the best i can do is about on par with dr. ziegler

 **GENJI:** Which is fine because i prefer to get drunk faster anyway

 **MCCREE:** so whats that gotta do with your brother

 **GENJI:** Um

 **GENJI:** Hanzo drinks a lot

 **GENJI:** And that is putting it very lightly

 **HANZO:** They don’t need to know that.

 **GENJI:** Yeah well now they know so too bad

 **GENJI:** You cant drown all your sorrows in wine

 **HANZO:** Yes. Yes I can. That’s the point of drinking.

 **HANZO:** This is a pointless discussion.

 **GENJI:** Amazing

 **GENJI:** @MCCREE: Hes probably drinking right now

 **MCCREE:** aint we all

 **GENJI:** No

 **MERCY:** I’m not.

 **PHARAH:** Neither am I.

 **MERCY:** I might if you’re buying, though!

 **MCCREE:** thanks angie

 **D.VA:** you should buy for all of us

 **MCCREE:** what part of 30s dont you understand

 **MCCREE:** yaint in your 30s yet

 **GENJI:** You are not even in your 20s yet

 **D.VA:** i will be soon :/

 **MCCREE:** well when youre 30 ill buy you enough booze for you to fill a tub with

 **MCCREE:** @HANZO: so dyou think you can drink enough to empty my wallet

 **MCCREE:** i mean

 **MCCREE:** without just drinkin the real expensive ones yknow the ones

 **MCCREE:** the fancy ones that aint even got that much alcohol in em

 **HANZO:** Do people actually drink those.

 **MERCY:** Yes, if they have money and functional taste buds.

 **MCCREE:** angie what do you have against straight liquor

 **MERCY:** The straight part.

 **MCCREE:** i

 **MCCREE:** alright

 **GENJI:** Hahaha

 **MCCREE:** moving on

 **MCCREE:** hanzos implicated answer was ‘no’

 **MCCREE:** so that helps my wallet dont it

 **GENJI:** I suppose so

 **MCCREE:** didnt you make jokes about him havin shit tolerance anyway

 **MCCREE:** i coulda sworn that was a running gag

 **GENJI:** No i made jokes about things weve done when we were drunk

 **GENJI:** Usually while talking about these things I was also drunk

 **MCCREE:** christ

 **MCCREE:**  then youve got a LOT of stories

 **GENJI:** Yes well we used to drink almost every night

 **TRACER:** why??

 **GENJI:** We could afford it

 **HANZO:** For fun.

 **GENJI:** Yes that too

 **MCCREE:** hmm

 **MCCREE:** @HANZO: so whats your poison

 **HANZO:** Sake.

 **GENJI:** Most of the time

 **HANZO:** Most of the time.

 **MCCREE:** and that is...

 **GENJI:** Rice wine

 **MCCREE:** well shit wine aint even that strong

 **MCCREE:** alright how bout this

 **GENJI:** Oh no

 **MCCREE:** @HANZO: lets have a drinking competition

 **GENJI:** Jesse stop yourself before its too late for your liver

 **MCCREE:** genji why cant you believe in me for once

 **GENJI:** I do believe in you

 **GENJI:** But not in this situation

 **GENJI:** Especially not with these odds

 **MCCREE:** @HANZO: two lines of liquor shots

 **MCCREE:** you in?

 **HANZO:** Sure.

 **GENJI:** Jesse i know hanzo is a man of few words

 **GENJI:** In this chat at least

 **GENJI:** But i know what he is thinking right now

 **MCCREE:** what would that be?? hes scared aint he pfft

 **GENJI:** No

 **GENJI:** Hes probably smiling in amusement

 **GENJI:** He is thinking and i will dare say i quote

 **GENJI:** ‘You foolish cowboy i am going to destroy you’

 **MCCREE:** hot

 **GENJI:** I will ensure dr. ziegler is at the competition

 **HANZO:** That was exactly what I was thinking actually.

 **MCCREE:** HOT

 **GENJI:** No jesse

 **GENJI:** Ok i messaged her

 **MERCY:** What will you two be drinking?

 **TRACER:** ooh do jägerbombs!!

 **MCCREE:** hey sounds like a great idea

 **GENJI:** No that is a terrible idea

 **GENJI:** @TRACER: Are you trying to get jesse killed

 **TRACER:** :P

 **TRACER:** lemon drops maybe?

 **GENJI:** Ok thats a better idea

 **GENJI:** I remember trying those do you remember hanzo

 **HANZO:** Which mix was this.

 **GENJI:** Vodka lemon juice and sugar

 **GENJI:** And stop not using question marks

 **HANZO:** Yes I remember.

 **HANZO:** They’re ok.

 **GENJI:** What do you mean theyre ok

 **GENJI:** You had so many

 **HANZO:** You ordered too many. Somebody had to drink them.

 **HANZO:** Your weak boyfriend at the time would not.

 **GENJI:** I always order too much because i dont know how much you are drinking

 **GENJI:** And he was never a big drinker you knew that

 **HANZO:** Fair.

 **MCCREE:** wow

 **MCCREE:** anyway

 **MCCREE:** who wants to bartend lets do it tomorrow night

 **TRACER:** it was usually liao who did it

 **MCCREE:** liao aint here

 **MCCREE:** lets get one of the new kids in

 **D.VA:** ill do it!

 **MCCREE:** yaint old enough to drink

 **MCCREE:** you can come to the party but no booze

 **D.VA:**

**PHARAH:** I’ll do it.

 **MCCREE:** perfect

 **MCCREE:**  @HANZO: its a date then

 **HANZO:** Ok.

 **MCCREE:** HE SAID OK

 **GENJI:** Jesse you poor soul

 **MCCREE:** IM HAVIN A GREAT NIGHT

 **GENJI:** You are going to die

 **MERCY:** Good thing I’ll be there. :)

 **TRACER:** and my camera!!

 **GENJI:** Haha yes true

 **D.VA:** this is def going on my snapchat story

 **LÚCIO:** sounds like it’ll be a fun party, i can’t wait!

 **D.VA:** yeah lets see what overwatch can do

 **TRACER:** bring people back from the dead :P

 **MERCY:** I’m only a miracle worker sometimes.

 **PHARAH:** Your work yesterday would suggest otherwise.

 **MERCY:** :)

 **MCCREE:** get a room

 **GENJI:** We have had to suffer through you openly lusting over my brother

 **GENJI:** And now you tell dr. ziegler and fareeha to get a room

 **MCCREE:** cmon now genji it was an EXPRESSION

 **PHARAH:** Don’t worry about it, you two. I look forward to spending time with all of you tomorrow in a proper Overwatch gathering.

 **PHARAH:** Even if that gathering is a party.

 **MCCREE:** aint you a sweet lil thing

 **PHARAH:** I’m taller than you, Jesse.

 **MCCREE:** I KNOW its just

 **PHARAH:** I know, Jesse.

 **MCCREE:** YEAH

 **GENJI:** Alright i will add this to the #announcements channel 

**\-- GENJI pinned a message to #ANNOUNCEMENTS: [GENJI: Party tomorrow in the big meeting room arrive no earlier than 11pm] --**

**REINHARDT:** technically, all of the channels should have a # in front of them.

 **TRACER:** but this isnt discord, love :P

 **REINHARDT:** it’s basically discord

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ was talking to [aven](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcaneAdagio/pseuds/ArcaneAdagio) about the horrible awful meme lines some of the heroes have which is what part of this log was based on. hanzo and zarya’s meme jokes are related to actual lines they have. terrifying, i know. symmetra’s comment is based on [this wonderful comic](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/146347899266/stabbo-one-whole-cake-meme), reinhardt’s comments are just based on him being born in 2015 so today’s classics/current jokes bring him nostalgia.
> 
> reinhardt references the protag of the [webcomic prequel](http://www.prequeladventure.com/), katia managan. prequel is an amazing webcomic please read it esp if you like tes
> 
> [NOW READ MORE HORRIBLE AWFUL MEME LINES](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7324573/chapters/17424589)


	12. LOG 9: PART 1/6: PARTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a VERY long log. almost the length of the entire fic as is. im splitting it up as i post, so i'll fix the '?' in the chapter titles when im done. it'll have quite a few parts, both from the group chat and DMs and stuff. _lone wolf meets coyote_ should be updating again soon enough as we approach the competitive off-season and end of the summer games event, which i've been working on. i'll also try to make future updates of THIS fic shorter. the party log got outta hand, but there's a lotta fun stuff here. enjoy! 
> 
> hover over foreign text for translations. it should work //

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @MORRISON & @REYES --**

**MORRSION:** do you remember that overwatch chat group?

 **REYES:** yes. i get the notifications.

 **REYES:** also. why are you typing in lowercase. that was my thing. still is.

 **REYES:** you cant have my thing.

 **MORRISON:** oh, suck it up. most people type in lowercase.

 **REYES:** ok. true.

 **REYES:** what about the chat group. you arent planning to talk in it are you.

 **MORRISON:** well, i think i kind of... have to?

 **REYES:** why.

 **MORRISON:** i rejoined overwatch.

 **REYES:** why.

 **MORRISON:** i needed the money. vigilantism doesn’t exactly pay off.

 **REYES:** ok. so what does that have to do with the chat group.

 **MORRISON:** winston expects me to talk in it. i’m with them as soldier: 76, not as jack morrison, but my name’s still ‘morrison’ because we can’t change them.

 **REYES:** so they dont know your identity.

 **REYES:** wouldnt winston need your dna for your id.

 **REYES:** theres a whole scan and everything.

 **REYES:** hair. skin. blood. fingerprints. eye. etcetera.

 **MORRISON:** i’ve been holding off on it.

 **REYES:** wow.

 **REYES:** you dug yourself into a pit.

 **REYES:** just tell him who you are.

 **MORRISON:** i don’t know if i’m ready to deal with it right now... the inevitable ‘why didn’t you call’ questions and everything.

 **REYES:** dios mío morrison. youre too old to be acting this childish.

 **MORRISON:** i know. i’m really tired right now. i’ll tell him, all of them, soon enough. but... not now. not right now.

 **MORRISON:** so do me a favour.

 **REYES:** i dont owe you shit.

 **MORRISON:** i know, reyes. it’s not about owing anyone anything, i guess i’m just... asking you for a favour.

 **MORRISON:** you’ll get to see genji again.

 **REYES:** fuck.

 **MORRISON:** it’s been awhile, hasn’t it?

 **REYES:** yeah.

 **REYES:** i miss him.

 **MORRISON:** i do, too. i mean, even if i didn’t have what you did with him.

 **MORRISON:** i’ll be honest, i miss everyone.

 **MORRISON:** did you ever tell him?

 **REYES:** tell him what.

 **MORRISON:** what he meant to you.

 **REYES:** he knew. he reads people well. its an uncanny ability of his.

 **MORRISON:** i think it’d mean a lot to him to hear it, though.

 **MORRISON:** jesse talked to me about it once, on a rough night. i dismissed it easily at the time, but now... it’s weird, thinking back on that conversation, it’s only now that it really strikes me as... anything much.

 **MORRISON:** he told me about how he thought genji always believed you loved me more. and i waved him off, took another sip of my beer.

 **REYES:** wow.

 **MORRISON:** i know it’s not true, because genji’s important, too. to both of us. i think jesse had a point, in a way, because he and genji have always been good friends. he probably knew if genji had that kind of... insecurity.

 **MORRISON:** jesse doesn’t act like he knows much, but he’s the type to watch, listen, and learn.

 **REYES:** he and genji probably knew about you and i before amari was even close to the fact.

 **MORRISON:** haha, yeah. that sounds about right.

 **MORRISON:** so you can sneak around easier than me. angela keeps her phone in her left pocket when she wears a jacket.

 **REYES:** you want me to steal her phone.

 **MORRISON:** it’d be easier than stealing genji’s, which might not be optimal because he’d detect you in an instant. unless you want to reveal yourself to him. same with winston and his phone.

 **MORRISON:** i can jam the systems long enough to get you in, thanks to an old trick liao taught me an eternity ago. they’re having a party tonight, so that should help your cover.

 **REYES:** fair enough.

 **REYES:** i like a challenge.

 **MORRISON:** so who’ll it be?

 **REYES:** like i said. i miss genji.

 **REYES:** i think ill go talk to him.

 **REYES:** while im bothering to make the trip and all.

 **MORRISON:** he definitely misses you, because he still talks about you.

 **MORRISON:** and...

 **MORRISON:** reyes.

 **REYES:** what is it.

 **MORRISON:** i love you.

 **REYES:** i love you too.

 **REYES:** bastard.

* * *

  **\-- SUB TO GENJI ON TWITCH.TV + WATCH HIM BEAT UP HIS BROTHER HANZO CHAT --**

 **GENJI:** Hm

**\-- GENJI renamed group from SUB TO GENJI ON TWITCH.TV + WATCH HIM BEAT UP HIS BROTHER HANZO CHAT to JESSE VS. HANZO PARTY CHAT --**

**GENJI:** Alright party people

 **GENJI:** I have purchased what lena eloquently described as ‘a shitton of booze’

 **TRACER:** hey it’s accurate!!

 **GENJI:** Yes that is true

 **GENJI:** @MCCREE: You can pay me back at the end of the night

 **MCCREE:** gotcha

 **MCCREE:** is winston coming he can be a party animal

 **MCCREE:** hahaha

 **GENJI:** I asked earlier and he said he had to go to bed early

 **MCCREE:** dang

 **GENJI:** Hes going to pick mei up from the airport

 **MCCREE:** ohh right cant wait to see her again

 **GENJI:** Same

 **TRACER:** i found the old competition shot glasses for tonight’s main event :P

 **TRACER:** they’ve got the overwatch logo on them!!

 **MCCREE:** i got a line of my own with the blackwatch logo

 **MCCREE:** ill bring em

 **TRACER:** wow i didnt know blackwatch had its own glasses too??

 **MCCREE:** it was an inside joke

 **MCCREE:** also reyes had a thing for shots

 **MCCREE:** i won the last competition blackwatch ever had but not against him

 **MCCREE:** got to keep the glasses though

 **GENJI:** Wow that is mildly grim

 **GENJI:** But im sure they look cool

 **MCCREE:** oh yeah they do

 **MCCREE:** [[blackwatch shotglasses.png]]

 **GENJI:** May i have one

 **MCCREE:** sure after i destroy your brother tonight

 **GENJI:** Your phrasing could have been better

 **MCCREE:** lets agree to disagree there

 **GENJI:** Sigh

 **GENJI:** Well i will be streaming the event

 **GENJI:** You can view the private stream in the #streaming channel

 **D.VA:** we have a streaming channel??

 **GENJI:** Uh

 **GENJI:** Well we do now i just created it

 **GENJI:** #stream is the channel name

 **GENJI:** You can connect your stream to it but for tonight it will play mine

 **GENJI:** Because my facecam is the best streaming camera

 **D.VA:** whoa like

 **D.VA:** your face is a camera?????

 **GENJI:** Yes

 **GENJI:** The camera used to be attached to my visor but dr. ziegler gave me some more enhancements

 **GENJI:** Long story short i can stream with my eyes and i will be doing so later tonight

 **D.VA:** okay that is SICK

 **D.VA:** im not even gonna ask how that works

 **GENJI:** Science probably

 **D.VA:** well yeah

 **TRACER:** ill go grab the snacks and then we can have ourselves a party :)

 **MCCREE:** lets get EXCITED yall

 **D.VA:** yeah maybe if you let me have a drink

 **GENJI:** No hana

 **GENJI:** You are not the legal american drinking age

 **D.VA:** i can drink in spain!!

 **GENJI:** Oh

 **GENJI:** Then i dont care

 **MCCREE:** yeah but i aint buyin for you

 **MCCREE:** nothin against you or your rude age jokes

 **D.VA:** oh suck it up

 **PHARAH:** The less time you spend arguing with Jesse, the better.

 **D.VA:** sound advice by the looks of it

 **MCCREE:** hey

 **PHARAH:** Hello.

 **MCCREE:** well youre not wrong

 **PHARAH:** I know.

 **LÚCIO:** does the room have something to play music on? i’ve got tunes. :)

 **GENJI:** Yes you can send a request from your phone to the bluetooth system

 **MCCREE:** but we had to disable the open access

 **MCCREE:** everyone kept changin the song and volume every five seconds

 **GENJI:** It got

 **GENJI:** Chaotic

 **MCCREE:** yeah were not allowed to do that anymore

 **MCCREE:** if you wanna play somethin itll be added to the playlist

 **MCCREE:** volume should be adjusted manually

 **TRACER:** i remember that time liao played a really loud song of his!

 **TRACER:** it was hilarious!!

 **MCCREE:** not for my ears

 **TRACER:** hahaha you could hear it halfway across the base

 **TRACER:** and this was before we had the pa system hooked up proper

 **MCCREE:** i was in the shower when it happened

 **MCCREE:** almost sprained my ankle when i fell

 **GENJI:** That is hilarious

 **MCCREE:** only in hindsight genji only in hindsight

 **GENJI:** I am sure it was equally hilarious when it happened

 **GENJI:** Just not for you

 **REINHARDT:** that was a great time for all of us.

 **REINHARDT:** until jack banned the open speaker system.

 **TRACER:** ahh but who could blame him

 **GENJI:** Not me

 **GENJI:** I know what he was doing when it happened

 **TRACER:** oh?

 **GENJI:** Yes

 **MCCREE:** was it gabriel

 **GENJI:** Yes

 **MCCREE:** fuckin knew it

 **GENJI:** To reyes’ credit he found it hilarious too

 **GENJI:** After the initial confusion reyes was still laughing and morrison stormed down to liaos room

 **MCCREE:** how dyou even know this

 **GENJI:** Reyes invited me in after morrison left

 **GENJI:** He didnt get to finish

 **GENJI:** Well he did after i got there

 **MCCREE:** i dont know why i asked

 **GENJI:** Its not like you are stranger to intimacy with either myself or reyes

 **MCCREE:** SHHHHH

 **MCCREE:** HEY

 **MCCREE:** WHATS IN THE PAST IS IN THE PAST

 **GENJI:** Yes yes i know jesse

 **GENJI:** You are trying to sleep with my brother

 **GENJI:** If it matters to you

 **GENJI:** He will not care

 **MCCREE:** i dunno theres still

 **MCCREE:** somethin weird about airin it all out yknow

 **GENJI:** Oh you are shy

 **GENJI:** I understand

 **MCCREE:** i aint SHY

 **GENJI:** Sure jesse

 **MCCREE:** i dont CARE ill tell the whole damn chat

 **MCCREE:** @EVERYONE: HEY I SLEPT WITH GENJI AND MY SUPERIOR OFFICER GABRIEL REYES

 **GENJI:** Jesse what are you doing

 **MCCREE:** provin a point

 **GENJI:** This was wholly unnecessary

 **SYMMETRA:** We did not need to know that.

 **MERCY:** But admittedly, it is interesting.

 **MCCREE:** yep im a pretty interesting man

 **SYMMETRA:** We really did not need to know that, though. Nobody is going to judge you for keeping your private affairs as they should be.

 **SYMMETRA:** Which is to say: private.

 **MCCREE:** well now you know

 **PHARAH:** Is there a reason you had to alert all of us?

 **MCCREE:** uh

 **MCCREE:** no not really

 **PHARAH:** I will choose to forgive you.

 **MCCREE:** thanks fareeha youre more merciful than your mother

 **PHARAH:** She could be quite ruthless, from what I’ve heard.

 **TRACER:** she had a knack for tellin everyone off! especially gabe :P

 **PHARAH:** That sounds about right.

 **D.VA:** @MCCREE: why!! why did you tell us that!!!

 **MCCREE:** listen it seemed like a good idea at the time

 **MCCREE:** or just

 **MCCREE:** maybe not a good idea but

 **MCCREE:** sometimes you just gotta give in to your impulses

 **MCCREE:** even if that impulse is ‘tell the entire overwatch group chat about your sex life’

 **D.VA:** i really didnt need the mental image pops

 **MCCREE:** yeah dont think too much about it

 **HANZO:** Why was I notified.

 **MCCREE:** hey hanzo is it weird i had sex with your brother

 **HANZO:** No.

 **MCCREE:** wow @GENJI you were right he really doesnt care

 **GENJI:** I told you

 **HANZO:** But that does not answer my question.

 **MCCREE:** i did @ and EVERYONE so it notifies everyone in the group

 **HANZO:** I see.

 **MCCREE:** are you comin to the party room or not

 **HANZO:** It is only 10:48.

 **HANZO:** I am at the target practice range. I will be there later.

 **MCCREE:** target practice?? ill join ya sometime

 **HANZO:** Ok.

 **GENJI:** Wow hanzo you are really warming up to overwatch

 **GENJI:** Youve typed more in this chat than i expected

 **HANZO:** That is what I will do when my phone is notified so often.

 **GENJI:** You can turn notifications off

 **MCCREE:** but dont cause what if were on the field

 **MCCREE:** and theres an important message

 **GENJI:** Shut up jesse you just want him to pay attention to you

 **MCCREE:** let me live my life genji

 **JUNKRAT:** WHO PINGED ME

 **GENJI:** ‘MCCREE: @EVERYONE: HEY I SLEPT WITH GENJI AND MY SUPERIOR OFFICER GABRIEL REYES’

 **JUNKRAT:** OH

 **JUNKRAT:** OK I DONT CARE BYE

 **MCCREE:** wait

 **MCCREE:** are you comin to the party

 **JUNKRAT:** YEAH ILL BE THERE LATER

 **JUNKRAT:** ITLL BE FUN RIGHT

 **MCCREE:** thats the general idea of having a party

 **MCCREE:** i want as many people as possible to witness me winning against hanzo

 **HANZO:** You really are foolish.

 **MCCREE:** you just wait

 **MCCREE:** ive gotten better at holdin my alcohol

 **MCCREE:** ill show yall

 **HANZO:** Sure.

 **REINHARDT:** will we be transcribing the party in the chat for posterity?

 **TRACER:** of course! i wont be the only one recording but for anyone who doesnt come...

 **TRACER:** the chats perfect for a quick catch up read :)

 **PHARAH:** Then everyone can look back on this one day, and marvel at the wonders of Overwatch.

 **MERCY:** I can’t wait.

 **MERCY:** I hope this piece of our legacy survives the ashes.

 **PHARAH:** Yes. Jesse’s misguided drinking challenge to Hanzo.

 **MERCY:** May he avoid alcohol poisoning and death.

 **MCCREE:** amen

 **MCCREE:** now how bout someone who has a lil faith in me talk for once

 **MEI:** I’m sure you can do it, Jesse!

 **MCCREE:** aw thanks mei

 **MEI:** Try not to die.

 **MCCREE:** aw thanks mei

 **MCCREE:** ill try my hardest just for you

 **MEI:** Don’t do it for me. Do it for the internal organs you’re slowly ruining.

 **MCCREE:** harsh but fair warnin i spose

 **ZARYA:** Both of you, be strong.

 **MCCREE:** hey im plenty strong

 **ZARYA:** I look forward to watching the event.

 **MCCREE:** hey yeah

 **MCCREE:** anyone takin bets?

 **TRACER:** uhh these odds arent pretty love

 **TRACER:** id love to see peoples bets for mercy and hanzo though!!

 **MERCY:** Hmm. As would I.

 **HANZO:** And myself.

 **TRACER:** we can leave that for another time!

 **TRACER:** lets humour jess for once, okay loves? :P

 **MERCY:** Yes, of course.

 **TRACER:** if anyone wants to help me pour chips into bowls ill be in the room!

 **LÚCIO:** sure!

 **PHARAH:** I finished my workout and post-workout shower early, so I’ll help.

 **MERCY:** I’ll come help.

 **D.VA:** ill be there after this boss fight!!

 **REINHARDT:** @D.VA: whatre you playing?

 **D.VA:** some games from your age pops

 **D.VA:** working on the dark souls series

 **D.VA:** fighting the wolf sif

 **REINHARDT:** you monster.

 **D.VA:** hey its part of the game!! i gotta do what i gotta do

 **D.VA:** even if that means killing this boss

 **REINHARDT:** id join, but im spotting for zarya.

 **ZARYA:** I will be done soon enough.

 **TRACER:** no worries loves!

 **REINHARDT:** while i’m in the chat, though

 **REINHARDT:** @MCCREE: we didn’t need to know that

 **MCCREE:** i can feel yall judging me

 **MCCREE:** i dont deserve your judgment

 **REINHARDT:** we deserved better than to be told about. that.

 **MCCREE:** scroll past it reinhardt just dont look at it

 **REINHARDT:** i fear your words will be permanently seared into my eyes.

 **D.VA:** LOL DAMN

 **MCCREE:** harsh

 **REINHARDT:** anyway, water break’s over, see you all later.

 **D.VA:** see ya pops

 **MCCREE:** are you gonna call all the guys ‘pops’

 **D.VA:** uhh no??

 **D.VA:** just the old dudes

 **D.VA:** i thought that was obvious pops

 **MCCREE:** i aint your pop

 **MCCREE:** i aint anybodys pop

 **MCCREE:** i cant take care of a kid

 **D.VA:** oh my god!! whatever! youre still pops

 **D.VA:** the only one who doesnt have to be pops is @HANZO

 **MCCREE:** whys that

 **D.VA:** hes just too pretty

 **MCCREE:** fair point

 **D.VA:** not sayin that the rest of you arent pretty

 **D.VA:** but hes on a whole other level dontcha think

 **MCCREE:** yeah actually we can agree there

 **D.VA:** good!

 **D.VA:** oh hey @SYMMETRA are you comin to the party? you totally should!!

 **SYMMETRA:** I apologize, but I am working at the moment.

 **SYMMETRA:** With the resident engineer, though I must admit I am not fond of him.

 **D.VA:** omg that vague

 **TORBJÖRN:** Rude.

 **D.VA:** OMGGGG

 **MCCREE:** lord almighty

 **SYMMETRA:** Ah. I see you are not as focused on the diagrams as you were pretending to be.

 **TORBJÖRN:** None of your business.

 **SYMMETRA:** I did not say it was.

 **TORBJÖRN:** I’ll take another look at your diagram, but I still think mine is better.

 **SYMMETRA:** Hm. Sure.

 **D.VA:** nerd fight nerd fight!!

 **D.VA:** love you satya  <3

 **SYMMETRA:** Thank you for the support, Hana.

 **SYMMETRA:** Perhaps I will celebrate with the group another time, though I will make no promises.

 **D.VA:** thats ok!! whenever you feel like it and arent busy

 **D.VA:** no rush  <3

 **D.VA:** ok sifs almost dead brb

 **D.VA:** its been a brutal boss fight and she fought hard

 **D.VA:** but itll all be over soon

 **MCCREE:** christ

 **MCCREE:** alright see you later

 **MCCREE:** hey genji hasnt tormented me in a while whered he go


	13. LOG 9: PART 2/6: PARTY

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @MORRISON & @REYES --**

**REYES:** in position.

 **MORRISON:** okay good, me too.

 **MORRISON:** winston should be asleep by now.

 **REYES:** should i tell genji you said hi.

 **MORRISON:** i’ll talk to the others myself when it’s time.

 **REYES:** ok.

 **MORRISON:** i hope athena doesn’t take this too personally.

 **REYES:** itll be fine.

 **MORRISON:** alright, done. answer the voice call.

 **MORRISON:** time to move.

 **REYES:** roger.

* * *

**\-- JESSE VS. HANZO PARTY CHAT --**

**MCCREE:** @GENJI

 **MCCREE:** i know youre not too busy to reply cause you are a technology

 **MCCREE:** @GENJI

 **MCCREE:** @GENJI

 **MCCREE:** this is pointless aint it

 **GENJI:** Hhjbg

 **MCCREE:** oh hey whereve you been

 **MCCREE:** you brought in the bottles stepped outta the room and

 **MCCREE:** uhh i think you were still in the chat

 **MCCREE:** but then you hopped out??

 **GENJI:** Yes

 **GENJI:** Funny story

 **MCCREE:** i like funny stories tell me about it

 **GENJI:** There

 **MCCREE:** ooh good start

 **GENJI:** what were you going to say.

 **MCCREE:** wh

 **MCCREE:** i werent gonna say nothin youre the one who had a ‘funny story’

 **MCCREE:** also whyre you

 **MCCREE:** typin like that

 **MCCREE:** uh

 **MCCREE:** this some kinda joke??

 **GENJI:** no.

 **MCCREE:** alright genji

 **MCCREE:** youre startin to unsettle me here

 **MCCREE:** did you just reboot or somethin?

 **MCCREE:** ill help you out: you were gonna start your story with ‘there’

 **MCCREE:** im sure its uphill from... there

 **MCCREE:** heh

 **GENJI:** wow.

 **MCCREE:** hey cmon dont give me the gabriel treatment genji

 **GENJI:** alright. why dont i finish that sentence for him.

 **GENJI:** theres currently a cock up my ass. so why dont you fuck off.

 **MCCREE:** that story wasnt funny

 **MCCREE:** shit it werent hardly a story at all

 **MCCREE:** youre scarin me a lil here

* * *

**\-- AUTOMATIC VOICE CALL TRANSCRIPT: @MORRISON & @REYES --**

**MORRISON:** [Can you hurry it up?]

 **REYES:** [Hold on.]

 **REYES:** [I haven’t seen him in years. You can wait.]

 **MORRISON:** [You do realize I can hear him, right? And you too, sort of.]

 **MORRISON:** [How did you manage to get into his metaphorical pants so quickly?]

 **REYES:** [Didn’t take long for him to recognize me.]

 **REYES:** [Sorry if this is loud.]

 **MORRISON:** [It’s nothing I haven’t heard before, so it’d be pointless to complain.]

 **MORRISON:** [Kudos on being able to really go at it, though.]

 **REYES:** [Like age was going to slow us down.]

 **MORRISON:** [That crap they pumped into us had to be good for something.]

 **REYES:** [Exactly.]

 **REYES:** [We’re almost done here.]

 **MORRISON:** [Just remember to change my name. Yours too, if you want.]

 **MORRISON:** [No rush or anything.]

 **MORRISON:** [That was sarcasm, by the way.]

 **REYES:** [Hilarious. I’m laughing.]

 **MORRISON:** [I can still hear you, and I know you’re not laughing. There are a lot of other noises I can hear, though.]

 **REYES:** [Consider it a gift from us to you.]

 **MORRISON:** [How thoughtful.]

 **REYES:** [[Hello, Morrison!]]

 **MORRISON:** [Oh my god.]

 **REYES:** [[Were you trying to stay undercover? Sorry, but I can hear you from Reyes’ earpiece, haha.]]

 **MORRISON:** [Hey, Genji. It’s nice to talk to you again, even if that’s over a voice call while you’re having sex.]

 **REYES:** [[Well it’s just the three of us here, so it’s not that weird, is it?]]

 **MORRISON:** [No, I guess not. Just like old times, really.]

 **REYES:** _[[Ah, fuck!]]_

 **REYES:** [Shit.]

 **REYES:** [[We... need to clean that up.]]

 **MORRISON:** [Christ. Speed it up, will you?]

 **REYES:** [[We finished in ten minutes, Morrison. For us, that is _extremely_ quick.]]

 **MORRISON:** [I know, Genji.]

 **MORRISON:** [Hurry up and change my name, will you?]

 **REYES:** [[Reyes has my phone.]]

 **REYES:** [I’m changing it now.]

 **MORRISON:** [Okay, good.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Thanks.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [I might join the party.]

 **REAPER:** [Yeah, because that’s a brilliant idea.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Shut it.]

 **REAPER:** [[No, come drink with us! You’ll get to laugh at everyone acting drunk and stupid.]]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Thanks for the offer, Genji. I’ll think about it.]

 **REAPER:** [If you’re not logged into the ID system, I don’t think you can get in. I’ll be out soon, before Athena wakes up and tells Winston I’m intruding.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Shit. Almost forgot about that.]

 **REAPER:** [[Do you think you two were removed from the system after your ‘deaths’?]]

 **REAPER:** [[Reyes-]]

 **REAPER:** [Seriously, just call me Gabriel or Gabe.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Aww, he gave you the ‘Gabe’ option.]

 **REAPER:** [It’s a privilege for the people I fuck.]

 **REAPER:** [[Alright, alright. Gabe, even if Winston or another administrator wanted to clear you from the system, don’t you think there’s one person who would’ve kept you there? Perhaps not out of the clearest foresight, as you are now working for the enemy, but...]]

 **REAPER:** [Shit. You’re right.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Angela.]

 **REAPER:** [She knows we’re alive. Or at least has a suspicion, if nothing else.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Athena will know we’re there, though.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [We can’t keep her on Sleep Mode forever.]

 **REAPER:** [She’ll have to tell Winston if we drop in.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Especially if  _you_ drop in, traitor.]

 **REAPER:** [Details, details.]

 **REAPER:** [[Ahh, I missed you both so much. Try not to die again, okay?]]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [I’ll try, Genji.]

 **REAPER:** [Me too.]

 **REAPER:** [Fuck, if Liao was here, he’d work us in easily. He’d pull some tech shit.]

 **REAPER:** [[It’s just a party, Gabe. We’ll have other parties.]]

 **REAPER:** [Yeah but I want to watch your brother out-drink Jesse.]

 **REAPER:** [The kid’s way in over his head.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [We can always watch Lena and Genji’s post-party videos.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [...But it’s not the same.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Sneaking around is a pain.]

 **REAPER:** [It really is.]

 **REAPER:** [[Why don’t I talk to Athena?]]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [You think you can reason with her? How?]

 **REAPER:** [[I’ll make her a deal and get Winston to eat healthier. And if you two don’t cause trouble, she’ll have no reason to break it. We’ll just let the party get going, and then I’m sure she’ll be hard-pressed to say no.]]

 **REAPER:** [Wow, that’s perfect.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Yeah, she’ll be fine with that. Good idea, Genji.]

 **REAPER:** [[Now we just have to hope she trusts me, haha. Though I admit, I find it strange nobody has taken notice of activity coming from both of your accounts in this chat client.]]

 **REAPER:** [[It is rather suspicious and... I will not imply anything, but I am sure the logs between you two are plenty damning.]]

 **REAPER:** [Won’t lie, they are.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [I doubt Winston’s poking into our logs or monitoring chat activity. There’s already so damn much of it as is.]

 **REAPER:** [[That’s true!]]

 **REAPER:** [Everyone talks a lot. Adding whatever personal chats take place is a lot of chats.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Anyway, the program probably didn’t give Winston a detailed enough error message when he tried to add me to the group chat and it failed. If it did, it would’ve told him I’m already in the group. So maybe user activity isn’t something he has access to, or it’s something he hasn’t bothered setting up.]

 **REAPER:** [[You are overthinking this, you know.]]

 **REAPER:** [Better safe than sorry.]

 **REAPER:** [[The first thing you did when you infiltrated the Overwatch base was reveal yourself to me then proceed to have sex with me, so you can’t really be the one to talk there.]]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Hahaha wow, Genji.]

 **REAPER:** [Never change.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Ana taught you well.]

 **REAPER:** [[Yes, I’ve wounded Jesse’s ego plenty of times with the aid of her teachings.]]

 **REAPER:** [[Now get going, Gabe!]]

 **REAPER:** [Repositioning.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Augh, fuck! You teleported onto my foot, you bastard!]

 **REAPER:** [I wish Genji could see this.]

* * *

**\-- JESSE VS. HANZO PARTY CHAT --**

**MCCREE:** goddammit genji

 **MCCREE:** we need you here even hanzos already here

 **MCCREE:** say hi to your brother @HANZO

 **HANZO:** No thank you.

 **MCCREE:** okay then whatever you feel like

 **MCCREE:** @GENJI: come back

 **MCCREE:** it aint a party without you

 **MCCREE:** i mean itll still be a party but not the same

 **GENJI:** Oops

 **MCCREE:** genji!!

 **GENJI:** Sorry i was

 **GENJI:** Occupied

 **MCCREE:** what happened??

 **MCCREE:** you said you had a funny story then uh

 **GENJI:** Oh

 **GENJI:** Yes i just processed the above chat log

 **GENJI:** Uh

 **GENJI:** Ok allow me to continue my funny story

 **MCCREE:** cool go on

 **GENJI:** There is

 **GENJI:** Was

 **GENJI:** There was a cock up my ass

 **GENJI:** That is why i did not reply sooner

 **MCCREE:** wh

 **MCCREE:** thats the same story as before but you just typed it less like gabriel

 **GENJI:** Ah yes well

 **GENJI:** That is because when i am engaged in sexual intercourse i type

 **GENJI:** Like gabriel

 **GENJI:** Exactly like him

 **GENJI:** And also not always in first person

 **GENJI:** That is why i said i would finish the story ‘for him’

 **GENJI:** Hahaha

 **MCCREE:** the hellre you goin on about

 **MCCREE:** dunno how you could forget but weve HAD sex

 **MCCREE:** you were live tweetin the whole fuckin time to your filthy side account

 **MCCREE:** it was all ‘Guess who is in a threesome again’

 **MCCREE:** then ‘I am being fucked by jesse’ followed by ‘Now im being fucked by reyes’

 **MCCREE:** you were still typin like yourself though

 **GENJI:** Wow

 **GENJI:** I almost forgot i had that account

 **MCCREE:** whyre you lyin to me

 **GENJI:** Ok to be honest my partner took my phone

 **MCCREE:** but... you ARE a technology

 **GENJI:** Some background processes are better shut off when you are having sex jesse

 **GENJI:** I do not expect a mere human such as yourself to fully grasp this

 **MCCREE:** well shit

 **GENJI:** Phones are convenient even for omnics and cyborgs

 **GENJI:** Do not be irreverent

 **MCCREE:** hey i wasnt tryin to be

 **MCCREE:** apparently it just sorta happened

 **MCCREE:** you comin back to party or not

 **GENJI:** I am on my way right now

 **GENJI:** I can hear the music from down the hall who turned up the speaker system that is not allowed

 **LÚCIO:** sorry, that’s ‘cause of my amplifiers!

 **LÚCIO:** lena helped me hook them up. :)

 **TRACER:** yeah they make the party sound a lot more fun!!

 **GENJI:** Remember to be mindful of the old people

 **TRACER:** err you dont mean yourself do you?

 **GENJI:** Lena i dont have ears

 **TRACER:** haha just checking!

 **D.VA:** he probably meant @MCCREE

 **MCCREE:** how many times do i gotta tell you i aint old fore you get it

 **D.VA:** ㅈㅅ

 **D.VA:** i cant hear you over the music!!

 **MCCREE:** were typing

 **MCCREE:** i can see you looking down at your phone across the room

 **D.VA:** what was that???

 **MCCREE:** man i dont need to see the smug look on your face

 **GENJI:** Gabe would be laughing so much right now at your indignance

 **MCCREE:** hed be laughin at me regardless

 **MCCREE:** hold on

 **MCCREE:** did you just call him ‘gabe’??

 **GENJI:** Shit

 **MCCREE:** youve only called him captain reyes or reyes

 **MCCREE:** why the sudden change

 **MERCY:** Perhaps his recent tryst made him reconsider.

 **MCCREE:** yeah i aint buyin it angie

 **MCCREE:** shit even gabriel himself said itd take him two lifetimes to get genji to call him by his first name

 **MCCREE:** who the hell were you fuckin genji how many times did you finish

 **MCCREE:** did you do that thing where you have to reboot yourself and youre just recoverin

 **GENJI:** No i

 **GENJI:** I was

 **GENJI:** Um

 **GENJI:** I was fucking a ghost

 **MCCREE:** a ghost

 **GENJI:** Yes a ghost

 **MCCREE:** i give up on questionin you for tonight

 **PHARAH:** A wise decision.

 **MCCREE:** where were yall for my entire exchange with genji earlier anyway

 **TRACER:** it didnt seem like a conversation to interrupt...

 **MCCREE:** yeah true

 **MCCREE:** what happened with me and genji is between me and genji

 **MCCREE:** and gabriel

 **MCCREE:** and jack

 **MCCREE:** probably angela too in a way

 **MCCREE:** maybe also hanzo

 **HANZO:** No. Do not involve me.

 **MCCREE:** ok not hanzo

 **MCCREE:** but also you and liao and most of blackwatch if we wanna get into the details

 **TRACER:** just because genji and i slept together ONCE doesnt mean we’re involved!!

 **MCCREE:** details lena

 **MCCREE:** details

 **GENJI:** You have not even started to drink and yet the secrets spill out

 **MCCREE:** genji it aint a secret you fucked everyone

 **GENJI:** Perhaps not but that does not mean you had to remind the whole group

 **MCCREE:** aw it aint matter now no more anyway

 **MCCREE:** nobody ever did you like gabriel did

 **GENJI:** Yes that is correct

 **GENJI:** It is different i think

 **GENJI:** When you love the person

 **GENJI:** Its more than just having fun

 **MCCREE:** that was really deep

 **GENJI:** Haha like your mentors cock in my ass

 **MCCREE:** genji

 **TRACER:** you walked right into that one love

 **MCCREE:** i disagree and i blame him

 **HANZO:** Stop worrying about Genji’s sex life we have to take these shots.

 **MCCREE:** fuck

 **MCCREE:** sorry handsome i got sidetracked

 **MERCY:** And who can fault Jesse for being pulled into Genji’s labrythine sex life?

 **MCCREE:** nobody thats who

 **GENJI:** You do not know hanzo he will fault you for anything

 **HANZO:** Cowboy. I will blame you for my sobriety.

 **MCCREE:** yaint need to drink all the time hanzo thats no good

 **HANZO:** I do not.

 **HANZO:** But I was planning to tonight so do not let me down just because you cannot pay Genji back for the drinks.

 **MCCREE:** oh right

 **MCCREE:** i said i was gonna get us all drunk

 **MCCREE:** alright alright

 **MCCREE:** @EVERYONE its call time

 **MCCREE:** hop in


	14. LOG 9: PART 3/6: PARTY

**\-- AUTOMATIC VOICE CALL TRANSCRIPT: JESSE VS. HANZO PARTY CHAT --**

**MCCREE:** [Fareeha, line ‘em up.]

 **PHARAH:** [I have been ready for twenty minutes, Jesse.]

 **MCCREE:** [Sorry, I was occupied.]

 **PHARAH:** [Yes, I saw the chat.]

 **MCCREE:** [Aw shit, you saw _all_  of that?]

 **MERCY:** [I believe most of the group did.]

 **MERCY:** [You sent quite a few messages, though. I was tempted to skip them all.]

 **MERCY:** [Then you mentioned me.]

 **MCCREE:** [Yeah, about that...]

 **MERCY:** [You will pay for it on the battlefield the next time we’re on opposing teams. Tonight, we’re here to enjoy ourselves.]

 **MCCREE:** [Thanks for the, uh, mercy. Heh.]

 **MERCY:** [Do not make me regret it, Jesse.]

 **MCCREE:** [Shutting up now.]

 **D.VA:** [It’s party time!]

 **D.VA:** [Can I order pizza?]

 **MERCY:** [Yes.]

 **D.VA:** [Awesome! DM me the toppings you love and hate. I’ll do my best to coordinate with them.]

 **LÚCIO:** [Ooh, sounds good!]

 **REINHARDT:** [Whoever added Rihanna’s ‘Pon de Replay’ to the playlist... thank you.]

 **LÚCIO:** [Was it you?]

 **REINHARDT:** [No, but I had other recommendations.]

 **GENJI:** [It was me.]

 **REINHARDT:** [You have good taste.]

 **GENJI:** [Thank you, Reinhardt.]

 **GENJI:** [And thank you for pouring, Fareeha.]

 **PHARAH:** [No problem.]

 **GENJI:** [Okay Lena, is your camera ready?]

 **TRACER:** [Yep!]

 **D.VA:** [Hold on, hold on, let me hook my tablet up to my stream...]

 **MERCY:** [I wonder if we’ll be arrested for streaming this.]

 **REINHARDT:** [This doesn’t have to be an Overwatch gathering. It’s just a party.]

 **MERCY:** [Yes, but...]

 **REINHARDT:** [Everyone’s dressed in their civilian clothes, Angela. Let’s not worry too much about it.]

 **MERCY:** [If you say so.]

 **D.VA:** [There we go!]

 **D.VA:** [Hey, everyone! Like I said in several posts, a group of _friends_  and I are about to get fucked up.]

 **GENJI:** [You are not permitted to drink, Hana.]

 **D.VA:** [Whatever! Point is, we’re gonna watch this cowboy - say hi! -]

 **MCCREE:** [Howdy.]

 **D.VA:** [-and this samurai - say hi! -]

 **HANZO:** [Hello.]

 **D.VA:** [-Take shots! Open the strawpoll linked below if you wanna guess who’ll win the competition. Mr. Samurai’s brother, Cyborg Ninja, says he already knows the outcome. We’ll see if he’s right!]

 **GENJI:** [Hana, I’ve consumed plenty of alcohol with both of these people. I know the outcome.]

 **D.VA:** [Yeah, well don’t spoil it for our viewers!]

 **LÚCIO:** [Oh, man. Hello to everyone at home.]

 **JUNKRAT:** [Hey, random people! We’re all gonna die!]

 **D.VA:** [Don’t say that, Jamie!]

 **JUNKRAT:** [Jamie??]

 **D.VA:** [Your name’s Jamison, isn’t it?]

 **JUNKRAT:** [Yeah, but nobody calls me that.]

 **D.VA:** [That’s why I’m calling you Jamie. Y’know, like a nickname?]

 **JUNKRAT:** [But it doesn’t sound as cool.]

 **D.VA:** [Aw, I think it sounds plenty cool.]

 **JUNKRAT:** [Thanks! I think.]

 **D.VA:** [Remember to check out Lúcio’s tunes, everyone! Mods Jayu, Muli, and Bin, link his YouTube, Bandcamp, and Soundcloud if you’d be so kind.]

 **LÚCIO:** [How many mods do you have, Hana?]

 **D.VA:** [I also have mods Nalgae, Simjang, and Yusan present tonight. I’ll mod you later!]

 **LÚCIO:** [Haha, thanks! That means a lot.]

 **GENJI:** [Is your audience settled, Hana?]

 **D.VA:** [The chat’s really going. There are a lot of bets for both Jesse and Hanzo!]

 **HANZO:** [Wonderful. Can we get started yet.]

 **GENJI:** [Even the automatic voice transcript didn’t transcribe a question mark for your words there. Stop not using question marks!]

 **HANZO:** [It’s not a big deal.]

 **GENJI:** [That’s what you think. It’s different because I’m hooked up to the chat and have to _see_  it.]

 **MCCREE:** [Ain’t time for an argument at a party, you two. Let’s get this show on the road.]

 **D.VA:** [Yeah!!]

 **D.VA:** [Stream’s excited, too.]

 **GENJI:** [Alright, alright. Take your seats.]

 **HANZO:** [I have been seated for a while.]

 **MCCREE:** [Sittin’.]

 **GENJI:** [Ready?]

 **GENJI:** [Go!]

 **HANZO:** [Easy.]

 **MCCREE:** [One down.]

 **MCCREE:** [Oh, you’re lookin’ a li’l shaken up there, handsome.]

 **HANZO:** [No I am not.]

 **GENJI:** [Nice shutdown, brother.]

 **HANZO:** [Ok.]

 **D.VA:** [Hey Hanzo, one of the stream viewers has a question.]

 **HANZO:** [What is it.]

 **GENJI:** [Again with the lack of question marks!]

 **D.VA:** [Prestigegod420 says: ‘Can I get the samurai’s number? He’s hot.’]

 **HANZO:** [No.]

 **D.VA:** [He said no, Prestigegod.]

 **D.VA:** [Prestigegod420 would like to request to be your sugar daddy. Well, them and about a hundred other people also saying the same in the chat now...]

 **HANZO:** [No.]

 **GENJI:** [Hanzo, do you even know what that means?]

 **HANZO:** [Yes, I heard Lena joking about it at lunch yesterday when she thought I wasn’t listening.]

 **TRACER:** [Hehe, oops.]

 **MCCREE:** [Hey Hanzo, be my sugar daddy instead.]

 **HANZO:** [Why are you like this.]

 **MCCREE:** [Good question, darlin’.]

 **GENJI:** [Surely you are not surprised?]

 **HANZO:** [I am not.]

 **D.VA:** [Wow, these are some inappropriate comments in here.]

 **MCCREE:** [Hey, lemme see.]

 **D.VA:** [No! A lot of them are directed to you.]

 **MCCREE:** [Okay, I’m openin’ your stream chat.]

 **D.VA:** [Augh! Jesse, please!]

 **GENJI:** [Where are you streaming? Not on Twitch, right?]

 **D.VA:** [That’s only for games, Genji.]

 **GENJI:** [Only if they catch you.]

 **D.VA:** [What’re you talking about?]

 **TRACER:** [Genji was streaming his fight against Hanzo on Twitch!]

 **D.VA:** [You... what now?]

 **HANZO:** [Unbelievable.]

 **GENJI:** [Don’t complain now, Hanzo. I brought it up before. There were quite a few viewers on Twitch, but cross-posting to Reddit gave the YouTube recording many likes. And you should see the upvotes on the post.]

 **HANZO:** [But I forgot to reprimand you for it the first time you mentioned it.]

 **GENJI:** [You are _not_  lecturing me at a party.]

 **HANZO:** [We shall see.]

 **GENJI:** [You’re the worst.]

 **HANZO:** [I know.]

 **MERCY:** [Wow, you’re really strong...]

 **PHARAH:** [Thank you. I work out.]

 **MERCY:** [Feeling your arms, I can really tell.]

 **GENJI:** [Uh, Dr. Ziegler?]

 **MERCY:** [This explains how you are able to wield your rocket launcher with ease.]

 **PHARAH:** [I appreciate it, Dr. Ziegler. I always feel stronger with you at my side.]

 **GENJI:** [Fareeha?]

 **MERCY:** [Oh! Haha, that’s very sweet! And please, call me Angela. Or Angie, if you’d like.]

 **GENJI:** [Both of you...]

 **MERCY:** [Perhaps we should continue this conversation outside...?]

 **PHARAH:** [Though I would love to, I promised to pour the drinks for this drinking competition.]

 **GENJI:** [Are either of you listening?]

 **MERCY:** [ Scheisse. I should be on standby as well, in case Jesse oversteps his limits.]

 **PHARAH:** [Another time.]

 **MERCY:** [Yes, I’d like that.]

 **GENJI:** [Angela!]

 **MERCY:** [Yes, Genji?]

 **GENJI:** [We heard that entire conversation.]

 **MERCY:** [Oh dear, you... the whole group...?]

 **GENJI:** [The automatic voice call transcript. Both of you are in the call.]

 **TRACER:** [Aww, what a cute exchange!]

 **MERCY:** [Aah!! I forgot to mute the microphone on my earpiece!]

 **MERCY:** [Can we... delete transcripts?]

 **GENJI:** [No, Dr. Ziegler. They’re automatically transcribed in the appropriate channel.]

 **MERCY:**  [Verdammt.]

 **PHARAH:** [Don’t worry about it, Angela. I have no qualms about what I’ve said.]

 **TRACER:** [Well, you always did like her!]

 **PHARAH:** [Lena!]

 **GENJI:** [Subarashii...]

 **MERCY:** [Oh my, is that so?]

 **PHARAH:** [I-]

 **MCCREE:** [I’m surprised you never noticed, Angela.]

 **GENJI:** [It does not take a detective to figure out why, Jesse.]

 **MCCREE:** [Hey, that’s only ‘cause we gossiped about it plenty.]

 **PHARAH:** [I remember that, actually. She was rather fond of my mother.]

 **MERCY:** [I-]

 **HANZO:** [You can bother Angela later.]

 **MCCREE:** [Right, we’ve still got shots to take.]

 **PHARAH:** [Yes, yes, of course... Hold on, let me pour.]

 

* * *

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @MERCY & @HANZO --**

**MERCY:** Thank you for that.

 **HANZO:** Do not mention it.

 **MERCY:** They all get... rather persistent, do they not?

 **HANZO:** I have noticed.

 **MERCY:** So you must’ve noticed Jesse’s advances as well.

 **HANZO:** He has made quite a few jokes yes.

 **MERCY:** Oh.

 **MERCY:** Oh dear.

 **HANZO:** Is something the matter.

 **HANZO:** ?

 **MERCY:** Ah... aside from the oddness of you not using question marks, well.

 **HANZO:** Apparently that is an issue.

 **MERCY:** No, but as the others have stated, the former Captain Gabriel Reyes typed similarly.

 **MERCY:** Your styles both lack question marks, and that is rather noticeable.

 **HANZO:** I see.

 **MERCY:** That’s not important, though.

 **MERCY:** Your brother and Jesse can sort that out themselves, and it is not your fault they connect you to Gabriel.

 **MERCY:** What I feel is more worth your attention would be...

 **MERCY:** Well.

 **MERCY:** Jesse isn’t joking around with you.

 **MERCY:** That’s just how he flirts.

 **HANZO:** I find that hard to believe.

 **HANZO:** I’ve met people like him before.

 **MERCY:** Yes, I understand he acts a certain way when others are around.

 **MERCY:** Rather aloof.

 **MERCY:** Then in places like the group chat or at the cafeteria table, he’s... silly.

 **HANZO:** That is putting it lightly.

 **MERCY:** I mean it, though. I wouldn’t joke about something like this.

 **MERCY:** I’ve seen it before.

 **HANZO:** Have you now.

 **MERCY:** Yes, in fact. It’s easy for me to be sure of it now.

 **MERCY:** He had a crush on your brother once, you know.

 **MERCY:** Among others.

 **MERCY:** His behaviour is hardly different today.

 **MERCY:** As for him and Genji, things wouldn’t have gone down that path for them. Romance, I mean. Genji would never love anyone more than Gabriel.

 **HANZO:** I see.

 **MERCY:** Oh, this is getting too serious. I apologize.

 **HANZO:** Do not.

 **MERCY:** Well, perhaps you can see Jesse’s comments as something more now.

 **MERCY:** Whether you choose to reciprocate is up to you.

 **MERCY:** Perhaps it would be a positive experience?

 **MERCY:** You’re being summoned.

 **HANZO:** Am I.

 **MERCY:** Look up, Hanzo.

 

* * *

 

**\-- AUTOMATIC VOICE CALL TRANSCRIPT: JESSE VS. HANZO PARTY CHAT --**

**PHARAH:** [Hanzo, are you ready?]

 **TRACER:** [Geez, must be real entertained with his phone there...]

 **HANZO:** [What.]

 **PHARAH:** [It’s time for the second shot, if you are prepared to take it.]

 **HANZO:** [Of course.]

 **MCCREE:** [I came here ready, heh.]

 **TRACER:** [You sound rather sure of yourself there, love.]

 **MCCREE:** [C’mon, Lena, I’m here to win.]

 **MCCREE:** [Shit, accidentally turned my notifications on- why the hell’ve I been tweeted at so many times?]

 **D.VA:** [I... might’ve linked your Twitter to the stream.]

 **MCCREE:** [That explains it.]

 **PHARAH:** [Okay, second shots.]

 **MCCREE:** [Here we go.]

 **HANZO:** [Done.]

 **MCCREE:** [A few more and we might be getting somewhere.]

 **MCCREE:** [Hey Hanzo, how’s your social media? What’d you link for him?]

 **D.VA:** [Let’s see... His Twitch, Twitter, and YouTube. He asked me not to tell people his Tumblr or Snapchat.]

 **MCCREE:** [Incriminating?]

 **HANZO:** [None of your business, cowboy.]

 **HANZO:** [I have to turn notifications off now.]

 **MCCREE:** [The hell am I supposed to do with all these followers? I ain’t even use Twitter.]

 **D.VA:** [You can start your reign of Western terror now!]

 **MCCREE:** [Uh, I think I’d be a little late in the history books for that.]

 **MCCREE:** [A status update can’t hurt, though.]

 **MCCREE:** [Takin’ shots at a party... hashtag Tiddy, hashtag City, hashtag NotDrunk, hashtag Yet.]

 **MCCREE:** [Come take a selfie with me, Hanzo. You too, Lena.]

 **TRACER:** [Sure!]

 **HANZO:** [Why.]

 **GENJI:** [You and Lena are the only ones showing cleavage. He tagged ‘Tiddy’ and ‘City’, after all.]

 **HANZO:** [But-]

 **MCCREE:** [Say cheese, y’all.]

 **TRACER:** [Cheese!]

 **GENJI:** [Hanzo, that means you have to smile.]

 **GENJI:** [You are terrible at this.]

 **GENJI:** [Come over here.]

 **HANZO:** [No!]

 **HANZO:** [Yameru!]

 **GENJI:** [Twitter loves you, just smile!]

 **HANZO:** [That’s my fucking neck!]

 **MCCREE:** [Oh my God, was that a swear?]

 **TRACER:** [Glad I wasn’t the only one who heard it...]

 **JUNKRAT:** [Haha, nice!!]

 **LÚCIO:** [You guys, c’mon.]

 **HANZO:** [Why are your arms so cold?!]

 **GENJI:** [Say cheese, ‘y’all’.]

 **MCCREE:** [Hey.]

 **HANZO:** [Aaugh!!]

 **GENJI:** [Now let’s do one with a peace sign.]

 **D.VA:** [This is terrible selfie lighting.]

 **GENJI:** [Sacrifices must be made, Hana.]

 **HANZO:** [I am going to break you.]

 **GENJI:** [No you won’t, you love me too much.]

 **HANZO:** [Meiwakuna.]

 **GENJI:** [I am less annoying than Jesse, at least.]

 **JESSE:** [Hey!]

 **GENJI:** [Yo.]

 **GENJI:** [Now retweet the photo, Hanzo.]

 **HANZO:** [I will not.]

 **GENJI:** [Got your phone, I will do it myself.]

 **HANZO:** [Leave my Twitter alone, _ gaki._]

 **GENJI:** [No way, _ anija._]

 **GENJI:** [Hana retweeted it, too.]

 **D.VA:** [It’s a cute photo with a good filter on top! I also retweeted Jesse’s.]

 **MCCREE:** [Hey, thanks, I think.]

 **HANZO:** [Give me my phone back.]

 **GENJI:** [Hold on, I’m looking through your camera roll.]

 **HANZO:** [Stop.]

 **GENJI:** [You have Neko Atsume? That game’s from the 2010’s!]

 **HANZO:** [Give my phone back!]

 **GENJI:** [Ooh, holograms of your bow and arrows. Let me project them. Look, everyone!]

 **D.VA:** [Okay... that’s really cool.]

 **MCCREE:** [Wow, I wish my phone projected holograms.]

 **GENJI:** [Yours doesn’t?]

 **HANZO:** [It’s 2076, cowboy.]

 **MCCREE:** [Hey, we ain’t all rich!]

 **GENJI:** [Got your phone.]

 **MCCREE:** [Great.]

 **GENJI:** [This is a model that can do the same as Hanzo’s, I do not understand why you are complai- you dropped it, didn’t you.]

 **MCCREE:** [Give that back!]

 **GENJI:** [Take it, take it.]

 **MCCREE:** [Yeah I might’ve cracked it a few times, so what?]

 **HANZO:** [Irresponsible.]

 **MCCREE:** [Hey, at least I managed to take mine back. Genji still has yours.]

 **HANZO:** [Nobody can control Genji.]

 **MERCY:** [He has a point there, Jesse.]

 **MCCREE:** [That ain’t so. Gabriel’s shown me otherwise.]

 **TRACER:** [But Hanzo isn’t Gabe, so...]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Hello, everyone.]

 **D.VA:** [Who the hell’re you?]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Soldier: 76.]

 **MERCY:** [Ah, you’re-]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Soldier: 76.]

 **MERCY:** [...Of course. Sure.]

 **D.VA:** [Haha, what was that eye roll for, Angie?]

 **MERCY:** [Oh, nothing.]

 **TRACER:** [I remember you! You’re in next week’s roster.]

 **TRACER:** [You’re also all over the news.]

 **GENJI:** [Yes, he has made quite the presence.]

 **JUNKRAT:** [Not as much as _me,_  but I guess I’m still impressed.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Yeah.]

 **D.VA:** [So what’s your name, pops?]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [None of your business.]

 **TRACER:** [Aww, don’t be so shy, love!]

 **JUNKRAT:** [Who cares what his name is?]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Exactly. Who cares?]

 **D.VA:** [I do! How else am I gonna link your social media to the stream? The chat’s really interested.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [The... chat.]

 **D.VA:** [Yep, I’m streaming the party.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Right. Of course.]

 **D.VA:** [Oh hey, Marinarasaucy101 says they know who you are!]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [What? Why the hell would someone with a username like that know anything about me?]

 **LÚCIO:** [You HAVE been all over the news. Maybe they picked something up?]

 **D.VA:** [From a blog post, apparently?]

 **D.VA:** [Wow, 76, a lot of people have been following your actions. Some of them think you’re cool.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [That’s...]

 **TRACER:** [Neat!]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Not what I was going for.]

 **D.VA:** [Hm... let’s see what else they have to say. Oh! So your name’s ‘Jack’?]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Uh.]

 **GENJI:** [No, no. It... it’s Jack... Jackie. His name is ‘Jackie’.]

 **MERCY:** [Hahaha!]

 **GENJI:** [I heard that derisive snort, Dr. Ziegler.]

 **MERCY:** [I apologize, but considering the circumstances, it was impossible to hold it back.]

 **GENJI:** [I cannot blame you. Jack... ie is...]

 **TRACER:** [I think it’s a great name!]

 **MCCREE:** [Jackie, huh.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Um... yeah. Jackie. That’s my name.]

 **MCCREE:** [Hm.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [It’s definitely Jackie.]

 **MCCREE:** [I think it suits ya fine.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [...Thanks.]

 **MCCREE:** [Aw, Fareeha, don’t drink the vodka! We need it for shots.]

 **PHARAH:** [Sorry, I was trying to join in the fun.]

 **TRACER:** [Hey, who’s that over there?]

 **LÚCIO:** [Where?]

 **TRACER:** [There, at the door!]

 **GENJI:** [Oh! That’s my... that’s my boyfriend. G... Ghost.]

 **TRACER:** [...Your boyfriend’s name is Ghost?]

 **GENJI:** [Um... yes. Ghost. Tell her, dear.]

 **TRACER:** [He’s looking at his phone...]


	15. LOG 9: PART 4/6: PARTY

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @GENJI & @REAPER --**

**REAPER:** ghost. seriously.

 **GENJI:** I PANICKED

 **REAPER:** fine. its not the worst you couldve done.

 **GENJI:** Hold on

 **GENJI:** I have to change your screen name now

 **REAPER:** why.

 **GENJI:** The others may look into the automatic transcripts

 **GENJI:** Its a good thing you changed your outfit

 **GENJI:** Or else they mightve recognized you as reaper anyway

 **GHOST:** this mask is less annoying than the regular one. marginally.

 **GENJI:** Put your cloak on again another time

 **GENJI:** It looks good on you

 **GHOST:** noted.

* * *

  **\-- AUTOMATIC VOICE CALL TRANSCRIPT: JESSE VS. HANZO PARTY CHAT --**

 **GHOST:** [My name is Ghost.]

 **MERCY:** [Wow.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Hahaha.]

 **GHOST:** [Shut up, _Jackie.]_

 **TRACER:** [Those are really great names! The best.]

 **GHOST:** [Thanks.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Thanks?]

 **MCCREE:** [Ohh, you’re the guy who was fucking Genji earlier.]

 **GHOST:** [Yeah.]

 **GENJI:** [Yes, that is exactly correct.]

 **MCCREE:** [Well that explains a lot.]

 **MCCREE:** [The more audience members, the better, I’d say.]

 **HANZO:** [Sure, cowboy.]

 **MCCREE:** [Next shots, how ‘bout it? Line ‘em up, Fareeha, if you’d be so kind.]

 **PHARAH:** [There you go.]

 **HANZO:** [Easy.]

 **MCCREE:** [Three down. You’re startin’ to look a little shaky there, handsome.]

 **HANZO:** [No I do not.]

* * *

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @GENJI & @MERCY --**

**MERCY:** So, we’re just going to pretend like we don’t notice...?

 **GENJI:** What do you mean

 **MERCY:** Please, Genji. It’s obvious.

 **MERCY:** Soldier: 76, or ‘Jackie’ - great thinking there, by the way - is Jack Morrison. ‘Ghost’ is Gabriel Reyes.

 **GENJI:** Um

 **MERCY:** Do not lie to me, Genji.

 **GENJI:** Ok ok theyre jack and gabe

 **MERCY:** ‘Gabe’?

 **MERCY:** You’re using his nickname now?

 **GENJI:** Maybe

 **MERCY:** That’s adorable.

 **MERCY:** You know, he did always say it’d take him two lifetimes to get you to call him by his first name.

 **GENJI:** So i have been told

 **MERCY:** Tell me, how did you sneak them in?

 **GENJI:** Gabe snuck in himself earlier actually

 **GENJI:** Jack needed his name to be changed from ‘morrison’ to ‘soldier: 76’ and he enlisted gabes help

 **GENJI:** Jack pulled a trick he learned from liao to put athena in sleep mode

 **GENJI:** Ugh i hate sleep mode poor athena

 **GENJI:** Anyway that allowed gabe to get in and he accosted me

 **MERCY:** I can guess what happened there.

 **GENJI:** Yes yes we slept together

 **GENJI:** Both of them wanted to be at the party so they could watch jesse and hanzos drinking competition

 **MERCY:** But they can’t keep Athena in sleep mode forever.

 **GENJI:** Correct

 **GENJI:** I made her a deal i would get winston to eat healthier and as i guessed she decided to let it slide so long as neither of them

 **GENJI:** You know

 **GENJI:** Killed anyone or whatever

 **MERCY:** That’s... brilliant.

 **MERCY:** You were just talking to her during the party?

 **GENJI:** Yes it was hardly a strain to add an additional chat to my internal processes

 **MERCY:** Of course not, Genji.

 **GENJI:** Which reminds me i will soon need a tune up

 **MERCY:** I’ll inform my team.

 **GENJI:** Thank you dr. ziegler

 **MERCY:** If you can call Jack and Gabriel by their first names, why can’t you just call me Angela?

 **GENJI:** For starters we are not sleeping together

 **MERCY:** It’s not that hard, is it?

 **MERCY:** I won’t see it as flirtatious, it’s just... strange, I suppose?

 **MERCY:** We’re friends, Genji! We can be on a first-name basis.

 **GENJI:** I dont know why maybe im just used to calling you dr. ziegler

 **MERCY:** You call me Angela sometimes.

 **GENJI:** Usually a slip of the tongue

 **MERCY:** Which means you’re purposefully keeping yourself from doing it!

 **GENJI:** Oops

 **MERCY:** Hold on, what’s happening?

 **GENJI:** Hm

 **GENJI:** It appears jesse has started to feel the effects of alcohol

 **MERCY:** He’s calling for the next shot, it seems.

 **GENJI:** A foolish decision

 **MERCY:** I’m sure he’ll be fine.

 **GENJI:** For now perhaps

* * *

**\-- AUTOMATIC VOICE CALL TRANSCRIPT: JESSE VS. HANZO PARTY CHAT --**

**D.VA:** [Ooh, I have an idea! Let’s watch a movie!]

 **REINHARDT:** [I’ve got just the thing.]

 **LÚCIO:** [Which movie is it?]

 **REINHARDT:** [It has dragons in it. That’s all you need to know.]

 **GENJI:** [I like dragons.]

 **REINHARDT:** [Okay, how do we use this room’s projector?]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [Here, let me help you.]

 **D.VA:** [Aren’t you new? How would you know how to operate Overwatch tech?]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [It’s nothing fancy. Look, it’s just a Holon port.]

 **D.VA:** [Ohhh.]

 **MERCY:** [I swear, they’re going to put all the other electronics manufacturers out of business one day.]

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [There we go.]

 **REINHARDT:** [Move the other tables and chairs out of the way, it’s movie time.]

 **PHARAH:** [Hm... alright, I think that’ll work.]

 **MERCY:** [Looks good to me.]

 **D.VA:** [With the tables in front, we can still eat! It’s not a movie without snacks. Also, pizza will be here soon.]

 **LÚCIO:** [Awesome! Did your order one with olives on top?]

 **D.VA:** [Yeah, of course! I couldn’t ignore your one request.]

 **LÚCIO:** [Aw thanks, Hana.]

 **D.VA:** [No prob.]

 **JUNKRAT:** [I don’t care what you put on top, I’m starving!]

 **LÚCIO:** [Then why don’t you have some chips or the other snacks on the table?]

 **JUNKRAT:** [None of those are real food, mate.]

 **LÚCIO:** [But... pizza is?]

 **JUNKRAT:** [Yeah!]

 **LÚCIO:** [That makes sense.]

 **JUNKRAT:** [‘Course it does!]

 **TRACER:** [I’m havin’ a great time with the veggie platter. Give it a try!]

 **JUNKRAT:** [Nah.]

 **TRACER:** [Leaves more for Fareeha and I. You lot need to eat healthier.]

 **MERCY:** [Athena would agree. I mean, I do, too.]

 **MERCY:** [And Lena, you only have two celery sticks on your plate.]

 **TRACER:** [Hehe, guilty as charged. You’ve hardly eaten a thing.]

 **MERCY:** [Like Jamison, I don’t think most of this is much in the way of food.]

 **JUNKRAT:** [You can all just call me Junkrat, y’know.]

 **D.VA:** [You don’t like being called Jamie?]

 **LÚCIO:** [Or James?]

 **JUNKRAT:** [Alright, I _guess_  you two can call me Jamie and James. But the older folks callin’ me Jamison’s weird.]

 **MCCREE:** [Man, we ain’t _that_  old.]

 **JUNKRAT:** [You’re old to us!]

 **D.VA:** [Haha yeah, pops.]

 **REINHARDT:** [Got it! This is one of my favourites.]

 **GENJI:** [What is the movie called?]

 **REINHARDT:** _[How to Train Your Dragon.]_

 **HANZO:** [Amazing.]

 **GENJI:** [If you want to know, you should just ask my brother and myself.]

 **MERCY:** [Good one, Genji.]

 **GENJI:** [Thank you, I try.]

* * *

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @GENJI & @GHOST --**

**GHOST:** im tempted to get out of here.

 **GENJI:** Hahaha ghost

 **GHOST:** if you think the name is funny. change it back.

 **GENJI:** No its cute

 **GENJI:** And it preserves your anonymity

 **GENJI:** Anyway why leave the party

 **GHOST:** we can finish what we started earlier.

 **GENJI:** We did finish

 **GENJI:** Just because we only climaxed once each does not mean we did not finish

 **GHOST:** ten minutes isnt even enough time for foreplay.

 **GENJI:** Not in regular circumstances

 **GENJI:** But you werent supposed to stop for a quickie anyway

 **GHOST:** it was hard not to.

 **GENJI:** How romantic

 **GHOST:** i missed you.

 **GENJI:** I missed you too gabe

 **GENJI:** This movie is rather entertaining though we should watch it

 **GHOST:** its one of reinhardts favorites.

 **GENJI:** How do you know that

 **GHOST:** before you arrived. there was a time he did nothing but quote it.

 **GHOST:** hed carry a stuffed dragon with him.

 **GHOST:** it was this whole. thing.

 **GENJI:** A shame i had to miss it

 **GENJI:** I wouldve had great fun participating in dragon appreciation

 **GHOST:** but yours is different.

 **GENJI:** And it is exhausting but it is what it is

 **GHOST:** of course.

 **GENJI:** Wow i will never get used to these 2010 graphics

 **GHOST:** medias come a long way since then. thats how it is.

 **GENJI:** Yes i mean

 **GENJI:** This is hardly 3d at all

 **GENJI:** There are no flames in my face i am not impressed

 **GHOST:** i dont think 3d could do that back in 2010.

 **GENJI:** I am glad to live in an era with movies that are actually good

 **GENJI:** Though this movie has been entertaining i must admit

 **GHOST:** ive already seen it.

 **GENJI:** Do you like it

 **GHOST:** its alright.

 **GENJI:** You like it

 **GHOST:** its alright.

 **GENJI:** Will you be around tonight

 **GHOST:** if you want.

 **GENJI:** Is that a joke

 **GHOST:** no.

 **GENJI:** Of course i want you around

 **GENJI:** Come spend the night in my room

 **GHOST:** sounds good.

 **GENJI:** You can bring jack

 **GHOST:** if he wants. then ill bring him.

 **GENJI:** He will

 **GHOST:** how can you be so sure.

 **GENJI:** I doubt either of you has been doing much in the bedroom since the disbandment of overwatch

 **GHOST:** ive had bigger things on my plate. hes been keeping busy too.

 **GENJI:** Yes well i can keep you both occupied

 **GENJI:** At the same time

 **GENJI:** Im sure even jack would be hard pressed to decline my offer

 **GENJI:** Lets make a new chat group for the three of us actually

 **GHOST:** didnt we have one.

 **GENJI:** No we just got very good at threeway communication

 **GHOST:** i couldve sworn we had our own chat. in this program.

 **GENJI:** It is not one among my groups and i do not recall such a group chat

 **GENJI:** Though i do recall an instance where you thought the big group chat was the direct message chat to myself

 **GENJI:** And to jack

 **GENJI:** Perhaps to the both of us

 **GHOST:** wait what.

 **GENJI:** You were rather inebriated

 **GHOST:** when was this.

 **GENJI:** Years ago of course

 **GENJI:** You typed some sweet things in spanish

 **GHOST:** shit.

 **GENJI:** Only a few people saw dont worry

 **GENJI:** The ensuing conversation covered up your cute words

 **GENJI:** By next morning another conversation had replaced it

 **GHOST:** i cant believe i dont remember this.

 **GENJI:** Oh dont worry about it so much gabe

 **GENJI:** It happened so long ago

 **GENJI:** What matters is you are here now

 **GENJI:** I missed you

 **GHOST:** i missed you too.

 **GENJI:** Try not to die again

 **GENJI:** Or fake die

 **GENJI:** Hold on


	16. LOG 9: PART 5/6: PARTY

**\-- BEST OVERWATCH THREESOME CHAT --**

  **\-- GENJI added GHOST, SOLDIER: 76 to the server. --**

 **GENJI:** Hello

 **SOLDIER: 76:** good chat name.

 **GENJI:** Thank you i rather like it myself

 **GHOST:** im not part of overwatch anymore.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** oh, yeah. you’re talon scum now, aren’t you?

 **GHOST:** im a mercenary. it just so happens im working with talon right now.

 **GENJI:** What for

 **GHOST:** to kill overwatch. mostly.

 **GENJI:** Wait why

 **GENJI:** No

 **GENJI:** Thats awful

 **GENJI:** Im part of overwatch

 **GHOST:** well i wasnt planning on killing you.

 **GHOST:** just jack.

 **GENJI:** I will not allow you to kill anyone

 **GENJI:** Not even jack

 **SOLDIER: 76:** you’re STILL hung up over the time i hit you in the groin with a golf ball?

 **SOLDIER: 76:** it only happened ONCE!

 **GENJI:** Haha i remember that

 **GENJI:** You swung the golf club at him too

 **GENJI:** We had to carry him to the infirmary

 **GHOST:** i will not hesitate to kill you jack.

 **GENJI:** No you are not allowed to kill jack

 **GENJI:** I will not permit this pursuit of vengeance

 **GENJI:** Do not make me tell athena on you

 **GHOST:** dont do that. shell kick us out.

 **GENJI:** I am not so weak for sex that i will hesitate

 **GENJI:** If you mean to hurt anyone i will destroy you personally

 **GHOST:** hot.

 **GENJI:** Gabe please

 **GENJI:** That was a threat

 **SOLDIER: 76:** yeah, but you’re so darn cute.

 **GENJI:** Shut the up

 **GHOST:** aww.

 **GENJI:** Do not make me take my sword out during a party movie

 **GENJI:** It will alarm the others

 **GHOST:** so. you want me to quit mercenary work.

 **GENJI:** Even hanzo was a mercenary

 **GENJI:** We come from a clan of assassins

 **GENJI:** I could not care less about mercenary work

 **GENJI:** But i dont want you doing harm to overwatch

 **GHOST:** i am genuinely trying to take you seriously.

 **GHOST:** because this is a serious topic. i mean that.

 **GHOST:** but i keep getting distracted.

 **GHOST:** by you.

 **GHOST:** because.

 **GHOST:** youre just.

 **GHOST:** so.

 **GHOST:** fucking.

 **GHOST:** cute.

 **GENJI:** Im trying to intimidate you

 **SOLDIER: 76:** i think gabriel’s the last person to be scared of you.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** we know you’re strong and a good fighter, and all of us have the ability to kill, but...

 **GHOST:** youre so cute.

 **GHOST:** youre just so fucking cute.

 **GENJI:** Stop it

 **GENJI:** Stop being adorable and sweet

 **GENJI:** Agh this is unbelievable

 **GHOST:** take my hand.

 **GENJI:** No

 **GENJI:** Let me be upset

 **GHOST:** take it.

 **GENJI:** No

 **GHOST:** take it.

 **GENJI:** No

 **GHOST:** take it.

 **GENJI:** No

 **SOLDIER: 76:** wow.

 **GHOST:** take it genji.

 **GENJI:** No

 **GENJI:** Hold on whats happening

 **SOLDIER: 76:** sounds like your brother and jesse are on their sixth shots, from what i can hear.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** the movie’s pretty loud, though.

 **GENJI:** Oh they mustve sped things up during the movie

 **GHOST:** jesses piss drunk.

 **GENJI:** Haha Fareeha looks a little worried but shes also smiling

 **GHOST:** shes looking at angela.

 **GENJI:** Unsurprising

 **GENJI:** They fancy each other

 **GHOST:** unsurprising.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** didn’t angela like ana?

 **GHOST:** yeah.

 **GENJI:** Yes she did

 **SOLDIER: 76:** i wonder if ana knew.

 **GHOST:** nope.

 **GENJI:** No she did not

 **SOLDIER: 76:** how can you be so sure?

 **GHOST:** i dont think she wouldve reacted all that much to angelas crush. whether she knew or not.

 **GENJI:** She wouldve felt bad for not reciprocating

 **GHOST:** yeah. ana was never big on romance.

 **GHOST:** if angela had confessed to her. she wouldve been hard pressed to crack a joke about it.

 **GENJI:** She wouldve said sorry

 **GENJI:** She wouldve smiled and said im sorry ill never feel the same way

 **GHOST:** but angela never confessed.

 **GENJI:** And ana never knew

 **SOLDIER: 76:** wow... it’s like you two have spent a lot of time thinking about this before.

 **GENJI:** It has passed my idle thoughts

 **GHOST:** ill be honest. i always found it interesting.

 **GENJI:** Why is that

 **GHOST:** i wondered why angela liked her is all.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** well that’s not hard to answer.

 **GENJI:** Ana was attractive and funny and very capable

 **GENJI:** She was an amazing sniper

 **GENJI:** She was a great person

 **GENJI:** A great mother

 **GENJI:** I miss her dearly

 **SOLDIER: 76:** i do, too.

 **GHOST:** fareeha liked angela.

 **GHOST:** still does. apparently.

 **GENJI:** And who could blame her

 **GENJI:** Angela is easily one of the most attractive people ive ever met in my life

 **GENJI:** Shes sweet and she is very intelligent and is always there to lend a helping hand

 **GHOST:** wow genji. youre starting to sound almost. hetero.

 **GENJI:** How dare you

 **SOLDIER: 76:** jealous type, reyes?

 **GHOST:** maybe a little.

 **GENJI:** Do not be

 **GENJI:** You are the most beautiful person

 **GENJI:** I never had a crush on angela you know

 **SOLDIER: 76:** aww, you had a crush on gabe. how embarrassing.

 **GENJI:** We are dating

 **SOLDIER: 76:** _still._

 **GENJI:** In any case yes i did have a crush on gabe

 **GENJI:** Jesse liked to tease me about it

 **GENJI:** Ive liked plenty of people in my life

 **GENJI:** The opposite of hanzo really

 **SOLDIER: 76:** your brother hasn’t had any romantic interests?

 **GENJI:** Ah

 **GENJI:** One or two people

 **GENJI:** That i know of

 **GENJI:** Regardless it seems jesse is bent on winning his attention

 **GHOST:** hes been at it for awhile.

 **GENJI:** Indeed

 **GENJI:** He has yet to be rejected after all

 **GENJI:** I personally find that very interesting

 **GHOST:** why is that.

 **GENJI:** Simple really

 **GENJI:** Hanzo has never had any trouble telling his suitors ‘no’ before

 **GENJI:** I do not see why it would be different now

 **GENJI:** Unless of course

 **GENJI:** He does not yet want to tell jesse no

 **GHOST:** i find it hard to believe your brother would be interested in him.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** gotta agree there.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** if hanzo liked him at all, i’m sure he’d show it in some way.

 **GENJI:** Hahaha i know him better than you

 **GENJI:** I would not make such an assumption lightly

 **GHOST:** would you wager.

 **GENJI:** Certainly

 **SOLDIER: 76:** and you seriously don’t think the odds are in our favor? even if you know him better?

 **SOLDIER: 76:** because it seems obvious he isn’t interested in jesse at all.

 **GENJI:** I am not one to bet

 **GENJI:** Though in this case i know what i am talking about

 **GENJI:** Fun fact

 **GENJI:** Hanzo has never lost a bet

 **GHOST:** ok. thats even harder to believe than him liking jesse. at all.

 **GENJI:** Then you do not know hanzo

 **SOLDIER: 76:** people can’t be right all the time, genji.

 **GENJI:** I am not saying he was right all the time

 **GENJI:** He has certainly been wrong about a great many things

 **GENJI:** But i am saying he has never lost a bet

 **GENJI:** Perhaps fate is on his side

 **GENJI:** Perhaps luck

 **GENJI:** Whatever it is it seems to be the counterbalance to his abhorrent personality

 **GHOST:** hahaha.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** christ, genji, that’s brutal.

 **GENJI:** No im kidding dont tell him i said that

 **GHOST:** wasnt planning to.

 **GENJI:** Anyway lets talk about this bet

 **GHOST:** sure. set down the pot.

 **GENJI:** What would you two like if you win

 **GENJI:** Which you wont

 **SOLDIER: 76:** not sure, but we'll have to think of something.

 **GHOST:** we cant go wrong with money.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** yeah, that's true.

 **GENJI:** Ok if youre right i will give you both a bunch of money

 **GENJI:** How much would you like

 **GHOST:** i dunno.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** how much would you be willing to spare for a pointless bet?

 **GENJI:** It doesnt really matter to me

 **GENJI:** You can have seven grand if you win

 **GHOST:** thats a lot of money to give us.

 **GENJI:** What no

 **GENJI:** I meant seven thousand dollars each

 **GHOST:** genji.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** why are rich people like this?

 **GENJI:** The details are not important seeing as i will be victorious

 **GHOST:** ok. what if youre right.

 **GENJI:** If i win then

 **GENJI:** Gabe you have to flirt with hanzo

 **GHOST:** for fucks sake.

 **GENJI:** It will make for excellent entertainment i am sure

 **GENJI:** Jack you have to record gabe whether it occurs face to face or over text chat

 **SOLDIER: 76:** great, great.

 **GENJI:** Oh gabe dont be upset

 **GENJI:** Ive seen the way you look at hanzo you are interested

 **GHOST:** not nearly as much as jesse.

 **GENJI:** Yes that is true

 **GHOST:** so if your brother shows interest in jesse. what you want me to do. is flirt with him.

 **GENJI:** Basically

 **GHOST:** but why.

 **GENJI:** I live for drama

 **GHOST:** wow.

 **GENJI:** Trust me i want to see jesse succeed

 **GENJI:** If i thought this arrangement would be one that winds up hurting either him or my brother i would not have made the bet

 **GENJI:** But i did

 **GENJI:** Let the games begin so to speak

 **GHOST:** shake my hand.

 **GENJI:** Ok

 **GHOST:** im taking your hand now.

 **GENJI:** Damn it gabe

 **GENJI:** I forgot i was supposed to be indignant

 **GHOST:** im not letting go.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** you two are ridiculous.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** the movie’s getting interesting, at least.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** some stuff’s happening.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** there are dragons.

 **GENJI:** Its a movie about dragons isnt it

 **GHOST:** more or less.

 **GENJI:** Hahaha its cute

 **GENJI:** Wait do you hear that

 **GENJI:** What shot are they on now

 **SOLDIER: 76:** nine, as of a minute or so ago.

 **GENJI:** Is jesse ok

 **SOLDIER: 76:** uh... no.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** he’s drunk, i’d say.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** come to think of it, i’m not sure if he took the ninth shot or if it was just your brother who did.

 **GENJI:** Hmm

 **GENJI:** Hanzos tipsy now

 **GHOST:** it takes your brother nine liquor shots to get tipsy.

 **GENJI:** It depends

 **GHOST:** christ.

 **GENJI:** Allow me to draw out a rough graph

 **GHOST:** this. this i gotta see.

 **GENJI:** [[Hanzo drinking chart.png]]

**GHOST:** wow. what an exponential growth.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** so... another shot or two and he’ll be plastered?

 **GENJI:** He may already be plastered

 **GENJI:** He may also last five more shots before really showing the effects of alcohol

 **GENJI:** But looking at him now

 **GENJI:** Well

 **GENJI:** I believe the numbers in that chart are apt for tonight

 **GHOST:** his face is red. jesses too.

 **GHOST:** jesses flirting with him.

 **GENJI:** He has been doing that all night

 **SOLDIER: 76:** jesse just said ‘well since you won the competition...’

 **SOLDIER: 76:** guess he stopped taking shots by now?

 **GENJI:** They are both drunk i suppose they do not need to take any more shots

 **GENJI:** Hanzo has won

 **GENJI:** I am not surprised

 **GHOST:** seems like the main events just starting though.

 **GENJI:** The true entertainment of the night is jesses attempts to charm him

 **GENJI:** Which he would be trying to do regardless of how drunk he is

 **GENJI:** But when they are both drunk it is ten times funnier to watch

 **SOLDIER: 76:** i thought this movie was going to be entertainment enough, honestly.

 **GENJI:** 何てことだ

 **GHOST:** whats the matter.

 **GENJI:** OOPS that is not english

 **GENJI:** I meant

 **GENJI:** OH MY GOD

 **SOLDIER: 76:** what? what’d he say? i can’t hear as well as you.

 **GENJI:** HE SAID ‘COME HERE COWBOY’

 **GENJI:** Look at him

 **GENJI:** The look in his eyes

 **GHOST:** what a smoulder.

 **GENJI:** HES SMILING

 **GENJI:** WHAT IS HAPPENING

 **GHOST:** first time ive seen your brother smile.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** haha, same.

 **GHOST:** not that weve seen much of him. but still.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** he just pulled jesse in.

 **GENJI:** THEYRE KISSING

 **GHOST:** holy shit.

 **GENJI:** THEY ARE MAKING OUT

 **GENJI:** 何だ一体

 **GENJI:** えええええええええええええええええ

 **GENJI:** おおおおおおおお

 **GENJI:** 2525

 **SOLDIER: 76:** are you alright, genji?

 **GHOST:** hes using japanese internet slang. this happens. rarely. but it does happen.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** ...when??

 **GHOST:** usually when he gets very agitated. or more applicable to this case. very excited.

 **GENJI:** ガタン ( ﾟдﾟ)

 **GENJI:** あああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああ

 **SOLDIER: 76:** i have no idea what’s going on.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** they’re just kissing, so what?

 **GHOST:** his brother is pretty aloof. this behavior was unexpected.

 **GHOST:** to say the least.

 **GENJI:** (Ｔ▽Ｔ)(Ｔ▽Ｔ)(Ｔ▽Ｔ)(Ｔ▽Ｔ)(Ｔ▽Ｔ)

 **GHOST:** also.

 **GHOST:** we just lost our bet.

 **GENJI:** ((ヽ(๑╹◡╹๑)ﾉ))♬

 **GHOST:** genji. please.

 **GHOST:** youre typing like an omnic.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** he’s a cyborg, he can type however he wants.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** be it like a person, an omnic, or a... high school girl on a web forum.

 **GHOST:** did you really just type ‘web forum’.

 **GHOST:** not even reinhardt would say that.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** i couldn’t care less about your sarcastic jabs right now.

 **GHOST:** well thats fine. but it wasnt sarcastic.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** sure, just remember you have to flirt with genji’s brother now.

 **GHOST:** hes a little busy.

 **GHOST:** his hands in jesses pants.

 **GHOST:** literally.

 **GHOST:** his left hand is in jesses pants right now.

 **GHOST:** how can they do this.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** all five of us are sitting in the back row, i don’t think they realize we’re watching them while everyone else is watching the movie.

 **GENJI:** Ok im sorry about that

 **GENJI:** I rebooted all my processes

 **GENJI:** I apologize that both of you had to see

 **GENJI:** The above

 **GHOST:** dont worry about it.

 **GHOST:** it was actually pretty cute.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** agreed. you’re usually calm enough, so i have to admit, it was endearing.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** albeit alarming.

 **GHOST:** very cute.

 **GHOST:** adorable. in fact.

 **GENJI:** Aw you two stop

 **GENJI:** Theyre STILL making out

 **GENJI:** Theyre getting up

 **GENJI:** Look away look away

 **SOLDIER: 76:** i was trying to pay attention to the movie, anyway...

 **GENJI:** Theyre leaving

 **GENJI:** Oh my god

 **GENJI:** Oh my god oh my god

 **GENJI:** Oh my god

 **GENJI:** I am going to cry

 **GHOST:** why.

 **GENJI:** Im so proud of hanzo

 **SOLDIER: 76:** you’re... proud?

 **GENJI:** Yes

 **GENJI:** Hes finally getting laid

 **SOLDIER: 76:** christ’s sake, genji.

 **GENJI:** And it only took 38 years

 **GHOST:** your brothers a virgin.

 **GENJI:** Hahaha

 **GENJI:** No

 **GENJI:** But i thought it would be funny to type that out

 **SOLDIER: 76:** hey, pay attention to the screen. more stuff’s happening.

 **GHOST:** weve seen this movie before jack.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** yeah, but...

 **SOLDIER: 76:** i like this movie.

 **GENJI:** I am paying attention

 **GENJI:** These dragons are unrealistic

 **GHOST:** i like your dragon best.

 **GENJI:** I do too

 **GENJI:** Wait was that an innuendo

 **GHOST:** maybe.

 **GHOST:** i dont know.

 **GHOST:** im drunk.

 **GHOST:** ive been drinking for most of the movie.

 **GENJI:** I have only had two drinks so far i got distracted by my brother and jesse and their competition

 **GENJI:** Fareeha took the rest of the vodka bottle it seems

 **GENJI:** I will take something for myself

 **GENJI:** Would you like anything jack

 **SOLDIER: 76:** maybe a beer?

 **GENJI:** How boring

 **GENJI:** Ok one beer for you nice and cold

 **GENJI:** And a pina colada for me

 **GHOST:** you have piña colada ingredients on hand.

 **GENJI:** Its not a party without cocktails gabe

 **GENJI:** Of course most of these people have not requested cocktails

 **GENJI:** If they are satisfied with the boring drinks then that is fine for them

 **GENJI:** But not for me

 **GHOST:** what were you drinking earlier.

 **GENJI:** Lollipop flavoured vodka

 **GENJI:** I make it myself

 **GHOST:** oh right. youre really good at the vodka candy infusions.

 **GENJI:** Yes thank you

 **GENJI:** Hanzo may be satisfied with sake and jesse may be satisfied with whiskey but i am not

 **GENJI:** Neither is angela

 **GENJI:** We work together

 **SOLDIER: 76:** what do you put in the drinks?

 **GENJI:** Various hard candies

 **GENJI:** I like strawberry best

 **GENJI:** I may try to make a peach flavoured one for hanzo

 **SOLDIER: 76:** think he’d drink it?

 **GENJI:** Yes he loves peaches they are his favourite food

 **GENJI:** I should tell jesse

 **GENJI:** He can eat some peach candy and get hanzo to kiss him again

 **GHOST:** and. that would work.

 **GENJI:** I am sure of it

 **GHOST:** ill keep that in mind.

 **GENJI:** Do you want to kiss my brother gabe

 **GHOST:** well. i am supposed to be flirting with him.

 **GENJI:** Yes that is true

 **GENJI:** That is the price of losing a bet against a shimada you fool

 **GENJI:** You dont have to make a move on him though

 **GENJI:** If you do

 **GENJI:** You will have to contend with jesse

 **SOLDIER: 76:** i’d like to see his reaction to that.

 **GENJI:** Oh i can imagine

 **GENJI:** ‘you already have two boyfriends gabriel step off’

 **GENJI:** ‘why cant i fuck hanzo in peace’

 **GENJI:** ‘yall’

 **GENJI:** ‘yeehaw’

 **GENJI:** ‘howdy’

 **GHOST:** makes sense to me.

 **GENJI:** He will not fall for you though

 **GENJI:** I will tell you that now

 **GENJI:** Do not go into this thinking something might come out of it

 **GHOST:** wasnt counting on it.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** how can you be so sure?

 **GENJI:** He likes jesse

 **GENJI:** I can tell

 **GENJI:** You neednt doubt me on the matter

 **GENJI:** I have been wrong about a great many things

 **GENJI:** I assure you this is not one of them

 **GHOST:** cant wait to see how this plays out.

 **GENJI:** So you believe me

 **GHOST:** of course.

 **GHOST:** youre closer to him than us. we hardly know him. all we can do at this point is guess.

 **GHOST:** cockiness isnt in your nature.

 **GHOST:** ill take your word on the matter.

 **GENJI:** The matter

 **GENJI:** Haha

 **GENJI:** Well to be honest it is only a matter of time at this point

 **SOLDIER: 76:** it’s definitely going to be interesting.

 **GENJI:** Hold on let me make a new group

 **SOLDIER: 76:** another one?

 **GHOST:** thisll be good.


	17. LOG 9: PART 6/6: PARTY

**\-- ITS BETTING TIME CHAT --**

**\-- GENJI added BASTION, D.VA, GHOST, JUNKRAT, LÚCIO, MEI, MERCY, PHARAH, REINHARDT, ROADHOG, SOLDIER: 76, SYMMETRA, TORBJÖRN, TRACER, WINSTON, ZARYA, ZENYATTA to the server. --**

**GENJI:** This group has one purpose and one purpose only

 **MERCY:** My goodness.

 **D.VA:** whats that purpose

 **TRACER:** hahaha another group??

 **GENJI:** That purpose:

 **GENJI:** To bet on how long it will take jesse and hanzo to get together

 **TRACER:** whadyou mean love?

 **GENJI:** They kissed at the party

 **D.VA:** OMG

 **LÚCIO:** holy cow, really?

 **GENJI:** Yes really

 **GENJI:** During the movie

 **LÚCIO:** ohh, i was watching that. :)

 **REINHARDT:** i know i still am

 **GENJI:** Anyway you can bet on two things

 **GENJI:** Both if you want

 **GENJI:** One: how long before they sleep together

 **GENJI:** Two: how long before they start dating

 **TRACER:** interesting!

 **MEI:** Is this what everyone has been up to in my absence? Betting games?

 **GENJI:** This is no game mei

 **JUNKRAT:** THIS SOUNDS LIKE SERIOUS STUFF

 **JUNKRAT:** MAYBE

 **JUNKRAT:** IS THERE ANY MONEY IN IT

 **GENJI:** Yes i will throw seven thousand dollars into each pool

 **JUNKRAT:** AWW YEAH

 **TRACER:** thats way too much money!!

 **GENJI:** I wouldve used it in another bet

 **GENJI:** Except i knew i would win that bet and i was right

 **GENJI:** I did win

 **GENJI:** So i will continue pledging the money forward

 **GENJI:** Bets are akin to an inside joke when it comes to my brother and i

 **MERCY:** And... you’d like us to join that inside joke?

 **GENJI:** Correct

 **GENJI:** All of you are my family

 **GENJI:** More or less

 **GENJI:** Mostly hanzo

 **PHARAH:** It’s the thought that counts.

 **GENJI:** Exactly fareeha

 **GENJI:** I linked a google form in the sidebar

 **GENJI:** Remember to put in your call sign and name

 **GENJI:** Then you can place your bets

 **GENJI:** The closest will receive seven thousand dollars each along with whatever everyone else chooses to throw into the pot

 **GENJI:** I will double the pot for the winner

 **MERCY:** What an elaborate guessing game.

 **ZARYA:** The outcome is clear.

 **GENJI:** If it is clear then place your bets

 **GENJI:** We shall see who the victors are soon enough

 **D.VA:** i am SO into this

 **D.VA:** i mean sure i dont know your brother or jesse THAT well but im pretty sure ive got some solid guesses in!!

 **GENJI:** Best of luck to those who choose to enter

 **REINHARDT:** this is going to be a great waste of money.

 **REINHARDT:** im entering.

 **TRACER:** same! the more the merrier :P

 **PHARAH:** Well, why not. I have some extra money on hand.

 **JUNKRAT:** SAME

 **JUNKRAT:** SO MUCH MONEY

 **JUNKRAT:** ILL TELL ROADHOG TOMORROW IM SURE HELL BE INTERESTED

 **GENJI:** It is impossible not to be

 **GENJI:** Jesse and hanzo are interesting people

 **PHARAH:** Yes, and there is sure to be a decent amonut of money involved.

 **MERCY:** It’s been awhile since we’ve been through an elaborate Shimada betting scheme.

 **MERCY:** @GENJI: What was the last one?

 **MERCY:** It involved your brother, despite him not being a part of Overwatch.

 **GENJI:** It was with the original overwatch group

 **GENJI:** I was on a blackwatch mission

 **GENJI:** Gabe was there and it was almost fun

 **GENJI:** We were in africa in numbani

 **GENJI:** A nice place to be

 **GENJI:** The bet had to do with what hanzo was doing there and whether he liked it or not

 **GENJI:** Ana won and was completely correct

 **GENJI:** Hanzo was drinking and doing mercenary work and he did not like the place

 **MERCY:** Yes, I remember now. She bragged about her win for a while.

 **GENJI:** The prize was a good one

 **GENJI:** Several thousand dollars and good coffee from that one store in numbani

 **MERCY:** Why do you offer so much money to bets?

 **GENJI:** Making bets big and small was a part of my youth

 **GENJI:** One of the few things that remains precious to me

 **MERCY:** Aww.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** that’s how you bonded with your brother?

 **GENJI:** Hm

 **GENJI:** Well no

 **GENJI:** I learned never to bet against hanzo

 **D.VA:** why’s that?

 **GENJI:** He always wins

 **GENJI:** Anyway it was more fun following him around

 **GENJI:** On interesting nights every so often

 **GENJI:** Somebody would wager something

 **GENJI:** Anything really

 **GENJI:** Perhaps money over a card game

 **GENJI:** Whether it was serious or something silly only over pocket change

 **GENJI:** A bet of sorts would be made

 **GENJI:** Hanzo would smile

 **GENJI:** Then he would win

 **GENJI:** Always

 **D.VA:** sounds like pretty weird stuff

 **LÚCIO:** weirder than the two summoning dragons?

 **D.VA:** when you put it THAT way

 **D.VA:** guess its not that weird in comparison

 **JUNKRAT:** I HOPE I WIN THIS BET I WANT THAT MONEY

 **JUNKRAT:** I COULD BUY THINGS

 **LÚCIO:** like what?

 **JUNKRAT:** MORE CAT AND DOG TREATS TO SLIP INTO PEOPLES POCKETS

 **D.VA:** you lead an exciting life

 **JUNKRAT:** SURE DO MATE

 **JUNKRAT:** HEY WHERED ALL THE BEER GO

 **GENJI:** Jackie took it

 **SOLDIER: 76:** sorry.

 **JUNKRAT:** YOU SHOULD BE

 **JUNKRAT:** WHAT ELSE WE GOT

 **GENJI:** Plenty of sake

 **GENJI:** I bought it for hanzo in case the shots did not satisfy

 **GENJI:** Now there is a surplus

 **JUNKRAT:** OK ILL TAKE ONE

 **GENJI:** You can have one

 **JUNKRAT:** I DONT LIKE IT

 **GENJI:** Then why are you still drinking it

 **GENJI:** I can see you from here

* * *

 

**\-- ITS BETTING TIME CHAT --**

**GENJI:** You just finished the bottle

 **GENJI:** It has only been twenty minutes

 **GENJI:** @JUNKRAT: Are you ok

 **JUNKRAT:** I WANTTED TO G ET DURNK

 **JUNKRAT:** I RREGT

 **JUNKRAT:** ITS OK I GUES

 **JUNKRAT:** I DONT WNANA DRINK THSI AGAIN THOUGGH

 **JUNKRAT:** IT FTASTES WEIRD

 **GENJI:** Hm

 **GENJI:** Well i suppose wine is not for everyone

 **JUNKRAT:** FUCUK WINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **GENJI:** I agree

* * *

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @GENJI & @MCCREE --**

**MCCREE:** heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 **GENJI:** Yo

 **GENJI:** Your absence at the party has been noted

 **MCCREE:** ohhHHh ssorry im uhhhh

 **MCCREE:** ntoed???

 **MCCREE:** by woh

 **MCCREE:** who*

 **GENJI:** Whom*

 **GENJI:** By myself mostly

 **GENJI:** Lena was looking for you after the first dragon movie

 **GENJI:** Then reinhardt played the second and she sat down again

 **MCCREE:** aw tellher sorry i aint htere

 **GENJI:** She is still watching the movie i will disturb her after

 **MCCREE:** soooo hows thehparty going??

 **GENJI:** It is nearing its end

 **GENJI:** Most of the group is drunk and enjoying the pizza hana ordered watching the second dragon movie

 **MCCREE:** heyyyyyyyyy

 **MCCREE:** hey bud

 **MCCREE:** woww. ... i kindaw wwant some pizza

 **GENJI:** There is plenty left if you would like to grab a slice or two

 **MCCREE:** naw im kidna busy

 **GENJI:** And yet you are messaging me

 **MCCREE:** yeayh cause im takin a wquick pee break

 **GENJI:** Understandable

 **GENJI:** Do i want to ask what you are doing

 **MCCREE:** yes

 **GENJI:** What are you doing

 **MCCREE:** ffuckin your brother

 **GENJI:** I couldve guessed that myself

 **MCCREE:** BBBBBUTCHYA DIDNT

 **GENJI:** Sure

 **GENJI:** Why did you message me

 **GENJI:** Make this quick the movie is getting sad i need to pay attention

 **MCCREE:** whgell why CANT i message you when im cffffffffffffffffffff

 **MCCREE:** piss ** fuckig drunk????

 **GENJI:** You can message me but i am watching a movie

 **MCCREE:** itss not like i tmatters

 **MCCREE:** you ARE a tehcnology

 **GENJI:** Fair point though i must admit the movie is drawing my attention regardless

 **GENJI:** Also im drinking

 **GENJI:** Its harder to control my processes when i am inebriated

 **MCCREE:** ii jst wanted osme hjelp

 **GENJI:** Did you drop your hat into the toilet

 **GENJI:** I am not helping you with that

 **MCCREE:** NO not thsi time ok

 **MCCREE:** im ena like........

 **MCCREE:** givem e advice

 **MCCREE:** youre the only one who knwows hanzo

 **GENJI:** You are having sex with my brother

 **GENJI:** And you are asking me for advice

 **MCCREE:** yeha

 **GENJI:** Jesse

 **GENJI:** What the fuck

 **GENJI:** As much as i would love to help you fuck my brother

 **GENJI:** (I dont)

 **GENJI:** I have no idea what to offer

 **MCCREE:** IM JST SO

 **MCCREE:** NERVOUS

 **GENJI:** Oh boy

 **MCCREE:** LHELP ME PLEAGSE

 **MCCREE:** HES ALL

 **MCCREE:** HES ALL SEDUCTIVE ADN NSTUFF

 **MCCREE:** AND IM ALL

 **MCCREE:** HAHA OK

 **MCCREE:** PARDENER

 **GENJI:** You are both drunk your performance will not even be a distant memory to you tomorrow

 **MCCREE:** but whadabout to him

 **GENJI:** Oh he will remember

 **MCCREE:** i dont wann fuck this up

 **MCCREE:** i cant

 **MCCREE:** not aftre

 **MCCREE:** all the totther shhit that hapened

 **GENJI:** I do not regret all the other shit that happened

 **GENJI:** You need not worry so much

 **GENJI:** Try and have fun jesse

 **GENJI:** Hanzo is not as scary as he seems

 **MCCREE:** i dudno genji

 **MCCREE:** i guess i jst

 **MCCREE:** what if he dsnt like me

 **GENJI:** He likes you

 **MCCREE:** fuck gennji

 **GENJI:** He likes you jesse

 **GENJI:** Would i ever lie to you

 **MCCREE:** no

 **GENJI:** Do you trust me

 **MCCREE:** yes

 **GENJI:** Try and have fun

 **GENJI:** He wont judge you if you dont feel like it

 **GENJI:** You will not disappoint him

 **MCCREE:** th thing is i do feel like it

 **MCCREE:** ive wanted t do this for sso long

 **MCCREE:** i really like him

 **MCCREE:** maybe i oughtyta stop flrtiing like a fuckin idiot

 **GENJI:** Im sure he thinks you are funny and sweet and charming

 **MCCREE:** did he tell yuo that

 **GENJI:** No but i am sure of it

 **GENJI:** I can tell by the way he looks at you

 **GENJI:** If he was not at all interested he wouldve rejected you already

 **GENJI:** Without trouble

 **MCCREE:** well fshit

 **GENJI:** Jesse it will not do you good to dwell on this for too long

 **MCCREE:** y oyumake it look so ea sy

 **GENJI:** What do you mean

 **MCCREE:** datin grabriel and kinda... kinda sdatin jack

 **MCCREE:** definitelty fuckin em fboth

 **MCCREE:** itss pretty obvious who sodleifr67 and ‘ghhost’ are yknow

 **MCCREE:** id recognznie gabriels thgighs anywhere

 **GENJI:** Haha as would i

 **MCCREE:** all of you

 **MCCREE:** al thrree of you ar so happy and ylal know what youre doin

 **GENJI:** I have been insecure and worried plenty of times

 **GENJI:** No relationship is perfect jesse

 **GENJI:** But sometimes you find something that works

 **GENJI:** And you have to hold onto it

 **MCCREE:** yea

 **MCCREE:** spec yure right

 **MCCREE:** man whydve i mbeen sittin here fr so long anyeway im OGNNA GET LAID

 **GENJI:** I would like to congratulate you

 **MCCREE:** I ACCEPT YUR CONGRATULTIONS THANKS PARDENER

 **MCCREE:** SEE YA LATER

 **GENJI:** Remember to drink water jesse

 **MCCREE:** IM SURE I LL BE FINE I HAEVNT HAD A HAGNVOER IN MONTHSD

 **GENJI:** No no

 **GENJI:** No you had so much alcohol

 **GENJI:** Jesse please

 **GENJI:** You did not have any water

 **GENJI:** Jesse you need water

 **GENJI:** Jesse

 **GENJI:** You are now on away and i give up

 **GENJI:** Enjoy the hangover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ some great art: [adorable pharmercy](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/148823887706/ju-nyork-lovebird), [, ](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/147681820111/macabrecabra-the-new-question-of-contemplation%E2%80%9D)[quality reaper 76 comic](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/148336913376/bumbleshark-me-imma-draw-serious-gabriel), [another comic this one’s mchanji](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/146833323151/ch4tte-me-and-my-dumb-yaoi-brain-mccree-fucked), [lyn’s art of two adorable ice bears](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/146634551781/rambamboo-oh-m-god), [SCHOOL AU](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/148709647216/pigdemonart-edit-fixed-the-last-name-of-the), and finally: [**_tiddy city._**](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/148677465591/kananeski-so-what-if)


	18. LOG 10: PART 1/1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit gets serious for all of 5 seconds then it goes to shit again thanks overwatch. hover for translations as usual. sorry for slow updates school's started along with comp s2... chilling in plat
> 
> [check out this TEXTING MERCY](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/149363111681/starsnaces-mercy-texting-is-one-of-the-funniest) //

**\-- JESSE VS. HANZO PARTY CHAT --**

**GENJI:** I suppose the current title is not relevant anymore

**\-- GENJI renamed group from JESSE VS. HANZO PARTY CHAT to LAUGH AT JESSES HANGOVER CHAT --**

**GENJI:** This is good

**GENJI:** Nothing will teach him to drink water quite like shame

**MEI:** How was the party?

**TRACER:** fun!! we had lots of drinks and food and we watched movies!

**MEI:** I will have to participate in the next one. :)

**TRACER:** aww we can have a party just for your return mei

**MEI:** Oh, don’t worry about it! I’m tired from the trip and the jet lag. It would be nice to relax for a little while.

**D.VA:** jet lag suckssss

**MEI:** Haha, it does.

**GENJI:** Has it been nice relaxing

**MEI:** Yes, of course!

**GENJI:** Really

**MEI:** Yes.

**GENJI:** Really

**MEI:** Yes.

**GENJI:** Really

**MEI:** ...Yes, Genji.

**GENJI:** Really

**MEI:** Genji!

**GENJI:** Because all i have seen you do is flirt with zarya

**TRACER:** omg!

**LÚCIO:** omg...

**D.VA:** OMFG

**MEI:** Hey!

**GENJI:** I was just trying to do my morning workout

**D.VA:** you work out??

**GENJI:** Yes dont we all

**D.VA:** uh

**D.VA:** no

**D.VA:** why would a cyborg need to work out

**GENJI:** I do not like having stiff joints

**GENJI:** There are still organic things inside of my body you know

**MERCY:** Remember to increase your water intake.

**GENJI:** Oh yeah

**GENJI:** I have to drink water too

**D.VA:** but you cant eat?

**GENJI:** I do not have a digestive system

**D.VA:** so... what systems DO you have??

**GENJI:** That is not your business

**D.VA:** but mei’s love life IS your business

**GENJI:** Mei and i have a mutual understanding

**GENJI:** Firstly we have bonded over being among the east asians in overwatch

**GENJI:** Secondly we annoy each other all the time

**D.VA:** now thats what i call a friendship

**JUNKRAT:** DO YOU SAY THAT CAUSE YOU CALLED ME AT FIVE AM LAST NIGHT

**D.VA:** yes

**JUNKRAT:** I WAS DRUNK

**D.VA:** i know

**JUNKRAT:** WHY DID YOU DO THAT

**D.VA:**  bored

**GENJI:** Dastardly

**D.VA:** right?

**MEI:** @GENJI: We can discuss this in DMs.

**GENJI:** Oh but the others have so much to add on the topic i am sure of it

**GENJI:** Angela for instance

**MERCY:** I am in full support of your relationship with Aleksandra, should you choose to pursue it.

**MEI:** Angela, please!

**MEI:** I wasn’t flirting, Genji. We were just having a conversation.

**GENJI:** Old excuses

**GENJI:** Remember before i started dating gabe

**MEI:** Oh no.

**GENJI:** Every single night

**MEI:** We don’t have to relive this.

**GENJI:** ‘Genji, have you had sex with him yet? It’s going to happen, right?’

**GENJI:** ‘Genji, I believe in you. You can totally bang Jesse’s mentor. It won’t be weird at all.’

**GENJI:** ‘Genji, just slap his ass! I’m pretty sure that’s how Jack did it, hahaha.’

**GENJI:** ‘Genji, 打他!”  ****

**MEI:** I didn’t say that last one!

**GENJI:** Yes you did

**GENJI:** It was on one of the nights liao forced us to sit down and have some tea together

**GENJI:** We were all there

**GENJI:** Kimiko had her daughter with her and she was making bad jokes all night

**MEI:** Of course you’d remember this.

**GENJI:** I remember most things unfortunately

**MEI:** I never meant to antagonize you.

**GENJI:** Oh i know that

**GENJI:** But i will still take this opportunity to make jokes

**GENJI:** Without further ado

**GENJI:** You liiiiiiiiiiiiiike her

**MEI:** Genji!

**GENJI:** :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

**MEI:** _Genji._

**MERCY:** :heart:

**MEI:** Angela.

**MERCY:** Couldn’t resist.

**MEI:** Genji already got with Gabriel, but you haven’t gotten with either Amari yet.

**MEI:** So don’t think I won’t tease you about it!

**MERCY:** That’s different!

**MERCY:** Also, Ana is dead anyway. :(

**GENJI:** Is it really different though

**MERCY:** Ja!  ****

**MERCY:** Na sicher.  ****

**MERCY:** In any case, women liking other women is always good to see.

**GENJI:** In general or in overwatch

**MERCY:** Both.

**MERCY:** The men of Overwatch have never been shy about their sexualities, that’s for sure.

**GENJI:** True

**MERCY:** Though I must admit, your unconventional relationship with Gabriel and Jack has always been entertaining for the rest of us.

**GENJI:** What

**GENJI:** How

**MERCY:** I mean, you three have always been entertaining people. Being together sort of... amplified it.

**MERCY:** It was made funnier by how different all of you were.

**MERCY:** Jack as the somewhat strict commander, Gabriel as the more lax captain who tried to be threatening, you being yourself.

**GENJI:** Thanks

**GENJI:** I think

**MERCY:** But it was clear that you all cared for each other deeply and loved each other very much.

**MERCY:** It was heartwarming.

**MERCY:** For instance, seeing things in the dining hall like Gabriel holding Jack’s or your hand.

**MEI:** I remember that. :)

**MERCY:** Some people didn’t approve.

**MERCY:** Even 10 years ago, we thought we lived in a pretty progressive world, didn’t we?

**MERCY:** In the golden age of Overwatch, everything seemed... perfect.

**MERCY:** About as peaceful as that age could be.

**MERCY:** Thoughts considered radical half a century ago became less so.

**MERCY:** Acceptance became the norm. I like to think it still is.

**MERCY:** And even then, not everyone approved of the relationship.

**GENJI:** Yes i recall the insults

**GENJI:** Some played off as jokes

**GENJI:** But i was not blind to their true intent

**MERCY:** No, I suppose you weren’t. None of you were, though Jack was oblivious to rude comments and the passive aggression, at least more than Gabriel and yourself.

**MEI:** Gabriel didn’t take to the comments well.

**MERCY:** Perhaps in a less accepting society, the relationship you three had wouldn’t have been as public as it was.

**MERCY:** At least to those within Overwatch.

**GENJI:** Yes having to hide a relationship is unpleasant

**MERCY:** I suppose what I mean to say is, the three of you were inspiring for the rest of us who dared to love unconventionally.

**MERCY:** You know, same-sex relationships used to be illegal?

**MERCY:** An affair as private as a relationship against the very law.

**GENJI:** Oh i have heard about that a few times

**MERCY:** How barbaric.

**GENJI:** It is heartbreaking to think about

**MERCY:** I admit, I try not to think about it.

**MERCY:** The three of you always gave me a funny sort of hope, as odd as that may sound.

**GENJI:** I will take it as a compliment

**MEI:** So how does this relate to your crush on Fareeha?

**MERCY:** It doesn’t.

**GENJI:** You are admitting it then

**MERCY:** No!

**MERCY:** Maybe?

**MERCY:** None of your business!

**GENJI:** Hahaha

**MEI:** Keeping up with this chat has been worth it.

**MEI:** I read the party transcript, Angela. You were talking to Fareeha and everything. ;)

**MERCY:** Enough teasing me.

**MERCY:** Where’s Jesse?

**GENJI:** Definitely hungover

**GENJI:** Likely with hanzo

**MERCY:** Wait, what?

**GENJI:** Did you not notice him leaving the party last night in the company of my brother

**MERCY:** No, I was...

**MERCY:** Watching the movie.

**MERCY:** With the dragons.

**GENJI:** You were likely watching fareeha

**GENJI:** But yes jesse and hanzo left together last night

**MERCY:** Verdammt. **** I’ve definitely lost the first bet, then.

**GENJI:** You may win the second

**MERCY:** Ja, perhaps.

**MERCY:** I was counting on them  _ not _ sleeping on the first date, though.

**MERCY:** Sigh.

**MERCY:** _Men._

**GENJI:** Yes men

**GENJI:** I like men

**MERCY:** You like everyone.

**GENJI:** Not everyone

**MERCY:** You know what I mean.

**GENJI:** I know

**GENJI:** People are fun to sleep with

**GENJI:** Gabe is my favourite and always will be

**GENJI:** Anyway if jesse is awake i wish i knew what is going on between him and my brother

**MERCY:** We can only wonder.

**GENJI:** @MCCREE

**MERCY:** Is that really going to work? You yourself said he was likely with Hanzo.

**GENJI:** Hanzo is not fond of staying the morning after

**GENJI:** I am not sure what he would do with jesse

**MERCY:** I suppose all we can do at this point is guess.

**GENJI:** Yes we can

**GENJI:** I will say it is possible simply because he likes jesse

**GENJI:** But even i as a person who has taken many lovers

**GENJI:** Well

**GENJI:** Liking someone and staying committed to them are different things

**GENJI:** When you assume what you are doing is for one night only

**GENJI:** It speaks volumes to be there during the morning

**GENJI:** I would have my fun and leave as soon as possible

**GENJI:** With hanzo it is harder to guess

**MERCY:** Why is that?

**GENJI:** He has taken few lovers

**GENJI:** There is not much to work from barring what he has told me himself

**GENJI:** Which is not very much 

**MCCREE:** mornin yall

**MCCREE:** someone ring?

**GENJI:** Good morning jesse

**GENJI:** How bad is the hangover

**MCCREE:** pretty darn

**GENJI:** Did i not warn you

**MCCREE:** cmon genji

**MCCREE:** you dont really expect me to know the answer to that do ya

**GENJI:** Well you were drunk

**GENJI:** I suppose i should set my expectations lower than they already are

**GENJI:** But that would be difficult as they are beneath ground level

**GENJI:** Anyway now for the more important question

**MCCREE:** yeah: anyone gonna cook up some hash browns?

**MCCREE:** i know i aint the only hungover fella round here

**GENJI:** No jesse

**GENJI:** Well maybe

**GENJI:** About the hash browns im not sure if anyone is cooking

**GENJI:** Order from the table menu like everyone else we do not all have time to prepare our own meals

**GENJI:** I meant no that is not the question i wanted to ask

**MCCREE:** i think that was a pretty darn good question 

**GENJI:** Sure

**GENJI:** Anyway did you have sex with my brother

**MCCREE:** hey thats personal

**GENJI:** So is that a yes

**MCCREE:** i aint answerin

**GENJI:** @HANZO: Did you have sex with jesse

**MCCREE:** he aint answerin either

**GENJI:** Jesse do not make this more difficult than it needs to be

**GENJI:** I will crush your trachea

**MCCREE:** whoa there

**MCCREE:** weve had ourselves enough breathplay with reyes

**MCCREE:** youghtnt flirt with me now

**D.VA:** ‘youghtnt’????

**D.VA:** what??

**GENJI:** Ok

**GENJI:** I have decided i will not focus on whether or not you and hanzo had sex

**GENJI:** Because your word abomination is somehow an even worse sin than not gracing me with your sex life secrets

**MCCREE:** whats wrong with typin youghtnt it makes perfect sense

**MEI:** No, not really.

**TRACER:** what in the world jess??

**MCCREE:** its like

**MCCREE:** you shouldnt

**MCCREE:** shouldnt flirt with me i mean

**GENJI** Why must you interpret my threat as a flirt

**MCCREE:** oh gee i dont know genji

**MCCREE:** maybe cause weve fuckin slept together before and thats the kinda thing youve said in bed??

**GENJI:** No not really

**GENJI:** Gabe was usually on top

**GENJI:** I did not have to speak much with him around

**MCCREE:** oh my lord

**MCCREE:** you know what i mean

**GENJI:** Yes sure

**HANZO:** Who notified me.

**GENJI:** I did

**HANZO:** Ok bye.

**GENJI:** Wow

**GENJI:** Ok rude

**TRACER:** hahaha!

**D.VA:** ㅋㅋ  ****

**D.VA:** shut doowwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

**GENJI:** @HANZO

**HANZO:** What do you want.

**GENJI:** First of all i still want you to use question marks

**GENJI:** But you will not do that

**HANZO:** I do not see why I should.

**MERCY:** It would help you be less unsettling, apparently.

**HANZO:** Hm.

**MCCREE:** gabriel aint around so hanzo can stop usin question marks if he wants

**GENJI:** Oh now you are on his side

**GENJI:** You definitely slept together

**HANZO:** Is that why you summoned me.

**GENJI:** Yes

**GENJI:** I wanted confirmation

**HANZO:** Ok bye.

**GENJI:** Anija please 

**MCCREE:** aw genji dont press him

**GENJI:** I will press all i want

**GENJI:** That is my duty as the younger brother

**GENJI:** Hanzo already performed his duty remember

**MCCREE:** huh

**GENJI: Murdering me**

**MCCREE:** oh yeah

**MCCREE:** that

**HANZO:** Genji please.

**GENJI:** Eat shit  anija  ****

**HANZO:** I’m sorry.

**GENJI:** I know

**TRACER:** cant really blame him for bringing it up sometimes :P

**GENJI:** What better way to deal with the second most traumatic event of my life than to make jokes about it

**D.VA:** second most??

**GENJI:** Yes the worst was watching hanzo type questions without question marks

**D.VA:** oh wow

**MCCREE:** im gonna go out on a limb here

**MCCREE:** and guess youre exaggeratin

**MERCY:** Regardless of whether or not that’s a hyperbole, I’m sure we can all agree on one thing:

**MCCREE:** hanzo should use question marks

**GENJI:** Hanzo should use question marks

**D.VA:** pineapple on pizza is shit

**MERCY:** What?

**GENJI:** What

**HANZO:** What.

**MCCREE:** true

**REINHARDT:** not true

**MCCREE:** what

**MCCREE:** reinhardt no

**D.VA:** gramps why

**REINHARDT:** i love pineapple on pizza

**D.VA:** im disowning you

**PHARAH:** Were none of you aware?

**PHARAH:** It’s one of his trivia facts on his Wikipedia article.

**D.VA:** you have a wikipedia article??

**REINHARDT:** dont you

**D.VA:** well yeah obviously

**D.VA:** but nobody READS those

**PHARAH:** I do.

**MCCREE:** i aint got the patience

**GENJI:** @MERCY: What were we all supposed to agree on

**MERCY:** Coleslaw is shit.

**GENJI:** I

**REINHARDT:** true.

**D.VA:** true

**MCCREE:** fair enough

**TRACER:** not true :(

**D.VA:** why does everyone in overwatch have a bad food opinion

**MCCREE:** kimchi is bad

**D.VA:** wrong!!!!!!

**MCCREE:** its bad

**GENJI:** This is a pointless discussion

**D.VA:** it isnt cause now i know not to matrix jesse the next time hes on my team and has to ult

**GENJI:** Hahaha

**MCCREE:** aw cmon hana

**HANZO:** Wow.

**MCCREE:** yaint gotta punish me on the field

**REINHARDT:** you deserve it for saying kimchi is bad.

**MCCREE:** so what

**MCCREE:** you like brussel sprouts

**D.VA:** eughhhh

**PHARAH:** Why, Reinhardt?

**REINHARDT:** hey, they’re good.

**PHARAH:** No, Reinhardt.

**D.VA:** brussel sprouts are the worst

**TRACER:** agreed!!

**REINHARDT:** ok lena at least i dont like peas

**TRACER:** peas are good i dont know why everyone hates them so much :(

**MCCREE:** theyre alright buttered but i spec they aint much otherwise

**REINHARDT:** they truly are the worst fruit.

**D.VA:** haha nice prequel reference

**PHARAH:** You are aware that peas are fruits, right?

**MERCY:** Botanically.

**MCCREE:** not logically

**HANZO:** Peas are disgusting.

**GENJI:** Youre too picky hanzo

**HANZO:** You have bad taste.

**GENJI:** No i dont

**GENJI:** Even you think gabe is cute

**GENJI:** Also

**GENJI:** You cant judge me

**GENJI:** You fucked jesse

**HANZO:** You also fucked Jesse.

**GENJI:** OH

**GENJI: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**

**HANZO:** What

**MCCREE:** babe...

 

**\-- GENJI pinned a message to #RECEIPTS: [HANZO: You also fucked Jesse.] --**

 

**TRACER:** wait what

**D.VA:** ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  ****

**MERCY:** Oh my.

**MERCY:** I’ve definitely lost the first bet.

**PHARAH:** This is amazing.

**TRACER:** wait WHAT???

**HANZO:** くそ.  ****

**GENJI:** LENA

**GENJI:** HE SAID ‘ALSO’

**TRACER:** OH

**TRACER:** looks like i lost the first bet too :/

**MCCREE:** we couldnt even keep it a secret for as long as jack and gabriel did

**GENJI:** It was hardly a secret

**GENJI:** In any case you and hanzo only slept together

**GENJI:** That is not the same as jack and gabe dating

**GENJI:**  A relationship is not the same as a one night stand

**MCCREE:** says who it was just a one night stand

**GENJI:** Ok valid point

**GENJI:** But having sex once is still not the same as a relationship

**MCCREE:** yeah yeah i know

**TRACER:** are you two dating??

**MCCREE:** uh

**HANZO:** None of your business.

**MERCY:** Mein gott.  ****

**GENJI:** Thats a no

**TRACER:** haha how can you tell?

**GENJI:** You do not know hanzo

**GENJI:** I know hanzo

**GENJI:** Take my word on it

**TRACER:** if you say so :)

**HANZO:** Anyway.

**HANZO:** What bet.

**GENJI:** Oh right the bets

**MCCREE:** the bets??

**D.VA:** i think i might win the second one!!!

**GENJI:** We shall see

**HANZO:** What are the bets.

**GENJI:** You do not want to know brother

**PHARAH:** He clearly does.

**GENJI:** But he will not be happy to hear it

**TRACER:** is he ever happy to hear anything?

**GENJI:** No

**HANZO:** No.

**MCCREE:** you were happy to hear SOME things last night

**HANZO:** Stop typing.

**MCCREE:** okay hun :heart:

**D.VA:** omfg

**HANZO:** Now tell me what bet.

**GENJI:** Never

**HANZO:** @MERCY

**GENJI:** NO

**MERCY:** Your brother set up two betting pools for two bets, for the people in this group to guess when you and Jesse would 1. sleep together and 2. start dating.

**HANZO:** Are you kidding me.

**MERCY:** No, Hanzo.

**TRACER:** i think he was being rhetorical

**MERCY:** I know.

**GENJI:** ANGELA HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS

**MERCY:** Hey, your brother’s a good friend of mine now.

**GENJI:** _ANGELA_

**GENJI:** THAT IS SO

**GENJI:** SO

**GENJI:** HETERO

**MERCY:** Rude.

**GENJI:** I apologize for the outburst but i was really feeling betrayed there

**MERCY:** I choose to forgive you, just this once.

**GENJI:** You are truly filled with

**GENJI:** Mercy

**MERCY:** I rescind my forgiveness.

**MCCREE:** GOOD ONE GENJI

**GENJI:** Thank you jesse

**D.VA:** hey where is everyone else anyway??

**D.VA:** only a handful of this group actually talks in here

**MCCREE:** im pretty sure weve all said a word or two

**PHARAH:** Or a hundred.

**MCCREE:** yeah some of us just talk more than the rest s all

**D.VA:** so... where ARE the others?

**D.VA:** whatre they up to when were not training?

**GENJI:** You are usually gaming

**GENJI:** Jesse is almost always in here because he has no hobbies

**MCCREE:** hey that aint true

**MCCREE:** sometimes im at the shootin range

**GENJI:** Hanzo is usually at the shooting range or alone in his room drinking

**HANZO:** Do not judge my self-isolation.

**TRACER:** sounds more like solitary confinement :P

**HANZO:** やめる.  ****

**GENJI:** Lena is out flirting with girls

**TRACER:** hey!!

**TRACER:** alright youre not WRONG...

**GENJI:** Fareeha is sometimes working out and sometimes flirting with angela

**PHARAH:** Hey.

**MERCY:** Well, he’s not wrong.

**GENJI:** Angela is sometimes flirting with fareeha but most of the time working

**GENJI:** Either in the infirmary or researching

**MERCY:** You know... medical stuff.

**GENJI:** Yes

**D.VA:** lúcios usually makin tunes or listening to them

**LÚCIO:** yup. :)

**LÚCIO:** mixing and mastering right now!

**D.VA:** best of luck!!

**LÚCIO:** thanks!

**GENJI:** Reinhardt is sometimes working out and spends a lot of time polishing his armor

**REINHARDT:** it’s important to take good care of it.

**GENJI:** Of course

**GENJI:** I understand

**GENJI:** I have to do the same

**REINHARDT:** yes

**GENJI:** Jackie spends a lot of time brooding not unlike hanzo

**REINHARDT:** @SOLDIER: 76

**SOLDIER: 76:** what?

**GENJI:** Oh

**GENJI:** Hello jackie

**HANZO:** What.

**SOLDIER: 76:** i dont brood.

**SOLDIER: 76:** that’s gabe’s thing.

**GENJI:** Yes but gabe is not here right now is he

**SOLDIER: 76:** uh...

**MERCY:** I don’t know, Genji, is he?

**GENJI:** He is not

**MCCREE:** yall are weird

**MCCREE:** gabriels dead

**GENJI:** Correct

**MERCY:** Alright.

**MCCREE:** ...alrighty then

**GENJI:** Winston is often working

**MERCY:** He's currently processing some data based on the recent training sessions.

**TRACER:** you mean fights?

**MERCY:** They’re training sessions, Lena.

**D.VA:** its just us fighting each other

**D.VA:** theres a lot of dying

**MCCREE:** yeah some of my deaths have been real unpleasant

**D.VA:** thanks for the rezzes though mom

**MERCY:** Oh, no problem. :)

**D.VA:** earlier i passed the cafeteria and i saw jamie and satya having a conversation

**GENJI:** What

**TRACER:** hmm i thought satya didnt like him much?

**TRACER:** a few of our habits seem to bother her but i cant blame her :P

**HANZO:** Yes.

**HANZO:** Some of the Overwatch traditions are positively repulsive.

**TRACER:** thats harsh, love!

**GENJI:** I am obliged to agree with hanzo

**GENJI:** It is not ok to dip biscuits in ketchup

**D.VA:** eww

**SYMMETRA:** ‘Eww’ is correct.

**D.VA:** satya!!

**SYMMETRA:** Greetings.

**D.VA:** how are you?

**SYMMETRA:** Fine. I am working right now, so I cannot stay to chat for long.

**D.VA:** aw

**D.VA:** well thats ok work is important sometimes

**GENJI:** What are you working on

**SYMMETRA:** Another hard light construct. It is off the drawing board, which is good, so I am finalizing the holographic diagrams.

**D.VA:** ooh that sounds neat

**SYMMETRA:** I suppose so, yes.

**SYMMETRA:** The next render is ready. I will talk to you later, Hana.

**D.VA:** see yaaaaa :sparkling_heart:

**GENJI:** Satya is usually working it seems

**D.VA:** yeah! shes got these real neat hard light structures

**D.VA:** theyre all really cool i wont lie

**GENJI:** I am not fond of the turrets

**TRACER:** neither am i :(

**MCCREE:** they aint too bad if you shoot em from a distance

**MCCREE:** yall cant always rush in

**TRACER:** thats kind of my thing though jess :P

**PHARAH:** Get good.

**TRACER:** this is off topic but im just curious

**TRACER:** has everyone in this group chat spoken??

**MCCREE:** seems like it

**MCCREE:** but therere quite a few people

**TRACER:** a lot of the old overwatch members left though...

**WINSTON:** Overwatch activity is illegal, so can you blame them?

**MCCREE:** naw not really

**GENJI:** Most of the chat members have participated

**TRACER:** most???

**TRACER:** who hasnt said anything yet at least once??

**GENJI:** Out of ‘active’ members

**GENJI:** Only one

**GENJI:** Though a few people have said little

**MCCREE:** neat

**TRACER:** then whos the one member, love?

**GENJI:** @BASTION

**TRACER:** wait... isnt bastion an omnic?

**WINSTON:** That would be correct.

**PHARAH:** A bastion unit in our chat group, how unusual.

**D.VA:** oh yeah youre up for next week arent you bastion

**WINSTON:** I had to give it some tuneups before it could join us in training.

**BASTION:** 01100010 01100101 01100101 01110000 (〃＾▽＾〃) 

**TRACER:** oh hello there love!

**BASTION:** 01100010 01101111 01101111 01110000 (o´∀｀o)

**TRACER:** i have no idea what youre trying to tell us but ok!

**D.VA:** its just binary code

**GENJI:** To you perhaps

**D.VA:** ok then smartass

**GENJI:** Do not feel bad for not understanding a bastion unit omnic

**GENJI:** After all 

**GENJI:** You are only human

**HANZO:** You’re human too.

**GENJI:** Shut up hanzo

**BASTION:** 01111010 01110111 01100101 01100101 ? (〃＞＿＜;〃)

**GENJI:** No its ok

**GENJI:** Your accent is fine

**BASTION:** 01100010 01100101 01100101 01110000  (´｡• ω •｡`) ♡

**GENJI:** Aww thank you

**D.VA:** i ran the code through a translator

**D.VA:** all i got was ‘beep’ ‘boop’ ‘zwee’ and ‘beep’ again

**MCCREE:** aint that the kinda thing omnics say

**MCCREE:** if they dont talk i mean

**D.VA:** well

**D.VA:** yeah pretty much

**MCCREE:** so how the hell does genji get more outta that than noises

**GENJI:** You have to hover over each character

**TRACER:** with... my finger? my cursor? im on mobile so...

**GENJI:** No no no

**GENJI:** With your consciousness

**D.VA:** yeah youre definitely fucking with us

**PHARAH:** And  _ you _ can do this, Genji?

**GENJI:** I have many skills available to my use

**GENJI:** Understanding the majority of omnic speech is one of them

**BASTION:** ρ(-ω-、)ヾ(￣ω￣; )

**GENJI:** @ZENYATTA can explain

**ZENYATTA:** I am not sure if I have anything to add to what you’ve already said.

**ZENYATTA:** It has to do with us being connected to the network and ‘connected’ to the chat in a way that an unmodified human cannot replicate.

**GENJI:** Perhaps if you experience severe head trauma angela can give you the same ability

**TRACER:** err im not sure if im willing to risk it

**TRACER:** sounds cool though!

**GENJI:** Communication between omnics is extremely efficient thanks to this

**GENJI:** It is like

**GENJI:** Telepathy i guess

**GENJI:** But cooler because its real

**TRACER:** says who telepathy isnt real??

**GENJI:** Says me

**TRACER:** pfff

**D.VA:** so whats up with the kaomoji?

**GENJI:** The message usually ties to any images or emoticons are added to it

**ZENYATTA:** Images and emoticons are also used to show intent and emotion.

**ZENYATTA:** Omnics do not feel in the same way as humans, so an easy way to start understanding them is to look at images or emoticons following their coded message.

**GENJI:** In this case bastion uses binary code for the core message and kaomoji to supplement it

**ZENYATTA:** Both are fairly common, though plenty of Omnics use different speech patterns.

**ZENYATTA:** Morse code, for example.

**TRACER:** i feel like i should know this stuff

**MCCREE:** i sure as heck dont

**MCCREE:** even though its basic omnic crisis history crap

**JUNKRAT:** GET THESE TIN CANS OUT OF THE CHAT

**GENJI:** No

**JUNKRAT:** AAAAAAAAUGHHHH

**JUNKRAT:** YOU BOTS ARE THE WORST

**GENJI:** Im a cyborg

**TRACER:** omnics and robots arent the same thing!!

**D.VA:** omnics are robots tho

**TRACER:** still not the same :/

**JUNKRAT:** ILL BLOW YOU ALL UP

**JUNKRAT:** ILL BLOW THEM UP TO BITS

**D.VA:** isnt that your job jamie?

**JUNKRAT:** WELL

**JUNKRAT:** YEAH

**JUNKRAT:** KIND OF

**JUNKRAT:** BUT NOT OFF THE BATTLEFIELD

**JUNKRAT:** IM TRYING TO MAKE A THREAT HERE MATE!!!!!!!

**D.VA:** i know jamie

**ZARYA:** I must agree with the loud man.

**ZARYA:** The members of Overwatch are fools to trust and work with omnics.

**GENJI:** I am still not an omnic

**ZARYA:** But you are half machine.

**GENJI:** It is great

**GENJI:** I am insulted for being part human by omnics

**GENJI:** And i am insulted for being part machine by humans

**HANZO:** Very rude.

**D.VA:** doth mine eyes deceive me or did hanzo just fucking defend genji

**GENJI:** 笑笑笑笑

**GENJI:** What the fuck

**BASTION:** 01100010 01100101 01100101 01110000 ? ╰(*´︶`*)╯

**GENJI:** No i do not get along with hanzo

**GENJI:** And yes i am trying

**GENJI:** But he is not trying

**HANZO:** I’m trying.

**GENJI:** Sure  anija

**BASTION:** 01100010 01101111 01101111 01110000 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

**GENJI:** We are brothers

**BASTION:** 01110111 01101000 01110010 01110010 ? ( ´∀｀)ノ

**GENJI:** We are definitely brothers

**D.VA:** wow this is a really weird conversation because youre still typing in english

**GENJI:** Bastion is typing in english

**GENJI:** Just

**GENJI:** In code

**GENJI:** Several layers of communication

**GENJI:** But it is mostly english

**D.VA:** mostly??

**GENJI:** Widespread language is not an issue for me to translate

**GENJI:** It is made up languages and obscure codes that cause issues with my internal translator

**GENJI:** Fortunately most omnics stick to the language of their manufacturer

**GENJI:** Their omnium

**ZENYATTA:** There is some German mixed in Bastion’s words.

**GENJI:** Yes

**GENJI:** These questions are getting too personal

**GENJI:** I must go

**MCCREE:** why the heck

**GENJI:** None of your business cowboy

**BASTION:** 01100010 01100101 01100101 01110000 ? (*/_＼)

**GENJI:** It is not your fault

**TRACER:** hahaha what is going on?

**JUNKRAT:** NOTHING GOOD

**JUNKRAT:** EVERYTHING BAD

**JUNKRAT:** I DONT TRUST YOU LOT

**ZARYA:** Agreed. I have my eye on all of you.

**ZENYATTA:** It is of greatest reassurance that we will be under your observation, Ms. Zaryanova. I believe we will feel safer that way.

**D.VA:** oh my god

**TRACER:** why cant we all just get along :(

**BASTION:** (╯︵╰,)

**PHARAH:** Mistrust of omnics runs deep, Lena. You can’t fault people for that.

**TRACER:** yeah

**TRACER:** i know its just

**TRACER:** its a bloody shame!!!!

**TRACER:** we all have to live and work together anyway!!

**TRACER:** so the sooner we get along the better!!!

**JUNKRAT:** WHATEVER

**JUNKRAT:** THEY BETTER NOT INTERFERE WITH MY BBQING

**D.VA:** youre bbqing?

**JUNKRAT:** YEAH!

**TRACER:** right now??

**JUNKRAT:** YEAH!!

**D.VA:** its 3 in the morning

**JUNKRAT:** WHAT IS YOUR POINT

**TRACER:** um

**TRACER:** its a little late for bbq dont you think

**JUNKRAT:** HOW DARE YOU EVEN SPEAK TO ME

**ZARYA:** Three in the morning is a good time to be asleep

**JUNKRAT:** IF I WANT BBQ IM GONNA HAVE BBQ

**TRACER:** why dont you just order it from the menu?

**JUNKRAT:** CAUSE I LIKE MAKING IT MYSELF

**D.VA:** THREE IN THE MORNING

**JUNKRAT:** YOU DONT RUN MY LIFE

**D.VA:** JAMIE GO THE FUCK TO BED!!!!

**JUNKRAT:** FUCK OFF HANA

**D.VA:** ILL TELL MAKO ON YOU

**JUNKRAT:** DONT YOU DARE

**D.VA:** @ROADHOG

**JUNKRAT:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**ROADHOG:** what.

**D.VA:** TELL JAMIE TO SLEEP

**D.VA:** HES STILL UP

**D.VA:** BBQING

**TRACER:** this is ridiculous loves

**JUNKRAT:** IM HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**ROADHOG:** go to bed.

**JUNKRAT:** FINE!!!!!!!

**JUNKRAT:** BUT IM EATING WHAT I COOKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**ROADHOG:** whatever.

**D.VA:** the mom voice saves us again

**GENJI:** Good job boiz

**MCCREE:** get outta here genji

**BASTION:** ... (￣▽￣*)ゞ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ [beep boop](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7324573/chapters/17152258)


	19. LOG 11: PART 1/3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anyway my current playtime for my heroes currently goes lucio > pharah > ana > reaper
> 
> it is not acceptable that ana is now above reaper because im supposed to be a dps main or something. havent been playing lucio but he's obviously up there because core healer pick. and why is pharah my second most played hero despite the fact that i do not consider myself a pharah main?
> 
> i really fucking hate torbjorn and his turret. //

**\-- LAUGH AT JESSES HANGOVER CHAT --**

 

 **D.VA:** so whatre the relationships in this group

 **D.VA:** im sure theres juicy gossip to be had

 **GENJI:** Oh i know

 **GENJI:** Hold on let me draw it out for you

 **D.VA:** nice!

 **GENJI:** I took the liberty of adding a few comments

 **D.VA:** n... nice

 **GENJI:** [[Overwatch is gay.png]]

**GHOST:** what.

 **GHOST:** when did jack sleep with liao.

 **GENJI:** You didnt know

 **GHOST:** no.

 **D.VA:** who the fuck are you

 **GENJI:** This is my boyfriend

 **GENJI:** Remember from the party

 **D.VA:** ohhhhhh yeah!

 **D.VA:** you had that cool plague doctor bird mask

 **D.VA:** nice to meet you!

 **GHOST:** thanks.

 **GENJI:** You seriously didnt know

 **GHOST:** no.

 **GHOST:** he never brought it up.

 **GENJI:** It was before you two started dating anyway

 **GENJI:** There was a lot of sleeping around those days

 **GENJI:** And drinking

 **MCCREE:** hold on

 **MCCREE:** ‘gabe’???

 **GENJI:** Oh my god

 **GHOST:** oh my god.

 **MCCREE:** GABRIEL REYES

 **GENJI:** Jesse stop

 **GENJI:** You are embarrassing yourself

 **MCCREE:** WHAT THE HELL

 **MCCREE:** THATS GABRIEL???

 **MCCREE:** THATS

 **MCCREE:** THATS GABRIEL????????????

 **MERCY:** I’m surprised it took you this long to figure it out.

 **PHARAH:** It took me most of the party night, to be honest.

 **PHARAH:** But I saw him take Genji’s hand and pull him in, just like he used to do.

 **MCCREE:** ok but that was ten goddamn years ago

 **MCCREE:** so

 **MCCREE:** soldier: 76 is jack???

 **MCCREE:** according to genji’s chart i mean

 **GENJI:** Yes jesse

 **GENJI:** ‘Ghost’ is gabriel reyes

 **GENJI:** Soldier: 76 is jack morrison

 **GENJI:** You actually figured this out last night when you were drunk how have you forgotten

 **GHOST:** might as well change my name now too.

 **GENJI:** Oh yeah sure

 **REAPER:** thanks.

 **MCCREE:** I DUNNO i was really drunk i forget shit

 **MCCREE:** ive gotta be dreamin this up though somebody pinch me

 **MCCREE:** OW

 **MCCREE:** FUCK

 **MCCREE:** NOT THAT HARD

 **HANZO:** Sorry.

 **GENJI:** Why hanzo

 **HANZO:** I was in the vicinity.

 **GENJI:** Of jesses room

 **HANZO:** No we are in the cafeteria.

 **GENJI:** Oh

 **GENJI:** Ok that makes sense

 **GENJI:** Can you get me something

 **HANZO:** No.

 **GENJI:** (｡•́︿•̀｡)

 **HANZO:** No.

 **GENJI:** お願いします  ****

**HANZO:** No.

 **HANZO:** You have legs go get it yourself.

 **GENJI:** But i dont want to get up

 **MCCREE:** genji aint lazy hanzo

 **MCCREE:** theres gotta be a reason he aint fetching his own crap

 **TRACER:** his bum hurts :)

 **GENJI:** Hey

 **MCCREE:** yeah spec that sounds about right

 **MCCREE:** cmon lets grab him his stuff

 **HANZO:** No.

 **GENJI:** 兄者  ****

**HANZO:** Fine.

 **HANZO:** You brat.

 **GENJI:** Thank you

 **GENJI:** You know what to bring

 **TRACER:** @GENJI: so howd you sneak those two into the facility?

 **TRACER:** and into your room?

 **GENJI:** What happens in my quarters stays in my quarters

 **TRACER:** err

 **TRACER:** i dunno about that love..

 **TRACER:** most of overwatch has seen your side twitter account :/

 **GENJI:** Ah

 **GENJI:** True

 **GENJI:** Well i have a deal with athena

 **TRACER:** hmm

 **TRACER:** looking at your relationships chart

 **TRACER:** gabe kinda reminds me of someone else winston and i met in numbani at the museum

 **TRACER:** a certain terrorist

 **GENJI:** Yeah thats him

 **TRACER:** youre not even gonna try denying it??

 **GENJI:** Like i said i have a deal with athena

 **GENJI:** I am not worried about her kicking him out

 **TRACER:** lemme guess

 **TRACER:** youre the reason winstons eating healthy

 **GENJI:** Correct

 **TRACER:** hahaha well ill be honest love im kind of impressed!

 **TRACER:** we cant all sneak criminals into base ;P

 **GENJI:** Gabe did when he dragged jesse home

 **PHARAH:** I remember that day.

 **PHARAH:** The first thing I noticed was Captain Reyes’ wounds.

 **PHARAH:** Then I saw Jesse.

 **TRACER:** ooh i wasnt there! what happened after?

 **PHARAH:** My mother went up to Reyes to ask him about the mission in Deadlock Gorge.

 **PHARAH:** You might’ve heard Jesse talking about being a part of the Deadlock Gang. From what I’ve heard about the Shimada Clan, the two groups were similar what with the illicit substance and weapon trafficking.

 **PHARAH:** I think Captain Reyes felt sorry for Jesse, in a way.

 **TRACER:** whys that?

 **GENJI:** Terrible fashion sense

 **MERCY:** Beyond the questionable mix of cowboy attire and biker gang clothing, well...

 **MERCY:** He was just a teenager. Seventeen, like me.

 **PHARAH:** Still, murder is murder, and Captain Reyes knew Jesse wouldn’t have it easy in prison.

 **PHARAH:** I don’t say this lightly, but he saved Jesse’s life.

 **MERCY:** Giving him a second chance, so to speak.

 **MCCREE:** yeah

 **MCCREE:** i know all about second chances

 **MCCREE:** we dont have to discuss it

 **TRACER:** sorry love! i got curious...

 **MCCREE:** s all good lena

 **MCCREE:** dont like thinkin bout the past much it aint your fault

 **HANZO:** @GENJI: Open the door.

 **MCCREE:** aw genjid hear us comin from down the hall

 **MCCREE:** cyborg perks an whatnot

 **HANZO:** Then why has he not opened the door.

 **MCCREE:** dunno

 **MCCREE:** like lena said his ass probably hurts

 **HANZO:** I see.

 **MCCREE:** dont worry his door has me on its approval list

 **MCCREE:** well im sure youre on it too but lemme

 **MCCREE:** lemme just

 **MCCREE:** put my hand on the scanner

 **MCCREE:** there we go

 **MCCREE:** and the doors open

 **HANZO:** Amazing.

 **MCCREE:** sure is

 **MCCREE:** lets

 **MCCREE:** OH NO

 **HANZO:** What.

 **MCCREE:** dont stop to type LOOK UP

 **MCCREE:** WAIT NO DONT LOOK UP DO NOT LOOK UP

 **MCCREE:** KEEP LOOKIN AT YOUR PHONE

 **MCCREE:** LETS GO

 **HANZO:** What is it.

 **MCCREE:** MOVE

 **MCCREE:** CHRIST YOU MIGHT HAVE DELICATE ANKLES BUT YOU DO NOT FUCKIN MOVE WHEN YOU ARE SHOVED

 **HANZO:** What is the matter Jesse.

 **MCCREE:** ok well

 **MCCREE:** lets just say

 **MCCREE:** doors are locked for a reason

 **MCCREE:** reasons like

 **MERCY:** Privacy.

 **PHARAH:** Security.

 **HANZO:** Jesse stand aside.

 **HANZO:** Just let me leave this tray on his table.

 **MCCREE:** NO

 **HANZO:** Do not make me hurt you.

 **MCCREE:** ILL TAKE A BEATIN IF IT MEANS YOU DONT GO IN THERE

 **HANZO:** Move!

 **MCCREE:** I AINT GONNA

 **PHARAH:** What is going on?

 **MERCY:** Nothing good, by the sounds of it.

 **MERCY:** Perhaps I should go over there to take a look.

 **MCCREE:** OW FUCK FUCK FUCK

 **TRACER:** you alright love?

 **MCCREE:** he shouted shit in japanese

 **MCCREE:** long story short ive got some cool new wounds on my skin

 **MERCY:** That does not sound good.

 **MCCREE:** yeah well fightin spirit dragons aint exactly my forte angie

 **MCCREE:** SHIT HE WALKED INSIDE

 **MCCREE:** @HANZO @HANZO

 **MCCREE:** @HANZO

 **MCCREE:** FUCK

 **D.VA:** genji’s having sex in there isn’t he

**MCCREE: MAYBE**

**D.VA:** i have to take my headphones off i wanna hear this

 **D.VA:** ooh thats a lot of japanese shouting

 **D.VA:** i love drama ^o^

 **MCCREE:** @MERCY help

 **MERCY:** I will be there shortly.

 **MCCREE:** hanzo aint even said anything

 **MCCREE:** i cant tell if hes shocked or what

 **D.VA:** LMAO WHAT WAS THAT

 **MCCREE:** gabriel said hi

 **MCCREE:** hes talkin in spanish like he does when he loses his cool a lil

 **MCCREE:** he asked hanzo ‘how are you’

 **MCCREE:** hanzo said hi

 **MCCREE:** gabriel asked him how the weather is

 **MCCREE:** hanzo said its fine

 **MCCREE:** this is really awkward

 **PHARAH:** You should record it.

 **MCCREE:** hell no dealin with two dragons was enough i aint need both shimadas and gabriel on my tail

 **PHARAH:** You’ve recorded Reyes being beat up by my mother.

 **MCCREE:** yeah but that was just gabriel

 **MCCREE:** this is on a whole nother level right here fareeha

 **TRACER:** id help you out but i was just heading to the cafeteria im starving :(

 **D.VA:** im too busy laughing to record this

 **MCCREE:** yallre just gonna have to satisfy yourselves with what i can tell ya

 **MCCREE:** oh my god

 **MCCREE:** gabriel looks a little flustered

 **MCCREE:** HANZO LOOKS A LITTLE FLUSTERED TOO

 **MCCREE:** gosh hes so cute

 **D.VA:** focus jesse

 **PHARAH:** Focus, Jesse.

 **PHARAH:** Your report will be helpful when you have to explain to Angela your injuries.

 **MERCY:** No need to explain, I’m keeping up with the chat.

 **MCCREE:** hanzos just putting the tray down on the table

 **PHARAH:** What’s Genji saying?

 **MCCREE:** uh hes kinda got his face on the pillow

 **MCCREE:** probly from gabriel plowing him into it

 **MCCREE:** but he hasnt emerged

 **MCCREE:** cant really blame him

 **MCCREE:** hes holding onto that thing for dear life

 **PHARAH:** He’s offline.

 **TRACER:** mustve shut off the process connecting him to the chat haha

 **MCCREE:** he does that when he gets really into it yknow

 **MCCREE:** hanzo scratchin his arm

 **MCCREE:** hes avoidin eye contact

 **MCCREE:** i uh

 **MCCREE:** i think we should maybe go

 **MCCREE:** hanzo

 **MCCREE:** @HANZO

 **MCCREE:** hun lets go

 **HANZO:** What.

 **MCCREE:** lets go

 **HANZO:** I was having a conversation.

 **D.VA:** omg

 **PHARAH:** Hanzo...

 **MCCREE:** now is not the time

 **MCCREE:** as much as id love to stare at gabriels dick some more

 **MCCREE:** i think were

 **MCCREE:** intruding a lil

 **HANZO:** Oh. Right.

 **HANZO:** You’re bleeding.

 **HANZO:** Sorry.

 **MCCREE:** its ok can we just get out before genji uh

 **MCCREE:** also does the dragons thing

 **HANZO:** Yes.

 **HANZO:** I’m sure Angela is on her way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ bonus: [Overwatch is gay TRANSLATION.png](http://imgur.com/Gx1cFNH.png)


	20. LOG 11: PART 2/3

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @HANZO & @REAPER --**

**REAPER:** today has been. eventful.

 **HANZO:** Oh it’s you.

 **REAPER:** yes.

 **HANZO:** What do you want.

 **REAPER:** to talk.

 **HANZO:** Ok.

 **REAPER:** so. im dating your brother.

 **HANZO:** I’ve noticed.

 **REAPER:** and sleeping with him.

 **HANZO:** I am well aware.

 **REAPER:** and.

 **HANZO:** Are you getting to a point anytime soon I have things to do.

 **REAPER:** sure.

 **REAPER:** i think i wanted to apologize. but i dont feel sorry at all. because. you walked in on us.

 **HANZO:** I am aware of this also.

 **REAPER:** oh?

 **HANZO:** It was not my intention I just wanted to deliver Genji what he’d asked for.

 **HANZO:** Also.

 **HANZO:** You used a question mark.

 **REAPER:** yeah. its not like i have them disabled. i can use question marks.

 **REAPER:** what is the deal with everyone and my question mark usage.

 **REAPER:** yours too. for that matter.

 **REAPER:** id think youd be the last person to care. seeing as you dont use them either.

 **HANZO:** Genji and Jesse pointing it out has made me notice it I suppose.

 **REAPER:** well who cares.

 **REAPER:** you still dont use them.

 **HANZO:** Neither do you.

 **REAPER:** not my problem. and not yours that they associate you with me.

 **HANZO:** Yes.

 **REAPER:** anyway.

 **REAPER:** are you dating jesse yet.

 **HANZO:** No.

 **REAPER:** really.

 **HANZO:** Really.

 **REAPER:** are you sure.

 **HANZO:** I am sure.

 **REAPER:** how.

 **HANZO:** He has not asked me out.

 **REAPER:** and you havent asked him out either.

 **HANZO:** It is not in my nature to initiate.

 **REAPER:** oh ok.

 **REAPER:** what i saw at the party would say otherwise.

 **HANZO:** That is different.

 **HANZO:** I was drunk.

 **REAPER:** ok. fair enough.

 **REAPER:** but if you like him. why dont you just ask him out.

 **REAPER:** you know how he feels about you. dont you.

 **HANZO:** Like I said it is not in my nature to initiate.

 **REAPER:** but do you like him.

 **HANZO:** Why do you ask.

 **HANZO:** This is none of your business I will not be asking you about your affair with Genji.

 **REAPER:** its not an affair. its a relationship. a successful one at that.

 **REAPER:** just answer the question.

 **HANZO:** I do not know.

 **HANZO:** Liking people.

 **HANZO:** Is.

 **HANZO:** Not familiar.

 **REAPER:** oh yeah. im sure genji can attest to that.

 **HANZO:** Fuck off.

 **REAPER:** ohoh. so the wolf has fangs.

 **HANZO:** What do you want Reyes.

 **REAPER:** spent the night with me.

 **HANZO:** What.

 **REAPER:** spend*

 **REAPER:** autocorrect.

 **HANZO:** No.

 **HANZO:** What.

 **HANZO:** Not that.

 **HANZO:** Ok.

 **HANZO:** I understood what you meant the first time you sent the message.

 **HANZO:** You’re dating Genji why are you hitting on me.

 **REAPER:** correction. im dating genji and jack.

 **HANZO:** Ok.

 **REAPER:** they arent going to be jealous or anything.

 **REAPER:** we can fuck other people. not that that happens often. there arent a lot of people around. and we have each other.

 **REAPER:** anyway.

 **REAPER:** thats not important. the point about hitting on you is that i am.

 **REAPER:** i didnt need to charm your brother.

 **HANZO:** That’s because he’s easy.

 **REAPER:** ok. i wont tell him you said that. because we all already know its true.

 **REAPER:** but i can charm you.

 **REAPER:** if youre into being romanced.

 **HANZO:** I’m not a videogame character.

 **HANZO:** But.

 **HANZO:** I was not expecting this.

 **HANZO:** That is all.

 **REAPER:** why not.

 **REAPER:** youre attractive. you must know that your coworkers find you attractive.

 **REAPER:** myself also. though im not a coworker.

 **REAPER:** its not a stretch to think that people would want to flirt with you.

 **REAPER:** i wouldnt be surprised if people have tried.

 **REAPER:** and just got disappointed in your lack of receptivity to their advances.

 **HANZO:** Perhaps.

 **REAPER:** well. you didnt even give jesse the time of day. according to the highly entertaining logs genji sent my way.

 **REAPER:** at first i thought you werent interested. but genji was sure to tell jack and i otherwise.

 **REAPER:** i thought. maybe you didnt notice. or you noticed him trying to talk to you. but not as flirting.

 **HANZO:** Again that’s none of your business.

 **HANZO:** Nor is it Genji’s for that matter.

 **REAPER:** por supuesto señor.  ****

**REAPER:** it

 **REAPER:** wait.

 **REAPER:** did you hear that.

 **HANZO:** Hear what.

 **REAPER:** sounded like an explosion.

 **HANZO:** I have my headphones on.

 **REAPER:** whatever. probably wasnt important anyway.

 **REAPER:** shit blows up at overwatch facilities all the damn time.

 **HANZO:** I’m sure you are very familiar with that.

 **REAPER:** hey fuck off.

 **REAPER:** im trying to hit on you. dont be like that.

 **HANZO:** Well you have been halfway entertaining.

 **REAPER:** so you wanna fuck later. or what.

 **HANZO:** Sure.

* * *

**\-- LAUGH AT JESSES HANGOVER CHAT --**

**\-- GENJI renamed group from LAUGH AT JESSES HANGOVER CHAT to BBQ HQ --**

**GENJI:** @EVERYONE

 **GENJI:** Who knows what happened with

 **GENJI:** That loud noise

 **TRACER:** err i was playin mario kart with reinhardt angela and fareeha

 **REINHARDT:** i was winning.

 **TRACER:** not by much  >:P

 **PHARAH:** I was second.

 **MERCY:** I suck at Mario Kart.

 **TRACER:** so what can you play?

 **MERCY:** Surgeon Simulator 2013.

 **TRACER:** really??

 **MERCY:** No, the controls are awful.

 **TRACER:** oh pfft

 **TRACER:** what do you expect from 2013 anyway?

 **MERCY:** I think they’re purposefully bad. It’s part of the joke.

 **GENJI:** So about the explosion

 **GENJI:** A little bird told me it was jamison having a bbq again

 **TRACER:** a... little bird?

 **GENJI:** Bastion i mean

 **TRACER:** for a second i thought you meant ganymede :)

 **GENJI:** Birds cant talk lena

 **GENJI:** Dont be ridiculous

 **TRACER:** >:/

 **REINHARDT:** why would jamison need to blow anything up to bbq?

 **D.VA:** crispier meat

 **REINHARDT:** that’s gross.

 **REINHARDT:** and it sounds like you’d just burn everything.

 **D.VA:** hey its his philosophy not mine

 **D.VA:** i dont think he has high food standards

 **PHARAH:** Living in the irradiated Australian wasteland would lower your eating standards, I’d think.

 **D.VA:** exactly

 **PHARAH:** Did he break anything?

 **GENJI:** I will take a look

 **PHARAH:** I’d join you, but I want to finish this round.

 **MERCY:** Let’s play a better game after this.

 **TRACER:** sure, i have mario party!

 **MERCY:** Why can’t you losers like FPS games like Hana?

 **PHARAH:** Hey, I like FPS games.

 **MERCY:** We’re not playing Call of Duty.

 **PHARAH:** You say that now.

 **REINHARDT:** cod is for losers

 **PHARAH:** You can’t judge, you like Smite and League!

 **REINHARDT:** oh look at the time

 **TRACER:** hey, get back here!

 **PHARAH:** No, let him go. I want to win.

 **REINHARDT:** i almost forgot i was winning. i cant leave now

 **PHARAH:** Damn it.

* * *

**\-- BEST OVERWATCH THREESOME CHAT --**

**REAPER:** so.

 **GENJI:** Gabe

 **GENJI:** How are you

 **REAPER:** good. and you.

 **GENJI:** I was going to check out the source of the explosion i heard

 **GENJI:** But now that youre here i dont really care

 **REAPER:** im in the weights room with jack.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** evening, genji.

 **GENJI:** Hello jack

 **REAPER:** sorry we didnt message sooner.

 **GENJI:** Its ok i love you both

 **REAPER:** i love you too.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** :heart:

 **GENJI:** What were you saying

 **REAPER:** remember the bet.

 **GENJI:** The bet that i won after hanzo and jesse fucked during the party

 **GENJI:** Yes i remember

 **REAPER:** you said if we lost. which i readily admit we did. id have to flirt with your brother.

 **GENJI:** Haha yes

 **GENJI:** Did you do it

 **REAPER:** si querido.  ****

**GENJI:** Ok send me the clip jack

 **SOLDIER: 76:** [[gabe flirting.avi]]

 **GENJI:** Thank you

 **GENJI:** Oh this is wonderful

 **GENJI:** Youre so cute

 **GENJI:** I am saving this forever

 **GENJI:** Send me the log i want to read it

 **REAPER:** [[cantbelievewelostthisbet.txt]]

 **GENJI:** 笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑

 **GENJI:** Thats adorable

 **GENJI:** Wait youre fucking my brother

 **REAPER:** yes.

 **GENJI:** Oh my god

 **REAPER:** im not exactly the first.

 **GENJI:** Well i know but still

 **GENJI:** Oh my god

 **REAPER:** what.

 **GENJI:** Im so proud of you

 **REAPER:** why.

 **GENJI:** Youre getting laid

 **REAPER:** genji. we have sex like. every goddamn night.

 **GENJI:** Yeah but still

 **REAPER:** youre too much.

 **GENJI:** You love me

 **REAPER:** i do.


	21. LOG 11: PART 3/3

**\-- BBQ HQ --**

**REINHARDT:** NOOOOOOOOOOO

**PHARAH:** YES!!!!!!!

**TRACER:** what a game!!

**REINHARDT:** BLUE SHELLED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**MERCY:** ;)

**MERCY:** Let’s take a break now, I’m hungry.

**TRACER:** maybe we should play something that doesnt destroy friendships :P

**REINHARDT:** maybe we should play something good

**TRACER:** hey you were all for mario kart til you lost!!

**PHARAH:** Don’t blame him for his salt.

**PHARAH:** But thank you, Angela, for that fantastic blue shell.

**MERCY:** No problem.

**MERCY:** Who’s up for some 4-player zombie survival co-op?

**TRACER:** its a good thing hana isnt here shed be so angry

**PHARAH:** I’m in, but only if I get the grenade launcher.

* * *

 

**\-- BEST OVERWATCH THREESOME --**

**REAPER:** @GENJI: i cant believe i let your brother top me.

**GENJI:** You what

**REAPER:** i.

**GENJI:** Wow you dont even let me top you

**REAPER:** yes i do.

**REAPER:** sometimes.

**GENJI:** Whatever i prefer being on the bottom most of the time anyway

**REAPER:** im aware.

**GENJI:** Im impressed

**GENJI:** For some reason

**REAPER:** it just ended up that way.

**REAPER:** neither of us. well. were not familiar with each other so.

**REAPER:** it happened.

**REAPER:** and i let him.

**REAPER:** it was fun.

**GENJI:** Congratulations then

**GENJI:** As long as you had fun i dont think it matters what position you were in

**REAPER:** is it normal.

**REAPER:** i need to know all of a sudden.

**REAPER:** im not used to being. sub.

**REAPER:** what is your brother.

**GENJI:** You expect me to know whether he is a sub or a dom gabe

**REAPER:** yes.

**GENJI:** Gabe please

**REAPER:** oh cmon.

**REAPER:** i bet you know.

**REAPER:** do you.

**GENJI:** No

**REAPER:** really.

**GENJI:** Sigh

**GENJI:** Hes a switch

**REAPER:** well fuck.

* * *

**\-- BBQ HQ --**

**JUNKRAT:** ANYBODY WANT SOME BARBEQUE 

**TRACER:** sure!

**PHARAH:** I’ll pass.

**REINHARDT:** no thank you

**REINHARDT:** im trying to crouch jump

**MERCY:** It’s two in the morning, why are you cooking?

**JUNKRAT:** DUNNO GOT HUNGRY GOT BORED

**JUNKRAT:** WHYRE ALL OF YOU IN THE COMMON ROOM PLAYING VIDEO GAMES

**MERCY:** Touché.

**GENJI:** Was that an accented e

**MERCY:** Gérard would be proud.

**GENJI:** Yes he would

**GENJI:** But did you perhaps mean

**GENJI:** Gèrard

**TRACER:** pffft

**MERCY:** I bet he’s rolling in his grave right now.

**GENJI:** 笑笑笑笑

**GENJI:** Yeah

* * *

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @HANZO & @REAPER --**

**REAPER:** thanks for the night. it was fun.

**REAPER:** not surprised you dont stick around.

**HANZO:** Sorry to leave while you were sleeping.

**REAPER:** dont be.

**HANZO:** I.

**HANZO:** Had fun.

**REAPER:** yeah.

**REAPER:** so.

**REAPER:** i have questions. you dont have to answer of course. just. questions.

**REAPER:** about you and jesse. because you slept with him.

**HANZO:** Yes the one time.

**HANZO:** You get one question.

**REAPER:** ok.

**REAPER:** who topped. i mean. if there was any top/bottom or. dom/sub going on.

**HANZO:** There was.

**HANZO:** But.

**HANZO:** That’s your question.

**REAPER:** yep.

**HANZO:** Out of everything you could’ve asked that is the question you chose.

**REAPER:** yep.

**HANZO:** Have you not been with Jesse.

**REAPER:** oh i have.

**REAPER:** but it was always with genji. and sometimes blackwatch.

**REAPER:** im curious how it went with just the two of you.

**HANZO:** Seriously.

**REAPER:** yep.

**HANZO:** Ok.

**HANZO:** I did.

**REAPER:** holy fuck.

**HANZO:** Why are you surprised we had sex two hours ago and I was on top.

**REAPER:** hey.

**REAPER:** i dont know. for some reason i thought itd be the other way around.

**REAPER:** even though jesses.

**REAPER:** jesse.

**HANZO:** Whatever.

**REAPER:** we should do this again sometime.

**REAPER:** im sure genji would find it entertaining.

**HANZO:** Ok.

**HANZO:** Maybe.

**REAPER:** no pressure.

**HANZO:** Not now though.

**REAPER:** i mean. i wasnt expecting us to go again for the night. its already been two hours.

**REAPER:** wed have to pick it up again. itd be a hassle.

**HANZO:** Well that too.

**REAPER:** is something else happening.

**HANZO:** No.

**HANZO:** Maybe.

**HANZO:** I suppose it could be.

**REAPER:** just spit it out.

**REAPER:** we dont have to fuck. its for fun if you ever feel like it.

**REAPER:** im letting you know its an option.

**HANZO:** I’ll keep it in mind.

**REAPER:** so whats the matter.

**HANZO:** I’m going to ask Jesse out.

* * *

 

**\-- BBQ HQ --**

**REINHARDT:** LEAVE MY DINOSAUR ALONE YOU BULLY

**PHARAH:** Hey, I’m just playing the game.

**REINHARDT:** you are EVIL

**MERCY:** Why are we playing ARK? This game is bad.

**TRACER:** we all own it :P

**MERCY:** Oh, right.

**MERCY:** That makes sense.

**PHARAH:** LET’S SEE HOW YOU LIKE THAT.

**REINHARDT:** IM JUST TRYING TO FARM

**PHARAH:** Consider it payback for making us look at your awful billboard.

**REINHARDT:** WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST DARK SOULS

**REINHARDT:** HANA BEAT IT A WHILE AGO EASY

**PHARAH:** I am not a professional gamer, Reinhardt.

**PHARAH:** Let’s not go into my hatred for Dark Souls.

**REINHARDT:** youll learn to love it one day i swear

**MERCY:** Play it with me. :)

**PHARAH:** ...

**PHARAH:** Ok, fine.

**JUNKRAT:** STILL GOT SOME BURGERS LEFT

**MERCY:** If you have leftovers, leave them in the fridge.

**JUNKRAT:** OK

**D.VA:** who the fuck is dissing dark souls

**REINHARDT:** fareeha

**PHARAH:** You can’t expect everyone to like the same games as you.

**D.VA:** did you beat it?

**PHARAH:** I’m not answering that question.

**D.VA:** hey no shame in not beating a video game

**D.VA:** you cant win em all

**PHARAH:** Really, now?

**PHARAH:** What’ve you had trouble with?

**D.VA:** oh no no

**D.VA:** you misunderstand

**D.VA:** i am the ultimate gamer

**D.VA:** i beat every game i play

**D.VA:** but not everyone plays video games for a living!

**TRACER:** and thats ok :P

**PHARAH:** Yes, I suppose so.

**MERCY:** You did well tonight, Fareeha.

**PHARAH:** :)

**D.VA:** gay

**GENJI:** Did somebody call

**D.VA:** i

**D.VA:** hey genji

**GENJI:** Im just joking i see everything that happens in the chat when i have it on

**GENJI:** Stop complaining about video games

**PHARAH:** Don’t worry, I will.

**GENJI:** Why is everyone still awake

**GENJI:** It is very late

**GENJI:** Some of you have work tomorrow

**MERCY:** We got caught up in ARK.

**GENJI:** Haha wow that game is terrible why are you playing it

**TRACER:** because we all own it

**TRACER:** for... some reason

**TRACER:** join us next game night and maybe you can help us pick something better :P

**GENJI:** I will consider it

**MERCY:** You can’t invite Genji to just any evening function, Lena.

**MERCY:** He has things to do.

**GENJI:** Just say it angela they are all thinking it

**MERCY:** Ok, fine.

**MERCY:** By ‘things’ I mean Jack and Gabriel.

**MERCY:** Happy?

**GENJI:** Yes i love my boyfriends

**GENJI:** Well

**GENJI:** I love my boyfriend

**GENJI:** Jack too

**GENJI:** Were not really dating though

**TRACER:** but what games would you rather play love?

**GENJI:** Hm

**GENJI:** How about

**MERCY:** No.

**GENJI:** I have not even made my suggestion yet

**MERCY:** Genji. No.

**GENJI:** Why are you being such a hanzo

**MERCY:** Because I know what game you have in mind and we’re not playing it.

**GENJI:** What do you have against monopoly online: premium edition

**MERCY:** Everything.

**MERCY:** Every goddamn thing.

**GENJI:** Fine

**GENJI:** Lets just play wow like we used to

**MERCY:** We can’t, remember?

**REINHARDT:** jack banned it.

**GENJI:** Oh yeah

**REINHARDT:** we wasted so much time and money on that game.

**GENJI:** Theres nothing to play

**REINHARDT:** didnt you have the largest steam library in overwatch at one point?

**GENJI:** Yeah but gabe beat me in 2069 i will never forget that

**GENJI:** I got lazy even though i had more money to burn

**GENJI:** I let him have the victory it was a complicated mess involving seven bets and jesses entire hat collection i did not want to jeopardize it

**GENJI:** But hana probably has a bigger library than both of us

**GENJI:** For obvious reasons

**D.VA:** i have every game on steam

**GENJI:** I think i bumped myself back into 90%~ but i got lazy again last sale

**GENJI:** Gabe has not bothered in a while

**TRACER:** well we can think of games NEXT game night!!

**TRACER:** its getting late now after all :P

**GENJI:** That is correct

**MERCY:** Yes, I recommend that we head to bed.

**MERCY:** Especially those of us who need to be up tomorrow.

**REINHARDT:** i will be fine on 5 hours of sleep

**D.VA:** you shouldve gone to bed hours ago gramps!!

**REINHARDT:** sometimes you have to live, hana

**REINHARDT:** sometimes, you have to live.

**PHARAH:** Which is why we will be tired tomorrow.

**TRACER:** sleep well loves!!

**MCCREE:** DID SOMEBODY SAY GAY

**D.VA:** jesse...

**MCCREE:** BECAUSE

**MCCREE:** IM GAY

**MCCREE:** HOWDY YALL

**MCCREE:** I AM REALLY GAY

**MCCREE:** I AM REALLY REALLY GAY

**GENJI:** Let me guess

**MCCREE:** YES

**GENJI:** I want all of you to know i hate you all for not letting me finish my sentences

**REAPER:** hes excited genji. let him have his moment.

**MCCREE:** I AM EXCITED

**GENJI:** Oh hey gabe i love you

**REAPER:** i love you too.

**MCCREE:** AND I LOVE

**MCCREE:** MY BOYFRIEND!!!!

**GENJI:** See i was going to say

**GENJI:** Let me guess hanzo asked you out

**GENJI:** And you had to ruin it

**REAPER:** youll have your moment to make the reveal one day.

**MCCREE:** GUESS WHAT HAPPENED

**GENJI:** I just did

**TRACER:** he just did love :P

**MCCREE:** OH

**MCCREE:** OH!! YOU SURE DID

**MCCREE:** YEAH HANZO ASKED ME OUT

**GENJI:** And

**GENJI:** Let me guess

**GENJI:** You said yes

**MCCREE:** YOURE DARN TOOTIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**MERCY:** I’m proud of you, Jesse.

**PHARAH:** I wish you two the best.

**MCCREE:** IM GAY AND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

**REAPER:** where is he anyway.

**GENJI:** I doubt hes asleep

**GENJI:** Hes not on tomorrows roster

**REAPER:** @HANZO

**HANZO:** What.

**GENJI:** Congratulations on the boyfriend

**HANZO:** Oh.

**HANZO:** Did he tell you.

**GENJI:** Scroll up anija

**HANZO:** I am trying but Jesse has yet to relinquish my dominant hand.

**GENJI:** Aww

**MERCY:** He definitely gets that from Gabriel.

**GENJI:** Yes gabe loves holding hands

**REAPER:** true.

**MCCREE:** hey darlin 

**HANZO:** Hello.

**GENJI:** This is friendlier than i was expecting

**TRACER:** yeah tone it down a lil why dontcha ;P

**D.VA:** not gay enough

**D.VA:** ill be impressed when im impressed

**MERCY:** You can say that because you weren’t in this chat when Gabriel started dating Jack and then Genji.

**D.VA:** was it gay

**MERCY:** To put it lightly: yes.

**MCCREE:** thingsre still pretty gay now angie

**MERCY:** True.

**HANZO:** Anyway when do we get our cake.

**MERCY:** Your cake?

**GENJI:** I think he means the ‘congrats on the sex’ cake

**MERCY:** We had to stop that tradition because you kept sleeping with people then you’d use the cake leftovers for skeet shooting but with shuriken.

**GENJI:** Hahaha that was fun

**GENJI:** Ill bake a cake for you two dont worry

**HANZO:** You can bake.

**GENJI:** Yes

**GENJI:** Ana taught me

**GENJI:** She tried teaching the others but jesse and fareeha cant bake

**MCCREE:** hey that aint my fault

**PHARAH:** My mother called my stirring too aggressive.

**GENJI:** Well now in her absence i will have to search for her old recipes

**GENJI:** She wrote down quite a few

**GENJI:** I never understood why she didnt let us take pictures

**MCCREE:** superstition

**MCCREE:** long story

**REAPER:** very long story.

**MERCY:** Why is everyone still awake?

**D.VA:** gamers never sleep

**MERCY:** Go to bed, Hana.

**D.VA:** fine but only cause im tired

**REAPER:** do we have to sing the song.

**MERCY:** What... song?

**REAPER:** the gay one.

**REAPER:** you know the one.

**MERCY:** No, Gabriel.

**REAPER:** ok.

**REAPER:** just checking.

**MCCREE:** were all gay here

**MCCREE:** overwatch is gay

**MERCY:** It is gay, and you should go to bed.

**MCCREE:** nah

**GENJI:** That is very accurate

**GENJI:** Both of those things

**GENJI:** How many cakes would we need between the four of us boyfriends anyway

**REAPER:** in general. or just for tonight.

**GENJI:** The latter

**REAPER:** three. if jesse and hanzo already did.

**MCCREE:** three??

**GENJI:** Gabe fucked me

**GENJI:** Hanzo fucked him and you

**MCCREE:** holy shit gabriel let hanzo top

**REAPER:** were not discussing this.

**MCCREE:** fine fine

**MCCREE:** did all of that happen tonight

**HANZO:** Is that a problem.

**MCCREE:** hell no everyones had sex with at least one blackwatch member

**REAPER:** usually genji.

**MCCREE:** usually genji

**MCCREE:** who wasnt technically a part of blackwatch

**REAPER:** they knew who he belonged to.

**MCCREE:** in the bedroom sense or what gabriel

**REAPER:** beyond the bedroom sense.

**GENJI:** Almost all of my missions were with blackwatch

**GENJI:** I was essentially a member of blackwatch

**MCCREE:** atta boy

**HANZO:** And sleeping around was a part of it.

**MCCREE:** yep

**GENJI:** Yes

**REAPER:** definitely.

**HANZO:** I see.

**MCCREE:** course it werent for everyone

**MCCREE:** anyway whos up for a rootin tootin

**HANZO:** It’s three in the morning Jesse.

**MCCREE:** babe anytime is a good time for a rootin tootin

**HANZO:** Don’t you have to be on the field tomorrow.

**GENJI:** According to the roster yes

**GENJI:** So now is maybe not the best time for a rootin tootin

**MCCREE:** shit

**MERCY:** I warned you.


	22. LOG 12: PART 1/1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as promised
> 
> hover over foreign text for translations //

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @HANZO & @MERCY --**

**MERCY:** So how did you do it?

**HANZO:** Do what.

**MERCY:** Start dating Jesse. Did he ask you out last night? How did it happen?

**HANZO:** I asked him out.

**HANZO:** After sleeping with Gabriel.

**MERCY:** You... slept with Gabriel. Then went to ask Jesse out.

**HANZO:** Yes.

**MERCY:** I...

**MERCY:** Okay then.

**HANZO:** Is something the matter.

**MERCY:** No, that’s just unexpected.

**MERCY:** You don’t seem like the type to do either of those things.

**HANZO:** It’s not as if Jesse minds.

**MERCY:** Of course he doesn’t mind.

**MERCY:** In a way, it’d be stranger to him if you hadn’t slept with  _ any _ Blackwatch member.

**MERCY:** Augh, that’s not my point!

**HANZO:** Then what is.

**MERCY:** I want to ask Fareeha out.

**HANZO:** Then do it.

**MERCY:** You don’t understand. I can hardly speak to her.

**HANZO:** I understand.

**MERCY:** Every time I try, I... I get nervous. 

**MERCY:** It’s silly, I know. But she’s so attractive.

**HANZO:** Then ask her out over direct message.

**MERCY:** I’m still so  _ nervous _ though.

**HANZO:** Doesn’t she like you.

**MERCY:** I mean, I think so. It’s a definite possibility.

**HANZO:** I am certain she likes you.

**MERCY:** And how can you be so sure?

**HANZO:** She looks at you.

**HANZO:** You know.

**HANZO:** In a gay way.

**MERCY:** And you’ve noticed that?

**HANZO:** Angela.

**HANZO:** Everyone has noticed.

**MERCY:** But... what if she’s just being friendly?

**MERCY:** She’s really nice.

**MERCY:** Mein gott.  ****

**MERCY:** What if she’s  _ straight??? _

**HANZO:** Do not be so drastic.

**MERCY:** Okay, you’re right. That was a little too far.

**MERCY:** Nerves.

**MERCY:** It’s been a long while since I’ve dated anyone, that’s all.

**MERCY:** Besides, nobody in Overwatch is straight.

**HANZO:** Exactly.

**MERCY:** We could make quite the colorful spreadsheet.

**MERCY:** Myself being bi with a female preference, Genji being pan, you being...

**MERCY:** Um...

**HANZO:** Bi.

**MERCY:** Yes, exactly!

**MERCY:** Wow, Overwatch is really gay.

**HANZO:** Are you going to ask Fareeha out or are you going to keep sitting there.

**MERCY:** Scheiße.  ****

**MERCY:** Fine, I’m going, I’m going...

**HANZO:** Good luck.

**MERCY:** Thank you, Hanzo.

**MERCY:** This was an oddly helpful pep talk.

**MERCY:** Oh, by the way, Genji summoned you.

**HANZO:** What.

**HANZO:** Ok.

**MERCY:** See you later!

**HANZO:** Bye.

* * *

**\-- BBQ HQ --**

**JUNKRAT:** SO HOW BOUT TODAYS FIGHT

**LÚCIO:** it went well for us. :)

**JUNKRAT:** THAT IT DID MATE

**PHARAH:** You only won because I was frozen at the end.

**MEI:** ;)

**PHARAH:** I had my ult ready and everything...

**ZENYATTA:** Perhaps it will go better next time.

**JUNKRAT:** WHO CARES WHAT MATTERS IS THAT WE WON HECK YEAH

**LÚCIO:** heck yeah!

**MCCREE:** i almost fell asleep in round 2

**REINHARDT:** same.

**PHARAH:** That’s what you both get for staying up so late.

**JUNKRAT:** ANYWAY LETS HAVE SOME CELEBRATORY BBQ WHOS IN

**LÚCIO:** sure, i haven’t had lunch yet.

**ZENYATTA:** I am unable to consume food, but I will attend.

**PHARAH:** Maybe later, I have to meet up with Angela soon.

**LÚCIO:** what for?

**MCCREE:** gay

**PHARAH:** She didn’t tell me, but it might have to do with the flight mechanics we’ve been working on.

**MCCREE:** gay

**D.VA:** gay

**GENJI:** Gay

**JUNKRAT:** GAY

**MEI:** Gay!

**LÚCIO:** gaaaaaaaayy. ♪

**PHARAH:** OK MAYBE IT’S A DATE I DON’T KNOW.

**PHARAH:** It’s none of your business, anyway.

**HANZO:** It will be soon.

**GENJI:** The group chat learns everything

**LÚCIO:** _everything._

**D.VA:** yeah you cant trust us with this shit

**LÚCIO:** good luck on your date, though!

**GENJI:** Yes we support you

**MERCY:** Why don’t we focus on Hanzo and McCree instead?

**HANZO:** That was already done last night.

**MERCY:** A lot was done last night, Hanzo.

**MERCY:** By the way, did you visit Genji?

**HANZO:** Yes.

**GENJI:** Dont worry angela he took care of the situation

**GENJI:** Normally id ask gabe but he and jack are out grocery shopping

**D.VA:** 못쓰게 만들다  ****

**D.VA:** i better text him what snacks i want

**LÚCIO:** yeah, we need better cereal.

**LÚCIO:** what was the situation?

**D.VA:** someone need killing?

**GENJI:** Um

**HANZO:** Spider.

**GENJI:** Yes

**GENJI:** That

**MEI:** You didn’t kill it, did you? :(

**GENJI:** Oh

**GENJI:** Of course not

**GENJI:** I can do that myself

**GENJI:** Hanzo

**GENJI:** Moved it outside

**D.VA:** and you cant do that yourself

**GENJI:** Hey

**GENJI:** Hanzo and gabe arent scared of touching spiders

**D.VA:** but you are??

**D.VA:** youre a CYBORG

**GENJI:** Do not judge me

**MERCY:** You two were in there for an hour.

**GENJI:** It was a very big spider

**GENJI:** Very

**GENJI:** Big

**GENJI:** Spider

**MERCY:** An HOUR.

**GENJI:** You have no idea how big that spider was

**HANZO:** Angela.

**MERCY:** Just... get some bug repellant.

**GENJI:** Arent you supposed to be on your date with fareeha now

**MERCY:** I’m on my way!

**GENJI:** Dont text and walk thats not safe

**MERCY:** I can multitask fine.

**GENJI:** You are only human

**GENJI:** And im a cool cyborg ninja dude who can multitask better

**D.VA:** for some reason i feel like hanzo picked the spider up and got it outside in seconds

**HANZO:** I.

**LÚCIO:** then spent the rest of the hour consoling genji crying in the corner. :)

**GENJI:** Wow

**D.VA:** hanzos not that nice

**TRACER:** aw cmon love dont say that ;P

**D.VA:** he killed his brother

**GENJI:** Yes i was brutally murdered

**HANZO:** Get over it.

**GENJI:** Anija  ****

**HANZO:** It was a joke.

**GENJI:** I know i laughed

**TRACER:** see? plenty nice!

**D.VA:** murder joke

**D.VA:** yep thats what id call nice

**HANZO:** Are you still mad about last week’s potg.

**D.VA: MAYBE**

**HANZO:** I see.

**MCCREE:** it was a good one sweet pea

**HANZO:** Indeed.

**MCCREE:** i love my boyfriend

**D.VA:** gay pops

**LÚCIO:** gay!

**TRACER:** super gay!!

**MEI:** Gay. :)

**GENJI:** Fucking gay

**HANZO:** Aren’t we all.

**MCCREE:** yeah

**GENJI:** Yes

**MEI:** Yes.

**ZARYA:** да.  ****

**D.VA:** hell yes

**LÚCIO:** yup.

**JUNKRAT:** YEAH

**TRACER:** definitely!!

**MERCY:** Hey, everybody.

**HANZO:** Hello.

**GENJI:** こn  ****

**LÚCIO:** how’re you? :)

**D.VA:** howd it go mom

**TRACER:** gayly? :P

**ZENYATTA:** Ideally, well.

**MERCY:** I want you all to know.

**HANZO:** Know.

**GENJI:** Know what angela

**D.VA:** spill the beans already

**LÚCIO:** yeah, c’mon!

**LÚCIO:** don’t leave us with a cliffhanger sentence.

**MERCY:** I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND, FAREEHA AMARI.

**JUNKRAT:** HOORAY

**LÚCIO:** wooo!

**MEI:** Aww. Congratulations, you two!

**HANZO:** Finally.

**GENJI:** Good job angela

**PHARAH:** I love my girlfriend Dr. Angela Ziegler.

**TRACER:** :)

**MEI:** :heart:

**MERCY:** Just call me “Angie”. :)

**GENJI:** We made it everybody

**LÚCIO:** gay singularity!

**D.VA:** yessss

**MEI:** I’m so proud.

**MCCREE:** i love hanzo

**TRACER:** gay!

**LÚCIO:** super gay.

**D.VA:** GAYYYYY

**GENJI:** Ok were not doing that again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ hanzo and mercy are friends and. pardon my homestuck but. they're like. moirails, maybe. mercy gets him to be less bitter and hanzo gets her to chill in her rare moments of unchill
> 
> [some](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/150423379861/bevsi-stay-with-me-tonight-ill-kiss-your-head) [pharmercy](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/149851545416/quibbs-guys-not-during-combat) [art!](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/149763065791) ([bonus shitpost](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/149621854268/earthbooty-dorkblog-fumeknight-when-you))


	23. LOG 13: PART 1/3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to say this log is like. the beginning of story plot stuff happening. but i dont think i can call this a story really everything just kinda happens... and in chronological order... but its a mess //

**\-- BEST OVERWATCH THREESOME --**

**REAPER:** amelie is still bothering me about hanging out with overwatch.

**GENJI:** Well you work for talon

**REAPER:** they dont need to know shit.

**GENJI:** I feel like they already know youre here

**SOLDIER: 76:** yeah, they can’t possibly be that incompetent.

**SOLDIER: 76:** you’re here all the time.

**REAPER:** oh youd think that wouldnt you.

**REAPER:** but you werent there for the gibraltar raid.

**REAPER:** a group of talon operatives unable to take out one hyperintelligent armored monkey.

**REAPER:** seriously.

**GENJI:** Gabe please

**GENJI:** Im sure they tried their best

**REAPER:** it was unimpressive.

**SOLDIER: 76:** for your high standards, maybe.

**SOLDIER: 76:** and winston’s a decent fighter anyway.

**GENJI:** Yes i do not like being on the receiving end of his tesla cannon

**REAPER:** hes not scary.

**GENJI:** Youre his counter

**GENJI:** Go sit down

**REAPER:** im just teasing.

**GENJI:** I know

**REAPER:** i love you.

**GENJI:** I love you too

**SOLDIER: 76:** both of you are extremely gay.

**SOLDIER: 76:** and that’s coming from me.

**REAPER:** i have to remind him.

**SOLDIER: 76:** i know, it’s pretty damn sweet.

**GENJI:** And gay

**SOLDIER: 76:** and gay.

**REAPER:** we can die anytime.

**SOLDIER: 76:** you just had to make it grim, didn’t you?

**REAPER:** its the truth.

**GENJI:** Try not to die gabe

**REAPER:** ill keep that in mind.

**GENJI:** Anyway why amelie

**GENJI:** What about the rest of talon

**REAPER:** the rest of talon leaves me alone.

**REAPER:** im working with them at the moment. but i dont technically work with them.

**REAPER:** im a freelancer. a mercenary. up for hire so to speak but. a lone wolf in the end.

**GENJI:** Ok hanzo ‘lone wolf’ shimada

**REAPER:** funny.

**SOLDIER: 76:** you say that with a period at the end to sound dismissive, but i can hear you laughing from the next room.

**REAPER:** shut up.

**GENJI:** Im sorry for ruining your image with my sick burn

**GENJI:** :fire::fire::fire::fire:

**REAPER:** dont be.

**SOLDIER: 76:** what’ve you told amelie?

**SOLDIER: 76:** it’s not like any overwatch-related secrets are being exchanged here anyway. we’re far from a wealth of exploitable knowledge.

**REAPER:** exactly.

**REAPER:** everyone uses the chat client as a chat client.

**GENJI:** Just call it discord

**REAPER:** its not discord.

**SOLDIER: 76:** but it was modelled after discord.

**GENJI:** Its basically discord

**REAPER:** i told her that everyone uses the chat client as a chat client.

**REAPER:** then i told her to fuck off. shes too nosy for her own good.

**GENJI:** I doubt that made her happy

**REAPER:** it didnt. but then again. nothing does.

**SOLDIER: 76:** oh, right. her lack of feelings.

**REAPER:** yeah.

**REAPER:** she seemed plenty amused. if anything.

**REAPER:** i dont know why she keeps asking me about it.

**SOLDIER: 76:** maybe you should find out why.

**REAPER:** its not as if she has reason to tell me. were not close friends.

**GENJI:** You should befriend her

**REAPER:** how are you supposed to befriend a person with no feelings.

**GENJI:** Are you sure she has no feelings

**REAPER:** whatever sits in the dregs of the desolate wasteland that is her empty carcass of a soul. i havent seen it.

**SOLDIER: 76:** she’s the kind of woman where every question and action has a motive.

**SOLDIER: 76:** if you find out what she wants, then...

**REAPER:** i have ideas.

**REAPER:** genji.

**GENJI:** Yes dear

**REAPER:** do you remember when you went to hanamura. and fought your brother. etc. 

**GENJI:** I do

**GENJI:** That was around the end of spring in japan

**GENJI:** There was a very nice koi kite flying

**GENJI:** It was my birthday

**GENJI:** Its only been a few months of course i remember

**REAPER:** the same night winston sent the recall.

**GENJI:** Correct

**REAPER:** the same night i was at watchpoint: gibraltar.

**GENJI:** Yes that would be that night

**REAPER:** has tracer told any of you about her encounter with amelie.

**GENJI:** She was talking to myself and zenyatta about it once

**GENJI:** The event had upset her greatly

**SOLDIER: 76:** watching people get shot is pretty upsetting.

**REAPER:** amelie would not shut up about her after it happened.

**REAPER:** she was constantly complaining about how she missed lena.

**GENJI:** Missed her

**GENJI:** Or

**GENJI:** _Missed_ her

**REAPER:** exactly what im wondering.

**SOLDIER: 76:** just go with the gay option, reyes. it’s the one on all of our minds.

**REAPER:** time to have a chat with lena.

**GENJI:** Good luck

* * *

 

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @REAPER & @TRACER --**

**REAPER:** hello.

**TRACER:** hey!

**TRACER:** oh its you :/

**TRACER:** what do you want?

**REAPER:** just here to ask some questions.

**TRACER:** make it quick then!

**REAPER:** yeah yeah.

**REAPER:** what do you know about widowmaker.

**TRACER:** amélie???

**REAPER:** lacroix.

**TRACER:** right...

**TRACER:** shes with talon now

**TRACER:** shouldnt you know that??

**TRACER:** shes your best sniper or something

**TRACER:** shes purple and she has a ponytail and infrasight

**TRACER:** she kills people for money

**TRACER:** she killed her own husband

**TRACER:** so... i only know what everyone else does

**TRACER:** why do you ask?

**REAPER:** lena. what does she know about you.

**TRACER:** about me?!

**TRACER:** not a damn thing id hope!!

**TRACER:** ive been

**TRACER:** she

**TRACER:** its been a long time since weve

**TRACER:** what happened in kings row back in may doesnt..

**TRACER:** its none of your damn business!!

**TRACER:** its not the same anymore

**TRACER:** shes

**TRACER:** shes not the same anymore.

**REAPER:** does she know who you are.

**TRACER:** i dont know

**TRACER:** i dont know how much she remembers from

**TRACER:** all those years ago

**TRACER:** it doesnt matter anyway

**TRACER:** things wont be like they used to be

**TRACER:** we’ll never

**TRACER:** ...

**TRACER:** what do you want, reyes?

**REAPER:** nothing.

**REAPER:** i told you i had questions.

**REAPER:** i ask because amelies been. nosy. lately.

**TRACER:** oh so

**TRACER:** you talk to her

**REAPER:** were coworkers. sort of.

**TRACER:** i havent seen her in a while

**REAPER:** she has work.

**TRACER:** yeah i... i know

**TRACER:** i know

**REAPER:** why are you involving yourself with her.

**TRACER:** thats none of your business!!

**TRACER:** we dont talk regularly anyway

**TRACER:** i hardly see her

**TRACER:** it doesnt

**TRACER:** why do you care :/

**REAPER:** i dont.

**REAPER:** and i know its not my business.

**REAPER:** but you are playing with fire here.

**REAPER:** shes still a talon operative. and youre an agent of overwatch. 

**TRACER:** this coming from the talon member dating jack and genji of overwatch??

**REAPER:** im not like amelie. im not tied to talon. im just working with them.

**REAPER:** its a temporary thing.

**REAPER:** but amelie is part of talon. even when im not anymore. shell still be with them.

**TRACER:** thats just great

**TRACER:** fantastic really

**REAPER:** i have several reasons that lead me to believe. she wants to talk to you.

**REAPER:** either that. or shes a slimier person than i thought.

**TRACER:** dont call her slimy :/

**REAPER:** whatever. shes my coworker. i have insult privileges.

**TRACER:** and why would she care about talking to me??

**TRACER:** if she wanted to talk to me shed return my texts :/

**REAPER:** talon would likely be monitoring her outgoing and incoming communications you know.

**REAPER:** not necessarily. it depends on their trust in her. but id say its likely.

**REAPER:** they cant see what i put in this client though. winston and liao did their jobs well.

**REAPER:** if they are monitoring amelie or if she suspects they are. she wouldnt give them more to analyze.

**TRACER:** shoot i never thought of it that way...

**TRACER:** yeah that... does explain a lot actually

**REAPER:** then take my warning to heart.

**REAPER:** and dont make the same mistakes i did in my twenties.

**TRACER:** pfft

**TRACER:** dont worry about me gabriel

**REAPER:** im not worried.

**TRACER:** well i dunno i guess that clears things up

**TRACER:** like why she asked to meet up

**TRACER:** its hard to say yes though

**TRACER:** cause she has to be so cryptic with her messages... i thought she was trying to frustrate me on purpose

**TRACER:** its hard!!

**TRACER:** knowing you could be walking into a trap at any moment...

**REAPER:** think about this. genji would sneak into a talon base just to see me. jack shows his care in different ways but. you get the point.

**TRACER:** we cant all be genji

**TRACER:** and we cant all have relationships as perfect and trusting as yours ;P

**REAPER:** no relationship is perfect.

**REAPER:** but sometimes. somebody has to take the first leap.

**TRACER:** yeah yeah

**TRACER:** bye now

**REAPER:** bye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ [some tracer art!](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/149584741191/beroberos-tracer-kissin-more-heroes-or-almost) [some reaper art!](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/150190492576/steelsuit-bouquet)


	24. LOG 13: PART 2/3

**\-- BBQ HQ --**

**GENJI:** Hello everyone

**JUNKRAT:** MORNING

**GENJI:** It is two in the afternoon

**JUNKRAT:** WHATEVER

**D.VA:** close enough

**LÚCIO:** it’s morning in some places. :)

**JUNKRAT:** EXACTLY

**GENJI:** Anyway

**TRACER:** whats up love?

**GENJI:** Who wants to see talon hq

**D.VA:** why... do you have pictures of talon hq

**GENJI:** Why dont you

**D.VA:** wh

**D.VA:** because i dont have reason to visit it??

**D.VA:** were you on a raid?

**GENJI:** No

**GENJI:** I was returning something to gabriel

**JUNKRAT:** SOUNDS DANGEROUS

**JUNKRAT:** SOUNDS FUN

**LÚCIO:** what were you returning that couldn’t wait?

**GENJI:** You know the red canisters on his chest and belt

**MCCREE:** his shotgun shells you mean

**GENJI:** Those are not shotgun shells

**MCCREE:** then whatre they for

**TRACER:** decoration????

**D.VA:** hahaha decoration

**GENJI:** Lube

**D.VA:** oh

**MCCREE:** makes sense

**TRACER:** uhh anyway

**TRACER:** you cant just DROP INTO talon hq...

**TRACER:** they have... security

**TRACER:** and

**TRACER:** cameras :/

**JUNKRAT:** HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT

**JUNKRAT:** WE HAVENT HAD A MISSION RELATED TO TALON

**D.VA:** was it from the old overwatch days? :P

**TRACER:** er

**TRACER:** not exactly

**GENJI:** Lena why have you been visiting talon

**GENJI:** Dont you remember what happened the last time we were on a talon mission

**TRACER:** no??

**GENJI:** Apt considering weve never had one

**GENJI:** Because it was not our job

**TRACER:** well gerard wouldnt let me join him even though i asked everyday!!

**GENJI:** Your skills were better put to use elsewhere was what he said

**GENJI:** Repeatedly

**TRACER:** i know i just

**TRACER:** i was

**TRACER:** i was worried about him

**TRACER:** :(

**MCCREE:** we were all worried about him

**MCCREE:** but whenve you visited talon

**MCCREE:** winston aint gonna be happy to hear it

**TRACER:** hey i can do whatever i want during my spare time!

**GENJI:** Law permitting

**TRACER:** law permitting

**D.VA:** isnt talon kinda dangerous though??

**MCCREE:** why dont you ask @REAPER

**D.VA:** @REAPER is talon dangerous

**REAPER:** yes.

**D.VA:** why is that

**REAPER:** what kind of question is that.

**GENJI:** Gabe

**REAPER:** hey.

**GENJI:** Tell us all about your amazing security

**REAPER:** how many times do i have to remind you. i dont consider myself a member of talon. 

**GENJI:** I know that dear

**GENJI:** But tell us about talon hqs amazing security

**REAPER:** you just want me to tell the story about you sneaking around hq a week ago.

**GENJI:** Yes as a matter of fact i do

**GENJI:** Indulge me

**REAPER:** ok.

**REAPER:** talon has multiple bases. some shadier than others. the one i report to is in a big office building. pretty unassuming.

**REAPER:** security is tight. but only because its an upscale business place.

**REAPER:** theres a front desk when you walk in.

**REAPER:** most of the people who work there are affiliated with talon in some way. some are just businesspeople who keep the place running.

**REAPER:** money laundering. gain. etcetera. 

**REAPER:** anyway.

**REAPER:** one day im at hq because there was some stupid meeting.

**REAPER:** genji decides he wants to visit.

**REAPER:** so he does.

**GENJI:** I had a very good outfit

**GENJI:** I could not walk in without dressing up

**REAPER:** he brought one of my masks.

**GENJI:** The bird one from the party

**GENJI:** The green one that i like

**GENJI:** You left it in my room

**REAPER:** yeah.

**GENJI:** I had a big hoodie it was not mine

**REAPER:** was it mine.

**GENJI:** No 

**REAPER:** whose clothes are you stealing.

**GENJI:** Its not theft

**GENJI:** Im borrowing

**REAPER:** without permission.

**GENJI:** He wont notice

**REAPER:** was it jacks.

**GENJI:** No jack gets upset when i mess up his drawers

**REAPER:** well he has them well organized.

**SOLDIER: 76:** i’m not willing to live like you two.

**GENJI:** My room is an organized mess

**SOLDIER: 76:** it’s a mess.

**MCCREE:** hold on a sec did you say hoodie

**GENJI:** I typed it but yes i did

**MCCREE:** what kinda hoodie

**GENJI:** Big

**GENJI:** Navy

**MCCREE:** was there text on the front

**GENJI:** Yes

**GENJI:** It was custom printed

**MCCREE:** and whats it say

**GENJI:** ‘Yiff’

**MCCREE:** you son of a bitch

**GENJI:** :wink:

**REAPER:** why do you have a sweater that says yiff on the front.

**MCCREE:** ITS NOT MINE

**REAPER:** then why do you know about it.

**MCCREE:** BECAUSE ITS HANZOS

**REAPER:** why does hanzo have a sweater that says yiff on the front.

**GENJI:** Why dont you ask him

**REAPER:** @HANZO why do you have a sweater that says yiff on the front.

**HANZO:** What.

**REAPER:** just curious.

**HANZO:** Did you find it.

**REAPER:** no. but sounds like genji did.

**HANZO:** I should’ve known.

**GENJI:** Shouldve known what

**MCCREE:** HE THOUGHT I TOOK IT

**HANZO:** You have taken other articles of clothing that belong to me.

**HANZO:** You are not yet exempt from blame.

**MCCREE:** aw cmon darlin dont be like that

**GENJI:** This is hilarious

**GENJI:** You thought jesse would take that thing

**GENJI:** Well it is warm

**HANZO:** Like I said he has taken other articles of clothing that belong to me.

**GENJI:** He doesnt even know what yiff means

**HANZO:** Does anybody.

**D.VA:** jesus CHRIST hanzo

**HANZO:** What.

**MCCREE:** what the hells a yiff

**D.VA:** omfg

**GENJI:** Jesse you continue to embarrass yourself

 

**\-- GENJI pinned a message: [MCCREE: what the hells a yiff] --**

 

**MCCREE:** fuck yall im googling it

**HANZO:** No don’t.

**D.VA:** ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  ****

**GENJI:** Somebody stop him before he discovers something he is not meant to

**MCCREE:** what am i looking at 

**GENJI:** Depends

**GENJI:** Do you have safe search on

**MCCREE:** yeah

**GENJI:** Ok keep it on

**GENJI:** Also why do you have it on

**MCCREE:** sometimes i wanna find out what somethin is without also findin weird porn

**GENJI:** Oh jesse

**HANZO:** Oh Jesse.

**MCCREE:** what

**REAPER:** this is almost funny.

**GENJI:** I would say its pretty funny

**D.VA:** yeah if you find a train wreck amusing

**GENJI:** Jesse has stolen my spotlight i will not have this

**HANZO:** Your fault for stealing my clothing.

**GENJI:** Hanzo

**GENJI:** Get over it

**HANZO:** No.

**GENJI:** Get over it like i got over you murdering me

**HANZO:** ...

**MCCREE:** harsh

**REAPER:** damn.

**HANZO:** I must go.

**GENJI:** Yeah thats right

**GENJI:** OW

**GENJI:** HOW DID YOU EVEN KNOW I WAS HERE

**HANZO:** Sonar arrow.

**GENJI:** Oh right

**GENJI:** @MERCY If youre not too busy having sex with fareeha can you please remove this arrow from my torso

**GENJI:** Why anija

**HANZO:** Give me my sweater back.

**GENJI:** As much as id like to do that there is an arrow in my torso right now

**HANZO:** Walk it off.

**GENJI:** Asshole

**GENJI:** Anyway i was wearing the bird mask and hoodie and skinny jeans and gloves so they wouldnt see my hands

**GENJI:** Which i love by the way the jeans i mean

**GENJI:** They make my legs look great

**TRACER:** your legs always look great love :P

**REAPER:**  agreed.

**GENJI:** Thank you

**GENJI:** Oh and i was wearing shoes

**GENJI:** It was weird im not used to wearing shoes but whatever i was wearing them

**REAPER:** so genji walks right in. right up to the front desk.

**REAPER:** he greets the receptionist.

**REAPER:** and he asks.

**REAPER:** ‘can you let me upstairs so i can go fuck my boyfriend’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ [some genji art :^)](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/150444728763/karshilicious) [some mchanzo art ft. PUPPY DOG!!!! PUPPY!!!!!!!!!! DAMN THAT IS SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE I LOVE DOGS.](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/149917208031/crotah-how-to-win-ur-cowboys-heart)


	25. LOG 13: PART 3/3

**\-- BBQ HQ --**

**D.VA:** ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  ****

**TRACER:** you didnt really???

**GENJI:** I did really

**MCCREE:** oh my lord genji

**SOLDIER: 76:** what’d the receptionist say?

**JUNKRAT:** I WOULDA KICKED YOU OUTTA THE PLACE

**REAPER:** receptionist has to pause. she was wondering if genji was serious or not.

**REAPER:** you have to remember this is a classy business building. yes its a talon base but its also a professional workplace.

**REAPER:** this isnt the kind of shit shes used to dealing with.

**REAPER:** she sends him to the third floor. he thanks her and heads for the elevator.

**MCCREE:** i cant imagine genji going up an elevator

**MCCREE:** soft music playing

**MCCREE:** listening to the dings as each floor goes by

**GENJI:** Why not jesse

**GENJI:** I can ride elevators

**MCCREE:** cant explain it

**REAPER:** the third floor is colloquially referred to as the purge floor.

**TRACER:** spooky!

**REAPER:** well. i guess thats the point.

**REAPER:** its where people are sent to be killed.

**REAPER:** it doesnt see much use. most rooms are used for target practice. but there are people who have to wait in the hall in case somebody shows up.

**REAPER:** dont ask me why they have an entire floor dedicated to this. seems like a complete waste of money.

**MCCREE:** probly good for hazings

**REAPER:** yeah.

**REAPER:** its none of my business though. so i dont know.

**REAPER:** genji arrives.

**REAPER:** everyones dead in the next ten minutes.

**REAPER:** not even a chance for somebody to sound an alarm.

**GENJI:** I do clean work

**REAPER:** yes. i know.

**REAPER:** genji goes back down to the second floor.

**REAPER:** he kills everyone who attacks him. and terrifies some interns who werent meant to see anything. 

**REAPER:** he proceeds to go through every floor bottom to top.

**REAPER:** i have to be honest. talon is lucky i was on the fifth floor.

**REAPER:** a lot of people were dead by the time genji found me.

**REAPER:** leaving that stupid meeting.

**REAPER:** he was completely untouched.

**GENJI:** Not true

**GENJI:** I shredded my gloves when i had to use my shuriken.

**REAPER:** ill buy you new ones.

**GENJI:** Its okay it was an old pair

**GENJI:** Thank you though

**REAPER:** but by the fifth floor somebody has told somebody else. or the guy watching the cameras stopped playing hearthstone for three seconds long enough to hit a button.

**D.VA:** people still play hearthstone???

**REAPER:** yes.

**REAPER:** youd be surprised.

**D.VA:** that IS surprising

**REAPER:** even i get the alert that a dangerous individual has breached security. all that warning shit.

**REAPER:** im not even surprised to see genji walking up to me.

**REAPER:** and not surprised to hear about him taking out some of talons better fighters.

**GENJI:** There were close calls

**GENJI:** I am not a perfect fighter

**MERCY:** Pretty close to that, though.

**MERCY:** It is good to hear you did well. I’d hate to be disappointed.

**GENJI:** I would hate to disappoint you angela

**GENJI:** Are you coming by the way

**MERCY:** Yes, I have my staff. Don’t worry.

**GENJI:** Ok thanks because this arrow is uncomfortable and it shredded something

**GENJI:** Continue gabe

**REAPER:** everyone behind me was agitated. sometimes people discover the buildings a talon hq. but rarely do they have trouble neutralizing threats.

**GENJI:** Nobody expects shuriken and a sword

**GENJI:** They expect guns

**REAPER:** this is true.

**REAPER:** when i engaged genji the group relaxed.

**REAPER:** i told him we should get out of there. genji agreed. he opens a window and jumps out.

**TRACER:** thats one way to make an exit :)

**JUNKRAT:** WOW

**JUNKRAT:** SOUNDS PAINFUL

**GENJI:** Cybernetic enhancements

**GENJI:** I was fine it was not a huge jolt

**D.VA:** you jumped out from the fifth floor of a building

**GENJI:** Yes but i was fine after

**D.VA:** alright

**D.VA:** thats it

**D.VA:** i wanna be a cyborg too

**D.VA:** thats cool shit

**GENJI:** Do you have an older brother

**GENJI:** Get him to murder you

**GENJI:** Then angela will make you almost as cool as me but not cooler because im the coolest obviously

**D.VA:** im an only child

**GENJI:** A shame

**REAPER:** i told the members i had to go. they couldnt keep me because the meeting was over. and i only report to a few people.

**REAPER:** i teleported down outside the building.

**TRACER:** did anyone see you??

**REAPER:** doubt it. this was around five in the morning. not a lot of people on the streets and its just dark enough to conceal me.

**REAPER:** i hop into genjis car and we leave. just like that.

**REAPER:** on the way back he tells me about how annoying it was to find me.

**GENJI:** Well it was annoying

**TRACER:** good job on taking out so many talon members love!

**GENJI:** Murder is ok sometimes

**D.VA:** im not advocating murder

**GENJI:** Its ok you dont have to

**JUNKRAT:** WERE ANY OF THEM BOTS

**GENJI:** A few

**JUNKRAT:** GOOD

**GENJI:** My blade does not discriminate

**JUNKRAT:** NEITHER DO MY BOMBS

**GENJI:** But you do

**JUNKRAT:** IVE GOT MY REASONS

**JUNKRAT:** MOST OF OZ DOES

**GENJI:** Yes yes i know

**GENJI:** I am very aware of that

**TRACER:** so you bypassed the talon guard by killing them all?

**GENJI:** Yes lena

**GENJI:** I do not want any lectures about how murder is wrong i know its wrong

**REAPER:** you killed a bunch of murderers.

**REAPER:** minor loss.

**D.VA:** i dont think thats how it works

**REAPER:** they were assholes.

**D.VA:** arent they your coworkers tho

**REAPER:** i guess.

**REAPER:** if were not on a job theyre not my responsibility.

**D.VA:** harsh

**MCCREE:** lets not dwell on the moral ambiguity of overwatch agents

**GENJI:** Yeah

**GENJI:** Many former agents are mercenaries now

**GENJI:** Except for the ones gabe killed

**GENJI:** Those ones are dead

**TRACER:** were mercenaries too though

**GENJI:** Some of us more than others yes

**JUNKRAT:** MURDER IS OK SOMETIMES

**MERCY:** Are we advocating murder again?

**GENJI:** No angela

**MERCY:** Well, good.

**MERCY:** Don’t do that.

**GENJI:** Yes angela

**GENJI:** Murder is

**MERCY:** Bad.

**GENJI:** Bad

**GENJI:** Yup

**GENJI:** What was that noise

**JUNKRAT:** BARBEQUE AGAIN SORRY

**GENJI:** Its louder than last time

**GENJI:** You mustve woken up the whole base

**JUNKRAT:** YEP

**JUNKRAT:** USING DIFFERENT TECHNIQUES

**GENJI:** Good luck

**JUNKRAT:** THANKS

**TRACER:** well im gonna visit talon hq

**GENJI:** Why

**TRACER:** none of your business!

**REAPER:** lena stop.

**REAPER:** its 2 in the morning.

**TRACER:** im already getting in the car

**GENJI:** Hey dont take my car

**TRACER:** sorry love but its important!

**GENJI:** You cannot take my car i will turn it off

**TRACER:** just let me use it!! 

**GENJI:** You can fucking walk

**TRACER:** fuck off!!

**D.VA:** ooh go at it

**MCCREE:** why cant i have a car

**GENJI:** Can you even drive

**MCCREE:** maybe

**MCCREE:** maybe not

**MCCREE:** can you

**GENJI:** Yes jesse i can drive you need to be able to drive before you can own a car

**GENJI:** Even without plugging myself in i can drive

**MCCREE:** damn it

**GENJI:** Its more regulation than logic at this point

**GENJI:** And there goes my car

**GENJI:** @TRACER If theres a single scratch on it i will not be happy

**TRACER:** relax love its on autopilot!!

**GENJI:** Ok good

**GENJI:** I dont trust you to drive it manually

**D.VA:** its kinda funny isnt it

**GENJI:** What is

**D.VA:** people used to drive manually all the time

**GENJI:** Oh yes

**GENJI:** Not very smart

**D.VA:** well that was before we figured out how to make cars drive themselves

**LÚCIO:** so... we didn’t always have self-driving cars?

**D.VA:** yep

**D.VA:** wild right

**LÚCIO:** yeah, that IS pretty wild, actually.

**GENJI:** People are not good at driving

**GENJI:** Cars drive themselves better than people drive them

**D.VA:** lol so true

**GENJI:** Thank goodness for that

**GENJI:** Im not sure if lena remembers how to use the turn signal

**GENJI:** You have to use the turn signal

**TRACER:** who cares?? everyones letting their cars drive themselves anyway :/

**GENJI:** You have to use the turn signal lena

**TRACER:** yeah whatever!!

**GENJI:** You have to use the fucking turn signal

**TRACER:** geez genji

**TRACER:** the cars turning it on automatically so dont worry ok??

**GENJI:** Just checking

**MERCY:** @EVERYONE

**MERCY:** I have an important question.

**HANZO:** What is it.

**GENJI:** What is it

**MCCREE:** somethin the matter angie

**TRACER:** someone die?

**MERCY:** Not yet.

**TRACER:** D:

**D.VA:** oh shit what

**D.VA:** should we be worried

**LÚCIO:** sounds like it...

**JUNKRAT:** WHOS GONNA DIE

**JUNKRAT:** I WANNA KNOW

**ZARYA:** Is an Omnic causing trouble?

**MERCY:** Somebody certainly is.

**WINSTON:** What’s the matter, Dr. Ziegler?

**GENJI:** I am worried

**REAPER:** what happened.

**SOLDIER: 76:** it better be important if you had to ping all of us.

**PHARAH:** What, who’s dying?

**REINHARDT:** not this again

**MEI:** What’s the matter?

**ZENYATTA:** Evidently, something is amiss.

**ROADHOG:** something major.

**TORBJÖRN:** Something bad.

**SYMMETRA:** I am sure we can solve the problem together.

**MERCY:** I would hope so.

**MERCY:** I am not allowing anyone to leave or enter this facility until it is solved.

**WINSTON:** Did you just... lock the doors?

**MERCY:** I am in the building’s primary command and control center, and yes, I did.

**MERCY:** This is serious.

**MEI:** Is there someone in the building?

**MERCY:** It’s just us.

**MCCREE:** aint tracer out

**MERCY:** She will be allowed to return after this situation is resolved.

**GENJI:** But what happened angela

**MERCY:** Listen carefully. And by that, I mean read this carefully.

**SYMMETRA:** Everybody is present.

**BASTION:** 01100010 01100101 01100101 01110000 ? (″ロ゛)

**ZENYATTA:** We do not know yet, my friend.

**ZARYA:** If you locked us in, we have to listen now anyway.

**MERCY:** Then listen.

**MERCY:** One of you bastards stole my chocolate bar.

**MERCY:** I know it hasn’t been opened yet because the packaging is wired.

**MERCY:** Confess now, and you needn’t suffer.

**GENJI:** Angela i cant eat

**MERCY:** Nobody is exempt from blame until I determine it so.

**MERCY:** Even if you cannot or do not intend to consume the chocolate yourself, you might’ve stolen it for somebody who can or will.

**MERCY:** The chocolate was still present earlier this evening. I know because I checked.

**MERCY:** All of you are to present to me via direct messages a case for your innocence.

**MERCY:** I will personally decide what to make of it.

**MERCY:** If you do not submit your case, I will suspect you.

**MERCY:** You do not want me to suspect you.

**MERCY:** Now.

**MERCY:** Go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ [mercy art!](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/149430809571/hensa-date-night-mercy-angela-ziegler)


	26. LOG 14: PART 1/3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (translations are being added and should be done within the next 5 mins. sit tight thank you) //

**\-- BBQ HQ --**

**GENJI:** What just happened

 **D.VA:** i dont know

 **PHARAH:** Well, I’m going to write and submit my case immediately.

 **MCCREE:** seconded

 **MCCREE:** you do NOT wanna get on angies bad side yall

 **MCCREE:** make like the fuckin wind

 **JUNKRAT:** AYE AYE CAPN

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @D.VA & @TRACER --**

 **TRACER:** What is this.

 **D.VA:** oh hey lena

 **D.VA:** you make it to the place yet?

 **D.VA:** did you turn caps on your phone again btw...

 **TRACER:** Quoi?

 **TRACER:** No.

 **TRACER:** This is how I text. isn’t it?

 **D.VA:** no

 **D.VA:** who is this

 **D.VA:** oh shit what happened to lena????

 **TRACER:** She’s fine.

 **TRACER:** [[IMG_22105]]

 **D.VA:** is she napping??

 **TRACER:** Oui.

 **D.VA:** why did you take her phone?

 **D.VA:** how did you even know where to find it

 **D.VA:** it took me weeks to understand how she got it out of her gun gauntlet things

 **TRACER:** Think of it as my dabbling in some data retrieval. it turns out there is nothing of value to retrieve. though this is unfortunate, it is not unexpected.

 **D.VA:** ok but who are you

 **D.VA:** you didnt even answer my questions

 **TRACER:** I am not obligated to do so, d.va.

 **TRACER:** Though it is amusing that you would try to ask.

 **D.VA:** man hand the phone back to lena shes less condescending

 **TRACER:** As you wish.

 **TRACER:** Alas, she is still asleep. it seems you will have to deal with me for a little longer.

 **TRACER:** Or perhaps not, seeing as there are other contacts on this list.

 **D.VA:** how longd it take you to figure that out

 **D.VA:** dont you use discord

 **TRACER:** Non.

 **D.VA:** liar

 **D.VA:** everyone uses discord

 **D.VA:** i have to write a thing for someone to prove my innocence see ya

 **TRACER:** Adieu.

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @MERCY & @MCCREE --**

 **MCCREE:** ill keep it short for you ang

 **MERCY:** That would be preferable.

 **MCCREE:** ok i couldnt take your chocolate cause

 **MCCREE:** i was fuckin hanzo

 **MERCY:** Noted.

 **MCCREE:** aw cmon dont you believe me

 **MERCY:** I’ll see what everyone else has to say before I lay down my verdict, Jesse. It’s only fair.

 **MCCREE:** well youll find out im tellin the truth

 **MERCY:** Danke. You are dismissed.

 **MCCREE:** alright see you

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @HANZO & @MERCY --**

 **HANZO:** I was fucking Jesse.

 **MERCY:** Oh, so he was telling the truth.

 **HANZO:** Yes.

 **MERCY:** I suppose that would’ve kept you both occupied at the time of the theft.

 **MERCY:** Seeing as you two have an alibi, even if that is each other, I’ll be forced to take his words seriously.

 **HANZO:** Good luck Angela.

 **MERCY:** Thank you, Hanzo.

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @MEI & @TRACER --**

 **TRACER:** Bonsoir. ****

**MEI:** Hey, Lena!

 **MEI:** Why are you typing like that?

 **MEI:** Uh oh, did you turn capital letters and punctuation on again by accident?

 **TRACER:** Non. ****

**MEI:** Then who are you? How did you get into Lena’s phone?

 **TRACER:** She was too eager to get to me. do not worry. she will return unscathed.

 **MEI:** Is Genji’s car intact? He’ll have a fit if she scraped it somehow...

 **TRACER:** The sports car is intact. as for superficial damage, I cannot say.

 **TRACER:** What is this program used for? just chats? is that all it’s capable of?

 **MEI:** That’s none of your business.

 **TRACER:** Perhaps I should’ve found a warmer person to speak to.

 **MEI:** That’s cold.

 **TRACER:** C’est la vie. ****we cannot all be like Lena.

 **TRACER:** I’ll seek another conversation partner.

 **MEI:** Then go.

 **MEI:** Lena being in a Talon base is bad news. I don’t trust you, and I have nothing to tell you.

 **TRACER:** Don’t raise the alarm bells. she’s safe.

 **MEI:** And why not? We can come check for ourselves.

 **TRACER:** Bonne question. ****

**TRACER:** Perhaps I have learned mercy. or perhaps she has now made herself too easy a thing of prey for me to kill her now, in her current vulnerable state.

 **MEI:** That’s a very long winded way to tell me that you like her.

 **TRACER:** I don’t have feelings.

 **MEI:** What?

 **MEI:** Wait...

 **MEI:** Amelie?

 **MEI:** Amelie Lacroix??

 **TRACER:** That is no longer my name, Mei. I’m Widowmaker now.

 **TRACER:** And it’s Amélie.

 **MEI:** You... murdered Gerard and Ana.

 **TRACER:** Gérard.

 **MEI:** Get away from Lena!

 **TRACER:** Don’t make me laugh.

 **MEI:** Oh, you can still do that?

 **TRACER:** Un petit peu. ****

**TRACER:** If you send anyone over, I will not hesitate to send a bullet through her heart. or through the device keeping her anchored in our present time.

 **MEI:** How can you be so cold?

 **TRACER:** Don’t ask me such a useless question, ice queen.

 **MEI:** Please don’t hurt Lena.

 **TRACER:** I won’t, if you leave our base alone.

 **MEI:** Um, I can. But I can’t promise much in the way of my coworkers. Particularly... Genji.

 **TRACER:** Oh, Genji Shimada? he’s allowed in here now. deciding that seemed to save us some trouble recently.

 **MEI:** And Lena?

 **TRACER:** She’s with me. she can visit if she plays it safe.

 **MEI:** Right.

 **TRACER:** Remember to keep away from my business,  chérie. bon nuit. ****

**MEI:** Bye.

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @JUNKRAT & @MERCY --**

 **JUNKRAT:** ALRIGHT MATE IM HERE TO MAKE MY CASE

 **MERCY:** Proceed.

 **JUNKRAT:** WELL I WAS BBQING TONIGHT

 **JUNKRAT:** YKNOW KINDA LIKE I DO EVERY NIGHT?

 **MERCY:** Ja. ****

**JUNKRAT:** JUST ASK LÚCIO HE WAS THERE

 **JUNKRAT:** ROADHOG AND TORBJORGENSMONSTER TOO

 **JUNKRAT:** AND ALSO HANA DROPPED IN AT ONE POINT

 **MERCY:** When?

 **JUNKRAT:** DUNNO I WAS TOO BUSY COOKING

 **MERCY:** Alright. Were you and the others at the BBQ all evening?

 **JUNKRAT:** AND NIGHT MATE

 **JUNKRAT:** A GOOD BBQ HAS A LONG LIFE

 **MERCY:** Good to hear you have fun here.

 **JUNKRAT:** SURE DO

 **MERCY:** I will keep this all in mind. You are dismissed now, Jamison.

 **JUNKRAT:** AUGH CALL ME JUNKRAT

 **JUNKRAT:** JAMISON SOUNDS SO FORMAL WHEN YOU SAY IT

 **MERCY:** James?

 **JUNKRAT:** OK THATS FINE

 **JUNKRAT:** TA TA

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @HANZO & @TRACER --**

 **TRACER:** You.

 **HANZO:** What.

 **HANZO:** Why are you typing like that.

 **TRACER:** No reason.

 **HANZO:** It’s strange.

 **HANZO:** Are you mocking me that won’t work.

 **TRACER:** No, you self-centered twat.

 **HANZO:** Ok.

 **TRACER:** You are the archer,  oui? ****

**HANZO:** I would think that you’d already know who I am seeing as we work together.

 **TRACER:** Hanzo Shimada.

 **HANZO:** What do you want Lena.

 **TRACER:** This is not Lena.

 **HANZO:** Then who is it.

 **TRACER:** Nobody you know.

 **HANZO:** Talon.

 **HANZO:** Correct.

 **TRACER:** Oui.

**HANZO:** Ok bye.

 **TRACER:** Hold on, why leave so soon?

 **HANZO:** You are annoying me.

 **TRACER:** And you’re a delight yourself.

 **HANZO:** Why did you take Lena’s phone.

 **TRACER:** Is that your business?

 **HANZO:** No.

 **HANZO:** Now answer the question.

 **TRACER:** Lena is with me in the HQ. she’s asleep and she’s safe. I’m keeping her away from my coworkers.

 **HANZO:** Ok.

 **TRACER:** And you believe this?

 **HANZO:** Maybe.

 **HANZO:** Maybe not.

 **TRACER:** Hm.  touché. ****I suppose you have no reason to trust me.

 **TRACER:** You should keep a closer eye on your brother.

 **HANZO:** He’s with me.

 **TRACER:** Quoi? 

**HANZO:** He is in the room with me that is as close as I’ll come to keeping an eye on him.

 **HANZO:** It is not my concern if he raids your building.

 **TRACER:** We authorized his visits to stop him from killing all of our interns.

 **HANZO:** Hilarious.

 **TRACER:** I would’ve preferred being given the permission to kill him.

 **TRACER:** However, it seems he is rather adept at avoiding an untimely death. so it seems my superiors will grant him life, even if this arrangement is temporary.

 **HANZO:** Dead is the fool who underestimates Genji.

 **TRACER:** Oui. that has certainly proved to be true.

 **HANZO:** Do not make that mistake again.

 **TRACER:** I will not. my coworkers are... well, if they wish to test their skill against his blade and claw, even my word will not stop them.

 **TRACER:** It would almost be entertaining to watch them try.

 **HANZO:** I would hope you are not attached to these people.

 **TRACER:** Oh, I’m not attached to anyone.

 **HANZO:** That is wise.

 **TRACER:** Wouldn’t you know, Hanzo?

 **HANZO:** ...

 **TRACER:** Adieu. ****and tell Jesse I said hello.


	27. LOG 14: PART 2/3

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @GENJI & @HANZO --**

**HANZO:** Genji.

 **GENJI:** Hanzo

 **GENJI:** Why are we typing each others names

 **HANZO:** No reason.

 **GENJI:** Whats up  anija ****

**HANZO:** I wanted to say.

 **HANZO:** I’m sorry.

 **HANZO:** About everything.

 **HANZO:** I’m sorry for killing you and for being mean to you like it was your fault when it was mine.

 **HANZO:** I’m sorry I’ve been a terrible person and an even worse brother.

 **HANZO:** I thought it’d be easier to close myself off than to forgive myself and in turn accept your forgiveness also.

 **HANZO:** But I was wrong.

 **HANZO:** Apparently that was too difficult for me to even attempt.

 **HANZO:** I always thought that I would rather kill myself than hurt you especially the way I did.

 **HANZO:** I was right.

 **HANZO:** But I hurt you anyway.

 **HANZO:** And you live.

 **HANZO:** And I do too against my own will.

 **HANZO:** I should be grateful but all I feel is guilt and regret and I have found that I am unable to reconcile with my sins.

 **HANZO:** It’s because of me that you have to be what you are.

 **HANZO:** I don’t know why I thought fighting in Hanamura was a smart course of action when I should’ve just.

 **HANZO:** Talked to you.

 **HANZO:** It was.

 **HANZO:** Your birthday.

 **HANZO:** I did not forget nor will I ever.

 **HANZO:** But it was hard to talk.

 **HANZO:** And I have been weak.

 **GENJI:** Oh hanzo

 **GENJI:** You know i rather like being a cyborg

 **GENJI:** Its pretty cool

 **GENJI:** I can do things that no mere human can

 **GENJI:** Hanzo

 **HANZO:** Yes Genji.

 **GENJI:** My dick lights up

 **HANZO:** Genji.

 **GENJI:** Impressed yet  anija ****

**HANZO:** Sure  otouto. ****

**GENJI:** Damn right you are

 **GENJI:** Anyway you already know i forgive you completely

 **GENJI:** If the big spider instance was anything to go off of

 **HANZO:** I recall.

 **GENJI:** Thanks for that by the way

 **HANZO:** It’s no problem.

 **HANZO:** Just like old times I suppose.

 **GENJI:** Hey

 **GENJI:** That really was a big spider

 **GENJI:** Where do you think it went

 **HANZO:** One can only wonder.

 **GENJI:** Well you put it outside on the windowsill then it crawled away

 **GENJI:** Do you think it came back inside but into someone elses open window

 **HANZO:** That is a possibility.

 **GENJI:** Oh well not my problem anymore

 **GENJI:** By the way why are you messaging me when were in the same room

 **HANZO:** I’m bad at.

 **HANZO:** Talking.

 **GENJI:** Ok true

 **GENJI:** Jesse should get you a belt that says BAT

 **GENJI:** (It stands for bad at talking)

 **GENJI:** Your apology was very sweet though

 **GENJI:** Come over here and give me a meaningful hug

 **HANZO:** No.

 **GENJI:** I am getting up to give you a meaningful hug

 **HANZO:** Stop we don’t have to do that.

 **GENJI:** Yes we do

 **GENJI:** Hug me you bastard

 **HANZO:** Stop I’m trying to type.

 **GENJI:** Let go of your phone for three seconds

 **GENJI:** Ow

 **GENJI:** You suck at this

 **GENJI:** Ok hanzo i can see you trying to type me another message but you cant do that when im trying to hug you

 **GENJI:** Key word trying

 **GENJI:** I can because i am a cyborg and open internal processes to reply to messages but you are only human

 **GENJI:** Try the hug thing its supposed to be heartwarming

 **GENJI:** Hey

 **GENJI:** HEY

 **GENJI:** That is not where your hand goes

 **GENJI:** Ow

 **GENJI:** Why hanzo

 **GENJI:** Angela just patched that up

 **GENJI:** I am releasing you

 **GENJI:** Where are you going

 **HANZO:** I’m getting lunch.

 **GENJI:** Get me some too

 **HANZO:** Ok.

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @MERCY & @SOLDIER: 76 --**

 **SOLDER: 76:** i didn’t do it.

 **MERCY:** That’s not a case, Jack.

 **MERCY:** Do you have anything to add?

 **MERCY:** Were you with Gabriel?

 **SOLDIER: 76:** am i ever not?

 **MERCY:** Okay, fair point.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** genji was there, too.

 **MERCY:** Unsurprising.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** reyes left at one point to take a smoke break.

 **MERCY:** He’s smoking?

 **SOLDIER: 76:** no, not like... cigarettes. i mean a literal smoke break.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** sometimes he just wants a break to form and reform at will or whatever. dissipate unneeded molecules, something like that. i’m not exactly familiar with it.

 **MERCY:** Hmm. Interesting.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** i don’t want to accuse him, though.

 **MERCY:** Of course not.

 **MERCY:** Are you still mad about the Swiss HQ?

 **SOLDIER: 76:** no.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** maybe a little bit.

 **MERCY:** I am so tired of drama.

 **MERCY:** You are dismissed.

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @GENJI & @HANZO --**

 **HANZO:** Do you want the chicken or beef?

 **GENJI:** Hahahaha

 **GENJI:** You are actually getting me food

 **GENJI:** Are you seriously asking

 **HANZO:** Well I wasn’t going to pick for you.

 **GENJI:** Hanzo i cant fucking eat

 **HANZO:** ...

 **HANZO:** Oh.

 **HANZO:** Right.

 **GENJI:** Loser

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @REAPER & @TRACER --**

 **TRACER:** I thought I might find you here. you always struck me as a bit of a traitor.

 **REAPER:** what.

 **REAPER:** oh its you.

 **REAPER:** the fuck do you want amelie.

 **TRACER:** Before you ask, Lena is with me and she is safe.

 **REAPER:** wasnt going to.

 **TRACER:** Why do you fraternize with these people, Gabriel?

 **REAPER:** some of these people are my boyfriends.

 **REAPER:** you know what thats like dont you. hell. gerards account is still in the group.

 **TRACER:** I am aware.

 **TRACER:** But to see you participating in the group... what would your superiors say?

 **REAPER:** none of their business. you gonna tell them.

 **TRACER:** I suppose I could.

 **REAPER:** ok.

 **REAPER:** but if you did. id have to rejoin overwatch to take talon down. and thats a lot of work i dont want to do.

 **TRACER:** You are threatening me?

 **REAPER:** not you in specific.

 **TRACER:** Talon is my home now, do not forget that. you are a fool to turn your back on us.

 **REAPER:** very scary. the purple woman is talking shit to me.

 **TRACER:** I’m helping you avoid further trouble.

 **REAPER:** whatever.

 **TRACER:** I should’ve spoken to you first. it would’ve explained so much. you’re still soft.

 **REAPER:** soft huh.

 **REAPER:** then why havent you killed lena yet.

 **TRACER:** That’s none of your business. she’s mine to do with as I please.

 **REAPER:** yeah and youre letting her live.

 **TRACER:** Would you rather I killed her?

 **REAPER:** dont care.

 **TRACER:** Of course you do, Gabriel. you watched her grow up for a while, like Jesse, Angela, and Fareeha.

 **TRACER:** Unlike myself, you still have feelings.

 **TRACER:** Ironic, isn’t it?

 **REAPER:** what.

 **TRACER:** That even now, you are such a _soft_ person.

 **REAPER:** im not.

 **TRACER:** You are.

 **TRACER:** If I was able to be disgusted, I would find your situation rather pathetic.

 **REAPER:** i dont need your pity.

 **TRACER:** I have no pity to give, Gabriel. don’t make such a brazen assumption.

 **REAPER:** just bring lena back.

 **TRACER:** I have work of my own to do, and I owe you nothing. she will wake on her own shortly and drive back, unharmed.

 **TRACER:** Would you like me to pay a visit to the facility? there’s already a tracker on the car.

 **REAPER:** you put a tracker on genjis sports car.

 **TRACER:** Not myself.

 **REAPER:** thats really stupid.

 **TRACER:** Oh? and why is that?

 **REAPER:** he can detect that shit. remember. cyborg perks.

 **REAPER:** so.

 **REAPER:** not a smart move on talons part.

 **TRACER:** That is none of my personal concern.

 **TRACER:** Ah. she stirs.

 **TRACER:** I will see you soon.

 **REAPER:** bye.

* * *

 

**\-- BBQ HQ --**

**MERCY:** So I have processed all of the pleas that were sent to me. Congratulations, by the way... everyone sent one.

 **JUNKRAT:** WONDERFUL

 **D.VA:** cool so now what

 **REINHARDT:** who’s guilty?

 **MERCY:** If you are all telling the truth, then nobody is. Of course, this means that at least one person is lying.

 **MCCREE:** i aint surprised

 **MCCREE:** have you figured out whodunnit

 **MERCY:** Well.

 **MERCY:** To be completely honest, no.

 **PHARAH:** And what of your suspicions?

 **MERCY:** I’m not really sure.

 **MERCY:** I don’t want to judge all of you based on whether or not you’re a bit of a troublemaker.

 **MERCY:** I’m not sure if anyone’s lying, and while I can make some well-informed guesses, I don’t have anyone to accuse.

 **HANZO:** Is that not a good thing.

 **MERCY:** It’s not a good thing, because I want my fucking chocolate back.

 **MERCY:** Please, if you fess up now and give me my chocolate back, I’ll be lenient.

 **MCCREE:** well i aint got it angie

 **HANZO:** Somebody has to have it.

 **GENJI:** We can only wonder

 **WINSTON:** Let’s not turn this into another situation.

 **WINSTON:** The last time this kind of thing happened, it wasn’t pretty.

 **MCCREE:** heh i remember

 **SOLDIER: 76:** nine injured, and a lot of people not speaking to others for weeks.

 **WINSTON:** Whoever the guilty party is, we would all appreciate a confession.

 **WINSTON:** You don’t even have to put it in the group chat. You can direct message Dr. Ziegler, and I’m sure she’ll be completely understanding.

 **REAPER:** i just figured out what the spider bitch was saying.

 **WINSTON:** What does that have to do with anything?

 **REAPER:** im giving you idiots a warning.

 **D.VA:** and... why would you want to do that???

 **REAPER:** none of your business.

 **GENJI:** Aw you care about overwatch

 **REAPER:** genji please.

 **GENJI:** :heart:

 **REAPER:** :heart:

 **REAPER:** ok but seriously.

 **REAPER:** shes coming. here. to the facility.

 **MCCREE:** who

 **REINHARDT:** who’s coming?

 **REAPER:** widowmaker.

 **MERCY:** I don’t care. And nobody is exempt from my suspicions.

 **MERCY:** I will tear this place apart until I find answers.

 **MERCY:** Everyone has until midnight to see this to its end.

 **MCCREE:** uh

 **MCCREE:** or else what

 **GENJI:** Yes what are you going to do

 **GENJI:** Blow us all up

 **JUNKRAT:** HAHAHAHA

 **MERCY:** No, but I will make you all regret not taking this seriously.

 **REAPER:** im trying to take things seriously.

 **REAPER:** my warning was not a joke.

 **GENJI:** Relax i can handle amelie

 **GENJI:** Shes a sniper is she not

 **REAPER:** yeah.

 **GENJI:** Ok well its easy to fight snipers they suck

 **HANZO:** Rude.

 **GENJI:** :heart:

 **HANZO:** Stop.

 **GENJI:** Well be fine

 **GENJI:** Besides we have angela who is about to commence her murderous rampage from loss of expensive fancy chocolate

 **MERCY:** It was from home.

 **GENJI:** I am sorry for your loss angela

 **MERCY:** Oh, you’ll be sorry if I don’t get that chocolate back.

 **GENJI:** Right right

 **GENJI:** Well i will help you look partially because you are scaring me a little

 **JUNKRAT:** SAME HERE MATE

 **PHARAH:** We’ll all help.

 **TRACER:** Toc, toc. ****

**TRACER:** Il y a un loup à la porte ****

**REAPER:** ‘theres a wolf at the door.’ very funny amelie.

 **HANZO:** What.

 **REAPER:** not you. you goddamned furry.

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @MCCREE & @TRACER --**

 **MCCREE:** hey what the helld you do to hanzo

 **MCCREE:** he was all

 **MCCREE:** frowny

 **MCCREE:** more than usual i mean

 **MCCREE:** mei told me you stole lenas phone

 **MCCREE:** which aint that nice a you

 **MCCREE:** i dunno he aint often like this is what im tryin to say

 **MCCREE:** this agitated

 **MCCREE:** you still talkin to the others?

 **MCCREE:** heh

 **MCCREE:** you always were a risk taker werentcha

 **MCCREE:** kidding

 **MCCREE:** before you got brainwashed and killed gerard in his sleep you were pretty quiet yknow

 **MCCREE:** i miss gerard

 **MCCREE:** its beyond me what kinda shit talon could do to a person

 **MCCREE:** i guess we all like to think love wins in the end dont we

 **MCCREE:** but talon fucked you up pretty darn bad

 **MCCREE:** and gerards in his grave

 **MCCREE:** i aint even listenin to what youre sayin over there to the others but mei looks pissed

 **MCCREE:** i think gabriel locked the door

 **MCCREE:** genji hanzo and jack were in the cafeteria i think

 **MCCREE:** well it wont take her long to find em heh

 **MCCREE:** i can hear angie shoutin from across the base

 **MCCREE:** somebody stole her chocolate bar and she aint pleased

 **MCCREE:** shell be here soon enough i just know it

 **MCCREE:** we try to keep on angies good side cuz you never wanna piss a doctor off

 **MCCREE:** dunno who the hell would risk stealin her chocolate we all know how much she loves that stuff

 **MCCREE:** maybe its a swiss thing

 **MCCREE:** hell if i know

 **MCCREE:** but hey

 **MCCREE:** dont steal a persons food and think you can get away with it yeah?

 **MCCREE:** lesson to be learned tonight

 **MCCREE:** seems like someone thought itd be a good idea to sneak into a lions den and

 **MCCREE:** yeah

 **MCCREE:** anyway

 **MCCREE:** yknow

 **MCCREE:** we were friends once amelie

 **MCCREE:** i mean

 **MCCREE:** not close friends

 **MCCREE:** but we were friends

 **MCCREE:** cause of gerard you were around base sometimes

 **MCCREE:** dyou even remember?

 **MCCREE:** hey yknow

 **MCCREE:** i thought it meant somethin

 **MCCREE:** the jokes you and i and angie fareeha ana gabriel jack and the rest of us shared

 **MCCREE:** but

 **MCCREE:** lord if you could kill gerard

 **MCCREE:** what the fucks stoppin you from offin the rest of us?

 **MCCREE:** that aint what youre here to do else you woulda tried it already

 **MCCREE:** snipers dont

 **MCCREE:** snipers dont fight close range

 **MCCREE:** most of em at least

 **MCCREE:** i dont trust you

 **MCCREE:** but i dont wanna hate you neither

 **MCCREE:** aint in my nature to hate

 **MCCREE:** aint good to have a lotta hate to spread round i spose

 **MCCREE:** but while im still ramblin

 **MCCREE:** lemme tell you one thing

 **MCCREE:** if you hurt my boyfriend i will hunt you down and kill you myself

 **MCCREE:** you have no fuckin idea what im capable of lacroix


	28. LOG 14: PART 3/3

**\-- GENJI renamed group from BBQ HQ to ANGELA IS FUCKING PISSED --**

**REAPER:** very funny.

 **MCCREE:** speak for yourself hombre

 **REAPER:** i was being sarcastic.

 **MCCREE:** i knew that

 **PHARAH:** But did you really?

 **MCCREE:** maybe

 **GENJI:** Do not fear everyone

 **GENJI:** Genji is here

 **MCCREE:** is that sposed to reassure us

 **GENJI:** I dont know but it rhymes doesnt it

 **JUNKRAT:** I HEAR HER HEELS SHES COMING

 **GENJI:** Where are you

 **JUNKRAT:** IN THE KITCHEN WHERE ELSE MATE

 **GENJI:** I dont know

 **GENJI:** Nobody visits the kitchen

 **GENJI:** Most of us just order from the food ports in our rooms

 **MCCREE:** or the cafe

 **GENJI:** Yes i suppose the cafeteria as well

 **JUNKRAT:** WELL SOMETIMES I LIKE TO COOK

 **JUNKRAT:** GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT MATE

 **GENJI:** No mate

 **REAPER:** is anyone with you.

 **ROADHOG:** i am.

 **JUNKRAT:** WE JUST WANTED A COFFEE

 **ROADHOG:** i’m going to finish making this coffee whether the doctor woman wants us to or not.

 **JUNKRAT:** WOW I CANT BELIEVE YOURE TALKING IN THE CHAT

 **JUNKRAT:** YOU REMEMBER HOW I TAKE MY COFFEE RIGHT

 **ROADHOG:** yes.

 **JUNKRAT:** OK FANTASTIC

 **REAPER:** right. im sure youll be fine.

 **JUNKRAT:** I DUNNO ABOUT THAT SHE SOUNDED REAL ANGRY WHEN SHE WAS YELLING

 **JUNKRAT:** SAID SOMETHING ABOUT ALL OF US BEING USELESS AND UNTRUSTWORTHY

 **JUNKRAT:** SAID SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT TEARING UP THE PLACE

 **JUNKRAT:** MUCH AS ID LOVE TO HELP HER THIS PLACE IS WHERE I TAKE MY SHOWERS

 **JUNKRAT:** AND I LIKE THOSE

 **JUNKRAT:** ALSO ITS THE PLACE WHERE I EAT

 **JUNKRAT:** AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES

 **JUNKRAT:** AND ALSO SHE SCARES ME A LITTLE

 **REAPER:** a little.

 **JUNKRAT:** OK FINE A LOT

 **MEI:** Good. You should be scared.

 **JUNKRAT:** WHY

 **MEI:** Because she can detect fear. She’ll know you stole her chocolate bar and then she’ll stop being so angry.

 **JUNKRAT:** I DIDNT TAKE HER CHOCOLATE BAR

 **JUNKRAT:** I DONT EVEN LIKE CHOCOLATE

 **GENJI:** How do you not like chocolate

 **GENJI:** I cannot even eat but i know i like chocolate

 **MCCREE:** yeah chocolates good stuff

 **JUNKRAT:** ITS TOO SWEET

 **PHARAH:** Well, living in the irradiated Australian wasteland...

 **JUNKRAT:** KINDA LOWERED MY EATING STANDARDS MATE

 **MCCREE:** i mean alrighty then

 **JUNKRAT:** OH NO SHES COMING

 **JUNKRAT:** THE HEELS CLICKING ARE GETTING LOUDER

 **JUNKRAT:** HIDE ME HOG

 **ROADHOG:** no.

 **ROADHOG:** i’m trying to make coffee.

 **JUNKRAT:** AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **JUNKRAT:** UH OH SHES HERE GOTTA GO BYE

 **MCCREE:** well that was mighty worryin

 **MCCREE:** ...

 **MCCREE:** were just gonna sit here in silence huh

 **GENJI:** Sorry i was talking to the others

 **MCCREE:** wherere you

 **GENJI:** Cafeteria

 **MCCREE:** aint that right next to the kitchen

 **HANZO:** Angela has not come here yet.

 **MCCREE:** oh hey darlin

 **HANZO:** Greetings.

 **GENJI:** She is yelling at the australians

 **GENJI:** She is questioning them

 **GENJI:** Jamison sounds nervous

 **SOLDIER: 76:** do you think she’ll come here next?

 **GENJI:** Without a doubt yes

 **SOLDIER: 76:** shoot. she’s going to suspect me for sure.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** i don’t even like chocolate.

 **MCCREE:** cmon what is up with yalls bad chocolate opinions tonight

 **MCCREE:** hey hanzo whadyou think about chocolate

 **HANZO:** It is good.

 **MCCREE:** now this is why were dating

 **GENJI:** Yes thank you for resolving the bets

 **MCCREE:** oh yeah the bets

 **MCCREE:** who won

 **GENJI:** Fareeha won the first bet

 **GENJI:** She guessed you two would be sleeping together during the party which was accurate

 **MCCREE:** i remember that heh good times

 **MCCREE:** who won the second bet

 **GENJI:** Satya

 **D.VA:** WHAT

 **GENJI:** Good evening hana

 **D.VA:** i forgot all about the bet...

 **GENJI:** I posted it in the betting time chat did you not see

 **D.VA:** hey im a busy gal

 **GENJI:** Well in any case i already transferred to the winners their money

 **SYMMETRA:** Thank you for that, Genji.

 **GENJI:** No problem

 **D.VA:** wow howd you guess when theyd get together

 **SYMMETRA:** Oh, you know men.

 **SYMMETRA:** I just had a feeling.

 **D.VA:** im impressed tbh

 **SYMMETRA:** I appreciate it.

 **D.VA:** also @HERE wheres angie now

 **GENJI:** She is emerging from the kitchen by the sounds of it

 **GENJI:** Oh

 **GENJI:** Shes coming here

 **GENJI:** She has entered the cafeteria

 **GENJI:** Hanzo said hello

 **SOLDIER: 76:** maybe if i don’t make eye contact she won’t bother me.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** ah, shit.

 **GENJI:** My goodness

 **GENJI:** Angela just asked if she could speak to jack privately

 **D.VA:** rip

 **SYMMETRA:** He lived a long life, I am sure.

 **GENJI:** I can still hear her words and shes not whispering very quietly anyway

 **HANZO:** She is unhappy.

 **GENJI:** Omfg

 **GENJI:** ‘I know all about your walking talking dust cloud of a boyfriends chocolate fetish fess up or you WILL regret it morrison’

 **GENJI:** Jack looks so nervous

 **HANZO:** Hm.

 **D.VA:** rip...

 **GENJI:** He stammered some reply and she sighed and now she is leaving

 **GENJI:** Wait she just waved

 **GENJI:** Wave back hanzo

 **HANZO:** I am.

 **GENJI:** Aw she has the prettiest smile

 **GENJI:** Shes not even going to ask us

 **HANZO:** Did we not give her our alibis.

 **GENJI:** Oh yeah true

 **D.VA:** shit i hear her heading here

 **D.VA:** i was just trying to chill in the rec room

 **D.VA:** OH NO SHE SOUNDS MAD

 **D.VA:** IM GONNA MAKE A RUN FOR IT

 **GENJI:** I would advise against it

 **GENJI:** You are only giving her more reason to suspect you

 **D.VA:** I HATE CONFRONTATION LIKE THIS I HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY

 **D.VA:** BYE

 **GENJI:** Ahh youth

 **MCCREE:** poor girl

 **PHARAH:** Who else is in the rec room?

 **ZARYA:** I am here. Hana wanted to play Scrabble.

 **LÚCIO:** i’m here, too. i’ve never played scrabble before and it seemed like it’d be fun. :)

 **LÚCIO:** torb’s here, but he fell asleep partway because he thought the game was boring.

 **LÚCIO:** bastion’s here, and winning.

 **ZARYA:** I do not trust it.

 **LÚCIO:** well, we needed the extra player after torb fell asleep. hana said it’s more fun with four people instead of just three.

 **LÚCIO:** i mean... at the very least, you have to agree scrabble’s more fun with the full group.

 **ZARYA:** Ok, I will agree with that.

 **LÚCIO:** should we continue? hana just sprinted off...

 **BASTION:** 01011001 01100101 01110011 ! ＼(＾▽＾)／

 **GENJI:** It said yes

 **ZARYA:** Presumably because it’s winning.

 **LÚCIO:** well, hana was in fourth place anyway. let’s just say she was disqualified for leaving. :)

 **ZARYA:** It’s your turn, let’s continue.

 **LÚCIO:** hold on, angela’s coming in.

 **ZARYA:** She is asking for Hana.

 **LÚCIO:** hana just left, so...

 **LÚCIO:** isn’t she going to question us?

 **GENJI:** Torbjorn satya winston and reinhardt were working during the time of the crime

 **GENJI:** Bastion was tending to the garden with ganymede and yourself

 **GENJI:** That is what angela has told me

 **LÚCIO:** yeah, it’s really coming along! i’m glad to help out. i think it’s a great place for ganymede to nest. :)

 **GENJI:** Yes i would love to help out myself sometime

 **GENJI:** And as for aleksandra

 **GENJI:** She was with mei

 **ZARYA:** We were out on a date.

 **LÚCIO:** aww, cute.

 **ZARYA:** It was enjoyable.

 **ZARYA:** The doctor is already leaving. Put your next word down.

 **LÚCIO:** i just did! bastion, did you record that?

 **BASTION:** 01011001 01100101 01110011 (*¯︶¯*)

 **LÚCIO:** thanks buddy. :)

 **LÚCIO:** ok, we better focus on this game. the board’s getting filled.

 **GENJI:** Good luck to all of you

 **GENJI:** I suck at scrabble i will not ask for updates

 **LÚCIO:** don’t worry, we’ll tell you who wins. :P

 **MCCREE:** hey im great at scrabble

 **ZARYA:** You cannot put down contractions, cowboy.

 **MCCREE:** nevermind

 **MCCREE:** anyway wheres angie headed now

 **ZARYA:** I am not sure. I did not pay attention to where Hana went, I only told her that Hana left.

 **GENJI:** Hm

 **GENJI:** I dont think hana did it but i can see why angela might assume she took the chocolate

 **MCCREE:** yeah

 **MCCREE:** the girl loves snacks of all kinds

 **MEI:** She stole my bag of shrimp crackers.

 **GENJI:** She stole hanzos kaki seeds

 **HANZO:** She also stole my wasabi peas.

 **MCCREE:** she stole my moon pies

 **SYMMETRA:** She stole my banana chips.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** she stole my corn dogs.

 **WINSTON:** She stole my peanut butter.

 **WINSTON:** Well, only one container, but still.

 **REINHARDT:** she stole my pretzels

 **JUNKRAT:** SHE STOLE MY TIM TAMS

 **ROADHOG:** she stole my sprinkles.

 **GENJI:** Your sprinkles

 **JUNKRAT:** YKNOW HUNDREDS AND THOUSANDS

 **MCCREE:** the lil round ones??

 **ROADHOG:** yes.

 **MCCREE:** you dont just eat those do you

 **JUNKRAT:** COURSE NOT MATE

 **ROADHOG:** you make fairy bread with white bread, sprinkles, and butter.

 **GENJI:** What the heck is that

 **JUNKRAT:** ITS SPRINKLES ON BUTTERED WHITE BREAD

 **MCCREE:** cmon genji

 **GENJI:** Im sorry thats just very strange

 **WINSTON:** Wait, is Angela coming up here?

 **GENJI:** I believe it was her intention to visit the entire base

 **REINHARDT:** but were working.

 **REINHARDT:** somebody make a sign for the door that says ‘knock please’

 **SYMMETRA:** I can hear her coming.

 **WINSTON:** Sigh.

 **WINSTON:** Just get the door before she kicks it down.

 **REINHARDT:** alright

 **GENJI:** Not even you are exempt from suspicion winston

 **MCCREE:** well we all love snacking dont we

 **GENJI:** I cant fucking eat

 **MCCREE:** I MEAN IN GENERAL

 **GENJI:** I know loser

 **REINHARDT:** shes yelling at winston

 **SYMMETRA:** Now she’s yelling at Reinhardt.

 **WINSTON:** And now she’s yelling at Satya.

 **REINHARDT:** she just left

 **REINHARDT:** she seems distressed

 **SYMMETRA:** She must’ve really been looking forward to that chocolate.

 **D.VA:** DID SHE SEE ME

 **WINSTON:** No, Hana.

 **D.VA:** ok good i was hoping the table would shield me well enough

 **SYMMETRA:** Did you take her chocolate bar?

 **REINHARDT:** its ok if you did

 **D.VA:** wtf no ofc not

 **D.VA:** i know which snacks belong to who

 **WINSTON:** Whom*

 **D.VA:** yeah yeah

 **MERCY:** Oh, so you _are_ in that workroom?

 **D.VA:** AGH

 **MERCY:** It appears I must make a return visit to the lab.

 **HANZO:** Hana you fool.

 **GENJI:** Well if she was telling the truth about not having taken the chocolate angela will realize it very quickly

 **REINHARDT:** shes leaving.

 **GENJI:** I told you

 **D.VA:** that was TERRIFYING

 **WINSTON:** You don’t upset the resident doctor, Hana.

 **WINSTON:** She has a very stressful job.

 **D.VA:** yea... good point

 **D.VA:** i guess thisll be funnier in hindsight than it is now

 **SYMMETRA:** Perhaps.

 **REINHARDT:** it definitely will be funnier in hindsight

 **REINHARDT:** things like this have happened before

 **REINHARDT:** the base is torn apart

 **REINHARDT:** put back together

 **REINHARDT:** then a week later it becomes an item of nostalgic memories

 **GENJI:** But at the moment

 **GENJI:** It is terrifying

 **GENJI:** For the rest of you i mean

 **GENJI:** Angela trusts me

 **GENJI:** And hanzo apparently

 **HANZO:** Yes.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** i’ve known her for two decades and she still had to ask me.

 **GENJI:** Well there is trust from friendship time spent together

 **GENJI:** Then there is trust over things like

 **GENJI:** Snacks

 **HANZO:** It’s very serious.

 **GENJI:** Exactly

 **GENJI:** In any case there is one room angela will have to head to next

 **GENJI:** For some reason we all decided to hang out in groups tonight

 **D.VA:** fear

 **MCCREE:** fear is definitely that reason

 **MCCREE:** theres strength in numbers genji

 **GENJI:** Im sure that makes things more convenient for her

 **MERCY:** It does.

 **MERCY:** The commons would be the last room to check.

 **MERCY:** I believe everyone else is in there.

 **MCCREE:** hey angie

 **MCCREE:** you do know who else is in there right now right

 **MCCREE:** i dunno if you wanna interrupt em

 **GENJI:** I am following her

 **HANZO:** She has entered the room her phone is in her pocket.

 **REAPER:** don’t come in here.

 **REAPER:** amelie brought lena. shes carrying her over her shoulder.

 **GENJI:** I can see that

 **HANZO:** Is she.

 **HANZO:** Still asleep.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** looks like it?

 **SOLDIER: 76:** how hasn’t she woken up yet? that just doesn’t look comfortable.

 **HANZO:** Unbelievable.

 **MEI:** She’s been asleep this whole time.

 **MEI:** Anyway, I don’t have to worry about Angela. She knows Zarya and I were out on our date.

 **ZARYA:** :heart:

 **MEI:** :heart:

 **GENJI:** I am very proud of you two for dating

 **D.VA:** yeah you kept it lowkey didnt you

 **MCCREE:** the chat didnt even get to blow up over it

 **PHARAH:** Like it did for yourself and Hanzo, and myself and Angela.

 **MCCREE:** yessirree

 **HANZO:** The chat would’ve found out sooner or later anyway.

 **GENJI:** The group chat learns everything

 **GENJI:** Anyway what did we miss in the commons

 **REAPER:** amelies been chatting with us. smug like.

 **REAPER:** trying to learn more about overwatch i think.

 **GENJI:** What is there to learn from us

 **REAPER:** honestly. nothing much.

 **REAPER:** weve told her about angelas hunt. she seems to think it interesting.

 **REAPER:** i guess it is. but its not exactly sensitive info.

 **GENJI:** It must sound ridiculous contextualized

 **REAPER:** oh yeah.

 **MEI:** It seems that Angela has found out... nobody took her chocolate bar?

 **MEI:** It didn’t just grow legs and walk away.

 **MCCREE:** yeah and angie wouldnt lose somethin like that

 **MERCY:** But where could it have _gone?_

 **JUNKRAT:** MAYBE YOU ATE IT

 **MERCY:** I didn’t eat it. I was saving it for this weekend.

 **MERCY:** Out of anything I might’ve lost track of or forgotten, trust me when I say this is not one of them.

 **PHARAH:** Angela takes her treats seriously.

 **MERCY:** Yes, I do.

 **MERCY:** Which is why my missing chocolate bar is perplexing to me.

 **D.VA:** maybe ganymede took it

 **BASTION:** 01101110 01101111 ! (〒﹏〒)

 **GENJI:** It said ‘no’

 **GENJI:** Anyway the bird wouldnt have been able to get into the locker pantry drawer

 **MERCY:** Yes, it’s locked with a code, remember?

 **SOLDIER: 76:** the 4-digit pin?

 **MERCY:** Ja. 

**REAPER:** hold on. i have a theory.

 **REAPER:** its far fetched because i dont keep tabs on people. but. whatever. better than guessing the bird.

 **D.VA:** thats rude pops

 **REAPER:** do you still use the same one.

 **MERCY:** The same code? I’ve never changed it.

 **REAPER:** and why not.

 **MERCY:** Because I have some trust in you people! If you do remember my code from the old Overwatch days, that doesn’t mean you’d break into my storage space.

 **REAPER:** not saying any of us here would. you questioned us plenty.

 **MERCY:** Then what _are_ you saying?

 **PHARAH:** Yes, Reyes, what are you saying?

 **REAPER:** oh youd know. wouldnt you fareeha.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** you mean...

 **REAPER:** no shit thats what i mean.

 **REAPER:**  we survived a load of bullshit didnt we.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** but we haven’t seen her in months.

 **REAPER:** she’d come back.

 **REAPER:** so fareeha.

 **REAPER:** confirm it.

 **PHARAH:** ...

 **MERCY:** Gabriel, what are you talking about?

 **GENJI:** Oh angela

 **MCCREE:** oh angie

 **WINSTON:** Oh, Dr. Ziegler.

 **REINHARDT:** oh angela.

 **MERCY:** Please, somebody explain.

 **PHARAH:** I don’t... I don’t know if I’m at liberty to.

 **REAPER:** then neither am i.

 **REAPER:** wouldnt want to sound stupid.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** you’re doing a bad job right now.

 **REAPER:** rude.

 **GENJI:** Hilarious

 **MERCY:** Seriously, just tell me what Gabriel’s talking about! I don’t care if he’s right about whatever it is or not!

 **MERCY:** You’d think he’s trying to bring back the dead or something by the way you’re all patronizing me!

 **TRACER:** Is that not something you can do,  chérie?  ****

**MERCY:** Well...

 **AMARI:** lmao im tired of watching this drama i took the fucking chocolate bar

 **AMARI:** aint letting lacroix hog the spotlight any longer

 **AMARI:** anyway

 **AMARI:** sup losers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ edit; next log is gonna be hallowe'en but i'm gonna be slow on it because i'm playing the brawl and trying to level i'm at 268 right now and i am VERY ready for my next 69, it's something to be proud of for each prestige


	29. LOG 15: PART 1/5: HALLOWE'EN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hanzo here, i'll be posting the fic now. fixing titles with numbers and adding translations after. sit tight. 
> 
> a little late on the hallowe'en log thing, but i hope i make up for it by introducing our favourite terrible arg creator
> 
> hover for translations as usual //

**\-- GENJI renamed group from ANGELA IS FUCKING PISSED to HALLOWE’EN PARTY + CONTESTS 2076 --**

**LÚCIO:** wow, can’t believe it’s finally october.

**D.VA:** happy halloween!!

**LÚCIO:** it’s october 1st...

**D.VA:** happy halloween!!!!!!!!!!!

**D.VA:** so what does overwatch do to celebrate

**GENJI:** What does it not do

**MCCREE:** well theres a party

**D.VA:** god i like those

**MERCY:** Costumes are mandatory.

**MERCY:** There will be a costume contest, of course.

**TRACER:** we judge hard ;P

**REAPER:** someone has to do the decorations.

**GENJI:** It was usually you

**REAPER:** im not part of overwatch.

**GENJI:** But nobody does them as well as you do

**TRACER:** haha can you imagine us taking gabriel “halloween is my life” reyes’ job?

**MERCY:** I  _ can _ imagine it because once, he was on a mission for most of October.

**MCCREE:** aint that the one year gerard handled decorations

**WIDOWMAKER:** It’s Gérard.

**REAPER:** we dont talk about gerards year.

**MCCREE:** what the hell

**WINSTON:** Why are YOU here?

**WIDOWMAKER:** I took Lena’s other phone and signed into Gérard’s account. 

**AMARI:** he never changed that shit lol

**WINSTON:** And how did you change your name?

**WIDOWMAKER:** I borrowed Genji’s phone.

**WIDOWMAKER:** In exchange for leaving him and Gabriel alone for ten minutes.

**WINSTON:** Genji...

**GENJI:** She was so fucking annoying im sorry

**WIDOWMAKER:** Anyway - for some reason, the phone had DNA confirmation turned off. and I already knew the password, of course.

**WINSTON:** Lena...

**TRACER:** sorry! i didnt wanna accidentally sign out and have to go through the scanner again!

**WINSTON:** All you have to do is stand still. Then it processes you.

**TRACER:** well its a pain!  >:(

**GENJI:** Better than having a talon member in our chat

**WIDOWMAKER:** Gabriel is here.

**GENJI:** But he freelances

**REAPER:** but i freelance.

**REAPER:** see. genji gets it.

**HANZO:** This is a shameful breach in security.

**TRACER:** look im sorry loves!!

**TRACER:** but maybe we can use this to learn about talon?

**WIDOWMAKER:** Bonne chance, chérie.  ****

**MCCREE:** damn snooty french assholes

**WIDOWMAKER:** Disgusting Americans.

**MCCREE:** rude

**REAPER:** rude.

**SOLDIER: 76:** rude.

**MERCY:** Hahaha.

**PHARAH:** Good one.

**GENJI:** Hilarious

**HANZO:** Very.

**TORBJÖRN:** Haha!

**ZARYA:** Xaxaxa.

**WINSTON:** Very, very funny.

**JUNKRAT:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**LÚCIO:** ha! :)

**AMARI:** lmao

**SYMMETRA:** Amazing.

**REINHARDT:** hah

**MEI:** Good one!

**TRACER:** pffft!!!!

**ROADHOG:** wow.

**ZENYATTA:** I’m amused.

**PHARAH:** @WINSTON: Just terminate the account.

**TRACER:** nooo thatd get my phone blown up :(

**PHARAH:** What??

**WINSTON:** Safety feature.

**WINSTON:** Got a little out of control.

**PHARAH:** That’s ridiculous.

**WIDOWMAKER:** Put me in your roster.

**WINSTON:** And... why should I do that?

**WIDOWMAKER:** I have no missions for the whole month and I’m bored.

**WINSTON:** Sounds like a bad idea.

**TRACER:** oh just let her in before she calls a talon raid on all of us :/

**WINSTON:** She doesn’t know where we are.

**WIDOWMAKER:** I know.

**WINSTON:** ...

**WINSTON:** That’s not very threatening.

**REAPER:** sombra told you.

**WIDOWMAKER:** Oui. ****

**WINSTON:** I’ll add you to the roster.

**WIDOWMAKER:** Merci.

* * *

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @D.VA & @LÚCIO --**

**D.VA:** so, got any costume ideas?

**LÚCIO:** hmm... a few, but i’m not sure which to work on? maybe something simple would be best.

**LÚCIO:** you?

**D.VA:** ill probably do something simple too

**D.VA:** but ill work hard on the costume so its still good and i have a shot at the contest win

**D.VA:** heard what the prize is?

**LÚCIO:** nope, is it good?

**D.VA:** i have no idea but i think it might be the allowance to keep a pet in base

**LÚCIO:** whoa.

**LÚCIO:** technically, bastion already has a pet, though. :)

**D.VA:** pfft shes its friend

**D.VA:** but you do have a point there

**LÚCIO:** i wonder if they’d let us keep pets if we brought up ganymede.

**D.VA:** it’s an idea...

* * *

**\-- HALLOWE’EN PARTY + CONTESTS 2076 --**

**AMARI:** anyway whatve i missed in the past many years

**GENJI:** A lot

**GENJI:** Have you kept up with the chat

**AMARI:** eh here and there

**AMARI:** it got pretty busy so i didnt bother most of the time

**MCCREE:** fair enough

**AMARI:** ahh jesse

**AMARI:** i missed you so much

**MCCREE:** i missed you too ana

**MCCREE:** its nice to have you back

**AMARI:** thanks

**AMARI:** i noticed youre still as dishevelled as before

**AMARI:** maybe even more so now

**AMARI:** without gabe to groom you 

**MCCREE:** aw cmon ana

**AMARI:** whens the last time you washed your hand jesse

**MCCREE:** WH

**MCCREE:** five minutes ago

**AMARI:** hm really

**MCCREE:** yes maam

**AMARI:** what for

**MCCREE:** dinner

**AMARI:** oh nice i ordered from the food port in my room

**AMARI:** whatd you eat

**MCCREE:** uh

**GENJI:** Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

**MCCREE:** shut up genji

**AMARI:** what was it genji

**GENJI:** Ass

**AMARI:** wow

**MCCREE:** genji for christs sake

**GENJI:** Sorry jesse but she asked

**AMARI:** are you two sleeping together

**GENJI:** Not really

**GENJI:** I am still dating gabe and sort of dating jack

**AMARI:** did you just call him ‘gabe’

**AMARI:** yknow he always went on about how itd take him two lifetimes to get you to call him something other than captain reyes or reyes

**GENJI:** So i have been told

**AMARI:** its kinda cute tbh

**AMARI:** im proud of you two

**AMARI:** or three i guess

**REAPER:** thanks.

**AMARI:** i am NOT proud of your new look

**AMARI:** im sure you worked very hard on the outfit and all and it looks well put together

**AMARI:** but i literally saw you once across the hall out of the corner of my eye as you were entering genjis room

**AMARI:** and i felt like i was just

**AMARI:** punched with pure edge

**AMARI:** the fucking skull mask

**REAPER:** its not a skull.

**REAPER:** its a barn owl mask.

**AMARI:** oh

**REAPER:** you know. symbol of death.

**AMARI:** half redeemed but just barely

**AMARI:** you still have stupid spiked gloves with claws

**AMARI:** i dont even know whats going on with your shoulder pauldrons

**AMARI:** and your fucking cape

**AMARI:** god

**AMARI:** i cant believe you

**REAPER:** i like my cape.

**REAPER:** what do you have against it.

**AMARI:** we spent literal hours together insulting jacks stupid outfit

**AMARI:** and you fucking

**AMARI:** you modelled your ‘new’ outfit after his strike commander getup

**REAPER:** i didnt model it after jacks outfit. i designed it myself.

**AMARI:** yeah well you were clearly inspired by jack

**AMARI:** unsurprising

**GENJI:** And gay

**MCCREE:** real gay

**AMARI:** that too

**SOLDIER: 76:** hey, my strike commander getup wasn’t all that bad.

**AMARI:** it was fine

**AMARI:** my captain outfit was pretty similar

**REAPER:** we just liked making fun of you.

**AMARI:** correction: i like making fun of people

**AMARI:** period

**SOLDIER: 76:** what was wrong with the outfit?

**REAPER:** cape. apparently.

**AMARI:** it was fine jack 

**AMARI:** flashy but fine

**SOLDIER: 76:** how was it flashy?

**MCCREE:** jack cmon now

**MCCREE:** the armor was REALLY shiny

**AMARI:** yeah the chestplate and gauntlet things and

**AMARI:** heh

**AMARI:** shoulder pads

**REAPER:** oh boy. the shoulder pads.

**AMARI:** we went on for a solid hour about the shoulder pads alone

**AMARI:** oh and the eyepiece

**AMARI:** we brought that up so many times

**REAPER:** yeah.

**AMARI:** gotta love the eyepiece communicator

**AMARI:** classic jack

**REAPER:** classic jack.

**SOLDIER: 76:** i can’t believe you two insulted me behind my back.

**AMARI:** hey

**AMARI:** we also insulted you to your face

**AMARI:** it just so happened that you didnt listen

**SOLDIER: 76:** there were more important things to worry about than your harmless jabs.

**AMARI:** never change jack

**SOLDIER: 76:** i have changed. we’ve all changed, ana.

**REAPER:** youre hardly speaking to jack and gabriel at this point.

**AMARI:** yeah whatever

**AMARI:** i bet its just genji keeping you two grounded

**REAPER:** shut up.

**AMARI:** knew it

**GENJI:** I try

**AMARI:** and you succeed because they havent killed each other yet

**GENJI:** Thank you captain amari

* * *

**\-- HALLOWE’EN PARTY + CONTESTS 2076 --**

**PHARAH:** The decorations look good.

**REAPER:** thanks.

**PHARAH:** Did you put them all up yourself?

**REAPER:** i had help.

**LÚCIO:** i helped. :)

**ZENYATTA:** I had some spare time to help out, as well.

**ZARYA:** Myself as well.

**MEI:** I helped, it was fun! Gabriel bought so many... things.

**REAPER:** theyre all necessary.

**MEI:** I don’t think the giant skeleton animatronic was necessary.

**REAPER:** which one.

**MEI:** ...There are multiple?

**REAPER:** yeah.

**MEI:** Gabriel, why.

**REAPER:** necessary.

**MEI:** If you ask me, it does not sound very necessary.

**REAPER:** necessary.

**TRACER:** thats the spirit ;P

**TRACER:** cant say i like them much though!

**WIDOWMAKER:** That’s because you were startled by one when you were descending the stairs.

**TRACER:** HEY

**TRACER:** it just

**TRACER:** popped up!! i wasnt expecting it!!!

**WIDOWMAKER:** Of course.

**PHARAH:** That was you who was startled by the dancing skeleton?

**PHARAH:** That explains the scream.

**TRACER:** i didnt know it was there :(

**PHARAH:** I heard you from across the base.

**TRACER:** from... across the base

**PHARAH:** Yes.

**MEI:** (I think she’s being hyperbolic.)

**PHARAH:** Yes. ^

**TRACER:** oh

**TRACER:** well that makes more sense

**TRACER:** cause i figured you werent that far away if you heard

**TRACER:** more likely you were in angies room ;P

**PHARAH:** Hey.

**MCCREE:** hey

**PHARAH:** Not now, Jesse.

**MCCREE:** yall do that to me all the time

**PHARAH:** We still love you.

**GENJI:** ‘We’

**REAPER:** ‘we’.

**SOLDIER: 76:** ‘we’?

**MCCREE:** oh screw yall

**MCCREE:** i have hanzo

**HANZO:** Yes.

**MCCREE:** see? I aint need the rest of you

**GENJI:** Oh hanzo do not be soft in the group chat

**GENJI:** You and jesse may have just slept together but you can still be mean to him

**GENJI:** In fact that means you can be meaner

**HANZO:** What.

**GENJI:** Thats the spirit

**GENJI:** Anyway

**GENJI:** Who is on snack duty @WINSTON

**WINSTON:** They’ve been notified.

**GENJI:** Wait what so im not on the party food supply list

**WINSTON:** Uh... no, it seems not.

**GENJI:** Wow i am wounded

**WINSTON:** You have the week to relax instead of worrying about the party, isn’t that reward enough?

**GENJI:** What about booze committee

**WINSTON:** Dr. Ziegler and your brother are on it.

**GENJI:** Damn

**GENJI:** Oh well i can focus on my costume

**WINSTON:** That’s the spirit.

**GENJI:** Aaaand

**GENJI:** There i just ordered it

**GENJI:** Thank you one-day shipping from amazon

**PHARAH:** What is it?

**GENJI:** No spoilers

**PHARAH:** I’m curious, Genji.

**GENJI:** You can find out at the party

**GENJI:** There is a costume contest and i refuse to have my idea stolen

**MERCY:** Gabriel usually takes the crown.

**REAPER:** undefeated costume contest champion right here.

**REAPER:** i had a good streak going. but liao beat me one year.

**MERCY:** I almost beat you the year I had my witch costume.

**REAPER:** yeah. really knocked it out of the park.

**MERCY:** Second to Reyes the pumpking. Good enough for me.

**REAPER:** who knows. we might have a new winner this year.

**WINSTON:** You’re not part of Overwatch, you can’t participate in the contest.

**REAPER:** shit.

**REAPER:** can i still come to the party.

**WINSTON:** Well, considering the fact that you decorated the whole base, it’d be rude not to let you come.

**PHARAH:** Wouldn’t you come anyway?

**REAPER:** yes.

**PHARAH:** Then why ask?

**REAPER:** courtesy. i guess.

**MERCY:** @WINSTON; Who’s on food committee? 

**WINSTON:** According to the spreadsheet... @SYMMETRA, @TORBJÖRN, @TRACER.

**MERCY:** Remember to get chocolate.

**TRACER:** yes maam :P

**SYMMETRA:** What kind would you like, Dr. Ziegler?

**MERCY:** I don’t care, as long as it’s high quality and well-tempered.

**TORBJÖRN:** We’ll keep that in mind.

**MERCY:** Thank you.

**MERCY:** This is very important.

**AMARI:** yeah lets not have a repeat of the chocolate theft fiasco lol

**JUNKRAT:** AGREED


	30. LOG 15: PART 2/5: HALLOWE'EN

**\-- BEST OVERWATCH THREESOME CHAT --**

**GENJI:** So are we excited for halloween

**GENJI:** Of course we are

**REAPER:** very.

**SOLDIER: 76:** i’m still not sure what to dress up as.

**SOLDIER: 76:** i don’t have to dress up, do i?

**REAPER:** dont let me down like this jack. i cant participate in the contest. which i guess is fair. but you can.

**REAPER:** which means you have a shot at the crown.

**REAPER:** it feels good having that crown jack.

**GENJI:** I can see how that would be the case

**SOLDIER: 76:** i’m sure i’ll think of something in time.

**GENJI:** Halloween is in less than a week

**GENJI:** You have little time to plan

**SOLDIER: 76:** it can’t be that hard to pick a decent costume.

**GENJI:** Well i will be buying something new for mine

**GENJI:** I am not good at making costumes like gabe

**GENJI:** But i have money to throw around so

**REAPER:** im sure it looks great.

**GENJI:** Thank you dear

**GENJI:** I cant wait to see what jack puts together

**SOLDIER: 76:** i’ll think of SOMETHING. just you wait.

**SOLDIER: 76:** maybe i’ll even win the contest.

**REAPER:** maybe.

**GENJI:** We shall see

* * *

**\-- HALLOWE’EN PARTY + CONTESTS 2076 --**

**WINSTON:** The party’s really coming together. Good work, everyone!

**REAPER:** youre welcome.

**MCCREE:** thanks for the decorations gabriel

**REAPER:** had nothing better to do.

**REAPER:** didnt think anyone else could do a decent job.

**GENJI:** Decent perhaps

**GENJI:** But you always go above and beyond for this holiday

**REAPER:** is that a crime.

**GENJI:** No its fantastic

**GENJI:** I wouldnt care for it otherwise

**REAPER:** thanks. :heart:

**GENJI:** :heart:

**MCCREE:** genreaper gays aside

**MCCREE:** im managing media

**MCCREE:** so @EVERYONE remember to send me your tunes and movies and stuff

**GENJI:** Did you just call us genreaper

**MCCREE:** yeah

**MCCREE:** i heard hanzo say it once

**MCCREE:** i think he was just too lazy to refer to your relationship as both your full names

**REAPER:** so he just. made a portmanteau.

**MCCREE:** yup

**MCCREE:** hes called yall genreyes before too

**GENJI:** @HANZO; Why

**GENJI:** I am not upset merely curious

**HANZO:** Lazy.

**REAPER:** figured.

**D.VA:** i cant believe hanzo uses fucking ship names

**GENJI:** Hana please

**D.VA:** im just kidding

**D.VA:** its your relationship but that IS a ship name

**D.VA:** you cant deny that

**GENJI:** Fair enough i suppose

**REAPER:** and the others.

**D.VA:** oh yeah them too

**D.VA:** i was talking about this with fareeha

**PHARAH:** Pharmercy.

**D.VA:** get it?

**D.VA:** it’s a pun

**TRACER:** like... pharmacy??

**D.VA:** yeah!

**PHARAH:** Yes, exactly.

**MERCY:** I’m charmed.

**PHARAH:** :)

**MERCY:** :heart:

**HANZO:** Zaryamei.

**PHARAH:** Not very creative, but functional.

**D.VA:** zarmei

**D.VA:** hmm who else

**HANZO:** Reaper 76.

**D.VA:** hanzo your names are no fun

**PHARAH:** But they are functional.

**D.VA:** yeah thats fair enough

**D.VA:** got one for luci and jamie? ;)

**PHARAH:** Are they together?

**D.VA:** i think so

**D.VA:** maybe i shouldnt talk about it in the group chat...

**MCCREE:** yeah like the gossip hub aint gonna find out about it sooner or later anyway

**D.VA:** hey im just sayin pops!!!

**D.VA:** just MAYBE we oughta respect each others’ privacy sometimes?????

**TRACER:** maybe :P

**MCCREE:** yeah well now i wanna hear about the two of em

**MCCREE:** cause thats what we do here right

**MCCREE:** talk about each other

**MERCY:** Your lot has made it a point to discuss your sexual relationships, as well.

**GENJI:** Sorry angela

**MERCY:** It’s okay, Genji. I wasn’t trying to shame you or anything.

**MERCY:** Merely making a statement.

**REAPER:** well. youre not wrong.

**MERCY:** I am aware of this.

**SOLDIER: 76:** sorry, angela.

**MERCY:** Why are you apologizing to me?

**SOLDIER: 76:** seemed the right thing to do, i guess.

**GENJI:** Youve suffered so much because of us

**MERCY:** Okay.

**MERCY:** Well.

**MERCY:** You’re not wrong.

**SYMMETRA:** We have all suffered greatly.

**SYMMETRA:** As entertaining as your stories are, there is a time for them.

**GENJI:** Yes that is fair

**SOLDIER: 76:** what are you proposing, satya?

**SYMMETRA:** Nothing radical.

**SYMMETRA:** I recommend that you keep your less family-friendly stories confined to the ‘past midnight’ timeslot.

**GENJI:** We already do that

**GENJI:** For the most part

**GENJI:** I guess

**GENJI:** Technically all hours are past midnight

**MCCREE:** oh my lord genji

**GENJI:** Do i not have a point jesse

**MCCREE:** well

**MCCREE:** yaint wrong

**SYMMETRA:** I am glad we can almost agree.

**REAPER:** very funny.

**REAPER:** i need to go back to working on my costume.

**GENJI:** Good luck dear

**REAPER:** thanks. :heart:

**SOLDIER: 76:** i should do that, too...

**D.VA:** are you not ready for halloween pops

**SOLDIER: 76:** i’m working on it.

**D.VA:** well if you dont get to it soon youll be rushing tomorrow and thatll suck

**MERCY:** You’ll have to buy your costume.

**D.VA:** yeah youre gonna end up dressing in one of those skimpy little things hahaha

**D.VA:** come in something COOL

**D.VA:** something id be proud to take a selfie with you in!!

**SOLDIER: 76:** i’ll try to keep that in mind.

**SOLDIER: 76:** and stop taking candids of me. you always get my worst angles and it’s annoying.

**D.VA:** :)

* * *

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @D.VA & @LÚCIO --**

**LÚCIO:** hey!

**D.VA:** yo

**D.VA:** hows your costume coming along?

**LÚCIO:** it’s nothing special, but i was painting one of the accessories earlier. my hands are covered in orange paint.

**D.VA:** damn is it safe??

**LÚCIO:** yeah, it’s nontoxic.

**LÚCIO:** i was grocery shopping with hanzo, but it also turned into a supply run. he picked up a few sewing things, i think.

**LÚCIO:** he was with me when i got the paint, and was VERY firm in telling me to get nontoxic paint.

**LÚCIO:** scarily so.

**D.VA:** hahaha thats hanzo for you

**LÚCIO:** right?

**LÚCIO:** anyway, my costume’s done. i’ve got some prep to do before the party, but by then, it’ll be considered safe for people to know each others’ costumes.

**D.VA:** ill help you out if you need it

**LÚCIO:** thanks, i might!

**LÚCIO:** any guesses on what the others are going as?

**D.VA:** nope ive been working on my own

**D.VA:** i wanted to try my hand at sewing

**D.VA:** it did NOT go well

**LÚCIO:** well, you live and you learn. :)

**D.VA:** true that!!

**D.VA:** im putting the finishing touches on the outfit but i think ill need to re-sew some shabby parts

**D.VA:** anyway everyones been too secretive

**D.VA:** they take this contest VERY seriously

**D.VA:** even us newbies are taking it very seriously

**LÚCIO:** man... i wonder what the prize is?

**D.VA:** fuck i dont even remember if they mentioned it

**D.VA:** out of all the things to forget

**D.VA:** dammit

**LÚCIO:** well, it’s gotta be good, if they’re so excited...

**D.VA:** yeah i cant wait tbh

**D.VA:** im sure the partys gonna be great too

**LÚCIO:** oh yeah, the last one was a blast. 

**LÚCIO:** these people love their days off.

**D.VA:** hahaha can you blame them

**D.VA:** parties are more fun than fighting

**LÚCIO:** very true. sometimes we just need to relax. :)

**D.VA:** like right now trying to fix this stupid robe

**D.VA:** wish me luck

**LÚCIO:** good luck!

**D.VA:** wait before i get back to sewing

**D.VA:** any luck on getting pets in here

**LÚCIO:** no dice. angie  _ did _ tell genji yes, but that was a spur of the moment thing.

**LÚCIO:** i’ve been trying to look for ways to sneak things in. it’s not as easy as it seems, because athena’s aware of what comes in and out of the facility.

**LÚCIO:** we’ll have to play it smarter.

**D.VA:** like genji did to sneak gabe and jackie in???

**LÚCIO:** actually, yeah!

**LÚCIO:** gabi isn’t supposed to be here, but he’s always hanging around anyway. 

**LÚCIO:** i don’t think athena will go for the same promise genji made her, because he’s already working on it.

**D.VA:** saw him trying to get winston to eat a salad yesterday

**D.VA:** he ate it just to shut genji up

**LÚCIO:** but that means what genji’s doing is working.

**D.VA:** sneaky bastard

**D.VA:** we should just ask him how to do it im sure hell be up for the task

**LÚCIO:** and i know jesse would love a dog.

**D.VA:** really? not surprising but talk to me about it

**LÚCIO:** heard him talking to hanzo in the caf earlier.

**LÚCIO:** he was all ‘man i want a dog, yeehaw, y’all’.

**D.VA:** sounds about right

**D.VA:** lets gather the people who really want allowance to have pets in base

**D.VA:** theyre so distracted by halloween im sure they wont mind our weird questions

**D.VA:** people who love animals tend to like talking about them anyway

**LÚCIO:** anyone have allergies?

**D.VA:** i asked gabe to ask his friend to help and he said she didnt find anything

**D.VA:** some people have issues with dust but the facility is pretty big and the ventilations good

**LÚCIO:** alright, good to hear. i wouldn’t want anyone’s allergies to flare up because of us.

**D.VA:** we should make the rounds after i fix my robe

**LÚCIO:** roger that.

* * *

**\-- HALLOWE’EN PARTY + CONTESTS 2076 --**

**MCCREE:** just about done my costume

**MCCREE:** how bout yall

**GENJI:** Mine was ready yesterday

**GENJI:** It was easy

**MCCREE:** like you

**GENJI:** True

**TRACER:** mine arrived yesterday too!

**TRACER:** its really comfy :P

**MERCY:** I based mine off of an old video game. It turned out nice.

**TRACER:** good to hear love!

**TRACER:** @WIDOWMAKER: you coming to the party?

**WIDOWMAKER:** Oui. 

**TRACER:** even though you got a reputation as a party crasher?

**WIDOWMAKER:** Free chocolate. there is no reason for me to ruin the fun. I will be participating.

**TRACER:** @WINSTON: does she get to join the contest? :)

**WINSTON:** All attendees are permitted to join the costume contest.

**WINSTON:** Not my rule, it was @REAPER who determined the Hallowe’en party rules years ago.

**REAPER:** correct.

**REAPER:** i had to go back and check. i wanted to join the costume contest. but yes. i did the rules list.

**TRACER:** oh yeah you are the king of halloween after all ;P

**REAPER:** also correct.

**WINSTON:** I had help from Athena on my costume. It’s going to be a joint effort.

**PHARAH:** I bought mine.

**PHARAH:** Very expensive. But very worth it.

**ZARYA:** I worked on mine myself, and I’m satisfied with it.

**MEI:** Same here. :)

**ZARYA:** We will be matching.

**TRACER:** cute!!

**JUNKRAT:** FINISHED MY COSTUME LAST WEEK

**JUNKRAT:** ROADHOG HELPED

**ROADHOG:** i helped.

**JUNKRAT:** THIS IS WHAT I PAY YOU FOR

**ROADHOG:** ok.

**JUNKRAT:** WERE GONNA BE MATCHING

**TRACER:** sounds good :)

**TRACER:** we didnt really have many matching costumes in the past

**SOLDIER: 76:** too much secrecy. people wanted to have their own thing to stand out in the contest.

**REAPER:** it was an overwatch thing.

**MCCREE:** i dunno the blackwatch halloween bash was pretty great

**REAPER:** true.

**TRACER:** you had your own party??

**MCCREE:** yeah

**MCCREE:** sometimes before or after the ‘regular’ overwatch party

**MCCREE:** depending on what time it was scheduled for

**MERCY:** So that’s why you were always late.

**REAPER:** no. i just like adjusting my costume before the party.

**REAPER:** theres always something i can touch up.

**MERCY:** Fair enough, I suppose.

**MEI:** I can’t wait to see everyone’s costumes. :)

**REINHARDT:** same

**REINHARDT:** is anyone streaming the night?

**D.VA:** yep

**TRACER:** ill be recording!

**GENJI:** As will i

**GENJI:** Both my visor stream and hanas stream will be accessible in the #streaming channel

**GENJI:** Feel free to view the party however youd like at your leisure

**REINHARDT:** remember to record

**REINHARDT:** all of you.

**D.VA:** sure pops

**GENJI:** Sure pops

**REINHARDT:** the overwatch halloween parties are always worth rewatching

**GENJI:** Last non holiday party was also rather entertaining

**D.VA:** yeah but we didnt dress up for it

**GENJI:** Speak for yourself i looked good and continue to do so

**D.VA:** but you dont wear clothes

**REAPER:** his metal plating isnt attached to him.

**D.VA:** oh shit what

**D.VA:** i didnt know that

**GENJI:** Well i try to remain decent around the rest of you people

**D.VA:** but the plating doesnt even cover all of your body

**D.VA:** i mean i GUESS thats your body

**GENJI:** Yes the brownish fibers are technically my body now

**D.VA:** wait wait

**D.VA:** so what youre tellin me

**D.VA:** the metal plating is some kind of cyborg lingerie???????

**MERCY:** :)

**D.VA:** i cant believe this


	31. LOG 15: PART 3/5: HALLOWE'EN

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @D.VA & @LÚCIO --**

**D.VA:** talked to genji just now

 **LÚCIO:** good. status report?

 **D.VA:** he gave some tips that i think we might be able to like

 **D.VA:** actually use

 **D.VA:** which is fantastic

 **D.VA:** anyway heres the list

 **D.VA:** people whod definitely help us out: genji, jesse, lena, jamie, mei, rein, ana, satya

 **D.VA:** people who might help out: torb, zenny, mako, bastion

 **D.VA:** and our obstacles: winston, mercy

 **D.VA:** not sure about gabe... hes annoyingly cryptic

 **D.VA:** jackies stern when i ask him but i feel like hes not telling me the whole truth hes just trying to maintain some sense of authority over the matter

 **D.VA:** anas neutral but would be willing to help and satya said shed be willing to help if i asked :heart:

 **LÚCIO:** gay!

 **D.VA:** shut up!!!!!!!!!!!

 **D.VA:** ANYWAY

 **D.VA:** genji alluded to hanzo having pets but i didnt get the chance to question him further

 **D.VA:** asked him about sneak strats and forgot to ask if hanzo would be willing to help or not

 **LÚCIO:** ask him now?

 **D.VA:** i think hes busy

 **LÚCIO:** he’s a cyborg, can’t he just keep the chat process open?

 **LÚCIO:** wait, when you say ‘busy’, do you mean...?

 **D.VA:** i just messaged him hes not busy anymore

 **LÚCIO:** oh, okay.

 **D.VA:** uhh

 **D.VA:** ok yeah hanzo has pets

 **D.VA:** genji said not to get our hopes up though

 **D.VA:** to copy paste his exact words

 **D.VA:** GENJI: Hanzo is not the helpful type

GENJI: I would not rule out the possibility though

GENJI: But i am not sure how willing he would be to help simply because he is lazy

GENJI: And even if jack winston and angela allowed pets in the base

GENJI: Well

GENJI: Hanzo knows it would still not be easy to convince them to allow his own pets in base

GENJI: Our dragons dont count

GENJI: Theyre attached to us

 **LÚCIO:** that’s kind of menacing. what pets does hanzo even have?

 **D.VA:** no idea

 **D.VA:** i just asked but genjis not replying and hes on busy as of this second

 **D.VA:** welp

 **LÚCIO:** dang.

 **LÚCIO:** well, he’s been helpful. that’s good enough for now.

 **D.VA:** i kinda wanna know

 **D.VA:** damn it whyd he have to get busy right after replying

 **LÚCIO:** let’s not worry about it.

 **D.VA:** yeah we have bigger stuff to focus on

 **LÚCIO:** gabi has pets, i asked him. but he’s not with overwatch, so i’m not sure if he’d care all that much.

 **D.VA:** genji cares

 **D.VA:** he cares about genji

 **D.VA:** its that simple

 **LÚCIO:** okay, true. let’s put him under the ‘will help’ section.

 **LÚCIO:** the facility’s pretty big, and overwatch isn’t an official thing anymore...

 **LÚCIO:** what do you think?

 **D.VA:** i maintain the stance ive had all along

 **D.VA:** we gotta try luci

 **D.VA:** we gotta try for my cat and your dogs and everyone elses pets

 **LÚCIO:** i miss them so much!

 **LÚCIO:** now you’ve got me all hopeful, haha.

 **D.VA:** we can do it!!

 **D.VA:** i know it doesnt seem likely because this is like

 **D.VA:** a military base or whatever

 **D.VA:** but were not housing anywhere close to the number of people who used to stay here when overwatch was huge

 **D.VA:** i only know that cause angie told me

 **D.VA:** but yeah

 **D.VA:** why not make good use of the extra space?

 **LÚCIO:** alright, yeah, let’s get some stuff done.

 **D.VA:** do it for my cat gameboy the master of munchkin kitty fluff

 **D.VA:** do it for your doggggsssssssss

 **D.VA:** do it for lil lucia and fausto and

 **D.VA:** uh

 **D.VA:** what was your other dogs name again??

 **LÚCIO:** beetroot, or beet for short. :)

 **D.VA:** thats not portugese

 **D.VA:** whyd you name him beet

 **D.VA:** thats not even a good vegetable

 **LÚCIO:** ok, this is kind of embarrassing, but...

 **LÚCIO:** i grew up with cats, right?

 **LÚCIO:** you know how cats are really nimble and stuff? they can fall from pretty far up, and still land on their feet like nothing happened. that kind of thing. beet’s my first dog.

 **D.VA:** yes

 **LÚCIO:** when i was a kid, i liked to pick our cats up. they were chill and didn’t mind.

 **LÚCIO:** sometimes they’d want to get out of my grip or i didn’t have a good hold on them, and i could just let go, and they’d land on their paws completely fine.

 **D.VA:** yes

 **LÚCIO:** ok, so beet was a stray when i found him. i think he was abandoned, because he wasn’t scared of me or anything. it broke my heart, because he was just a puppy. maybe around 8 months old.

 **D.VA:** :(

 **LÚCIO:** he was getting settled in my apartment. shy, but he opened up soon enough, which was nice. :)

 **LÚCIO:** anyway, i picked him up about a week after i got him, and he was squirming to get out of my grip. so out of habit, i let go.

 **D.VA:** OH NO

 **LÚCIO:** YEAH.

 **LÚCIO:** i... dropped him.

 **D.VA:** YOU DID NOT

 **LÚCIO:** i did!

 **LÚCIO:** i didn’t know!

 **D.VA:** YOU DROPPED A DOG

 **LÚCIO:** he was fine after, just a little upset. i really didn’t know that dogs... couldn’t land on their paws like cats. i don’t know, i guess i just assumed?

 **D.VA:** WAIT WAIT WAIT

 **D.VA:** SO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME

 **D.VA:** YOU

 **D.VA:** DROPPED THE BEET

 **LÚCIO:** :)

 **D.VA:** OHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

 **D.VA:** ㄷㅊ  ****

**D.VA:** I CANT BELIEVE YOU

 **D.VA:** YOUR DOGS NAME IS A PUN

 **LÚCIO:** and a reminder not to let go of a dog if i’m holding it.

 **LÚCIO:** an embarrassing reminder, but it works.

 **LÚCIO:** he forgave me for it.

 **D.VA:** i dont know if i can forgive you for that

 **LÚCIO:** well, try. i’d like you to meet him.

 **D.VA:** SIGH

 **D.VA:** alright alright back to business

 **D.VA:** i can make fun of you later

 **D.VA:** or tomorrow at the party whatever comes sooner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ [lingerie](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/149196077526/my-two-theories-about-genjis-nakedness-are-as), [beet](http://froggo.tumblr.com), [beet receipts](http://imgur.com/s7swwZR)


	32. LOG 15: PART 4/5: HALLOWE'EN

**\-- AUTOMATIC VOICE CALL TRANSCRIPT: HALLOWE’EN PARTY + CONTESTS 2076 --**

**REAPER:** [Is everyone present.]

**GENJI:** [I believe so.]

**WINSTON:** [Roll call?]

**GENJI:** [Hold on, I can count... yes, everyone is present.]

**WINSTON:** [Then we can get started. Reyes, if you’d like the mic.]

**REAPER:** [No thanks.]

**WINSTON:** [Well, we need someone to do it.]

**MCCREE:** [Give it here, everyone’s been waitin’ for too damn long.]

**REAPER:** [Here.]

**MCCREE:** [Alright folks, get yourselves seated. It’s time for the 2076 Overwatch costume contest!]

**MCCREE:** [Thanks for the applause, but let’s not get carried away before the main event. I’ll call y’all up one by one, then you can come and tell us who or what you’re dressed up as.]

**MCCREE:** [Nice to see all these costumes! We’ll vote after the presentation. Sound good?]

**MCCREE:** [Alright, by surname - Miss Ana Amari, whom we only just found out isn’t dead. And now she’s attending our Hallowe’en party, and we’re moving along like nothing happened...]

**AMARI:** [Cut to the chase, cowboy.]

**MCCREE:** [Tell us about your costume, if you’d be so kind.]

**AMARI:** [Solid Snake.]

**D.VA:** [Nice!]

**PHARAH:** [Good taste.]

**AMARI:** [It seemed fitting, with the eyepatch and all.]

**AMARI:** [I played the fifth game almost as much as Fareeha’s played CoD.]

**REINHARDT:** [CoD is for losers.]

**PHARAH:** [Coming from you...]

**AMARI:** [Yeah, you can’t judge. You like Smite and League.]

**REINHARDT:** [Stop judging my bad taste.]

**MCCREE:** [Well, I’m sure we can all appreciate a good video game.]

**HANZO:** [Your favourite games are Red Dead Redemption and Dance Dance Revolution.]

**MCCREE:** [Don’t diss DDR, darlin’.]

**D.VA:** [There were way too many ‘d’s in that sentence...]

**HANZO:** [I will diss it all I like if I am kept up by you dancing to nightcore ‘Country Girl’ at four in the morning.]

**D.VA:** [Pfft, holy shit!]

**PHARAH:** [That’s dedication, Jesse.]

**MCCREE:** [I’m just tryin’ to beat my high score...]

**MCCREE:** [Alright, let’s save the discussion for later. Not like I’ve been able to play a lot of games over the years or anythin’ anyway.]

**MCCREE:** [Let’s give Miss Amari a round of applause, folks.]

**AMARI:** [Thank you. My costume is great, I know.]

**MCCREE:** [Next up, Fareeha!]

**PHARAH:** [I don’t want to talk about how much I spent on this... so I won’t.]

**MCCREE:** [Tell us about your costume.]

**PHARAH:** [Samus Aran from Metroid.]

**GENJI:** [Good choice, Fareeha.]

**PHARAH:** [Thank you, Genji.]

**D.VA:** [I’m so glad both you and your mother have great taste in games.]

**AMARI:** [It runs in the family.]

**PHARAH:** [Haha, it was hard to resist. This costume is no sweat, being so similar to my armour.]

**REINHARDT:** [I approve.]

**MCCREE:** [Looks like money well spent, Fareeha. Don’t think anyone in this room could rock a Samus costume like you.]

**PHARAH:** [I appreciate it.]

**MCCREE:** [How ‘bout our resident DJ come up here next?]

**LÚCIO:** [Hello, hello.]

**REAPER:** [Holy shit.]

**D.VA:** [Hahahaha! Oh man, Lúci.]

**MCCREE:** [So, tell us about your costume.]

**LÚCIO:** [Nepeta Leijon from Homestuck.]

**MCCREE:** [Uh... that another video game, pardner?]

**LÚCIO:** [Let me tell you...]

**D.VA:** [Don’t you dare make that joke!]

**LÚCIO:** [Fine, fine. Nah, Jesse, it’s an anime.]

**REAPER:** [Dios mío.]

**D.VA:** [Oh my goodness.]

**LÚCIO:** [Kidding, it’s from a webcomic.]

**LÚCIO:** [A really old one, but one of the most popular.]

**REAPER:** [I can’t believe you picked Nepeta when Aradia is obviously the best beta.]

**LÚCIO:** [Hey, Nep was great.  _ And _ green.]

**MCCREE:** [Gabriel, you know what he’s talkin’ about?]

**REAPER:** [I don’t wanna talk about it. Let’s move on.]

**MCCREE:** [Alright, well the costume’s neat. Painting your skin grey must’ve been hard. Next up, we’ve got Jamison.]

**JUNKRAT:** [Ugh, just call me James.]

**MCCREE:** [James it is.]

**JUNKRAT:** [My costume s’posed to go with Hog’s.]

**TRACER:** [Ooh, I recognize that! Great work, Jamie!]

**REINHARDT:** [Excellent taste.]

**AMARI:** [Wow, agreed.]

**JUNKRAT:** [I’m Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad. Y’know, the TV show.]

**MCCREE:** [Hey, yeah, I’ve heard of that. It’s an old one.]

**JUNKRAT:** [It’s amazing! Everyone needs to watch it.]

**MCCREE:** [I’ll keep that in mind.]

**JUNKRAT:** [Here, have some meth - it’s sugar candy dyed blue.]

**MCCREE:** [Hey, this is pretty good.]

**JUNKRAT:** [Thanks, mate!]

**MCCREE:** [Okay, next up is Amélie, who insisted on being here.]

**WIDOWMAKER:** [Indeed.]

**TRACER:** [Whoa, WHOA!!]

**D.VA:** [Oh my  _ fuck. _ ]

**MCCREE:** [So, who’re you supposed to be?]

**WIDOWMAKER:** [Nurse Valentine from Skullgirls.]

**MCCREE:** [Well, uh, if the outfit fits...]

**WIDOWMAKER:** [Do not finish that sentence.]

**TRACER:** [Think she’ll notice if I don’t look away from her chest?]

**D.VA:** [Lena, there’s no way she wouldn’t notice that...]

**MCCREE:** [Scary doctor look definitely works on you, so I gotta say you made a good costume choice. Next up, we’ve got Torbjörn.]

**TORBJÖRN:** [Some great costumes we have tonight.]

**MCCREE:** [Sure do, pardner. Think anyone recognizes yours? ‘Cause I know I do.]

**PHARAH:** [Everyone recognizes classic Batman villains, Jesse.]

**MEI:** [Hey, I don’t. But thank you for the tip.]

**PHARAH:** [Alright, everyone who’s into superheroes.]

**MCCREE:** [Give us that name, Torb.]

**TORBJÖRN:** [Penguin.]

**MCCREE:** [Think you shoulda shaved the beard off, too?]

**TORBJÖRN:** [I may be willing to dress up, but that’s asking more of me than I’m willing to give.]

**MCCREE:** [Alright, guess I can’t blame ya there. Next, uh... well, I’m next.]

**MCCREE:** [Couldn’t decide between werewolf and vampire, so I went as both. Lemme twirl for y’all; the cape looks great with a twirl.]

**TRACER:** [Woo, work it, Jesse!]

**ZARYA:** [Do not fall over.]

**MCCREE:** [Don’t worry, I’ve got the twirls under control. I’m sure Hanzo’d catch me if I didn’t.]

**HANZO:** [Of course.]

**MCCREE:** [Hear that, y’all? He’s got my back.]

**MCCREE:** [Anyway, Genji was nice enough to lend me the ears and clip-on tail.]

**GENJI:** [You’re welcome, cowboy.]

**MCCREE:** [I appreciate it. Now come on up, Jack.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Hello.]

**MCCREE:** [Another person we thought was dead who isn’t dead! It’s like a trend or something.]

**MCCREE:** [Fake funerals aside, uh...]

**MCCREE:** [What... what’s your costume?]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [I’m... a dog.]

**MCCREE:** [I mean, if you say so. But it looks to me you’re showin’ more skin than fur. Ain’t you cold?]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Nah, I’m doing fine.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [I just... ran out of costume choices at the store. They were really limited.]

**D.VA:** [I told you! I warned you about this, and you didn’t listen!]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [I thought there’d be a wider selection than sexy animals and sexy occupations.]

**ZARYA:** [But why did you pick dog?]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Well, I did tell Hana I’d keep it in mind when she told me to dress up as something cool.]

**MEI:** [Oh my gosh.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [And she likes dogs.]

**D.VA:** [Okay, I do like dogs. But you having your tits out, showing more than Amy and Hanzo combined, kinda kills the potential ‘cool’ vibe. Just saying.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [That’s fair.]

**HANZO:** [My tits are not out.]

**D.VA:** [Well, not at the  _ moment. _ ]

**MCCREE:** [Let’s not get sidetracked now, folks. Up next, Lena!]

**TRACER:** [Hey, everyone! I’m a bat.]

**MCCREE:** [Cute hoodie, where’d you get it? Or did you sew it?]

**TRACER:** [Amazon, where else?]

**MCCREE:** [They do have fast shipping.]

**TRACER:** [Exactly. It’s a comfy outfit! I wanted to dress up, but I didn’t really wanna sew anything or get anything too elaborate to wear...]

**MCCREE:** [Sometimes simple’s best. Now it’s Gabriel’s turn. What’s the King of Hallowe’en got to show us this year?]

**REAPER:** [Oh, nothing special.]

**MCCREE:** [Well holy fucking shit.]

**GENJI:** [That’s my boyfriend!]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Damn, Reyes.]

**D.VA:** [The man’s got the thighs.]

**REAPER:** [Thanks. I made the outfit myself.]

**MCCREE:** [Where’s it from?]

**REAPER:** [Kill la Kill, I’m dressing up as Matoi Ryuko. Probably the best protagonist in anything, ever.]

**GENJI:** [You like her because she’s edgy and ate a lemon.]

**HANZO:** [Lemons are good.]

**REAPER:** [Agreed.]

**MCCREE:** [Gabriel goin’ as a character who ate a lemon sounds pretty fitting. Next up, Mako!]

**ROADHOG:** [Like Jamison said. From Breaking Bad, except I’m Walter White.]

**MCCREE:** [Got any more of that fake meth?]

**ROADHOG:** [No.]

**JUNKRAT:** [Here, I’ve got some left!]

**MCCREE:** [Hey, thanks. I s’pose voting for either of you would go down to personal preference.]

**REINHARDT:** [Both costumes are good.]

**MCCREE:** [Thanks for the input, Reinhardt. I sure as heck don’t know.]

**MCCREE:** [Now, who’s next? Let’s get Genji up here! Give him a big round of applause.]

**GENJI:** [Jesse, who let you commentate?]

**MCCREE:** [Very funny. So, tell us about yourself. Introduce yourself to us.]

**GENJI:** [My name is... green cyborg ninja dude.]

**MCCREE:** [I mean yourself in your costume. Are those cat ears?]

**GENJI:** [Here, let me turn around.]

**MCCREE:** [Well shoot, you’ve got a li’l tail to match.]

**GENJI:** [Yes. I ordered this maid dress. Gabe helped. He thought it’d be cuter with more lace.]

**REAPER:** [I was right.]

**GENJI:** [He was right, it does look cuter with more lace.]

**MCCREE:** [You look pretty damn nice if I do say so myself.]

**GENJI:** [Thank you, Jesse. Keep your hands to yourself.]

**MCCREE:** [Hey, I’m keepin’ ‘em. Take a seat, let’s get Hanzo up here now.]

**HANZO:** [Greetings.]

**MCCREE:** [Tell us about your costume, darlin’.]

**HANZO:** [Homura Akemi from Puella Magi Madoka Magica.]

**MCCREE:** [That sure was a lotta words I don’t know.]

**HANZO:** [We should watch it together sometime.]

**MCCREE:** [I can’t turn down an invitation phrased so sweetly. Sounds good to me.]

**GENJI:** [Hey, you should’ve told me you were going as Homura.]

**HANZO:** [Why.]

**GENJI:** [So I could go as Madoka and you could mourn my death. Repeatedly. Over and over and over again.]

**TRACER:** [Wow, Genji, that’s harsh.]

**GENJI:** [But deserved.]

**HANZO:** [I am sorry.]

**GENJI:** [I know, I’m just teasing, anija. Keep going, Jesse.]

**MCCREE:** [Uh... alright, next up is Hana!]

**D.VA:** [Hey, I sewed this myself! It was a pain!]

**D.VA:** [Here, check out all the bandages on my finger. I should’ve just asked to borrow Hanzo or Gabe’s sewing machines, but I thought it might be neat to hand sew... I was wrong. I mean, I guess it was neat.]

**D.VA:** [It was also painful, that’s all.]

**D.VA:** [Very painful.]

**MCCREE:** [Yowch, that’s a lotta bandages.]

**D.VA:** [Anyway, I’m the titular character from Harry Potter! I love fantasy series and games and stuff.]

**MCCREE:** [That sounds pretty fun. Let’s get Bastion up here next.]

**BASTION:** [Bwee-oo-ooh! Beeep.]

**MCCREE:** [Uh... can anyone translate?]

**ZENYATTA:** [It said it’s wearing a Pokémon kigurumi of a Magikarp. Was my pronunciation satisfactory?]

**GENJI:** [Yes, master.]

**ZENYATTA:** [Good to hear. It also said that Ganymede has a matching outfit of Gyarados. It’s a capelet, which I imagine was not easy to get on a bird.]

**BASTION:** [Bweeep boop beep.]

**ZENYATTA:** [She is very small, but she trusts you immensely.]

**GENJI:** [Good pun, by the way.]

**BASTION:** [Beep bweep bwee-ooh-beep!]

**MCCREE:** [I think both of your costumes are adorable. Next up, Satya.]

**SYMMETRA:** [I wasn’t sure who to dress up as... I went with a classic heroine - Sailor Mars from Sailor Moon.]

**D.VA:** [You look amazing!!]

**SYMMETRA:** [Thank you, Hana.]

**PHARAH:** [Even in 2076, we can all appreciate a good Sailor Moon costume.]

**SYMMETRA:** [Indeed.]

**MCCREE:** [I love the crown... tiara... thing. Looks great! Reinhardt, you’re up next.]

**REINHARDT:** [Finally.]

**MCCREE:** [So, you look like a big... dragon?]

**REINHARDT:** [Yes. I’m Paarthurnax from the Elder Scrolls series.]

**D.VA:** [Damn it, pops.]

**REINHARDT:** [Elder Scrolls over Fallout anyday, everyday.]

**D.VA:** [Suuuure.]

**MCCREE:** [Dragons are pretty great, so I approve.]

**GENJI:** [Hahaha, of course you would.]

**MCCREE:** [Shut it, Genji. Next up is Winston, who doesn’t really have a surname.]

**WINSTON:** [Like I said before, this is a joint effort with Athena. Hold on, she provides the voice.]

**D.VA:** [Something about this is familiar, but I can’t put my finger on it... damn.]

**PHARAH:** [Maybe you’ve played too many games.]

**D.VA:** [No such thing, Fareeha.]

**TRACER:** [Hey, Athena!]

**ATHENA:** [Hello, Lena.]

**ATHENA:** [I have many voices downloaded, so it was easy to take this costume above and beyond.]

**ATHENA:** [Ahem.]

**ATHENA:** [We’ve both said a lot of things you’re going to regret.]

**D.VA:** [OHHHH.]

**ATHENA:** [I think we can both put our differences aside. For science. You monster.]

**D.VA:** [Hahahaha, this is great!]

**ATHENA:** [Remember, the Aperture Science ‘Bring Your Daughter to Work Day’ is the perfect time to have her tested.]

**WINSTON:** [Great work, Athena.]

**PHARAH:** [Fantastic costume, you two.]

**ATHENA:** [Thank you.]

**MCCREE:** [Well, I think we can all agree that that was a stunner. Aleksandra’s up next.]

**ZARYA:** [My costume goes with Mei’s. I am the Heavy from Team Fortress.]

**MEI:** [And you look so good!]

**ZARYA:** [As do you.]

**ZARYA:** [Now, check out this gun.]

**MCCREE:** [Ooh, that’s a weapon that means business, alright. Wouldn’t give up my six shooter for anything, though.]

**ZARYA:** [Nor would I give up my particle cannon, but this minigun is an impressive beast. Even if this is not a real gun, and merely a prop.]

**ZARYA:** [Her name is Sasha.]

**MCCREE:** [She looks mighty fine. Next up, Zenyatta.]

**ZENYATTA:** [Bastion and myself ended up having similar costumes. I am Charmander from Pokémon.]

**GENJI:** [I didn’t know you were into Pokémon.]

**ZENYATTA:** [I downloaded some of the manga after Bastion told me about it.]

**GENJI:** [Wow, master.]

**ZENYATTA:** [Charmander, Piplup, and Snivy are my favourite starters.]

**MCCREE:** [Is everyone here into Pokémon?]

**PHARAH:** [Yes.]

**D.VA:** [Duh!]

**LÚCIO:** [Of course!]

**JUNKRAT:** [HECK YEAH!]

**HANZO:** [Yes, Jesse.]

**MERCY:** [Even I have to say yes, to an extent.]

**ZARYA:** [As do I.]

**MEI:** [I love Pokémon!]

**GENJI:** [Hanzo and I play nonstop, haven’t you noticed?]

**REAPER:** [I played it a lot when I was younger, but Genji got me back into it. Ten years ago and recently.]

**ROADHOG:** [I play.]

**REINHARDT:** [Same.]

**WINSTON:** [Me, too.]

**TRACER:** [I do!]

**TORBJÖRN:** [Same here.]

**AMARI:** [And here.]

**WIDOWMAKER:** [I played a bit.]

**MCCREE:** [Wow, is there anyone who hasn’t?]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Never bothered.]

**BASTION:** [Bweeeeep, bwee-oh.]

**SYMMETRA:** [I did not play, either.]

**D.VA:** [Oh man, Satya, I am totally getting you into Pokémon, just you wait.]

**SYMMETRA:** [I look forward to it, if it’s so entertaining.]

**D.VA:** [I won’t let you down!]

**MCCREE:** [Movin’ on, it’s Mei’s turn on the stage.]

**MEI:** [I’m Pyro!]

**MCCREE:** [You sure are, pardner. Is it hot under that mask?]

**MEI:** [Yes, but I’ll live.]

**MCCREE:** [Speakin’ of livin’... last but certainly not least, let’s get Angie up here.]

**MERCY:** [Well, I’m one of a bunch of people who went with a video game reference. Toriel from Undertale.]

**HANZO:** [The mother.]

**GENJI:** [Fitting.]

**MERCY:** [Yes, you’re familiar with the game? It’s old...]

**MCCREE:** [Everyone here dressin’ up as some game or show character picked really old stuff. What a coincidence.]

**MCCREE:** [Odd, but kinda neat, I s’pose.]

**HANZO:** [It was a successful indie game. Genji bought it for me.]

**GENJI:** [We played a lot of games in our youth. Hanzo preferred PC and console, but I spent a lot of time in the arcade. So much time.]

**HANZO:** [Getting out of the castle is too much work...]

**MERCY:** [It must’ve been fun getting to play genuine arcade games!]

**GENJI:** [Yes, I wasted so much time there. Sometimes I’d drag Hanzo with me, but he’d pull out his DS and start playing Pokémon while I played arcade games.]

**MCCREE:** [Real heartwarmin’, don’tcha think?]

**MCCREE:** [Hey, y’all ready to vote? That’s all the cost- whoops, looks like I forgot someone back there.]

**MCCREE:** [Step right up, pardner.]

**SOMBRA:** na im good lol

**ATHENA:** Sombra? Why are you here?

**SOMBRA:** bored

**SOMBRA:** reyes invited me

**ATHENA:** This is a voice transcript, you can’t talk in here.

**SOMBRA:** WhOs GoNnA sToP mE

**SOMBRA:** You???? Lol

**ATHENA:** No, it’s just weird.

**ATHENA:** Though it’s fitting you stole Liao’s account and relabelled it to fit yourself.

**ATHENA:** Why have your spoken words transcribed anyway?

**SOMBRA:** it looks funny w/o the brackets

**GENJI:** [Hey whats going on in this thread]

**SOMBRA:** Lol forgot youre a mod

**SOMBRA:** and a cyborg

**GENJI:** [Yes i am indeed both of those things]

**GENJI:** See i can remove my brackets too but i wont because it looks weird

**GENJI:** [Who are you]

**SOMBRA:** sombra

**REAPER:** [Oh, you made it.]

**SOMBRA:** ive been here the whole time

**D.VA:** [For a second, I thought you were Genji, even though he already presented his costume...]

**SOMBRA:** im not genji lol

**GENJI:** [I’m Genji.]

**D.VA:** [Well, can you blame me? I mean, awesome Zer0 costume. Borderlands is a great series.]

**SOMBRA:** thx

**PHARAH:** [Borderlands is okay.]

**D.VA:** [C’mon, Fareeha. You don’t like Dark Souls, either.]

**PHARAH:** [At least I don’t play League and Smite.]

**REINHARDT:** [Wow.]

**D.VA:** [You can’t beat Starcraft.]

**MCCREE:** [Voting, folks, c’mon.]

**SOMBRA:** yeah lets vote

**SOMBRA:** put me on the list.

**GENJI:** [Sure, why not.]

**GENJI:** [But I only agree because you have a cool costume.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Alright, let’s get these votes in. Everyone remembered to download the Strawpoll app, right?]

**SYMMETRA:** [Obviously.]

**MERCY:** [How could we forget?]

**PHARAH:** [Genji posted the announcement in the Discord channel at least ten times in the past forty-eight hours alone.]

**REINHARDT:** [It would be hard to miss.]

**REAPER:** [A handful of us have been through this process before, too.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Well, everyone gets one vote. Let’s have a clean, fair contest.]

**TRACER:** [What happened to the old method? Before you simplified it to just using the app?]

**REAPER:** [Oh, boy.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Nothing good, that’s for sure.]

**AMARI:** [We had a ballot box, and everyone would just write their vote on a slip of paper.]

**REAPER:** [There were so many fake votes.]

**REAPER:** [In the interest of fairness, we had to switch it up.]

**REAPER:** [And Sombra, don’t hack the Strawpoll.]

**SOMBRA:** wasn’t planning to, padre

**MCCREE:** [Don’t call him that.]

**REAPER:** [Don’t call me that.]

**SOMBRA:** sorry i forgot about your weird problems

**SOMBRA:** wasn’t planning to, jefe*

**SOMBRA:** happy?

**REAPER:** [Am I ever.]

**SOMBRA:** sometimes.

**SOMBRA:** [reyes voice] death comes

**SOMBRA:** [reyes voice] die die die

**SOMBRA:** get over yourself

**D.VA:** [That was brutal.]

**LÚCIO:** [Hahaha, get wrecked!]

**ZARYA:** [The votes are in. There are twenty-three.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Oh, great. Jesse, will you do the honours?]

**MCCREE:** [Spec I might as well at this point. Who’s the poll creator?]

**WINSTON:** [I made it. I’ll send you the results.]

* * *

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @MCCREE & @WINSTON --**

**WINSTON:** [Pollresults.png]

**MCCREE:** thank ya kindly

**MCCREE:** why aint i surprised

**WINSTON:** He had an advantage.

**MCCREE:** yeah thats exactly it

**MCCREE:** ok lets do this-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to [everyone who voted](https://strawpoll.de/a73cw5z), especially the first 23! you're a part of IBD history now. \\\


	33. LOG 15: PART 5/5: HALLOWE'EN

**\-- AUTOMATIC VOICE CALL TRANSCRIPT: HALLOWE’EN PARTY + CONTESTS 2076 --**

**MCCREE:** [Well folks, I just got the results.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Who won?]

**MCCREE:** [In third place, we got Mei as the Pyro from Team Fortress.]

**MCCREE:** [Here’s your bronze circlet... thing.]

**MEI:** [Yay, thank you!]

**MCCREE:** [Second, we got Reyes’ small hacker friend as Zer0 from Borderlands.]

**SOMBRA:** im not that short youre just tall

**REAPER:** [We’re not friends. We’re coworkers.]

**MCCREE:** [Whatever, take your silver tiara.]

**SOMBRA:** gladly

**SOMBRA:** i deserve it for putting this cosplay together on such short notice

**D.VA:** [It looks good!]

**SYMMETRA:** [Did you create the helmet yourself?]

**SOMBRA:** yeah its functional i did it myself

**SYMMETRA:** [Well done.]

**MCCREE:** [Hey, you can compliment the winners later. In first, we’ve got Genji as a... neko maid? Did I pronounce that correctly?]

**HANZO:** [No. But you were close.]

**MCCREE:** [Good enough for me, darlin’.]

**GENJI:** [Holy shit, I won?]

**REAPER:** [Was tempted to vote for myself, but you look adorable in that outfit.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [I was not gonna vote for myself, and I’m glad I didn’t win so my dog costume doesn’t have to be added to the Overwatch album of Hallowe’en costume contest winners.]

**GENJI:** [I’m touched, thank you so much for voting for me.]

**PHARAH:** [Genji’s legs win again, and who can blame the voters?]

**SOMBRA:** good taste but whoever voted for me has better taste

**D.VA:** [Wasn’t easy to choose, we’ve got some great costumes tonight.]

**SYMMETRA:** [Indeed.]

**REINHARDT:** [I’m just thankful that Gabriel didn’t steal another victory.]

**TORBJÖRN:** [Agreed.]

**MCCREE:** [Can’t say it’s an undeserved victory. Twirl for us, won’tcha?]

**GENJI:** [Sure, why not.]

**REAPER:** [I am putting this photo in my phone background rotation.]

**GENJI:** [Thank you, dear.]

**MCCREE:** [Looks like the night’s crown goes to our resident cyborg ninja. Congratulations, Genji. Would you like to say a word?]

**GENJI:** [Yes, hand me the microphone.]

**MCCREE:** [Here ya go.]

**GENJI:** [Thanks.]

**GENJI:** [I want you all to know...]

**GENJI:** [I may have won for tonight, but...]

**GENJI:** [I’m always a winner. I’m always  _ the _ winner.]

**GENJI:** [I’m cooler than every single one of you.]

**GENJI:** [I’m a fucking cyborg ninja who lights up and provides excellent quality Wi-Fi.]

**GENJI:** [You will never, ever be cooler than me.]

**GENJI:** [I am your god now.]

**GENJI:** [Do not forget this.]

**GENJI:** [...That is all.]

**TRACER:** [Woo, encore!]

**MCCREE:** [Christ, Genji.]

**HANZO:** [What a terrible speech.]

**GENJI:** [I will fight you, anija. ]

**HANZO:** [Even at a party.]

**GENJI:** [No, I’m way too drunk for that.]

**HANZO:** [That is what I thought.]

**GENJI:** [Another time.]

**MERCY:** [Murderous Shimada tension aside...]

**MERCY:** [Can we get to the food now?]

**JUNKRAT:** [Yeah!! Please? I’m starving!]

**WINSTON:** [Yes Dr. Ziegler, there’s lots of chocolate for you to enjoy.]

**MERCY:** [Perfect.]

**D.VA:** [Hahaha, Angela knows what she’s about.]

**GENJI:** [I’m just glad I won, I’m not even upset I can’t eat with the rest of you.]

**REAPER:** [I’m proud of you.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [You did a good job, being a cat maid.]

**GENJI:** [Thanks, sexy dog.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [No problem.]

**D.VA:** [Hold on, we need a group pic!]

**D.VA:** [Everyone, gather here. Smile!]

**D.VA:** [Happy Hallowe’en!]

* * *

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @D.VA & @LÚCIO --**

**LÚCIO:** think anyone noticed me sneaking these dogs in?

**D.VA:** i sure as fuck hope not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy belated hallowe'en! let's play ourselves some good sombra when she's out. \\\


	34. LOG 15.5: POLL BREAKDOWN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just a bonus thing, was talking to octy about who voted for who and decided to show it
> 
> mccree asked everyone about their votes in the costume contest, here are their answers :) //

**JESSE MCCREE (rootintootin39@gmail.com) - Google Docs: halloween 2076 costume contest**

**1ST PLACE: GENJI - NEKO MAID**

**REAPER:** im gay and i love my boyfriend.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** i’m tired of reyes winning.

 **AMARI:** im tired of gabriel winning

 **HANZO:** Genji told me to vote for him.

 **MCCREE:** hanzo told me to vote for him

 **WIDOWMAKER:** Obvious best costume.

* * *

**2ND PLACE: SOMBRA - ZER0 [BORDERLANDS]**

**SOMBRA:** i voted for myself because nobody told me i couldnt

 **D.VA:** im gay

 **TORBJÖRN:** Borderlands is good.

 **SYMMETRA:** The helmet was very well made.

* * *

**3RD PLACE: MEI - PYRO [TF2]**

**ZARYA:** I’m gay and I love my girlfriend.

 **WINSTON:** I like Valve games.

 

 **MCCREE:** (i know 3rd place is technically a 4-way tie cause a few costumes got two votes apiece... but athena said to count hers with winston so i gave mei the 3rd place win)

 **MCCREE:** (hope ana and gabriel dont find out)

* * *

**4TH PLACE: ANA - SOLID SNAKE [METAL GEAR]**

**PHARAH:** I’m proud of my mother for having good taste.

 **MERCY:** I’m proud of my girlfriend’s mother for having good taste.

* * *

**4TH PLACE: REAPER - MATOI RYUKO [KILL LA KILL]**

**MEI:** He has the thighs for it, can you blame me?

 **GENJI:** Im gay and i love my boyfriend

* * *

**5TH PLACE: TRACER - BAT**

**ROADHOG:** bats are good.

 **LÚCIO:** it was a really cute outfit! :)

* * *

**5TH PLACE: SOLDIER: 76 - SEXY DOG**

**REINHARDT:** it was a pity vote

* * *

**5TH PLACE: WINSTON & ATHENA- GLADOS [PORTAL]**

**ZENYATTA:** Winston and Athena did a good job.

* * *

**5TH PLACE: REINHARDT - PAARTHURNAX [ELDER SCROLLS]**

**BASTION:** 01100010 01110111 01100101 01100101 00101101 01101111 01101111 01101000 ! ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ

 

 **MCCREE:** (genji translated this for me)

 **MCCREE:** (apparently it said somethin along the lines of ‘reinhardt’s costume was really cool’)

 **MCCREE:** (which is true)

* * *

 **5TH PLACE: LÚCIO -** **NEPETA LEIJON [HOMESTUCK]**

 **JUNKRAT:** IM GAY BUT DONT TELL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

**5TH PLACE: WIDOWMAKER - NURSE VALENTINE [SKULLGIRLS]:**

**TRACER:** i couldnt stop staring at her tits


	35. LOG 16: PART 1/4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup. good luck with comp s3, y'all. //

**\-- GENJI renamed group from HALLOWE’EN PARTY + CONTESTS 2076 to INSUFFERABLE PRICKS --**

**D.VA:** hey i got a question for you jesse

 **MCCREE:** shoot

 **D.VA:** alright well

 **D.VA:** yknow how genji and jack call reaper ‘gabe’?

 **D.VA:** and how most of the people originally part of ow call him ‘gabe’ too for that matter

 **D.VA:** or reyes

 **D.VA:** why do you call him gabriel???

 **D.VA:** wasnt he your mentor?

 **D.VA:** were you unable to call him by a nickname or something... if he was your commanding officer wouldnt you at least call him his surname?

 **MCCREE:** uh

 **MCCREE:** well

 **MCCREE:** angie calls him gabriel

 **MERCY:** I had no connection with him.

 **MERCY:** You’re avoiding the question, aren’t you?

 **MCCREE:** hey mei does too

 **MEI:** Well, I’m not going to call him Reyes. We were at least on a first name basis with each other.

 **MEI:** And he gets bent out of shape if people try calling him ‘Gabe’.

 **MCCREE:** its a privilege for the people he fucks

 **GENJI:** Did you just quote him

 **MCCREE:** yes

 **GENJI:** Ok when did he tell you he said that

 **MCCREE:** hes mentioned it before

 **GENJI:** I know he said that when he visited

 **GENJI:** When we had the party

 **GENJI:** He told jack and myself that its a privilege for people he fucks

 **MCCREE:** hes said it in the past

 **MCCREE:** way back

 **MCCREE:** before you were on the scene

 **MERCY:** A few of the others used to call him ‘Gabe’, though.

 **MERCY:** He didn’t have sex with _all_ of them.

 **MCCREE:** yeah true

 **MCCREE:** but it wasnt a matter of permission or whatever

 **MCCREE:** they were just bein casual

 **MCCREE:** things were all nice and cozy back then

 **MCCREE:** ana liao reinhardt and lena called him gabe and he didnt tell em not to cause theyre the types to get away with it

 **D.VA:** and... youre not

 **MCCREE:** none of your business kid

 **TRACER:** i dont call him gabe much anymore!

 **TRACER:** he gets bent out of shape about it ;P

 **TRACER:** youd think hes mellowed with age...

 **MERCY:** Funny!

 **D.VA:** jesse still hasnt answered my question

 **GENJI:** Are you going to continue to bother him about it

 **D.VA:** yeah

 **MCCREE:** why

 **D.VA:** im curious

 **MCCREE:** it aint your business kid

 **D.VA:** cmon jess

 **GENJI:** He will not tell you

 **GENJI:** He is very stubborn on the matter

 **D.VA:** but... why???

 **ANA:** i can tell you

 **MCCREE:** aw hell no

 **ANA:** watch your fucking language

 **D.VA:** omg

 **ANA:** anyway

 **ANA:** its a thing he does out of spite

 **D.VA:** what do you mean?

 **ANA:** ok well

 **ANA:** most people called him ‘reyes’ or ‘captain reyes’ or ‘captain’

 **ANA:** like

 **ANA:** out of formality

 **D.VA:** yeah that makes sense

 **ANA:** yeah

 **ANA:** most of us who could call him a friend would call him ‘gabe’

 **ANA:** he was less of a twat back then so he didnt tell us otherwise

 **ANA:** it obviously didnt mean the same as if genji or jack was calling him ‘gabe’

 **ANA:** they used to use a lot of pet names for each other

 **D.VA:** aww

 **D.VA:** gay

 **GENJI:** Yes it was gay

 **ANA:** so ‘reyes’ was the formal name people would use and ‘gabe’ was the casual

 **ANA:** ‘gabriel’ was a nice informal in between name

 **ANA:** the thing about jesse is that

 **ANA:** he probably couldve gotten away with calling him gabe

 **ANA:** because of the mentor/apprentice thing

 **ANA:** they were close in some ways because they worked together

 **ANA:** but jesse couldve also called him reyes

 **ANA:** because gabriel was his superior

 **MCCREE:** like i cared

 **ANA:** yes you were a little brat

 **HANZO:** Understandable.

 **MCCREE:** cmon hun

 **HANZO:** Sorry.

 **GENJI:** Hahahahaha brat

 **ANA:** well jesse used ‘gabriel’ because he didnt show the respect for ‘reyes’ and he didnt have the fondness for ‘gabe’

 **ANA:** if that makes sense

 **TRACER:** jesses called him other things too!

 **ANA:** yeah like  jefe and hombre and padre

 **MCCREE:** i did not call him that

 **REINHARDT:** we all know you’ve called him dad.

 **REINHARDT:** this is an established fact.

 **MCCREE:** i aint need these lies

 **ANA:** nobodys judging you

 **D.VA:** im judging a little

 **D.VA:** you called him by his full first name just because you were stubborn???

 **D.VA:** i wonder what he felt

 **REAPER:** didnt care.

 **GENJI:** Hello my love

 **REAPER:** hey.

 **D.VA:** you totally cared

 **D.VA:** oh your poor

 **D.VA:** hold on lemme translate

 **D.VA:** oh  mijo

 **D.VA:** why dont you call me by a name expected of you

 **REAPER:** do not talk about me.

 **MCCREE:** this aint your business anyway hana

 **MCCREE:** lets change the topic

 **D.VA:** oh my god

 **D.VA:** well i didnt mean to press

 **D.VA:** this rabbit hole goes down a lot further than i thought

 **D.VA:** my bad

 **MCCREE:** its alright it happens

 **GENJI:** The group chat aims to learn all it can about everyone else

 **GENJI:** Do not forget the gossip war of 2067

 **REAPER:** god. how could i ever.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** how could anyone?

 **SOLDIER: 76:** that entire year was a mess.

 **ANA:** yeah liao won

 **GENJI:** And nobody was surprised

 **REINHARDT:** as if the rest of us stood a chance against liao.

 **GENJI:** Oh and the arguments that were happening when i joined

 **MCCREE:** i dont remember those all that well

 **GENJI:** Hm

 **GENJI:** Neither do i seeing as i was with angela a lot of the time

 **MERCY:** Well, somebody had to make sure you didn’t die.

 **GENJI:** Yes there were some close calls

 **GENJI:** The process went fine though

 **TRACER:** becoming a cyborg mustve been hard :P

 **GENJI:** Well i would not say it is easy

 **MERCY:** It’s not.

 **MCCREE:** its pretty cool aint it

 **GENJI:** Yes i am very cool

 **ANA:** not as cool as me

 **D.VA:** anyone who wouldn’t become a cyborg is a fucking idiot

 **GENJI:** Yeah say that after someone hacks into your balls

 **D.VA:** you

 **D.VA:** they

 **D.VA:** who

 **D.VA:** you what

 **MCCREE:** genji yaint have those

 **GENJI:** Let me make jokes you absolute bastard

 **D.VA:** what the hell

 **D.VA:** time to change the topic again

 **D.VA:**  im not talking about genjis nonexistent balls

 **D.VA:** some of you understand spanish right

 **MCCREE:** yep

 **MCCREE:** @REAPER and myself in particular

 **MCCREE:** a few of the others can speak it though

 **MCCREE:** jack had to learn for international affairs heh

 **D.VA:** <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGKrc3A6HHM>

**D.VA:** is this song inappropriate??

 **D.VA:** i dunno if i wanna google it myself

 **MCCREE:** ill have to listen to it

 **REAPER:** i remember that song.

 **MCCREE:** but you dont listen to old music

 **REAPER:** yeah.

 **REAPER:** im not big on the classics.

 **TRACER:** you like lorde??

 **REAPER:** lorde is musical genius. i refuse to hear otherwise.

 **MCCREE:** whend you hear this song though

 **REAPER:** its part of reinhardts music collection. one of genjis favorites.

 **REAPER:** he played it a few times.

 **D.VA:** are the lyrics sfw

 **D.VA:** i try to keep my streams sfw except for the party one that stuffs like an after dark thing

 **D.VA:** otherwise i like using music for the bg if i need it

 **REAPER:** sure. yeah. consider it sfw.

 **D.VA:** good enough for me

 **TRACER:** this is kinda catchy!

 **MCCREE:** i dont like it

 **TRACER:** you only enjoy country music, love

 **MCCREE:** i like other songs too sometimes

 **MCCREE:** whatdyou think gabriel

 **REAPER:** its ok.

 **REAPER:** i dont like how they pronounce the words.

 **MCCREE:** but they arent saying them badly or anything

 **TRACER:** whats wrong with the pronunciations?

 **REAPER:** nothing really.

 **TRACER:** but... you dont like them???

 **REAPER:** yeah.

 **TRACER:** .........right then

 **MCCREE:** christ gabriel

 **MCCREE:** its cause the guy rapping does stuff like drop ‘s’s

 **MCCREE:** like

 **MCCREE:** think of it as kinda like

 **MCCREE:** contracting almost

 **TRACER:** haha like you saying weird things like ‘youghta’??

 **D.VA:** dont forget ‘yaint’

 **REAPER:** yalldntve.

 **MCCREE:** pretty much

 **MCCREE:** and hey those arent weird they make perfect sense

 **JUNKRAT:** HELP

 **MCCREE:** whats the matter pardner

 **D.VA:** you alright there?

 **JUNKRAT:** IM STCUK

 **D.VA:** youre stuck

 **LÚCIO:** this isn’t like the time you got your prosthetic leg clamped in one of your own steel traps, is it?

 **JUNKRAT:** NO

 **JUNKRAT:** ALSO THAT WAS AN ACCIDENDT

 **TRACER:** dont hurt yourself love :(

 **JUNKRAT:** ID ASK ROADHOG FOR HELP BUT HES TAKING A SHWOER RIGHT NO W

 **JUNKRAT:** SO CAN ONE OF YOU PELASE COME OVER TO MY ROOM AND PHELP ME OUT

 **D.VA:** you still havent told us what happened

 **JUNKRAT:** I TRAPPED MY ARM IN MY BINDER

 **LÚCIO:** oh no!

 **JUNKRAT:** NOW PLEASE HLGEP ME

 **JUNKRAT:** I DCANT TYPE GOOD WITH MY LEFT HAND ALONE

 **JUNKRAT:** MY PHONES SLIPIPING

 **D.VA:** crap hold on im getting up

 **D.VA:** im trying not to laugh i feel like an asshole

 **JUNKRAT:** ITS OKAY ID LAUGH TOO IF I CWASNT SUFFOCATING

 **D.VA:** wow

 **D.VA:** alright hold your horses

 **LÚCIO:** we’ll be right there!

 **LÚCIO:** gaming can wait for later. :)

 **D.VA:** wait but im setting up a stream

 **D.VA:** dammit

 **TRACER:** im sure your fans can wait ;P

 **D.VA:** yeah jamies predicament takes priority

 **LÚCIO:** ok, let’s go.

 **D.VA:** alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ [ballhack](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/150897100651/asgardreid-sourcefieldmix-anyone-who), [international affairs](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/149436802371/i-love-latino-reaper-head-canons-but-consider)


	36. LOG 16: PART 2/4

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @GENJI & @HANZO --**

**HANZO:** So I'm dating Jesse now.

 **GENJI:** Yeah congratulations

 **HANZO:** You’ve slept with him correct.

 **GENJI:** No fucking shit

 **GENJI:** Whats the problem

 **GENJI:** Is it the country music

 **GENJI:** If so i understand completely

 **HANZO:** No it's not that though that's a problem too I guess.

 **HANZO:** Why does he sleep like that.

 **GENJI:** Sleep like w

 **GENJI:** OH

 **GENJI:** OH

 **GENJI:** 笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑

 **GENJI:** I dont know hes a fucking loser

 **HANZO:** I don't know if I can get over it.

 **GENJI:** Youre such a baby

 **HANZO:** Why.

 **GENJI:** I dont know  anija

 **HANZO:** Why.

 **GENJI:** Im really sorry but this is hilarious

 **HANZO:** What do I do.

 **GENJI:** Evidently you have some issues to sort out on your own so i cant help you there

 **GENJI:** Father would be so disappointed

 **GENJI:** I destroyed his empire and you threw it away

 **GENJI:** Now youre fucking a cowboy

 **GENJI:** And your biggest concern is why he sleeps naked

 **HANZO:** No it's not just that he keeps the hat and shoes on.

 **GENJI:** Wait what

 **HANZO:** You know the shoes with the spurs.

 **GENJI:** Jesus fucking christ just dump him

 **GENJI:** But to be entirely serious

 **GENJI:** I hope you are joking

 **HANZO:** It’s only a partial hyperbole.

 **GENJI:** Well if its weird you have to talk to him about it

 **GENJI:** I know communication is not one of your strong points

 **GENJI:** But you are in a relationship and you need to be honest with him

 **GENJI:** I understand that honesty is also not one of your strong points

 **HANZO:** And you know why that is.

 **GENJI:** I was referring to more minor topics

 **GENJI:** Not that

 **HANZO:** I know.

 **GENJI:** We shouldnt discuss that here

 **GENJI:** People can see

 **HANZO:** Yes I’m sure people all want to hack into this chat program to see what we are talking about in direct messages.

 **GENJI:** Oh you know what i mean

 **GENJI:** Stop changing the subject

 **HANZO:** Sorry.

 **GENJI:** Its ok

 **GENJI:** Listen to me  anija

 **GENJI:** I have dated gabe for many years

 **GENJI:** This would not have been possible without a lot of communication and trust and mutual respect

 **GENJI:** Between us and jack as well

 **GENJI:** It is more complicated with the three of us but we have made it work and we are happy

 **GENJI:**  Still we have all had our insecurities and worries

 **GENJI:** And sometimes it is not easy to confide in each other

 **GENJI:**  But you have to

 **GENJI:** If you do not care for yourself enough to do so

 **GENJI:**  Then remember how much you care for jesse

 **GENJI:** Remember that he deserves your honesty whether its about something sillier like this or about something serious

 **GENJI:** Be good to him

 **GENJI:** We may make fun of each other a lot but i care for him deeply

 **GENJI:** And i know you do too

 **GENJI:** If something is bothering you then go talk to him

 **GENJI:** Be honest like we have been honest to each other

 **GENJI:** I know that has been harder for you than fighting

 **GENJI:** It would be easier if we were fighting

 **HANZO:** It would but it’s for the best that we do not.

 **GENJI:** Agreed

 **GENJI:** The alternative is preferable

 **HANZO:** And by some miracle we have chosen that alternative.

 **GENJI:** Yes well

 **GENJI:** Go talk to jesse

 **GENJI:** Face to face if you can

 **GENJI:** He is exceptionally perceptive which im sure youve noticed by now

 **GENJI:** And not nearly as dim as captain amari and myself joke about

 **GENJI:** He knows that

 **GENJI:** We know that

 **GENJI:** He is smart but he has feelings too

 **GENJI:** Unlike yourself it seems

 **HANZO:** I do not enjoy having feelings.

 **GENJI:** I know  anija

 **GENJI:** But he can be sensitive so be mindful of that

 **GENJI:** Respect him

 **HANZO:** I do.

 **GENJI:** Treat him well

 **GENJI:** I know you are capable of doing so

 **HANZO:** Thank you.

 **HANZO:** I am not entirely sure I deserve your advice on the matter but I appreciate that you would give it nonetheless.

 **HANZO:** There.

 **HANZO:** Was that a good display of tact and sensitivity.

 **GENJI:**  Yes until you asked

 **GENJI:** Do not worry about it

 **GENJI:** Youre a shitty person sometimes but at least youre trying

 **GENJI:** I guess

 **HANZO:** I guess.

* * *

**\-- INSUFFERABLE PRICKS --**

**REAPER:** @SOMBRA where are you.

 **SOMBRA:** ay cant you just text me

 **REAPER:** no. i know youre in this chat.

 **SOMBRA:** Ok, true

 **SOMBRA:** SO whats the problem now?

 **REAPER:** nothing. why are you here.

 **SOMBRA:** bored

 **SOMBRA:** Can you really ask that? Amelie’s in here. You’re in here.

 **WIDOWMAKER:** It’s Amélie.

 **SOMBRA:** lol whatever

 **GENJI:** None of you should be here

 **GENJI:** Gabe can stay but only because jack and i are dating him

 **GENJI:** The rest of you can leave

 **TRACER:** no!!

 **GENJI:** Why not

 **TRACER:** theyre entertaining arent they?

 **TRACER:** the more the merrier!

 **WINSTON:** This is supposed to be a secure chat.

 **WINSTON:** For Overwatch agents only.

 **WIDOWMAKER:** And look how that turned out. does it really matter at this point what happens?

 **WINSTON:** Not to you, clearly.

 **REAPER:** whatever. youre not kicking us out.

 **TRACER:** just let em stay winston

 **TRACER:** theyre not doing any harm... theyre just chatting like the rest of us

 **SYMMETRA:** They’ve done more chatting than a lot of ‘the rest of us’.

 **TRACER:** so theyll fill in the blanks for you when you dont chat!!

 **D.VA:** and you can spend more time making art

 **SYMMETRA:** Yes, I suppose that is one way to look at it. Even if your logic is flawed.

 **SYMMETRA:** @D.VA: I finished a sculpture recently, and I believe you would like it.

 **D.VA:** ooh ill come check it out!!

 **SYMMETRA:** I will be in my gallery.

 **D.VA:** sick :heart:

 **D.VA:** ill swing by after dinner

 **SYMMETRA:** Alright.

 **JUNKRAT:** THIS CHAT WAS A MESS TO START WITH

 **JUNKRAT:** WHO CARES IF THERE ARE ENEMIES IN HERE

 **ANA:** poster boy jack morrison would have a fit

 **SOLDIER: 76:** maybe ten years ago.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** now, i couldn’t care less.

 **ANA:** oh how age changes us

 **SOMBRA:** im sure none of you will mind my presence

 **PHARAH:** How can you be so sure?

 **SOMBRA:** i have secrets

 **MERCY:** What do you mean?

 **REAPER:** oh boy. sombra just leave them alone.

 **GENJI:** Gabe takes a stand for overwatch

 **REAPER:** thats not it. i know some of these things. i dont want to hear them again.

 **PHARAH:** Hmm.

 **HANZO:** Is that supposed to be a reassurance or a warning.

 **REAPER:** the latter.

 **TRACER:** ooh this sounds good

 **TRACER:** well a bunch of us are in the commons

 **TRACER:** stream time maybe? ;)

 **MCCREE:** aight

 **MCCREE:** im leavin

 **TRACER:** where are you going, love?

 **MCCREE:** my momma says i gotta come home right now immediately

 **ANA:** oh no you dont

 **SOMBRA:** @MCCREE

 **SOMBRA:** daddy kink

 **MCCREE:** GOODBYE YALL IM GONE

 **REAPER:** christ.

 **HANZO:** ...

 **GENJI:** あああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああ

 **GENJI:** 笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑

 **GENJI:** I hear jesse crying

 **TRACER:** im recording too :)

 **TRACER:** wow 200 viewers already!

 **D.VA:** ill rt the stream post hold on

 **HANZO:** Ok.

 **HANZO:** I am also leaving.

 **HANZO:** Good bye.

 **D.VA:** :pray::pray::pray::pray::pray:

 **MERCY:** @HANZO: So which one of you calls the other ‘daddy’?

 **HANZO:** Angela stop.

 **SOMBRA:** @MERCY

 **MERCY:** No, wait. Wait.

 **PHARAH:** Oh no.

 **SOMBRA:** @PHARAH

 **SOMBRA:** mommy kink

 **D.VA:** ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

 **GENJI:** 笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑

 **TRACER:** oh my goodness

 **MERCY:** I must go.

 **PHARAH:** I am also going to go now.

 **GENJI:** I CANT STOP LAUGHING

 **REAPER:** this is a mess. why did you have to do this sombra.

 **SOMBRA:** @REAPER

 **REAPER:** stop.

 **REAPER:** dont you dare.

 **D.VA:** OH WHATS NEXT

 **SOMBRA:** nothing

 **SOMBRA:** ‘papi’

 **GENJI:** Ajlkdsjglksdglsjghldvmdslsmgblkdfmgldmsdglkmldgfjvsdlkhbmdflkvfdmldfmgd

 **REAPER:** why.

 **TRACER:** haha look at jack giving jesse a pat

 **TRACER:** hes just lying there on the floor!

 **TRACER:** poor lad

 **GENJI:** And there goes gabe

 **GENJI:** Lying next to him

 **GENJI:** Like father like son

 **D.VA:** dont you mean

 **D.VA:** like daddy like son

 **GENJI:** I

 **SOMBRA:** rofl

 **TRACER:** this is too good!!!

 **SOMBRA:** @TRACER

 **TRACER:** wait no

 **SOMBRA:** How many times have you asked Amelie to step on you?


	37. LOG 16: PART 3/4

**\-- INSUFFERABLE PRICKS --**

**GENJI:** Lena whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

 **TRACER:** HEY

 **TRACER:** THATS PRIVATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **WIDOWMAKER:** Merde.

 **MERCY:** You two are together?

 **WIDOWMAKER:** None of your business.

 **MCCREE:** saw this comin from a mile away

 **GENJI:** As did i

 **TRACER:** shut up genji you already knew!!

 **GENJI:** Yes well our talon visits together have been a wonderful bonding experience

 **SOMBRA:** you left your jacket here, by the way.

 **GENJI:** Oh

 **GENJI:** Should i come pick it up now

 **SOMBRA:** i can just keep it for you until your next visit

 **SOMBRA:** Do you know where my workroom is?

 **GENJI:** Yes sixth floor

 **SOMBRA:** i’ll leave it in there

 **GENJI:** Thank you

 **MCCREE:** genji stop being friends with the talon agents

 **GENJI:** It is too late for that now jesse

 **REAPER:** very late.

 **MCCREE:** i mean besides gabriel

 **SOMBRA:** i’m friends with him too

 **MCCREE:** but

 **MCCREE:** how the hell did that happen

 **GENJI:** I spend a lot of time at talon hq

 **WINSTON:** Genji...

 **GENJI:** I am sorry winston

 **GENJI:** Sombra is cooler than most of you

 **SOMBRA:** “most”

 **GENJI:** You are not cooler than captain amari

 **ANA:** hahahahahahahaha

 **ANA:** damn right

 **SOMBRA:** >:T

 **GENJI:** Hey hold on

 **GENJI:** Hold on

 **GENJI:** HATTORI NO

 **TRACER:** whats wrong love?

 **GENJI:** My spirit dragon

 **TRACER:** did you summon it? :P

 **GENJI:** No if i did i would not be yelling

 **GENJI:** Though it is not uncommon for him to misbehave

 **MCCREE:** what the hell genji

 **MCCREE:** keep your dragon in check

 **D.VA:** no this is hilarious

 **D.VA:** lets just have a GIANT SPIRIT DRAGON running around base

 **GENJI:** Oh he is not so big when i am not channelling him like on the battlefield

 **GENJI:** He is in his smaller and more compact form now

 **GENJI:** He is being a nuisance

 **HANZO:** Mine have gone also.

 **GENJI:** Oh my goodness

 **GENJI:** Why anija

 **HANZO:** They likely sensed yours out and wanted to join him why else do you think.

 **HANZO:** They are normally well-behaved.

 **D.VA:** do your dragons have names too?

 **HANZO:** Yes.

 **GENJI:** They all have names

 **HANZO:** Hikaru and Shikibu.

 **GENJI:** Hikaru is the grumpy one

 **D.VA:** wow so hes just like hanzo?

 **GENJI:** Shikibu is generally more agreeable

 **D.VA:** wow so hes not like hanzo at all?

 **HANZO:** She.

 **D.VA:** oops

 **D.VA:** she*

 **REAPER:** your spirit dragons have personalities.

 **GENJI:** Yes they are rather powerful

 **GENJI:** This is related to their ability to manifest themselves as partially corporeal constructs in our world

 **D.VA:** what

 **MCCREE:** get this magic crap outta here

 **SOMBRA:** That makes sense.

 **REAPER:** and they have genders.

 **GENJI:** More than hanzo and myself haha am i right

 **GENJI:** Up top

 **HANZO:** No.

 **GENJI:** Rude

 **HANZO:**  Whatever.

 **HANZO:** Anyway.

 **HANZO:** They are beings in their own right.

 **MERCY:** They’re getting in the pantry.

 **HANZO:** Shit.

 **MERCY:** Do something about it.

 **HANZO:** Ok.

 **GENJI:** Lets go

 **MERCY:** If they eat any of my snacks, I swear...

 **GENJI:** They wont

 **GENJI:** I hope they wont

 **GENJI:** Ok wed better hurry

 **HANZO:** Yes.

 **SOMBRA:** you recovered from the weird kink sharing session quick

 **MERCY:** My snacks are an important topic.

 **TRACER:** yeah dont fuck with angie and her chocolate!!

 **SOMBRA:** I know that

 **SOMBRA:** she turned your whole base over looking for it.

 **WINSTON:** It happens.

 **ANA:** lol

 **WINSTON:** Well, it doesn’t happen, but what matters is that we have Ana with us again.

 **ANA:** thx

 **ANA:** hold on what was that noise

 **WINSTON:** That was loud.

 **SYMMETRA:** Did somebody drop something?

 **REINHARDT:** im just trying to eat my sandwich

 **REINHARDT:** i think it came from the kitchen?

 **TRACER:** isnt that where genji and hanzo just went

 **REAPER:** yes.

 **MERCY:** Oh dear.

 **MERCY:** Jesse tried to stop the dragons from getting into the snacks.

 **MERCY:** The cabinet is broken. It fell.

 **MERCY:** I think...

 **MERCY:** I think Jesse’s unconscious.

 **JUNKRAT:** I NEED TO SEE THIS

 **ANA:** same wtf

 **ANA:** he just got knocked out by three small noodles

 **TRACER:** happens to the best of us ;P

 **WINSTON:** No, it really doesn’t.

 **TRACER:** last weeks team kill zarya ult would say otherwise luv!!!!!

 **WINSTON:** Alright, listen.

 **TRACER:** :)

 **WINSTON:** Is Jesse alright? Maybe we should take him to the infirmary.

 **MERCY:** I’m sure he’ll be fine.

 **MERCY:** His pulse is still active, at least.

 **MERCY:** I was going to say not to crowd the kitchen, but I can already see most of you outside.

 **JUNKRAT:** I WANNA SEE

 **ANA:** yeah i wanna give each of those spirit dragons a fist bump

 **ANA:** do people still do those

 **REAPER:** sometimes.

 **ANA:** ok good

 **ANA:** wouldnt wanna be outta touch with the modern age

 **REAPER:** i cant imagine anything worse.

 **SOLDIER: 76:** neither can i.

 **D.VA:** old people are so lame

 **D.VA:** anyway jesse will be FINE the dragons arent even in their dangerous forms!!

 **SYMMETRA:** I wonder how they incapacitated him, though.

 **SYMMETRA:** It’s vexing.

 **GENJI:** Small form does not mean powerless form satya

 **GENJI:** They are still rather powerful

 **GENJI:** Though not in the same way we use them on the battlefield

 **SYMMETRA:**  Intriguing.

 **GENJI:** Anyway jesses not dead

 **SOMBRA:** a shame

 **REAPER:** brutal.

 **WIDOWMAKER:** But she has a point. it really is a shame.

 **WINSTON:** Alright, you three can just get out.

 **REAPER:** no.

 **SOMBRA:** nah

 **WIDOWMAKER:** Non.

 **WINSTON:** ...

 **WINSTON:** You know I can ban you, right?

 **SOMBRA:** I’ll just unban us

 **SOMBRA:** THEN whatll you do

 **WINSTON:** I don’t know.

 **SOMBRA:** thats what i thought.

 **SOMBRA:** Anyway, let’s get some good pics of Jesse knocked out for the scrapbook.

 **JUNKRAT:** WHAT SCRAPBOOK

 **ZARYA:** You are making a scrapbook?

 **SOMBRA:** someone’s gotta do it

 **TRACER:** were not taking pictures for you!!!!

 **SOMBRA:** why not?

 **TRACER:** because youre with the enemy

 **TRACER:** isnt that reason enough?? :/

 **SOMBRA:** That depends, do you want to be blackmailed like the others

 **WIDOWMAKER:** Leave the agents alone, Sombra. we have work to do and we’ve wasted too much time here.

 **SOMBRA:** fine. But only because you asked so nicely in defence of your girlfriend.

 **TRACER:** oh sod off

 **SOMBRA:** Hey i’m trying to be generous here!

 **SOMBRA:** Dont make it harder than it needs to be

 **SOMBRA:**  You are so ungrateful.

 **ANA:** stop arguing with the talon agents lena

 **ANA:** theyre not worth your time

 **SOMBRA:**  rude.

 **ANA:** whatever

 **MERCY:** Jesse is fine. Hanzo and Genji are... working on the dragons issue.

 **MERCY:** It’s not going all that well.

 **REINHARDT:** you dont need to update us were all here

 **MEI:** Yeah, you can take care of him.

 **MEI:** He must be getting cold on the floor.

 **MERCY:** He looks so peaceful.

 **MERCY:** I want a selfie first.

 **PHARAH:** I’ll take a picture for you.

 **MERCY:** Thank you. :)

 **JUNKRAT:** WAIT I WANT IN

 **REINHARDT:** me too

 **MERCY:** Alright, alright. Everyone, stop looking at the chat, and get in!

* * *

  **\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: @D.VA & @LÚCIO --**

 **LÚCIO:** so they’re all occupied?

 **D.VA:** yup i just left

 **D.VA:** theyre taking a group picture with jesse now

 **LÚCIO:** wow, is he still out? i hope he’s okay.

 **D.VA:** angie said hell be fine

 **D.VA:** dw

 **D.VA:** i cant believe this plan worked

 **LÚCIO:** neither can i!

 **LÚCIO:** it seemed so far-fetched, but we’ve come so far since joking about it. :)

 **D.VA:** im gonna go fetch gameboy brb

 **LÚCIO:** alright.

 **D.VA:** ok im back

 **D.VA:** i missed him so much

 **D.VA:** im so glad we did this holy shit

 **D.VA:** even if it took us this long

 **D.VA:** my wonderful cat

 **D.VA:** my gorgeous munchkin

 **D.VA:** hes so soft you gotta visit my room

 **LÚCIO:** sure! good thing my dogs don’t mind other pets, otherwise they wouldn’t be happy to smell cat on me.

 **D.VA:** take pics of them!!

 **LÚCIO:** i’ll send you a vid in a bit.

 **LÚCIO:** lucia and fausto are already asleep. beet won’t stop whining, though.

 **LÚCIO:** i think they missed me, too.

 **D.VA:** ofc they did

 **LÚCIO:** man, i love my dogs.

 **D.VA:** can you believe the shimadas agreed to this

 **D.VA:** and by that i mean

 **D.VA:** can you believe hanzo agreed to this

 **D.VA:** i really didnt think hed help us

 **LÚCIO:** i had faith in him. :)

 **LÚCIO:** besides, genji told us he has pets, too, didn’t he?

 **D.VA:** oh yeah... i almost forgot

 **D.VA:** i STILL dont know what his pets are

 **D.VA:** he wont be fetching them until later anyway

 **D.VA:** everyone got the memo right

 **LÚCIO:** yeah, everyone responded to the group chat.

 **LÚCIO:** we planned this out pretty well.

 **LÚCIO:** it’s 11:03 now, so it’s going fine.

 **LÚCIO:** when they’re done keeping jack, winston, and angela occupied, we’ll move to phase 2.

 **D.VA:** phase 2 sounds so cool

 **D.VA:** anyway satya and torb will distract winston

 **D.VA:** fareeha and gabe will distract angie and jack

 **LÚCIO:** yep, they’re good to go.

 **D.VA:** im so glad satya agreed too

 **LÚCIO:** well, she’s helping mostly because you asked.

 **D.VA:** i know isnt it great

 **LÚCIO:** it’s very gay.

 **D.VA:** shut up!!!! maybe it is!!!!!

 **LÚCIO:** :)

 **D.VA:** but uh

 **D.VA:** thanks for setting aside your differences for this

 **LÚCIO:** there are a lot of differences, and it won’t be easy to resolve them.

 **LÚCIO:** but this is a cause that we needed help with.

 **D.VA:** yeah

 **D.VA:** im crying tbh

 **D.VA:** gameboy is purring

 **LÚCIO:** aww.

 **D.VA:** ok jesse should be waking up soon

 **D.VA:** the people in the chat are dispersing

 **LÚCIO:** sounds good.

 **D.VA:** lets roll

 **LÚCIO:** roger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ [dragons](http://draekon.tumblr.com/post/153971532455/hanzo-and-genjis-noodles-from-the-stream-follow)
> 
> [aven](http://oceanlazulis.tumblr.com) named d.va's cat gameboy :)


	38. LOG 16: PART 4/4

**\-- INSUFFERABLE PRICKS --**

**GENJI:** Hattori scratched me

 **MERCY:** You’ll be fine.

 **GENJI:** It was rude

 **HANZO:** Hilarious.

 **GENJI:** Rude

 **ZARYA:** I find it hard to believe that would hurt a cyborg.

 **GENJI:** It hurt my feelings

 **MEI:** Aww, Genji, I’m sure he still loves you.

 **GENJI:** I know but it was still rude

 **GENJI:** Anyway where did the others go

 **TRACER:** gabriels with jack

 **TRACER:** fareeha and angela went to bed

 **TRACER:** satya and torb went to talk to winston about engineering stuff

 **TRACER:** sounded like itd take awhile! ;P

 **GENJI:** What

 **GENJI:** OH

 **GENJI:** Ok is jesse up yet

 **HANZO:** Yes.

 **MCCREE:** howdy

 **GENJI:** We have fifteen minutes lets get going

 **TRACER:** im already done :)

 **MEI:** Use the other chat, guys.

 **SYMMETRA:** It does not matter much at this point, anyway.

 **SOMBRA:** ohh you guys are finishing that little project now?

 **TRACER:** can you stop poking into our messages??

 **SOMBRA:** no

 **SOMBRA:** They’re funny.

 **TRACER:** :/

 **WIDOWMAKER:** What a breach of privacy. embarrassing.

 **TRACER:** yeah no help from you!!!

 **WIDOWMAKER:** I have no reason to help you. not when the others are around.

 **TRACER:**  sure you dont

 **TRACER:** thats why talons spending its agents time reading ow chat logs

 **TRACER:** really productive!!

* * *

  **\-- SNEAKING PETS IN CHAT 2K76 --**

 **JUNKRAT:** I GOT MY RATS AND OPOSSUMS AND MOUSE

 **JUNKRAT:** THANK YOU

 **JUNKRAT:** I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

 **D.VA:** remember to wash them!!

 **JUNKRAT:** THEYRE CLEANER THAN I AM ON THE FIELD DONT WORRY

 **D.VA:** oh... well wash them anyway

 **D.VA:** everyone needs to keep their pets well groomed!

 **REINHARDT:** i have my dogs and their litter

 **REINHARDT:** i missed them.

 **D.VA:** remember to show us later gramps :)

 **REINHARDT:** of course

 **ROADHOG:** got my pig.

 **D.VA:** good!!

 **TORBJÖRN:** I have my two cats with me.

 **ZENYATTA:** Many of the cats I’ve cared for still dwell in their respective homes across the globe, but I brought my cat Peyak.

 **PHARAH:** I have my Doberman!

 **PHARAH:** His name is Wala'.

 **MEI:** I have Blizzard, my fluffy white cat. :)

 **GENJI:** Ok i got my bearded dragon and my cats

 **GENJI:** I love my cats

 **MCCREE:** my dog

 **MCCREE:** holy cow i missed my dog

 **MCCREE:** i love my dog

 **MCCREE:** wasnt easy in the past year but im so glad i met her and now shes here

 **ANA:** i got my cat and my snake

 **MCCREE:** since when dyou have a snake

 **ANA:** i was lying low for awhile taking care of shams and ghim gave me something to do

 **MCCREE:** oh well thats pretty neat actually

 **TRACER:** i got my puppy!!

 **TRACER:** my cousin was taking care of her and shes grown so much...

 **MCCREE:** heck yeah another dog owner

 **MCCREE:** whats her name

 **TRACER:** biscuit :)

 **MCCREE:** that is adorable

 **MCCREE:** my dogs name is java

 **TRACER:** the language or coffee?

 **MCCREE:** coffee

 **MCCREE:** i like coffee

 **SOMBRA:** You know... Angela, Jack, and Winston have pets, too.

 **SOMBRA:** they also have better self control than the rest of you, clearly. because they wouldn't house their pets here.

 **D.VA:** hey! they didn’t agree on the pet thing so i took matters into my own hands!

 **SOMBRA:** and you succeeded, didnt you

 **SOMBRA:** so good job.

 **MEI:** What are their pets?

 **SOMBRA:** Angela has a very well-trained German shepherd she-dog, Dame, and a sweet cat, Blühen.

 **SOMBRA:** Jack has a friendly dog, Carter.

 **SOMBRA:** Winston has a young cat, Milky Way.

 **D.VA:** where do they stay?

 **SOMBRA:** various places

 **SOMBRA:** they’re fine where they are.

 **D.VA:** hm

 **D.VA:** well if they end up staying here the more the merrier

 **ANA:** not all animals get along

 **D.VA:** this facility is pretty big

 **D.VA:** well find a way to make it work

 **PHARAH:** You are a rather lax member of the military.

 **D.VA:** yeah well i love my cat a lot

 **D.VA:** and i know everyone loves their pets a lot too

 **D.VA:** being a part of ow isnt like being a part of the exo-force

 **SOMBRA:** nor talon i’m sure.

 **SOMBRA:** We can’t all have our pets with us, you know. not all of you can bring all your pets.

 **ZARYA:** I am not bringing a bear into this facility.

 **TRACER:** thats quitter talk love :)

 **D.VA:** pffffft

 **D.VA:** @SOMBRA what are the talon agents pets?

 **SOMBRA:** Gabe has a pair of cats and barn owls. Don’t ask me how he has barn owls or why they follow him around.

 **SOMBRA:** Amélie has a tarantula and a few kittens from Gabe’s pair of cats.

 **SOMBRA:** I have a kitten from Gabe’s pair of cats.

 **SYMMETRA:** I have my cat now.

 **SYMMETRA:** Her name is Kera.

 **D.VA:** show us later!  <3

 **SYMMETRA:** Of course.

 **D.VA:** wait satya wasnt hanzo supposed to go with you

 **LÚCIO:** hanzo’s the last one.

 **D.VA:** did we choose to do the secret thing or the reveal thing for angie winston and jack

 **LÚCIO:** you’re about to find out. :)

 **D.VA:** ...what

 **ROADHOG:** i heard someone scream.

 **D.VA:** angie??

 **GENJI:** No

 **GENJI:** It was jack

 **GENJI:** But i expect we will be hearing from angela shortly

 **D.VA:** what?????????

* * *

**\-- INSUFFERABLE PRICKS --**

**MERCY:** WHO THE FUCK LET HANZO BRING TWO LIVE FULL-GROWN ADULT WOLVES INTO THE FACILITY.

 **D.VA:** oh

 **D.VA:** ohhhhhhhhh

 **D.VA:** i get it now

 **LÚCIO:** yup.

 **REAPER:** jack fainted.

 **GENJI:** Not my fault

 **D.VA:** whoops

 **LÚCIO:** whoops.

 **HANZO:** Whoops.


	39. LOG 17: PART 1/6: HOLIDAYS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. FIRST THINGS FIRST: [GENJICADO MADE SOME REALLY GOOD ART CHECK IT OUT FORGOT TO LINK IT LAST LOG BECAUSE I SUCK BUT GO LOOK IT NOW IT’S GOOD DON’T TALK TO GENJI OR HIS 40 BOYFRIENDS OR 40 GIRLFRIENDS EVER AGAIN](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/152786846966/genjicado-headcanon-genji-has-a-lot-of)
> 
> 2\. ‘your ana is too ooc’ [idk abt that](http://ubercharge.co.vu/post/154571333786/i-love-her)
> 
> 3\. yoav made a cool [xmas song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0KxiP0Xgtc) (even tho he’s jewish) and i thought it’d be fitting to link it for this log //

**\-- GENJI renamed group from INSUFFERABLE PRICKS to FESTIVE PRICKS --**

**D.VA:** is there going to be a party for the holidays too? :o

**GENJI:** Maybe

**SOLDIER: 76:** a lot of us just used this time to relax.

**SOLDIER: 76:** agents who weren’t on duty usually went home or on vacation.

**SOLDIER: 76:** so whoever was around for the holidays had actual work to do.

**D.VA:** hmm

**D.VA:** so how should we celebrate??

**REAPER:** liao did a lot of singing.

**SOLDIER: 76:** don’t remind me.

**ANA:** oh liao was a riot

**ANA:** a very loud riot

**ANA:** remember the year lena bought him a megaphone as a gift

**TRACER:** :P

**TORBJÖRN:** That was a bad year.

**MCCREE:** sure do

**MCCREE:** gives me shivers just thinkin about it

**REAPER:** unfortunately. i do remember.

**SOLDIER: 76:** i don’t think i was there.

**REINHARDT:** i bought everyone else earplugs

**ANA:** our hero

**ANA:**  liao had a bunch of international missions

**ANA:** whenever possible hed pick up holiday songs

**ANA:** then when the winter holidays rolled around here

**ANA:** and hed always stay in europe usually gibraltar for the winter holidays

**ANA:** well

**ANA:** december 1st all the way up to mid january or so was SINGING time

**SOLDIER: 76:** sometimes he’d sing things on repeat.

**SOLDIER: 76:** it was terrible when he had a fixation on one particular song.

**SOLDIER: 76:** there was a year he sang mariah carey’s ‘all i want for christmas is you’ for three weeks straight.

**GENJI:** I was ready to kick him off the cliff at that point

**MERCY:** As was I.

**MERCY:** At least you can turn your hearing off, Genji.

**GENJI:** Yes but its not good to do that

**GENJI:** Besides everyone had funny reactions

**GENJI:** I was torn between not listening to liao and listening to the other agents screaming

**REINHARDT:** it was day after day of mariah carey.

**REINHARDT:** just when you were thinking maybe hed stop or switch songs...

**REINHARDT:** if you were close enough youd hear from his phone the introduction to the song

**REINHARDT:** the bells dinging

**ANA:** then hed start

**MCCREE:** iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

**PHARAH:** Don’t want a lot for Christmas.

**REAPER:** there is just one thing i need.

**MEI:** I don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree. :)

**MERCY:** I just want you for my own.

**SOLDIER: 76:** more than you could ever know.

**TORBJÖRN:** Make my wish come truuuue.

**WINSTON:** All I want for Christmas...

**TRACER:** iiiIIIIIIiiisssssssssssssssssssssssss

**GENJI:** **_Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu_**

**WINSTON:** I haven’t heard that song since he stopped singing it that year.

**TORBJÖRN:** Neither have I, but I can’t forget it.

**MERCY:** Let’s not speak of Mariah Carey.

**JUNKRAT:** WOW IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU GUYS HAVE SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS WITH THAT SONG

**REAPER:** its so catchy.

**GENJI:** Sing it to me

**REAPER:** maybe later.

**SOLDIER: 76:** i don’t want to be there when you do it. if i have to hear that song in full ever again, i don’t know what i’ll do.

**PHARAH:** You say that like your hearing isn’t going.

**SOLDIER: 76:** hey, my hearing’s fine, most of the time.

**PHARAH:** Well that explains why you didn’t hear Genji’s ult line last week.

**PHARAH:** He was right behind you.

**SOLDIER: 76:** there was a lot going on in the voice comm.

**SOLDIER: 76:** lena wouldn’t stop calling out her pulse bomb being ready.

**TRACER:** hey!!! zarya asked!!!!!

**TRACER:** we like to combo you know that  >:/

**ZARYA:** I did ask, old man.

**SOLDIER: 76:** oh, whatever.

**WINSTON:** Well, jabs aside...

**WINSTON:** If anyone would like to decorate the base, be my guest.

**SYMMETRA:** It may be difficult to coordinate all of the different holidays.

**SOLDIER: 76:** yeah, that was usually an issue in the past, too.

**SOLDIER: 76:** people would do their own thing if they felt like decorating or organizing anything.

**TORBJÖRN:** I would, if the decorations weren’t so flammable.

**REINHARDT:** maybe youll have better luck this year

**TORBJÖRN:** I guess I’ll find out.

**WINSTON:** Try not to burn anything this time, please.

**HANZO:** What has happened in the past.

**GENJI:** Oh so many things

**MCCREE:** well i had this lil tree

**MCCREE:** just a pine sapling mind you

**MCCREE:** it caught on fire

**D.VA:** what happened???

**MCCREE:** to this day i still dont know

**MCCREE:** but i remember the ashes

**D.VA:** wow that sucks

**MCCREE:** yup

**GENJI:** You tell the stupid tree story every year

**GENJI:** At least the menorah survived

**MERCY:** To be fair, it’s supposed to be on fire.

**MERCY:** The candle wicks, at least.

**MERCY:** It was for the best that we set it where nobody could knock it over from some haphazard scurrying around the base.

**TRACER:** that only happened once :(

**MCCREE:** haha scurrying

**GENJI:** Well that wasnt so destructive

**GENJI:** You know i dont mind hanukkah or christmas or kwanzaa or yule or omisoka or the feast day of our lady of guadalupe or even st lucia day when torbjorns elaborate straw goat sets off half the fire alarms or any of the other holidays and celebrations and feasts

**GENJI:** The worst

**GENJI:** The absolute worst is boxing week

**JUNKRAT:** WHYS THAT MATE

**TRACER:** dont even get us started!!!

**SOLDIER: 76:** the darkest days of the holiday scramble.

**MERCY:** Gerard and his shopping list.

**WIDOWMAKER:** It’s Gérard.

**WIDOWMAKER:** And I remember the shopping list. he would plan for the holiday sales months in advance.

**WIDOWMAKER:** It was admirable.

**PHARAH:** It was amazing what he’d do and who he’d punch for a stick of RAM.

**REINHARDT:** he was dedicated

**REINHARDT:** an unstoppable force.

**MCCREE:** boxing weeks bad enough

**MCCREE:** i think somethin that made it worse was genjis annual holiday contests

**GENJI:** Everyone loves my contests

**MCCREE:** well yeah cause youre givin away money and cool stuff

**MCCREE:** but lord did you get people riled up

**GENJI:** I would be doing that regardless of festivities

**REAPER:** can confirm.

**MCCREE:** alright listen up you nasty NASTY folks

**REAPER:** rude.

**GENJI:** Rude

**HANZO:** Hilarious.

**GENJI:** Youre nasty too

**HANZO:** Rude.

**MCCREE:** rude

**REAPER:** hilarious.

**MCCREE:** dont you remember the things you said

**MCCREE:** gettin genji to sleep with you

**MCCREE:** way back in the old chat logs

**GENJI:** I do

**MCCREE:** no shit

**TRACER:** i bet you say things like that too luv!!

**MCCREE:** i most definitely do not

**MCCREE:** spanish dirty talk aint my thing

**GENJI:** Not like you get to talk much in bed

**MCCREE:** genji

**GENJI:** You know

**MCCREE:** genji shut

**GENJI:** With the ball gag

**MCCREE:** i swear to the lord above

**HANZO:** やめろ. 

**REAPER:** what about sombra.

**SOMBRA:** No.

**SOMBRA:** I’m not as filthy as you.

**REAPER:** ok. figured.

**REAPER:** amelie though.

**WIDOWMAKER:** It’s Amélie.

**REAPER:** you do it.

**WIDOWMAKER:** None of your business.

**GENJI:** Oh ive heard of that

**GENJI:** Im not great with the french language pack

**GENJI:** Amelie uses weird slang that doesnt work well with my translator

**GENJI:** Very filthy slang

**WIDOWMAKER:** That is still none of your business.

**TRACER:** well ANYWAY!!!!!!!

**TRACER:** ill help decorate

**TRACER:** we still have some decorations around the base im sure!!

**D.VA:** ooh ill help

**D.VA:** itd be cool to see the base decorated!

**LÚCIO:** agreed. :)

**SOLDIER: 76:** there should be boxes of decorations in one of the storage rooms. most of them are lights, i think.

**ZENYATTA:** What else is done to celebrate?

**TRACER:** one of the best things about the holidays if you were in base was getting to enjoy a lot of different holidays!!

**TRACER:** but uh

**TRACER:** games and stuff would get pretty competitive :(

**GENJI:** I almost singlehandedly got the dreidel game banned once

**GENJI:** It was one of the few years i was in the facility for the winter holidays

**MCCREE:** yeah but you made your mark

**GENJI:** I did

**GENJI:** I made the game more interesting by adding a lot of money

**GENJI:** Also a lot of people were drinking

**GENJI:** So it was funny

**MCCREE:** the pot would get pretty big

**MCCREE:** everyone would be watching the spinning top like a goddamn hawk

**GENJI:** Well that tradition was not my fault

**GENJI:** Gerard started it

**WIDOWMAKER:** It’s Gérard. but that does sound like him.

**GENJI:** Weve played until the dawn came

**GENJI:** Those were some long nights

**GENJI:** Very intense but very fun


	40. LOG 17: PART 2/6: HOLIDAYS

**\-- FESTIVE PRICKS --**

**D.VA:** so what about dinner?

**D.VA:** i think a lot of the holidays fall on different days

**REAPER:** whenever we had time.

**REAPER:** could be on any day in december or early january.

**D.VA:** why are you even answering my questions

**REAPER:** bored.

**GENJI:** You have to come of course

**REAPER:** im here a lot of the time anyway.

**GENJI:** Does talon celebrate anything

**REAPER:** dont know. dont care.

**WIDOWMAKER:** We do. its rather formal.

**REAPER:** sounds boring.

**SOMBRA:** sounds boring

**WIDOWMAKER:** It is, but the food is good.

**ZARYA:** And what about our food?

**ZARYA:** I would hope that we’re having a dinner this year.

**SOLDIER: 76:** of course.

**TRACER:** what kind of self respecting military organization doesnt have a holiday dinner ;P

**SOLDIER: 76:** i’m pretty sure winston’s already started working on it.

**WINSTON:** Several people volunteered, actually.

**WINSTON:** I think they’re excited for the holidays, too. It’s nice to see!

**PHARAH:** I didn’t. I can’t cook anything interesting.

**MCCREE:** its okay fareeha ill be helping with dinner

**MCCREE:** im gonna do a turkey

**GENJI:** Bad idea

**PHARAH:** Jesse, no.

**REAPER:** do not.

**MERCY:** I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jesse.

**TRACER:** dont do the turkey

**REINHARDT:** please dont.

**MEI:** I agree with the others. You really shouldn’t do the turkey.

**TORBJÖRN:** Do not do the turkey. 

**MCCREE:** im doin the turkey

**HANZO:** Well regardless of Jesse’s bad food decisions I also volunteered to help.

**HANZO:** I will be making chicken and some dessert but I am open to requests.

**GENJI:** Finish me off

**HANZO:** Later.

**GENJI:** You know what

**D.VA:** can you make mashed potatoes

**HANZO:** Yes.

**D.VA:** please make mashed potatoes

**HANZO:** Ok.

**REINHARDT:** gross. why

**D.VA:** i like mashed potatoes!!!

**GENJI:** Can you run my nodachi through my body killing me instantly

**HANZO:** Can you fuck off.

**GENJI:** You know what

**ZARYA:** I’ve decided I will be helping with the meal as well.

**ZARYA:** No requests, though.

**ZARYA:** I am sure there will be enough food on the table to satisfy everyone’s tastes.

**SYMMETRA:** I’m going to help with drinks, because everyone else forgot about drinks.

**GENJI:** I cant drink anything anyway

**GENJI:** Its hanzos fault

**HANZO:** Ok.

**GENJI:** This is no way to live

**GENJI:** Make the living stop happening

**HANZO:** Genji for fuck’s sake.

**GENJI:** You know what

**JUNKRAT:** I WAS GONNA BARBECUE BUT THE OTHERS TOOK ALL THE MEATS

**JUNKRAT:** SO THEY PUT ME ON VEGETABLE DUTY

**JUNKRAT:** I MAKE REALLY GOOD POTATO SALAD

**ANA:** im gonna help with dessert

**ANA:** im a dessert god

**JUNKRAT:** I HAVE TO MAKE OTHER VEGETABLE DISHES TOO

**JUNKRAT:** OVERWATCH IS REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT SALAD

**REINHARDT:** i didnt request salad

**JUNKRAT:** EVERY VEGETABLE DISH IS BASICALLY SALAD

**REINHARDT:** i dont think thats how it works.

**D.VA:** those baked potatoes we had last week arent salad

**JUNKRAT:** THEYRE **_BASICALLY_** SALAD

**GENJI:** I cant eat baked potatoes

**GENJI:** It is deeply upsetting

**GENJI:** Almost makes you wish

**HANZO:** Can you stop.

**HANZO:** You are being a nuisance.

**GENJI:** You know what

**D.VA:** oh my god

**MCCREE:** lord

**GENJI:** I cannot believe my own older brother just called me a nuisance

**HANZO:** Why are you doing this.

**HANZO:** We are trying to have a conversation about the holiday dinner plans.

**GENJI:** You have no idea how drunk i am right now

**HANZO:** I am not dealing with your inebriation.

**REAPER:** i would help but im at the store. buying snacks.

**HANZO:** Where did Jack go.

**REAPER:** if he doesnt have anything to do in the next 2 hours hes napping.

**HANZO:** Are you serious.

**REAPER:** do i look like the kind of person who makes jokes.

**HANZO:** No but you certainly embody the idea of being a joke.

**REAPER:** not what you were saying last night.

**MCCREE:** gabriel you cant just put that in the group chat

**MCCREE:** its before midnight

**TRACER:** yeah dont you remember satyas rule about nsfw tmi content ;P

**SYMMETRA:** Yes, don’t forget my rule.

**HANZO:** I was just trying to contribute to the conversation for once you people are the worst.

**GENJI:** There was so much vodka i couldnt resist

**JUNKRAT:** BUT YOU SAID YOU CANT DRINK

**GENJI:** I was kidding

**GENJI:** I can drink

**GENJI:** Though i cant eat

**GENJI:** That one wasnt a joke

**REINHARDT:** did someone just drop a plate

**REINHARDT:** i heard a loud crash

**SYMMETRA:** Hanzo, go tend to your drunk brother before he destroys the facility.

**HANZO:** No.

**REINHARDT:** another loud crash

**REINHARDT:** somethings happening

**MERCY:** Hanzo.

**HANZO:** Fine.


	41. LOG 17: PART 3/6: HOLIDAYS

**\-- DIRECT MESSAGES: SOMBRA@ & WIDOWMAKER@ --**

**SOMBRA:** so are you gonna be at the talon party

**WIDOWMAKER:** Of course. aren’t you?

**SOMBRA:** Yeah, i guess

**SOMBRA:** i don’t really want to go

**SOMBRA:** But Ill be there.

**WIDOWMAKER:** Why not? like I said earlier, the food is good.

**SOMBRA:** it seems like its gonna be boring

**SOMBRA:** I would prefer not to sit at a boring dinner for an hour.

**SOMBRA:** i’ll prolly crash the overwatch dinner

**SOMBRA:** At least THEY have entertainment

**SOMBRA:** what do we have??????

**WIDOWMAKER:** I’m not sure. it’s just a formal dinner. maybe a banquet.

**WIDOWMAKER:** They like to switch things up.

**WIDOWMAKER:** If Gabriel gets drunk enough, he might start pole dancing.

**SOMBRA:** yeah we can’t let THAT happen, now can we?

**SOMBRA:** but to be fair

**SOMBRA:** Itd be a lot more interesting than just dinner.

**SOMBRA:** maybe we should let him get drunk??

**WIDOWMAKER:** I’m just going for the dinner.

**WIDOWMAKER:** Selkirk makes the best pudding. I can’t miss it.

**SOMBRA:** wow the foods that good, huh

**SOMBRA:** Maybe i’ll come

**SOMBRA:** gabe gonna b there or not

**WIDOWMAKER:** Probably. he tries to make it to official functions, unlike you.

**SOMBRA:** well WHATEVER

**SOMBRA:** official functions are boring.

**SOMBRA:** They’re rarely relevant to me

**SOMBRA:** but, he wouldnt go if he didnt have to

**WIDOWMAKER:** That is true.

**WIDOWMAKER:** He tries to stay on his superiors’ good side, though. because of Genji.

**SOMBRA:** oh yeah genji

**SOMBRA:** What  _ do _ they think of our beloved cyborg, anyway?

**WIDOWMAKER:** An inconvenience. a distraction.

**WIDOWMAKER:** A potential well of information in relation to Overwatch.

**WIDOWMAKER:** Entertainment, sometimes.

**WIDOWMAKER:** Someone to test our knives on.

**SOMBRA:** Oh, but none of us would kill him

**WIDOWMAKER:** Of course not.

**WIDOWMAKER:** Fight, maybe. but if anyone hurt him, Gabriel wouldn’t be happy.

**WIDOWMAKER:** Everyone knows this.

**SOMBRA:** nobody can touch him

**SOMBRA:** we have nothing to worry about.

**WIDOWMAKER:** That’s not true. he’s had some close calls. some scrapes.

**WIDOWMAKER:** If we wanted him dead, he’d have died by now.

**WIDOWMAKER:** He’s lucky Gabriel likes him so much.

**SOMBRA:** Oh, give him some credit for staying alive.

**SOMBRA:** ur just salty bc he avoided your shots

**WIDOWMAKER:** I wasn’t aiming to land them.

**SOMBRA:** yea sure

**WIDOWMAKER:** You are insufferable.

**SOMBRA:** And your precious little girlfriend isnt?

**SOMBRA:** don’t be foolish, amy

**SOMBRA:** Genjis  _ proven _ himself hard to kill

**SOMBRA:** You better not let anyone catch Lena without your company.

**WIDOWMAKER:** I know. and it’s not as if we meet at HQ.

**WIDOWMAKER:** I’m playing it safe.

**SOMBRA:** how cute.

**WIDOWMAKER:** Don’t patronize me.

**SOMBRA:** hey, im just saying

**SOMBRA:** Hows her other girlfriend doing

**WIDOWMAKER:** Oh, she’s fine. Emily doesn’t visit HQ. she has no reason to.

**SOMBRA:** Let’s hope she’s never used against you two

**WIDOWMAKER:** That’s grim.

**SOMBRA:** funny, coming from  _ you. _

**SOMBRA:** Im sure they wouldnt capture emily

**SOMBRA:** she’s safer in england, right?

**WIDOWMAKER:** I would hope so.

**SOMBRA:** Would you?

**WIDOWMAKER:** Sombra, I like her just fine.

**WIDOWMAKER:** Do you understand how a polyamorous relationship works?

**SOMBRA:** hey, im just teasing

**SOMBRA:** ;)

**WIDOWMAKER:** Stop.

**WIDOWMAKER:** She’s a nice person.

**SOMBRA:** as if you care.

**WIDOWMAKER:** I don’t. not really. but Lena does care about her.

**WIDOWMAKER:** I can respect that. and I don’t mind it, either.

**SOMBRA:** cute

**SOMBRA:** gabe would be SO jealous of how well youre doing

**WIDOWMAKER:** I’m not sure about that. he’s been with his boyfriends for a decade or so.

**SOMBRA:** Yeah, that is a long time to be in a relationship.

**WIDOWMAKER:** Good for them. they’re basically married.

**SOMBRA:** anyway

**SOMBRA:** how does ur relationship WORK

**SOMBRA:** You don’t exactly have feelings.

**WIDOWMAKER:** I don’t know.

**SOMBRA:** wow.

**WIDOWMAKER:** Maybe I do have feelings. just not very many.

**WIDOWMAKER:** It’s complicated.

**SOMBRA:** Alright amy if you say so

**WIDOWMAKER:** Don’t call me Amy.

**SOMBRA:** hahahahahaha

**SOMBRA:** amy

* * *

**\-- FESTIVE PRICKS --**

**D.VA:** ugh

**D.VA:** does anyone know why the rec room smells so nasty??

**D.VA:** i was just trying to walk past

**D.VA:** i feel like ive been punched by smell

**HANZO:** Genji is in there.

**D.VA:** are you insulting him again

**HANZO:** No.

**ZENYATTA:** I believe the strong scent is from the acetone.

**D.VA:** acetone

**GENJI:** Im doing nails

**D.VA:** you dont have nails

**D.VA:** oh are you doing @HANZO’s??

**HANZO:** I can do my own nails thank you very much.

**D.VA:** sheesh

**D.VA:** sorry 

**D.VA:** didnt mean to imply you couldnt

**D.VA:** uh then whose

**MEI:** Mine.

**MEI:** I don’t want to be here.

**GENJI:** Listen you have a date later

**GENJI:** And you never do your nails

**MEI:** Yes I do!

**MEI:** Sometimes!

**GENJI:** Two layers of clear polish hardly counts

**MEI:** Your brother said they looked nice.

**HANZO:** You did fine but Genji has a point.

**MEI:** Wow.

**D.VA:** omg

**GENJI:** Anyway im painting something fancier

**ZENYATTA:** I’m recording.

**GENJI:** Youtube loves this shit

**GENJI:** Also its very therapeutic

**GENJI:** I used to paint mine and hanzos nails all the time

**GENJI:** I got pretty good at it

**D.VA:** thats neat!

**D.VA:** howd you paint em?

**GENJI:** Usually simple black and white

**GENJI:** Matte top coat obviously

**JUNKRAT:** YOU HAVE SHIT TASTE

**GENJI:** You know what

**HANZO:** You know what.

**JUNKRAT:** BOTH OF YOU HAVE AWFUL TASTE

**D.VA:** oh my god

**JUNKRAT:** SHINY GLOSSY CLEAR TOP COAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO MATES

**JUNKRAT:** DONT YOU FORGET IT

**GENJI:** Incorrect

**HANZO:** Incorrect as fuck.

**GENJI:** How dare you even speak to us

**HANZO:** Your audacity is unbelievable.

**GENJI:** Abhorrent opinions

**HANZO:** Such insolence.

**JUNKRAT:** @LÚCIO BACK ME UP

**MEI:** We don’t need to drag this out.

**JUNKRAT:** YES WE DO

**JUNKRAT:** WHERE IS HE

**LÚCIO:** sorry, i was helping bastion with the garden!

**LÚCIO:** it’s kinda chilly out, but the plants are still doing fine. :)

**BASTION:** 01100010 01100101 01100101 01110000 ! ヾ(*'▽'*)

**MEI:** That’s good to hear! I wish I could help you, but I have to sit here for another hour.

**LÚCIO:** aw, don’t worry about it. we got a lot done last week.

**LÚCIO:** anyway, @JUNKRAT, what’d you ping me for?

**JUNKRAT:** NAIL REASONS

**LÚCIO:** oh, yeah. we were going to do that, weren’t we?

**JUNKRAT:** YEAH ROADIE WONT SWITCH OFF THE CLASSIC BLACK

**JUNKRAT:** EVEN THOUGH ITS THE HOLIDAYS

**JUNKRAT:** @ROADHOG ARE YOU SURE YOU DONT WANT TO JOIN OUR MATCHING NAIL PARTY

**ROADHOG:** i’m sure.

**JUNKRAT:** BUT THEYRE GONNA LOOK SO COOL

**ROADHOG:** i’m not taking the black off.

**JUNKRAT:** CAN I PAY YOU TO DO IT

**ROADHOG:** no.

**JUNKRAT:** FINE

**JUNKRAT:** SEE WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH

**LÚCIO:** hey, it’s okay. they’ll still look cool with just the two of us.

**JUNKRAT:** YEAH THATS TRUE

**JUNKRAT:** WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT AGAIN

**GENJI:** Top coats

**HANZO:** You were professing your opinion.

**GENJI:** Your opinion is wrong by the way

**JUNKRAT:** NO ITS NOT

**HANZO:** Yes it is.

**GENJI:** Yes it is

**JUNKRAT:** GLOSSY TOP COAT IS THE WAY TO GO

**LÚCIO:** yeah, gotta dig the shine.

**JUNKRAT:** LÚCIO UNDERSTANDS WHY CANT YOU TWO UNDERSTAND TOO

**GENJI:** Because youre wrong

**HANZO:** Exactly.

**D.VA:** this is like the only thing you two agree on

**D.VA:** and its fucking nail polish top coats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ i can’t stop watching simplynailogical on youtube so have some nail polish discourse... didn’t think you’d find a plug for a nail art channel on a fucking overwatch chatfic didja... anyway i rarely watch videos/shows/movies because i just don’t have the patience to sit still for them. i don’t even spend time watching people like cr1tikal (and i would die for that man). but i’ve spent hours in the past week or two watching cristine’s videos. i don’t know. i’ve learned a lot about nail polish.
> 
> i don’t do my nails.


	42. LOG 17: PART 3/6: HOLIDAYS

**\-- FESTIVE PRICKS --**

**G** **ENJI:** This is an important topic

**HANZO:** We would not be able to get along if we did not agree on this important thing.

**D.VA:** but you two barely get along as is

**HANZO:** Irrelevant.

**GENJI:** Irrelevant

**D.VA:** you also dont have to repeat each others words its redundant

**GENJI:** Who cares

**HANZO:** Who cares.

**D.VA:** i see how it is

**MEI:** Are you done with my nails yet??

**MEI:** I still need to do the rest of my hair and makeup and get dressed, you know.

**GENJI:** Relax ill do your hair and makeup

**GENJI:** Itll take less time than nails

**MEI:** Oh. Well, thank you.

**GENJI:** No problem

**GENJI:** Now give me your other hand

**JUNKRAT:** WELL LÚCIO NOW WE HAVE TO DO COOLER NAILS THAN GENJI

**LÚCIO:** yeah, of course. but i thought we were gonna keep it simple?

**JUNKRAT:** OH

**JUNKRAT:** WELL SIMPLE CAN BE GOOD TOO

**JUNKRAT:** THEYLL STILL BE COOLER

**LÚCIO:** i look forward to it. :)

**JUNKRAT:** OK IM IN THE COMMON ROOM

**LÚCIO:** i’ll be there in a minute.

**JUNKRAT:** NICE

**D.VA:** so now i cant go in there either

**JUNKRAT:** WHAT YES YOU CAN

**JUNKRAT:** I PUT THE TV ON AND EVERYTHING

**D.VA:** i dont like the smell of acetone

**D.VA:** its super unpleasant to me

**D.VA:** but its ok!! i was gonna play metal gear anyway

**D.VA:** so dw

**JUNKRAT:** SORRY ILL AIR THE PLACE OUT AFTER

**JUNKRAT:** IT WONT BE TOO BAD I DONT USUALLY NEED TO USE ACETONE ANYWAY

**MERCY:** That’s good to hear, because the new episode of Iron Chef is going to be on in two hours.

**MERCY:** I expect the room to be scent-free by then.

**JUNKRAT:** YES MAAM

**MEI:** I can’t believe this took so long.

**GENJI:** But was it worth it

**MEI:** They do look very nice.

**MEI:** I’m not sure if I can do this for every date, though.

**MEI:** (My arm’s cramping up.)

**GENJI:** Oh sorry about that

**GENJI:** You should stretch your arms

**MEI:** It’s okay, I appreciate that you’d take so much time to do this.

**D.VA:** are you gonna post the result?

**GENJI:** Yes its already on my instagram and twitter and snapchat story

**GENJI:** Go look i worked very hard

**D.VA:** hey those are pretty cool

**GENJI:** Yeah you really cant go wrong with black red and gold

**D.VA:** nice use of gold glitter!!

**GENJI:** Thank you

**GENJI:** Where is jamison

**D.VA:** hes in the commons doing lucios nails

**GENJI:** Oh

**GENJI:** The christmas stuff right

**GENJI:** Well now i have to do something cooler

**GENJI:** But i dont have nails

**D.VA:** just do hanzos

**GENJI:** @HANZO

**HANZO:** No.

**HANZO:** I’m grocery shopping.

**GENJI:** Damn it

**GENJI:** After that you will not escape my skillful nail brush

**GENJI:** I got some new supplies

**GENJI:** You like snowflakes right

**HANZO:** I guess.

**GENJI:** Yesss

**GENJI:** Snowflakes are cool

**JUNKRAT:** WONT BE AS COOL AS MATCHING NAILS THOUGH

**GENJI:** Shit hes right

**GENJI:** Hm

**GENJI:** @D.VA

**D.VA:** what

**GENJI:** Let me paint your nails

**D.VA:** im playing metal gear

**GENJI:** You can resume metal gear after i paint your nails

**GENJI:** There will be snowflakes on them

**GENJI:** Super cool snowflakes

**D.VA:** i just want to finish this run

**GENJI:** Finish it later

**GENJI:** We need to beat jamison and lucio

**D.VA:** ughhh

**D.VA:** stop appealing to my competitive side

**GENJI:** Dont you want cooler nails than them

**GENJI:** Both you and hanzo will have cooler nails

**GENJI:** You can out-cool them

**D.VA:** ok fine

**D.VA:** fine ill bite

**D.VA:** no acetone though

**GENJI:** Its ok i found the liquid latex

**GENJI:** Youre not allergic to it are you

**D.VA:** nah

**GENJI:** Excellent it should help with cleanup

**GENJI:** Mei help me bring this stuff to hanas room

**MEI:** I have a date.

**GENJI:** Fuck

**GENJI:** Come with me to hanas room ill do your makeup there

**MEI:** Why?

**GENJI:** She stole all my eyeliner

**D.VA:** you said i could have it!

**GENJI:** No i said you could have a few if you wanted

**GENJI:** But you had to be greedy

**D.VA:** sorry theyre just

**D.VA:** theyre all so nice :(

**D.VA:** i left a lot of them unopened though!!

**D.VA:** ill help you with hair and makeup mei

**MEI:** Oh, thank you. :)

**GENJI:** Ok lets go lets go

**GENJI:** We can clean up the mess later

**MEI:** We?

**GENJI:** I will clean up the mess later

**GENJI:** You will be on your date and have a good time

**D.VA:** hey what about zaryas nails

**GENJI:** She doesnt trust me

**GENJI:** In general i mean

**MEI:** She does very good hair and makeup and nails on her own.

**MEI:** I don’t have steady enough hands for eyeliner like her.

**D.VA:** well genji and i are here for you

**MEI:** I appreciate it. Even if I had to sit still for as long as I did.

**GENJI:** Perfect nail art takes time mei

**MEI:** I know, I know.


	43. LOG 17: PART 4/6: HOLIDAYS

**\-- FESTIVE PRICKS --**

**SYMMETRA:** Does anyone have drink requests?

**SYMMETRA:** I believe I’ve covered most of our bases.

**GENJI:** Ginger ale

**SYMMETRA:** Alright, I’ll buy some ginger ale.

**PHARAH:** Canada Dry.

**SYMMETRA:** What is that?

**PHARAH:** It’s ginger ale, but the good kind.

**PHARAH:** I don’t know if you can get it in Spain.

**SYMMETRA:** I’ll see if I can find it. Anyone else?

**D.VA:** could use a tall glass of water

**D.VA:** maybe you can help me out with that

**MEI:** Oh my gosh.

**MERCY:** Hana, please. Not in the chat.

**D.VA:** oh please

**D.VA:** the boys are CONSTANTLY flirting

**D.VA:** who cares!!

**JUNKRAT:** YEAH BUT YOU DONT DO IT

**D.VA:** im a little tipsy

**SYMMETRA:** That would explain your forwardness.

**D.VA:** sorry satya

**SYMMETRA:** Do not apologize.

**SYMMETRA:** If you’re thirsty, I can help you out.

**REINHARDT:** omg.

**ANA:** hahaha you kids are adorable

**D.VA:** im cscreamingf

**D.VA:** aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**D.VA:** _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_

**MCCREE:** hey yall whens the dinner

**WINSTON:** You can just check the #ANNOUNCEMENTS channel, you know.

**WINSTON:** Genji puts everything in there.

**MERCY:** Yes, he’s a surprisingly good moderator.

**GENJI:** ‘Surprisingly’

**GENJI:** Im wounded

**WINSTON:** Well you also pin messages to make fun of Jesse, so you can’t blame Dr. Ziegler for being surprised that you can do regular moderator things, too.

**GENJI:** Ok thats fair

**MCCREE:** aw shit dinners the day after tomorrow

**MCCREE:** i aint ready

**MERCY:** Weren’t you one of the people who signed up to make food?

**MCCREE:** oh im doin fine with the food

**MCCREE:** im not ready for the event itself yknow

**MCCREE:** gotta dress up all fancy

**SOLDIER: 76:** well, yeah. it’s a formal dinner.

**MCCREE:** i dont have goddamn formalwear

**MCCREE:** @HANZO can i borrow a suit

**HANZO:** No.

**HANZO:** You will not fit.

**MCCREE:** oh yeah true

**MCCREE:** @REAPER lend me a suit

**REAPER:** no.

**MCCREE:** cmon it wont be that bad were the same height and everything

**REAPER:** im thinner than you.

**D.VA:** fucking dorito ass ghost man

**REAPER:** wow.

**ANA:** lmao get told

**MCCREE:** you WISH you had this body

**REAPER:** i really dont.

**MCCREE:** @SOLDIER: 76

**SOLDIER: 76:** jesse, you wouldn’t fit in my suits, either. even if we are the same height.

**SOLDIER: 76:** just buy a new one.

**MCCREE:** expensive

**SOLDIER: 76:** why don’t you just get your boyfriend to buy you a new one?

**MCCREE:** @HANZO lend me some money

**HANZO:** Ok.

**SOLDIER: 76:** that was simple, right?

**HANZO:** I will accompany you.

**MCCREE:** aw youre so sweet honey

**HANZO:** I do not trust your fashion sense.

**GENJI:** Hahahahahahahahahaha

**GENJI:** You shouldnt

**MCCREE:** rude

**MCCREE:** lets go its already late im in my room

**HANZO:** Ok.

**HANZO:** @GENJI I’m borrowing your car.

**GENJI:** What no

**GENJI:** Dont take my car

**HANZO:** I’m taking your car.

**GENJI:** What the hell

**GENJI:** Just take amelies hoverplane thing

**HANZO:** No it’s at Talon HQ.

**GENJI:** Dont you dare touch my car

**HANZO:** I’m touching your car.

**HANZO:** My hand is on the door handle.

**HANZO:** I am opening the door to your car.

**GENJI:** Go fuck yourself

**MCCREE:** why dont you want hanzo to take your car??

**D.VA:** yeah he can drive cant he

**GENJI:** Yes he can drive but its my car

**GENJI:** You cant just take my car

**D.VA:** didnt lena do that already

**TRACER:** yup ;)

**GENJI:** She left despite my protesting

**TRACER:** i returned it just fine!!

**GENJI:** Yes yes that is true

**HANZO:** I am a better driver than Lena.

**HANZO:** And in any case it will be on autopilot so you needn’t worry.

**GENJI:** I love my car

**GENJI:** I am hooked up to it so if you do anything stupid i will know

**MCCREE:** were just goin to get me a suit genji cmon

**GENJI:** Whatever if you wreck it ill just buy a new one

**MCCREE:** damn rich people

**SOLDIER: 76:** always like this.

**HANZO:** It does not matter.

**HANZO:** @GENJI Do you recall a few days ago when you got drunk and broke several objects then I had to go tend to you because the others told me to.

**GENJI:** No

**GENJI:** I was very VERY drunk

**HANZO:** Exactly.

**HANZO:** Let’s go, Jesse.

**MCCREE:** comin

**GENJI:** Wow


	44. LOG 17: PART 5/6: HOLIDAYS

**\-- AUTOMATIC VOICE CALL TRANSCRIPT: FESTIVE PRICKS --**

**WINSTON:** [You really outdid yourselves! Good job to everyone who helped out with the party. Er, dinner.]

**ZENYATTA:** [The decorations look great.]

**TRACER:** [Thanks, love! Hana and I had a lot to work with.]

**D.VA:** [Yeah, there was a TON of stuff in the old boxes. Kinda dusty, but still usable. Most of it was for Christmas and Hanukkah, so we bought more decorations for the other holidays.]

**D.VA:** [It’s gonna be pretty hard to take everything down and sort it again...]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Most of the decorations were lights, anyway. You don’t have to sort them.]

**TRACER:** [They were sorted in the boxes, though.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [What? Really?]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [I don’t remember ever having done that.]

**TRACER:** [It was probably Gérard.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Yeah, that sounds right.]

**WIDOWMAKER:** [He loved organization. It was his thing.]

**MCCREE:** [Not to mention Boxing Week shopping.]

**TRACER:** [Whoa, is that what you bought with Hanzo’s money?]

**MCCREE:** [Yup. Didn’t know it was a pain in the ass to get a decent suit, but hey. You live and you learn.]

**D.VA:** [Good for you, you look dashing as fuck. And Lena, you look amazing!]

**TRACER:** [Thanks! I’ve always wanted to wear a suit to a fancy dinner.]

**MCCREE:** [I know I look dashing as fuck.]

**MCCREE:** [Nice dress, Hana, it matches your nails. Blue and sparkly.]

**D.VA:** [Hahaha, Genji would’ve had a fit if I  _ didn’t _ match my outfit to the manicure.]

**D.VA:** [He did a great job, though. Check out all these snowflakes.]

**GENJI:** [The gradient was the fun part. Did you see Hanzo’s?]

**D.VA:** [Nope. But we’re supposed to match, right?]

**GENJI:** [Yes. I told you, with our powers combined, we would beat Jamison and Lúcio.]

**MCCREE:** [What matters is you all did a fine job.]

**GENJI:** [No, what matters is winning.]

**GENJI:** [Where did Hanzo go?]

**HANZO:** [Present.]

**GENJI:** [Go with Hana and show off your nails.]

**HANZO:** [Ok. Let’s go, Hana.]

**D.VA:** [Sure, why not.]

**TRACER:** [Hahaha, look at them go. They both pull off the smug aura look really well.]

**MCCREE:** [I love my boyfriend.]

**TRACER:** [Hey, Jess, how’s this dinner supposed to work, anyway?]

**MCCREE:** [Satya said you just serve yourself at the table there. No need to wait for anything or anyone.]

**SYMMETRA:** [Yes, go get a plate and pick what you’d like to eat. We even labelled the dishes.]

**MCCREE:** [AGH! Don’t sneak up on me like that!]

**SYMMETRA:** [My apologies.]

**TRACER:** [She’s not sneaking at all, can’t you hear the sound of heels clicking when she gets close?]

**MCCREE:** [All I can hear is this godawful Christmas song they’re playing.]

**TRACER:** [I picked this song out, don’t you love ‘Let it Snow’?]

**MCCREE:** [I don’t, and I’d rather it didn’t snow, if I’m gonna be honest.]

**TRACER:** [Well it’s your fault that you’re so bad with the cold!]

**MCCREE:** [I come from the southwestern States, what d’you expect?]

**TRACER:** [Oh yeah, it’s pretty warm there, isn’t it.]

**MCCREE:** [Very. Let’s go grab a bite or two, I’m hungry.]

**MERCY:** [Oh my gosh, Fareeha, you look wonderful.]

**PHARAH:** [And you too, Angela.]

**PHARAH:** [White is really your colour. The gold, too.]

**MERCY:** [Stop, you’re making me blush. I thought you were coming in a suit?]

**PHARAH:** [I was, but I didn’t have the time to buy a new one, and the one I own isn’t at Gibraltar.]

**PHARAH:** [It wasn’t too hard to order a dress, though. I really liked the deep red of this one.]

**MERCY:** [You look beautiful. Let’s go see what the others cooked.]

**MCCREE:** [Evenin’, ladies. Both of you look stunning.]

**TRACER:** [Wow, Angie, that’s a great updo!]

**TRACER:** [Also, don’t get any of the turkey.]

**MCCREE:** [Hey, I worked hard on that turkey.]

**TRACER:** [Jess, I know you can cook a lot of things, but... turkey isn’t one of them.]

**MERCY:** [It’s not easy making a good turkey.]

**MCCREE:** [And why’s that?]

**MERCY:** [It’s so dry.]

**TRACER:** [Yeah, I like my turkeys moist.]

**MCCREE:** [Don’t... don’t say that word again.]

**TRACER:** [Moist?]

**PHARAH:** [That’s a terrible word.]

**TRACER:** [Moist.]

**MCCREE:** [I’m goin’ to go sit down... with Hanzo. Bye.]

**PHARAH:** [Look what you’ve done, Lena. You’ve driven him away.]

**MERCY:** [...I’m going to take some of the turkey. It’d be a waste of food to avoid it.]

**TRACER:** [Aw, alright. But remember to put a lot of sauce on top.]

**MERCY:** [Of course.]

**D.VA:** [Jamie outdid himself with his dishes.]

**D.VA:** [I think this is some of the best salad I’ve ever had. And he doesn’t even like making salad.]

**MEI:** [The potato salad is good.]

**D.VA:** [Hey, Mei! That’s a really nice dress.]

**MEI:** [Hey! Zarya’s wearing one, too. Have you seen her yet? She looks so good I had to get up to look away...]

**D.VA:** [Aww, that’s adorable. And whoa, I can see what you mean.]

**MEI:** [She’s looking over here!]

**D.VA:** [Wave to her, you doofus.]

**MEI:** [Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh.]

**PHARAH:** [That was the tiniest wave I’ve ever seen.]

**MEI:** [I’m really flustered, alright? I can't help it.]

**D.VA:** [Hey, do you still have the nail art that Genji did?]

**MEI:** [Huh? Yeah, right here. He did yours and Hanzo’s too, right?]

**D.VA:** [Yup. Really showed a thing or two to Jamie and Lúcio.]

**MEI:** [It’s always a competition or something with you people, hahaha.]

**MEI:** [Those are the cutest snowflakes.]

**D.VA:** [Hey, where’d they go, anyway?]

**D.VA:** [Hanzo and I were just talking to them, so they were definitely here.]

**PHARAH:** [Well, the members of Overwatch are no stranger to sneaking off at parties.]

**PHARAH:** [Remember Hallowe’en?]

**D.VA:** [Oh yeah, with McHanzo.]

**PHARAH:** [Did you... Did you just call them McHanzo?]

**D.VA:** [It’s shorter than saying “with Jesse and Hanzo”.]

**PHARAH:** [Well that’s fair.]

**MERCY:** [Come on, Fareeha, let’s go sit down. There’s so much great food I need to try.]

**PHARAH:** [Oh, it all looks really good. The other agents are skilled cooks, and I didn’t even know.]

**MEI:** [Hm... I don’t see them, either. Mako’s sitting with Winston and Bastion. The quiet table, I think.]

**MEI:** [And I think the music’s on an automatic playlist.]

**D.VA:** [Yeah, it is. I think Zenyatta compiled it for us. Is it okay if I come sit with you and Zarya?]

**MEI:** [Of course! Let’s go, I’m getting hungry.]

**ZARYA:** [Good evening, Hana.]

**D.VA:** [Good evening! You look amazing, as always. Flawless makeup.]

**ZARYA:** [Thank you. I love your dress. It matches your nails.]

**D.VA:** [Haha, yours matches your nails, too.]

**ZARYA:** [I appreciate colour coordination.]

**MEI:** [You should get your food now, the line’s shorter.]

**ZARYA:** [Yes, I’ll be right back.]

**D.VA:** [Aww, you’re blushing again.]

**MEI:** [Shut up! She kissed me, why wouldn’t I?]

**D.VA:** [You two are so cute.]

**MCCREE:** [Aw, Hanzo, of course you had to come here lookin’ perfect like it’s not even hard.]

**HANZO:** [Yes.]

**MCCREE:** [And for that matter - you too, Genji.]

**GENJI:** [Yes.]

**MCCREE:** [Y’all make formalwear look so effortless.]

**GENJI:** [What, like it’s hard?]

**HANZO:** [It was years ago that we grew accustomed to formalwear and banquets and business dinners.]

**GENJI:** [They were all so boring.]

**HANZO:** [Indeed.]

**GENJI:** [But we always looked good.]

**HANZO:** [Still do.]

**MCCREE:** [Alright, if you’re done jackin’ each other’s well-dressed egos... y’all eatin’ or not?]

**GENJI:** [Jesse, for fuck’s sake.]

**MCCREE:** [I mean... wow, nevermind.]

**MCCREE:** [Let’s talk about somethin’ else.]

**HANZO:** [Yes, disregard the fact that Genji cannot eat. I took some of the turkey you made.]

**GENJI:** [I am glad I cannot eat. Then I will not have to choke down that dry meat like everyone else who is trying to spare Jesse’s delicate feelings.]

**MCCREE:** [It ain’t that bad. I made some of the other stuff too, y’know.]

**MCCREE:** [Hanzo, Jamison and I all took some of the food requests people had.]

**HANZO:** [I made mashed potatoes for Hana.]

**MCCREE:** [Yeah, among other things. It was fun cookin’ together, especially ‘cause the kitchen gets zero use here.]

**MCCREE:** [I did the jerk chicken poutine, ‘cause Fareeha mentioned wantin’ some of it.]

**MCCREE:** [Memories of home, apparently?]

**MCCREE:** [It was fun tryin’ something new.]

**HANZO:** [I did all the dessert requests. Rice pudding and... a yule log cake, and some strawberry donut things I bought.]

**GENJI:** [It’s ok, Hanzo, I can’t pronounce risgrynsgröt either.]

**HANZO:** [Whatever.]

**MCCREE:** [Ris... what??]

**HANZO:** [That’s the rice pudding. I do not recall which celebration it comes from.]

**GENJI:** [There are a lot.]

**D.VA:** [Hey, guys. Have you seen Jamie and Lúcio?]

**GENJI:** [Nope.]

**HANZO:** [Jamison was plating with us earlier.]

**MCCREE:** [Yeah, haven’t seen him since we set everything out on the table.]

**D.VA:** [Dang. Maybe they did leave together...]

**HANZO:** [How cute.]

**GENJI:** [Very.]

**D.VA:** [For that matter, where’d Satya go?]

**HANZO:** [She said she forgot one of the drinks she was getting, so she went out to buy it.]

**HANZO:** [She was here a few minutes ago.]

**GENJI:** [She fixed my tie, because apparently I put it on crooked.]

**HANZO:** [You  _ did _ put it on crooked.]

**GENJI:** [I was in a hurry!]

**HANZO:** [Why?]

**GENJI:** [None of your business.]

**HANZO:** [Reyes.]

**MCCREE:** [Like there’s any other reason...]

**D.VA:** [Augh, you gross old men are no help!!]

**D.VA:** [But do you know where she went?]

**HANZO:** [Do you know where the nearest store for alcohol is?]

**D.VA:** [Yeah, I went with Genji on the booze run last week.]

**GENJI:** [That’s the store.]

**GENJI:** [Hold on, Hana. Don’t go after her.]

**D.VA:** [I- why not?]

**HANZO:** [She will be back soon.]

**HANZO:** [It’s a very short round trip.]

**D.VA:** [Oh. I mean, I guess it... yeah. Alright, I’ll wait.]

**HANZO:** [You’re so gay.]

**GENJI:** [Extremely gay.]

**MCCREE:** [Hahaha, and that’s comin’ from these two.]

**D.VA:** [Whatever!]

**D.VA:** [I’m worried, ok? I mean, she’ll be fine, of course. I just... I dunno. I mean, it’s not a big deal. The drink she forgot to get, that isn’t really like her.]

**HANZO:** [It’s not, but we all had a lot to keep track of.]

**MCCREE:** [Yeah, there were a lotta drink requests on her plate.]

**MCCREE:** [Hey, even the most organized people forget stuff sometimes.]

**MCCREE:** [Like Gérard that one year...]

**GENJI:** [Oh, don’t remind me.]

**D.VA:** [What happened?]

**MCCREE:** [He got so caught up with the holidays and shopping, he... kinda forgot his and Amélie’s anniversary.]

**MCCREE:** [Like, their wedding anniversary.]

**D.VA:** [Yowch.]

**MCCREE:** [He made up for it, though, ‘cause he had plenty of gifts for her.]

**GENJI:** [Well, she was always very forgiving. Back then.]

**WIDOWMAKER:** [You know I can hear you from this table, right?]

**GENJI:** [It was a compliment. Sort of.]

**REAPER:** [Don’t bother. She’ll be rude about it whether or not it was a sly dig.]

**GENJI:** [How’s the food?]

**REAPER:** [Pretty good. Gotta say, this is more entertaining than the Talon dinner was.]

**REAPER:** [We just... ate.]

**SOMBRA:** [The food was really good, but there wasn’t much going on.]

**GENJI:** [Well of course you’d all have more fun here, like my brother and I are enjoying ourselves more than at all those stupid business banquets we used to attend.]

**SOMBRA:** [Haha, why’s that?]

**GENJI:** [Because you’re here with friends.]

**WIDOWMAKER:** [I don’t know about that. I’m not sure we’re all friends.]

**GENJI:** [Whatever, just eat the potato salad and smile and pretend you’re having the time of your life.]

**REAPER:** [Wise words.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ genji painted hanzo and d.va's nails. black to blue on one of them, blue to black gradient on the other (doesn't rly matter who cuz u can't see their hands it's a fanfic) with silver glittery snowflakes on top. very pretty.
> 
> junkrat's are red with white french tips, lucio's are white with red french tips. candy cane-themed. very stylish.


	45. LOG 17: PART 6/6: HOLIDAYS

**\-- AUTOMATIC VOICE CALL TRANSCRIPT: FESTIVE PRICKS --**

**SYMMETRA:** [I’m back, and I brought the champagne.]

**D.VA:** [Satya! It’s been half an hour, I was starting to get worried.]

**HANZO:** [“Starting to.”]

**D.VA:** [Shut it.]

**SYMMETRA:** [Here, Hana. You said you wanted this brand, right? I apologize for having forgotten.]

**D.VA:** [Oh my gosh, you didn’t have to go through the trouble!]

**D.VA:** [I would’ve been fine with whatever we already had on hand, you know. That’s so sweet, I don’t know what to say.]

**MEI:** [ _Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss._ ]

**ZARYA:** [They’ll hear you.]

**MEI:** [That’s why I’m whispering, hehe.]

**TRACER:** [Think they notice we’re watching them?]

**ZARYA:** [Not if you keep your head tilted away.]

**D.VA:** [You, um, you look really nice.]

**D.VA:** [There’s... there’s some snow in your hair, I’ll just, uh, get that for you.]

**D.VA:** [Y-your dress, it’s... you look... you’re really pretty - I mean, your dress is really pretty. A-and so are you! You’re pretty, too, I mean...]

**D.VA:** [I- yeah.]

**SYMMETRA:** [Thank you, Hana. You look beautiful.]

**D.VA:** [Let’s, uh, I’ll come with you... maybe you can get some food, I have some recs... I kinda already ate, but...]

**SYMMETRA:** [Alright. I’ll pour you some champagne after, if you’d like.]

**D.VA:** [I’d love that.]

**GENJI:** [Honey, what are you doing?]

**HANZO:** [Don’t stop him, you fool. He will not listen.]

**REAPER:** [I’ve had so many drinks and nothing is a bad idea. Fuck eating.]

**REAPER:** [Hold my jacket.]

**HANZO:** [I don’t want this. Here, Genji.]

**GENJI:** [Gladly.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [I don’t think that’s how it works, Reyes...]

**REAPER:** [They wouldn’t put a pole in this room if it wasn’t meant to be used.]

**MCCREE:** [Well he has a point, we’ve always used that floor as a dancefloor.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [No, we haven’t. It’s not like we have a party every day... this doubles as a meeting room.]

**GENJI:** [Nobody thinks of this room as a meeting room, Jack.]

**MEI:** [Wow, those are some really nice acrobatics.]

**MCCREE:** [Been a long while since he’s let loose like this.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Yup, weird to see him without the stick up his ass.]

**MCCREE:** [That’s rich, coming from you.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [I heard that snort, Hanzo.]

**HANZO:** [You deserved the insult and it was hilariously executed.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Touché.]

**MERCY:** [Gabriel, what the hell are you doing?]

**MERCY:** [Gabriel...]

**MERCY:** [He’s not listening. Avert your eyes, Fareeha.]

**PHARAH:** [I can’t. I’m recording.]

**PHARAH:** [This is going on Instagram.]

**MERCY:** [Genji’s already streaming, you know.]

**PHARAH:** [I know, but I just have to  record this myself, too.]

**ZARYA:** [Keep it up, old man!]

**ZARYA:** [Where are my bills?]

**MEI:** [We didn’t bring our bags...]

**ZARYA:** [A shame.]

**ZARYA:** [I’m going to get my wallet.]

**MEI:** [Oh, I’ll come with you.]

**REAPER:** [Genji, get over here.]

**GENJI:** [Coming!]

**HANZO:** [You should join them, Jack.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Like hell I’m gonna poledance at this dinner. I’m not nearly drunk enough for it.]

**SOLDIER: 76:** [Also, I don’t know how to poledance.]

**MCCREE:** [How about  _ them _ ?]

**HANZO:** [They took a class together.]

**MCCREE:** [Of course they did.]

**MCCREE:** [Hey, we should try that too, darlin’.]

**HANZO:** [Let’s not.]

**MCCREE:** [Aw, c’mon, why not?]

**HANZO:** [You just want to see me do it.]

**MCCREE:** [Well yeah, I thought that was obvious.]

**HANZO:** [Tsk.]

**ANA:** [Hahaha, you go, Gabe!]

**SOMBRA:** [Yeah, this is a  _ huge _ improvement over the Talon dinner.]

**WIDOWMAKER:** [This is the worst. Let’s go, Lena.]

**TRACER:** [Hold on, hold on, I can’t stop laughing! I wish I could do that!]

**TRACER:** [Way to steal the show, Gabe!]

**WIDOWMAKER:** [Ma chérie... ]

**WIDOWMAKER:** [Is this what you’re impressed by?]

**WIDOWMAKER:** [Where’s Angela?]

**MERCY:** [Right here.]

**WIDOWMAKER:** [Let’s go impress our girlfriends.]

**MERCY:** [But I’m not done my drink...]

**WIDOWMAKER:** [It can wait.]

**MERCY:** [Alright, alright. Let’s go.]

**TRACER:** [Holy shit.]

**TRACER:** [YEAH!! YOU GO, AMY!!!!]

**TRACER:** [Oh my gosh, Genji, please tell me you’re recording.]

**GENJI:** [Of course.]

**PHARAH:** [I didn’t know you could poledance, Angela.]

**TRACER:** [This is the best. I am so turned on right now.]

**PHARAH:** [Same.]

**MEI:** [Wow, that’s a lot of bills.]

**ZARYA:** [They’re inconvenient to keep around, but I keep them for nights like this.]

**MEI:** [Angela and Amélie started dancing, too...]

**ZARYA:** [They have excellent synergy.]

**ZARYA:** [Time to make it rain.]

**ZARYA:** [Here, take half this stack.]

**D.VA:** [Sh, shh... not so loud, they’ll hear us!]

**SYMMETRA:** [I am being quiet.]

**D.VA:** [I hope they don’t notice these bottles missing, haha.]

**SYMMETRA:** [They won’t. They’re all distracted.]

**D.VA:** [SHIT- Jamie, Lúci, you two scared the crap outta me!]

**JUNKRAT:** [Whoops!]

**LÚCIO:** [Sorry, we uh... just got back.]

**D.VA:** [Where’ve you two been??]

**JUNKRAT:** [Who cares about that? What’s happening in here?]

**LÚCIO:** [Yeah, what’s up with the poledancing? Dang, I didn’t know Gabi was that flexible.]

**D.VA:** [He got drunk and pulled Genji up with him. Then Angela and Amélie joined them.]

**D.VA:** [Apparently they’re familiar with each other.]

**JUNKRAT:** [Well I’m starving, let’s get food.]

**D.VA:** [Wait wait wait, where were you guys?]

**LÚCIO:** [Uh... y’know. Around.]

**D.VA:** [I have no idea what you’re talking about. I mean, I remember we showed off our nails to each other and stuff, but that’s it.]

**D.VA:** [You both dipped out after that.]

**JUNKRAT:** [Well whatever we were doing, it was a lot less gay than this poledancing competition.]

**JUNKRAT:** [They keep shooting glares at each other.]

**D.VA:** [Hold on, what was that?]

**D.VA:** [I mean, I get why this would be top tier gay, even if Mercy and Amélie aren’t dating, but... did you just...]

**LÚCIO:** [Hana, are you sneaking out with Satya?]

**SYMMETRA:** [Maybe.]

**LÚCIO:** [Well don’t let us stop you.]

**D.VA:** [Damn it, answer my question!]

**SYMMETRA:** [They won’t. Let’s go, Hana.]

**D.VA:** [Alright, alright.]

**LÚCIO:** [So... anyway. Did you make the potato salad?]

**JUNKRAT:** [Yup, but Hog helped. I think he was just trying to make sure I didn’t fuck it up.]

**LÚCIO:** [Aw well, it looks great!]

**LÚCIO:** [Hold on, is that Hana?]

**JUNKRAT:** [Looks like it. Back so soon?]

**D.VA:** [HANZO!]

**HANZO:** [WHAT?!]

**D.VA:** [KEEP YOUR FUCKING WOLVES INSIDE YOUR ROOM FOR FUCK’S SAKE!]

**D.VA:** [ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US ALL FUCKED OVER?]

**HANZO:** [WHY ARE WE YELLING.]

**D.VA:** [I WAS ANGRY.]

**HANZO:** [YOU’RE FUCKING LOUD.]

**D.VA:** [SORRY. Sorry!]

**D.VA:** [Just... take them back before Winston wakes up. He seriously fell asleep on the table? Hahaha.]

**HANZO:** [By the looks of it, yes.]

**SYMMETRA:** [Don’t worry about it, Hana. I’ll take them back. I think Hanzo’s busy.]

**D.VA:** [How can you-]

**SYMMETRA:** [Jesse’s hand.]

**D.VA:** [Nevermind.]

**D.VA:** [I don’t think they’ll listen to us, though...]

**SYMMETRA:** [O mochi. Kyuukan. Kuru. ]

**SYMMETRA:** [Let’s go.]

**D.VA:** [Wh-what the fuck... oh my god, they’re actually following you.]

**D.VA:** [I... I’m not even gonna ask.]

**SYMMETRA:** [Hanzo and I, among others, have had plenty of time to chat about our pets during teatime.]

**D.VA:** [But they’re  _ wolves. _ They’re wild animals.]

**D.VA:** [Um... wild animals with paint on their fur, but still.]

**SYMMETRA:** [It’s complicated. You should ask about it sometime, but not now. Let’s take them back to their room.]

**SYMMETRA:** [Then we can head back to yours.]

**D.VA:** [Oh. Oh! Oh, right, right. Yes. Yes, holy shit.]

**JUNKRAT:** [So what d’you think they’re doing?]

**LÚCIO:** [C’mon, James. It’s obvious.]

**LÚCIO:** [They’re  _ gay. _ ]

**JUNKRAT:** [So, same as us?]

**LÚCIO:** [Hahaha, definitely.]

**MERCY:** [Are you two going to keep giggling at the back, or do we have to yell for your opinions?]

**LÚCIO:** [What do you mean, Angela?]

**MERCY:** [This is a competition now.]

**REAPER:** [It didn’t have to be.]

**GENJI:** [I like winning.]

**WIDOWMAKER:** [I also like winning.]

**MERCY:** [Come judge the better dancers!]

**PHARAH:** [I know my pick.]

**MEI:** [You’re biased, of course you know.]

**MCCREE:** [Y’all didn’t have to turn this into a competition...]

**MCCREE:** [Not everything has to be a competition, Angie.]

**MCCREE:** [We can just sit back and enjoy the show for once.]

**MERCY:** [Shut up and vote.]

**SOMBRA:** [I wish Talon was this entertaining.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ [clasps hands together] flustered gay d.va
> 
> merry tail end of the holiday break!! hope you got what you wanted for loot boxes. here's to 2017. :)


	46. LOG 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i worked hard on this one, enjoy //

**\-- PRICKWATCH --**

**GENJI:** I need healing

 **MERCY:** I am going to fucking shoot you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **GENJI:**  Thats fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ working on d&dwatch log to go with aven's, but i'm slow SORRY


	47. BLIZZARD BATTLE.NET APP LOG 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not an official update... whatever that would entail.. just something low-effort and simple. i'm still suffering with school but here's something silly in the meantime. i say meantime as if i'm still working on this fic, but an author can dream //

**=(yIFF)= overwatch    ▼**

_8 of 26 online_

**IT'S BASICALLY DISCORD**

* * *

 

**CHANNELS  +**

**General**

 

 **RocketQueen** _9:51 PM_

Why did I join?

 **hog** _11:26 PM_

just like discord, but kind of worse.

 **Mercy** _11:43 PM_

Always with the "yiff".

It's also good to know that this is a Winston-free zone, and I can say whatever I want about him.

Winston is cool.

I bet Winston likes flowers.

_\--- Tuesday, October 24, 2077 ---_

**YƗFFGǾD** _1:20 AM_

I have arrived.

 **ĠŊĠ** _1:20 AM_

You finally made it into the bootleg discord

 **YƗFFGǾD**   _1:21 AM_

Everyone is here with !@#$ing profile pictures.

How the !@#$.

 **ĠŊĠ** _1:21 AM_

Why is the chat !@#$ing censored for me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\\ [based on this](http://ubercharge.tumblr.com/post/166736240121/remember-when-i-wrote-what-was-essentially-a) now that blizzard has added groups but, if you've seen it yourself, you can agree... it's basically discord.
> 
> full circle!
> 
> edit: i actually changed one of my alt accounts' battletags to fucking YƗFFGǾD so there really are no winners here


End file.
